The IJD GAF FAQ
by IJD GAF (who will soon get tired of all these abbreviations)
Q: So what's with your name?
It's an acronym; it stands for I Just Don't Get A PG rating.
Q: Hey, that doesn't make any sense....
Believe me, it does.
I'm male and I live in Florida. Age is irrelevant.
Q: Do you even have a name?
Yes, I do.
Q: Well isn't that vague?
Yes. Seriously, I like using the internet for anonymity, but my first name's Ryan if you want to know.
Q: Wait, you're not from Canada?
What are you talking aboot, eh?
Q: I'm offended.
Then I'm doing my job well. Are you going to ask any real questions any time soon?
Q: Hmm.... Do you have a job?
Nah, not right now.
Q: Oh. So how'd you get sucked into this site, anyway?
I stumbled onto the site from a link at the TrekBBS around the summer of 2001, and requested "Relativity" right away. As a first venture, it wasn't great, and it was a while before I tried again--
Q: Booo-ring. Just tell us how you got to be section head of 5MST.
Shouldn't you have read that elsewhere?
Q: Humor me.
Well I had just finished my fivers for Star Trek V and Star Trek VI, when I asked Zeke if I could tackle the entire classic Star Trek series. Marc had just premiered his 5MNG section, and Zeke told me -- shortly -- that I'd have to write an episode for each season as a trial run. I gave him two from each season, plus two from the Animated Series. The rest just kinda fell into place.
Q: Why do you bother with TAS? Nobody's ever watched that kiddy stuff.
I have. Besides, it needs to be done for completeness sake. In fact, it'll likely be the first completely fived series.
Q: For that matter, why do you bother with such a cheesy series in the first place?
Hey now, you're insulting my childhood here. I grew up on the stuff, and I love every hour of it.
Q: Including commercials?
Q: And why don't you make fun of TOS's effects? It's so easy!
As a matter of fact, that is why. I do my best to center my jokes on plot, not effects. The effects are easy targets, and a rather old joke in my mind.
Q: And why don't Chekov or Scotty have accents?
Because they're a pain. Seriously, making fun of accents is another joke I feel has been done too much. For similar reasons I don't make fun of Kirk's drawn-out speech.
Q: So what do you make fun of?
Personality-devoid question askers.
I thought so.... haven't you run out of questions yet?
Q: No. Cedar?
Q: Okay, now I'm out.
Good, 'cause I'm tired of talking to myself.
Zeke: I HATE double punctuation!
(Question-asker is punted into the next FAQ)
That's what. Peace.
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All material © 2002, IJD GAF.