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The Scooter FAQ by Scooter (who?) |
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Q: Who are you?
Are you trying to be funny? Q: No. Seriously, who are you? Oh. I'm Zeke's Doctor Who guy. My name's Mark, but my online ID is Scooter. Q: "Scooter"? (snicker) For real? Just for that, no pie. Q: Aw. But why -- Back in college I made the mistake of telling my friends I had never gotten a cool nickname. So they decided to give me one. Q: But why -- Because I liked scooter pies. You know, those chocolate-covered marshmallow sandwiches. Look, you had to be there. Q: So, you never did get a cool nickname. (sigh) No. Q: College, huh? So you're all edjumacated and stuff? Kinda. I used to do computer programming, but I just went back to school to get my doctorate in ancient history. I specialize in the late Roman Repub-- Q: (zzzzz) Hey, wake up! Q: Oh, sorry. (yawn) That's powerful stuff. So where do you live, Canada or Florida? Neither. I live in New York City. Q: What? Wait, how did that happen? Shh! Don't tell Zeke. He thinks I'm from Vancouver. Q: Gotcha. So what's this Doctor Who thing exactly? I've never heard of it. It's only the longest-running science fiction show ever and one of the most popular programs ever made! Geez. It ran from 1963 to 1989 on BBC, a new version was launched in 2005, there have been ten actors playing the role -- Q: Ten different actors all played Doctor Who? Yes. The Doctor "regenerates" periodically so that new actors can play him. Q: Like the two Darrins, then? Kinda. Well, no. Look, the point is, one of the reasons I enjoy Doctor Who is the way each Doctor brings something new to the character and to the show. Q: Uh huh. Wait, I think I've seen one. Some tall guy with curly hair, big teeth, and a long scarf, right? Yeah, that's Tom Baker, the Fourth Doctor. But there were also -- Q: Yeah, my roommate used to watch that stuff. What a dork. He played D&D and sang in the glee club, too. Do you sing in a glee club, Scooter? Actually -- look, who are you, Biff Tannen? Can we move on? Q: Whatever you say. So how did you get involved with 5MV? Some time in 2003 I stumbled across the site looking for online parodies and got hooked. I read all the Trek fivers and then discovered there were also a couple of Doctor Who fivers and immediately sat down to write one of my own. And the rest, after a couple years of making a nuisance of myself, is history. Q: Are you only into Doctor Who? No, I'm a big Trek fan too. I enjoy most forms of science fiction -- books, TV, movies, whatever. LOTR too, of course. I also love most live-action superhero stuff -- I've written fivers for Smallville and Angel. Q: Man, you are a geek. Next you'll tell me your mom is Chief Medical Officer on a Federation starship. Just think of me as Wesley's smarter brother. Are you done? Q: Can I have a scooter pie? No. Q: Then I'm done. Fantastic. |
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