Five-Minute "A Man Alone"
by div1701

Jadzia: Here, Julian, solve this puzzle.
Bashir: Sounds easy.
Sphere: POP!
Bashir: Rats.

Sisko: You remind me of Curzon.
Jadzia: Sorry, I can't see the resemblance.
Sisko: You misunderstand me.
Jadzia: Do you think we should still be friends?
Sisko: Well, if you left the series, whom would Worf marry?
Jadzia: Hmm...Leeta?

Odo: I don't understand why you humanoids....
Quark: Here we go again. Someone distract him.
Ibudan: Odo! I'm free! I'm free!
Odo: I'm locking you up.
Sisko: That's enough fighting and out-of-character behaviour!
Odo: These are still early days. I can act however I want.

Sisko: Put up with Ibudan, Odo. He hasn't done anything wrong yet.
Odo: I can wait till he does.
Sisko: The Federation will not be able to support you if you....
Odo: I AM SECURITY CHIEF!
Sisko: Temper, Constable.

Jake: Hello, thieving Ferengi child. I need storylines for a few seasons, so I need a friend.
Nog: Well, okay, it'll give you something to do for a while. But after "Little Green Men," you'll have to find your own storylines.
Jake: Okay. Let's create trouble.
Nog: I have plenty of experience there.

Keiko: Trouble-creating children. Time to start plotting.
O'Brien: Enough storylines in one episode already!
Keiko: Miles, I want to start a school.
O'Brien: Well, I suppose you could use some education....

Ibudan Clone: Ahhh...relaxing...GAK!

Odo: Ibudan is dead.
Sisko: Can we have a series where no one states the obvious?
Kira: Who could have killed him? The doors only opened twice.
Odo: I'll just accuse myself of murder. There, I just did it.

Odo: Commander, I'm the prime suspect in Ibudan's murder.
Sisko: Excellent.
Odo: I didn't actually kill him.
Sisko: Yes, Constable, that's right...you didn't.

Keiko: I want to open a school.
Sisko: I find that remark insulting, Mrs. O'Brien.
Jake: I really hate it when potential school-teachers eavesdrop on me causing trouble.

Zayru: Oh my god, Odo killed Ibudan!
Kira: You b******! Sorry, had to say it.
Sisko: I'll look into the matter.
Zayru: Thank you. In the meantime, I'll gather a mob.

Bashir: Hmmm, strange...a clone...oh, Jadzia!
Jadzia: So what was Ibudan working on?
Bashir: I dunno.

Sisko: I'm relieving you of duty.
Odo: I knew I should have killed you when I met you.
Sisko: Is that a threat?
Odo: No! Wait a minute, yes.

Keiko: Will you send Nog to my school?
Rom: Yay! A name! Of course I will, but this early in the series I'll have to show objection.
Keiko: Understood.

Quark: I don't think Odo's responsible.
Zayru: Any more Odo supporters?
Morn: ...
Quark: Quiet, Morn, you don't speak.
Hooded Man: Bwa! Ha! Hahahaha!

Odo: My beloved office!
Quark: I'm on your side, but please get convicted of the crime.
Odo: I'll be back. I'm contracted for seven seasons.
Quark: Unfortunately for you, so am I.

Jadzia: Lets see...it's humanoid, created by Ibudan, he was in prison with a cloning expert...what could this experiment be?
Bashir: That's a tough one. Do you know?
Jadzia: What's that noise?

Odo: Leave me alone!
Mob: You're outvoted.
Sisko: Stop or I'll give my speech.
Mob: We'll stop.
Sisko: I'll give my speech anyway.

Bashir: Commander! It was a clone who killed Ibudan!
Jadzia: No, Ibudan killed a clone!
Bashir: Dax, until "Doctor Bashir, I Presume," I make mistakes.

Odo: Who might you be?
Hooded Man: I am The Hooded Man.
Odo: The Hooded Man is none other than...Ibudan!
Ibudan: And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Odo: You are under arrest for murder, theft, conspiracy, betrayal, cloning....
Ibudan: We'll be here a while.

Keiko: The school is now open.
O'Brien: Here's a great gift.
Keiko: Oh, so much effort.
O'Brien: I had to walk a whole two meters to get to that replicator -- you should be grateful.

Pupils: We're all here, but grudgingly.
Keiko: Don't worry. The school is due to be bombed in a year.
(The station turns at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END


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This fiver was originally published on December 14, 2001.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2001, div1701.