Five-Minute "Chasing After the Wind"

by Nell

Ezri: You seem depressed and crabby.
Bashir: No I don't.
Ezri: You do so! Just for that, I'm going to massage you to death.
Bashir: Okay, fine, I'll stop it. Yeesh.

Kasidy: Well, hey there!
Ezri: Hiya!
Jake: Mutter, grumble.
Bashir: That's my line.

Kasidy: Oh, my baby's so lovely! Sigh....

Bashir: You seem depressed and crabby.
Jake: No I don't.
Bashir: You do so. And no, I won't rub your shoulders!
Jake: Fine! Didn't want you to anyway!
Bashir: Okay then!
Jake: Glad you're happy!
Bashir: You should be!
Jake: Hrmph. Next thing we know, he'll be wrecking the plumbing.

Station Log: This loneliness thing kinda sucks. But hey, check out the low-heeled boots!

Lt. Commander Endar Alden: Greetings. I disdain you.
Kira: Wow, are you this calm and eerie all the time?
Alden: Um...yes?

Ezri: Can you slip away tonight?
Bashir: I'd rather go to Cardassia, to be honest, but I'm not going to tell you that.
Ezri: Well, pout. You're no fun at all.
Bashir: Yeah, yeah. I never asked to be the Designated Angst Character, you know.

Kira: I'm a little worried about this Endar guy.
Ezri: Oh, psh. What's he going to do, throw a temper tantrum?

Ross: Hey, here's a cool idea, Julian. Let's send you to Cardassia!
Bashir: Hey, gosh, that is a cool idea, seeing as I've been nagging you about it for two months!

Jake: Mope.
Dream Sisko: Stop moping!
Jake: Okay.

Alden: I get to command the Defiant! Score! Gimme the keys!
Kira: No.
Alden: WHAT? DAAAHHHH! I HATE YOU!
Kira: Just for that, you're also grounded!

Lintak: You suck!
Alden: Yes, well, you smell bad.
Lintak: Okay, that does it. Throw down, punk.

Constable Emyn Lise: I am a redhead. I am tall. I am tough. I will now disappear for the rest of the episode.
Kira: Whatever. Take Alden with you.

Kira: Dude, this Alden guy is terrible! What the heck was his recruiter smoking?
Ross: Oh, that's awful. Bye now! (click)
Kira: DIE DIE DIE!
Bashir: Agh!
Kira: Oh, I didn't mean you.
Bashir: Whew, that's a relief. By the way, I don't think Alden sucks.
Kira: Fine, you go hang out with him.
Bashir: Erg....

Alden: Boy, is this assignment a steaming pile of -
Bashir: Hello.
Alden: Oh. Hi.
Bashir: Hey, ya know, you could try being nice to people. Let's be friends!
Alden: Lemme think about it. No.
Bashir: What if I knock you over a few times?
Alden: Now yer talking!

Vic and Alden: Doo-bee-DOO, bop-ba zee doo-wop....
Bashir: There, you see? Isn't this nice? Too bad I'm leaving.
Alden: Well, don't palm me off on your girlfriend, whatever you do.

Jake: Hey, can I come?
Bashir: You're not going to get to the war zone and panic like you did last time, are you?
Jake: Who, me? Nooooooo....

Ezri: So, you're stuck with Alden?
Kira: No, you're stuck with Alden.
Ezri: Erg....
(WYCBT takes off at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

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