Home Prev 5MD: EPISODES Next Home

Five-Minute "The Good Race, The Good Fight"

by Nell

Quark: Hey, Kira. I haven't pestered you in a while, so...what's up with that new security chick?
Kira: I dunno. Maybe we should do a character development episode.
Emyn Lise: Well, it's about frickin' time!

Emyn: Whoa...I feel a flashback coming on....
Young Emyn: Time to display my long-lost playful side by tossing my friend into the river! *SHOVE*
Cardassians: Hey! Can't you read the "No Swimming -- Violators Will Be Taunted" sign?
Tana: Okay. Next time? Display your playful side on someone else, please.

Ensign: Hey, Colonel. Just wanted you to know that Shakaar is coming to visit you. Oh, and the Odo/Kira people are taking up arms.
Kira: Ah, the O/Kers. Very well -- go to yellow alert.

Moran: Good news! The Resistance is here, and we're all in grave danger of being caught!
Sona: Oo! I want the riskiest job!
Tana: No, me!
Emyn: Is everyone here completely stoned?

Bajoran Dude: Our Kai candidate is a unificateror!
Other Bajoran Dude: Well, ours invented the Internet!
Bajoran Dude: You lie!
Emyn: And they wonder why I don't get involved in this stuff.

Dav Mino: Fine. Throw me in jail. Dishonor an aged war hero with a troubled past. Ingrates.
Emyn: Hey! This is my troubled past episode! Shoo!

Gul Tovan: Okay, now you're all in BIG trouble.
Emyn: What did I tell you people? And do you listen to me? No! Curse you curse you CURSE YOU!
Tovan: Will someone knock her out before she bursts my eardrums? Geez.

Vedek Carn: My people, I am the best choice to be your Kai!
Crowd: Yaaaay!
Dav: No, he's not! He's bad! He's evil and he's bad!
Crowd: Oh, okay. Booooo!
Kira: Emyn, do something!
Emyn: Right after this flashback, mm-kay?
Kira: This isn't going to be an ongoing trend with you, is it?

Kail: I was publicly flogged in order to serve the Resistance! Isn't this cool?
Emyn: That does it. I'm obviously the only sane person within a Five-mile radius. Clever Plan Time.

Carn: I don't like your security officer. You should get rid of her.
Kira: Oh, please. After a character development episode this big? We'll be stuck with her for years.
Carn: Yeah, I know. Just trying to add to the angst factor.
Kira: It's into the red zone already, thank you very much.

Shakaar: So yeah, being First Minister kinda sucks these days, and I miss my farm, and I hear someone's trying to kill me, and hey, did I mention my bodyguard Rig is an ex-terrorist?
Kira: Same ol' same ol' for Bajor, huh?
Shakaar: Yup. More wine?
Kira: Maybe I shouldn't...oh, what the heck.

Dav: Disdain me, will they? Ignore me, will they? I'll show them. I'll show them all. Ha ha. Bwa-haha! MUAH-HAHH-HAHAHAAAA!

Rig: Great Scott! Was that maniacal laughter I just heard?
Kira: You! Protect Shakaar, whilst I do the butt-kicking!
Rig: Right on!

Emyn: You!
Dav: Hah! You've fallen right into my trap! Prepare to die, fool!
Emyn: Waitasec. You mean all this time you were after me? How does that further your political motives?
Dav: It doesn't, but it's more poetic, see?
Emyn: Well, give it up. You'll never defeat my steely concentration!
Dav: Unless, of course, you have an inopportune flashback right about...now.
Emyn: Aw, dang....

Emyn: Begone, cruel Resistance! You shall never hide behind my family again!
Dav: My my. A little theatrical, are we?
Emyn: Am not.
Tana: I hate you!
Emyn: Woe! Woe! A thousand times, woe!

Emyn: (sob) Woe....
Dav: Haha! None of your friends will save you n--ACK!
Kira: Take that, Vengeance Boy. Nobody yells at my security officer except me!

Kira: Whoa, hold it -- let's review here. I have a brooding CMO, a confused station's counselor, a bumbling Chief of Operations, and a first officer who's a few fries short of a Happy Meal, and now they're giving me an angst-filled, atheistic, embittered ex-traitor as a Chief of Security?
Quark: Gee, she sounds a lot like Ro Lar--
Kira: Shhh! We don't acknowledge Avatar, remember?
Quark: Oh, sorry. Forget I said that.

Emyn: Oh well. At least I can revel in the tragic beauty of being a woman that no one can forgive.
Dav: Hah! Well, I do forgive you! Nyah nyah!
Emyn: You're a cruel, cruel man.
(The station turns at Ludicrous Speed)


Previous fiver: ....And They All Fall Down
Next fiver: Visiting Privileges


Got a comment on this fiver? Contact the author, the author, Nell.

Site navigation:
___ Five-Minute Deep Space Nine
___ ___ "Season 8": What You Come Back To
___ ___ ___ Five-Minute "The Good Race, The Good Fight"

This fiver was originally published on December 14, 2001.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2001, Christy Linell.