Ball: Bounce bounce bounce.|
Wash: Woo, score!
Ball: Bounce bounce bounce.
Kaylee: Woo, score!
Ball: Bounce, bounce... gosh, this is tiring... bounce bounce bounce...
Inara: How's River?
Simon: She's okay, but she still won't tell me what they did to her at the academy.
Inara: They were training her to be a Starfleet officer, presumably. Duh.
Simon: Inara, we're not in the Trekverse.
Inara: Oh yeah? How can you tell?
Simon: You're not wearing spandex.
Alert: MEEEEP. MEEEEP. MEEEEP.
Wash: Oops, must've left the door open again. Lemme go check.
Random Dead Person Floating Around in Space: SPLAT!
Wash: Hey! It's supposed to be the firefly that gets squashed on the person's windshield, not the other way around!
Ball: Bounce, boun--
Ball: Hey, no fair!
Wash: Hey look, a random ship to go with the random dead person. Must be a special offer.
Book: We should go see if the other random people on that random ship are randomly dead too.
Jayne: I say we let sleeping dogs lie.
Mal: Nah, I wanna steal stuff!
Jayne: Okay, yeah, that plan's better.
Simon: I wanna go on the mission.
Jayne: But they're wearing space suits.
Simon: Oh. In that case I don't wanna go on the mission.
Mal: Okay, food on the tables, unfinished log... is there anything else we need to make it overly obvious that whatever happened here was sudden?
Zoe: Well, we could mention that everything was left turned on and the ship powered down on its own, but apart from that we're good.
Jayne: Simon, you have to come on the mission now. Here's your space suit.
Simon: Eek! I'm such a wuss.
Mal: What are you doing here?
Simon: Uh, Jayne said I had to put on this space suit and come on the mission.
Kaylee: Well, you don't need to do either. Also, that's not a space suit. You're wearing my bathrobe and have a soup bowl over your head.
River: I go walkies on spooky ship. Interrupt Mal's stealing of stuff. Cause much worry and annoyance. I rock.
Mal: Hey look, stuff to steal.
Hoshi Sato: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Zoe: What are you doing here?
Hoshi: I'm screaming at the grim sight of corpses hanging from the ceiling. It's what I do. Besides, none of you guys are big enough wusses.
Simon: Hey! I resent that remark.
Jayne: Man, the food in here is disgusting! Worms... saber-toothed dogs... an-- Oh. Oops. Wrong abandoned galley.
Psychotic Pre-Reaver Guy: Hey, at least you didn't mention leola root.
Jayne: Okay, I'm gonna have to shoot you for saying that.
Jayne: There was this guy, talking about leola root. I shot him.
Mal: I don't blame you.
Simon: Look, he's hiding in there. I can tell by the trail of bread crumbs.
Mal: Simon, that's blood.
Simon: Oh. Oops.
Mal: Hey, don't worry. Leola root is traumatizing.
Psychotic Pre-Reaver Guy: Ooh, infirmary... Reavers... Say spooky stuff... Reavers... Simon doped me... Reavers...
Mal: You know what this means, right? It was Reeeeeaveeeeers!
Simon: Yeah, I think we kinda got that.
Mal: But not with all the extra Es. Makes it spookier.
Zoe: Yes sir. If you say so.
Mal: Jayne, take Book back over to the spooky ship to say some prayers.
Jayne: But I'm scared!
Simon: I'm not. Wuss.
Mal: Okay, now that the others are out of the way we have to defuse this bomb that the Reeeeeaveeeeers left us. Kaylee, think you can do it?
Kaylee: Sure. Just have to cut the right colored wire and it'll all be hunky-dory.
Mal: Um, good?
Pre-Reaver Guy: Grrr.
River: AAAH! I'm halfway across the ship, but still, AAAH!
Kaylee: Hehe, fooled you. Now, should I cut the red wire or the blue one? Hmm... maybe I'll compromise and cut the purple one...
Jayne: We're back. Hey, what were you doing?
Mal: Nothing. Certainly not defusing a bomb, nuh-uh.
Jayne: Huh. Okay.
Alarm: Hehe, fooled you. What I really meant to say was MEEEEP. MEEEEP. MEEEEP.
Mal: Darnit Wash, can't you shut that door properly for once?
Harken: I am authoritative and pompous. Dock with me.
Wash: With you? Ew.
Harken: Dock with my Big Alliance Ship, idiot.
Simon: If the Alliance people find us they'll take River back to the academy. She'll have to learn technobabble and stuff! I can't let that happen!
Inara: I thought you said it wasn't Starfleet Academy?
Simon: Oh yeah. Oops. But still, academy equals bad! Anyway, I want to show what a wuss I'm not by hiding on the side of the ship.
Harken: Soldiers, fly! Search the land, search the water, search the sky!
Alliance Soldier: Sir?
Harken: Okay, just search the ship. For fugitives and loot and psychos and stuff.
Alliance Soldier: Loot, check, psycho, check... couldn't find any fugitives, I'm afraid.
Harken: Ah well. Two out of three ain't bad. You, evil pirate people! You're under arrest for not having fugitives onboard.
Harken: Well, I really wanted the reward.
Jayne: I hear ya dude, I hear ya.
Harken: So, you're a companion?
Zoe: No sir, that would be Inara.
Harken: Oh. Oops.
Harken: And do you love him?
Inara: Who, Mal? Well, that's a long, complicated sto--
Harken: I mean your husband, Wash?
Inara: My husband? Oh no, that's Zoe.
Harken: Zoe is your husband?
Inara: Would it harm my defense if I knocked you senseless for your stupidity?
Harken: So, you like dinosaurs.
Wash: Hey, some people juggle geese!
Harken: So you don't think Serenity is junk?
Kaylee: Hey, at least it doesn't look almost exactly the same as a ship from 200 years in the future.
Harken: Um, yeah. I guess.
Harken: Aren't you going to say anything?
Jayne: Hey, silence is golden. And I like gold.
Harken: So you're a preacher?
Book: No. I mean yes! Um, yeah.
Simon: See, I'm not a wuss! I'm stuck to the side of the ship in a space suit!
River: Simon, you stuck yourself on with superglue.
Simon: Well, I wanted to make sure my chances of surviving out here weren't just one in a very large number.
River: And you used sticky tape.
Simon: Yeah, but--
River: And then you chained yourself to it!
Simon: Okay, fine... I'm a wuss.
Harken: I'm just gonna accuse you of murdering the people on that ship and of splitting that psycho guy's tongue down the middle.
Mal: That wasn't me. He's turning himself into a Reeeeeaveeeeer!
Harken: Hmm, why don't I believe you?
Mal: Because he hasn't killed any of your people yet?
Alliance Soldier: Sir, that psycho dude just killed a bunch of our people.
Harken: Hey, you were right! Now I believe you.
Mal: Great. Now I just have to save your life and everything will be hunky-dory.
Simon: Ah, back inside at last.
River: Can we go again?
Simon: No. I ran out of superglue.
Psychotic Pre-Reaver Guy: Grrr, DIE!
Psychotic Pre-Reaver Guy: GAK!
Mal: There, now we're even.
Harken: Well, I'm gonna have to keep your loot to pay to get Reaver Guy's blood out of my uniform, but apart from that, yeah.
(The Big Alliance Ship destroys the Random Ship of Death at Ludicrous Speed)