March 30

[Zeke]

It's interesting. Being banned has such a powerful grip on the mind. It's almost like a python. It can squeeze out all other thought, suffocate all other emotion until everything is dead except for the rage. I'm not talking about anger. I'm talking about rage.


Zeke's Better Judgment: You're aware that this is completely idiotic, right?


Perhaps. The point is that being on the outside for a while is giving me a new perspective on things. I'm starting to think it's time to make some changes in the way I run this site. For instance, maybe I'm too personally invested in the staff and community. As we've now seen, that leads to conflicts of interest between --


Zeke's Better Judgment: Oh, I get it. You're publishing Sa'ar's "Conflicts of Interest (../b5/fiver.php?ep=conflictsofinterest)" fiver today and decided to do a stupid intro.


Oh no, I'm quite serious. I think what I need to do is fire everyone currently involved with the site and replace them with random people off the street, or maybe robots.


Zeke's Better Judgment: I hate you so much.

[Derek]

Oh no, I'm quite serious. I think what I need to do is fire everyone currently involved with the site and replace them with random people off the street, or maybe robots.
For. the. record. this. statement. of. Zeke's. is. completely. fictional. Replacing. me. with. a. robot. would. not. compute.

Garibaldi: Didn't you have a baby the last time I talked to you?
Lise: Yes, little Retcon. My husband divorced me and got full custody. He was right to hide her from me. If she could be turned...
Heh.

Mysterious Contact: Well, you can make the colours line up if you twist it like so and like so... hmmm... maybe like this and like that... no, if I twist it like... ARRRGH! I hate this thing.
Garibaldi: Usually by this point I started peeling the stickers off.
I used to do that, then I found a handy dandy tutorial (http://jeays.net/rubiks.htm).

[ijdgaf]

If need be, I can totally become some random guy off the street.

Really. Just give the word.

[MaverickZer0]

Oo! Oo! I know where to get robots!
...Actually, I am one. So of course I know.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Incidentally, this fiver was written in memory of Tim Choate, aka Zathras, who was killed in a motorcycle accident a year and a half ago. The delay is completely my fault, as is the fact that I forgot to tell Zeke to wait until I finished the Andreas Katsulas Memorial Fiver.