April 3

[Zeke]

One of the problems we BSG jihadists face is that people are stubborn. No matter how many times we drill it into them, some people just don't get that this show kicks their behinds. What's needed, clearly, is a Top 10 list! So here for your future BSGvangelical work is The Top 10 Reasons Battlestar Galactica is Better Than You (../top10/89.html). You're welcome.


Of course, this site hasn't been fully converted yet either. But I've gotten a start on it -- the Statement of Purpose (../about/purpose.html) has now been cleansed. Perhaps this, and the new graphics (thanks to IJD GAF for the forum one), will make it clear to doubters that I'm not just whistling Boxey here.

[evay]

Is Ron Moore going to submit five-minute podcasts which consist of him smoking an entire pack of cigarettes in one massive inhalation, and then cackling about how fracking awesome Eddie and Mary are? 8)

[Derek]

3. BSG is run by Ron Moore, whom you may recall from that time he died for your sins
Hallelujah! Praise the Moore!

2. It beats the pants off the other popular sf shows currently in production... all one of them
HEY! I completely resent not being able to make that joke....

Comments? Contact the author, Derek Dean.
...Oh wait, it appears I did.

[Zeke]

Frak. I've gotta PHP that section so those errors will quit happening (replaced by new ones).

[mark726]

If I refuse to abide by this new order, can I start my own five minute star trek site as a protest?

[Space Tree]

Boy, I picked the WRONG time to come back to these forums...

I mean, I haven't even watched a whole episode of BSG. Hope that doesn't make me a sinner here now.

[ijdgaf]

The church of RDMology demands you say 50 so say we alls.

[e of pi]

IJDGAF, shouldn't that be the TOS Galactica:

http://www.phoxim.de/gordon_brinkmann_galactica/gordon_brinkmann_galactica_01.jpg

, not the Ent-A (Forgive me Zeke). If you crop, edit, flip, and resize one like this, you ought to be able to whip up a more conformal avatar in half an hour or so.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

I still maintain the Dreadnaught/Battleship/Whateverit'scalled in Starcraft was modelled after that thing. Nobody else believes me.

[Lostoyannaya]

I'm confused. If this is FM-BSG, why does the heading above the list say "Five Minute Voyager"?

~~Lostoyannaya :wink:

[Chancellor Valium]

I can stay silent no longer!

Evil must be opposed!

[hangs self.]

GAK!

[Derek]

I still maintain the Dreadnaught/Battleship/Whateverit'scalled in Starcraft was modelled after that thing. Nobody else believes me.
Here's the Starcraft battlecruiser:
http://www.rpgclassics.com/subsites/starcraft/images/battlecruiser.gif

I think I've always compared Starcraft's battlecruiser to another computer game's ship: The Ur-Quan Dreadnought
http://starcontrol.classicgaming.gamespy.com/sc2/images/urq5_sc2.gif

But they're all relatively similar. (Well, okay, the Ur-Quan ship is green.)

[Naki]

I personally think it looks like the JX-359 Battle Cruiser from the series "Planet X"

(it was short lived, never made it past the 1st episode before being pulled because of questionable content. Think Zeke post questionable content.)

[Sa'ar Chasm]

I can stay silent no longer!

Evil must be fought!

[hangs self.]

The word is "opposed", not fought. And tuck your shirt in if you're going to be out in public.

*continues to harang Valium's swinging corpse*

[PointyHairedJedi]

I'm sure Leto II would heartily approve of all this, and so do I.

Down with the unbelievers!

[Nate the Great]

Okay, you've had your fun. Can we have the regular, NORMAL site back now? Seriously, even BSG gets stale after awhile. Not that I've ever seen it. I'm still in broadcast-TV-only purgatory.

[Ginga]

Okay, you've had your fun. Can we have the regular, NORMAL site back now? Seriously, even BSG gets stale after awhile. Not that I've ever seen it. I'm still in broadcast-TV-only purgatory.

[Sneaky-Ninja-Ginga!]There are ways to get to all the old content, so now that I've figured that out I don't really mind anymore. :wink:[/Sneaky-Ninja-Ginga!]

[Naki]

Same thing as Ginga, See the Ninjas can get to the good stuff. Do you know why? Because we're NINJAS!

[Zeke]

I'm confused. If this is FM-BSG, why does the heading above the list say "Five Minute Voyager"?

Revolutions take time. You know, we all want to change the world.

Okay, you've had your fun.

Are you suggesting that this is some sort of joke?

[whoiam]

We're all missing the point here. The other series were cast out from the 12 subsites of 5m.net... and soon they will return...

The only way to prevent it is to stop the subsite heads fraternising with the old content...

Or else you'll be driven out, with a rag-tag group of followers - forced to produce a fiver every 33 minutes or be exterminated by the forces of that which you once shunned...

[MaverickZer0]

Okay, you've had your fun.

Are you suggesting that this is some sort of joke?

I certainly hope so. Otherwise people like Xeroc are going to have to change things on their sites...plus the fact that the livejournal still says 5MV.

(Actually, I'm neutral. I want to see how far this goes.)

[richardson]

Who is with me to find the mythic plug, to stop this evil invasion! *Gets a hand-raise from Kirk, who he sends to illogic Zeke out of this madness.* :lol: :wink:

[Nate the Great]

Zeke, if you just chucked five years work down the drain with absolutely no way for us to rent the scuba gear necessary to find it again, you are even more evil than Zuke.

[Nate the Great]

Zeke, if you just chucked five years work down the drain with absolutely no way for us to rent the scuba gear necessary to find it again, you are even more evil than Zuke.

[Burt]

I still maintain this is a big old funny joke, that took way, way too long to produce, so everyone (and I mean everyone) will see it and laugh (Cry, etc) before it's taken down.
I meant, I hope, sirs.
I like Battlestar As much as the next guy (Probably more) but I am a Trek boy. It's like insulin to me. If I don't get several hits a day, I'm finished!
I do like the BS ship, though. Anything city-sized in space gets a tick in my book.

[richardson]

Chilling thought:

What if this is the evil LORD ZUKE in disguise, at long last beginning his new campeign of conquest?

*Shudders.* I'm evil, but not this evil... *Watches BSG once or twice to keep people away from him, while trying to decide what next to defend himself with... Kahns, or Kirk clones set for 'computer kill'.*

[Sa'ar Chasm]

The only way to prevent it is to stop the subsite heads fraternising with the old content...
Or else you'll be driven out, with a rag-tag group of followers - forced to produce a fiver every 33 minutes or be exterminated by the forces of that which you once shunned...

If I actually watched the show, I could probably come up something witty here.

As it is, I'll just wait a few more centons for the Official Five Minute Memo regarding the changeover, and then take the last functional subsite and an odds-and-sods assortment of fivers and go in search of the original site from which all the others sprang...

...which I will find in a followup series, coded in BASIC and featuring ANSI graphics.

Oh, and you'll take my White Star when you pry it from my cold, undead hands.

[Zeke]

Zeke, if you just chucked five years work down the drain with absolutely no way for us to rent the scuba gear necessary to find it again, you are even more evil than Zuke.

Scuba gear? Like what, this (http://www.fiveminute.net/index_o.html)? No way. You will have nothing!

[richardson]

*Bows again.* If only ze- wait, the hero of trek has returned!!!

*Drags over 5MV, and protects it on his own site, with massive legions of trek-warriors to prevent it's recapture by the obviously temporarily deranged zeke.* For middle earth!

Wait, that's not right...

For the Voyager!

There we go. Yodck, cover me! *Grabs the One Site!*

[mark726]

I still find it disturbingly coincidental that my roommate got hooked on BSG (and I mean hooked) the same day that this, ahem, 'joke'. Came out. I'm thinking we may be dealing with a wide-ranging conspiracy here to wipe out ALL known sci-fi but BSG. Zeke and my roommate may be only the vanguard. Be on your guard!

[Nate the Great]

Nice bit of scuba gear. Just hope I don't get the bends swimming up again.

[Lostoyannaya]

Zeke, if you just chucked five years work down the drain with absolutely no way for us to rent the scuba gear necessary to find it again, you are even more evil than Zuke.

Scuba gear? Like what, this (http://www.fiveminute.net/index_o.html)? No way. You will have nothing!

It's a miracle! A miracle, I tell ya!

...Does this mean the Fivers will still be late? Ahh, sweet nostalgia.

~~Lostoyannaya

PS. To evay - I liked the evil mirror makeover for TripHammered you did this week^^. Very...evil. :wink:

[evay]

PS. To evay - I liked the evil mirror makeover for TripHammered you did this week^^. Very...evil. :wink:
Thank you! :) I was also thinking about changing TripHammered over to StarF*cked (or StarFraked, I suppose) or Apolleaxed or BattleDamaged, but the sheer amount of abuse everyone on the show has taken in two seasons and a mini would fill up three websites.

[Lostoyannaya]

PS. To evay - I liked the evil mirror makeover for TripHammered you did this week^^. Very...evil. :wink:
Thank you! :) I was also thinking about changing TripHammered over to StarF*cked (or StarFraked, I suppose) or Apolleaxed or BattleDamaged, but the sheer amount of abuse everyone on the show has taken in two seasons and a mini would fill up three websites.

And besides, you have a quote for TripHammered, do you not? ^^. Yes, the abuse everyone took was awful...from the scripts to physical damage. You should do a damage quota of who's got it worse; Trip, Malcolm or Archer would be my bet :!:

~~Lostoyannaya :wink:

[admiral sab]

so is BSG like Trek? Cause I'm confused. I've never seen the show Battlestar Galactica and I have no clue what it's about. I know it's sci fi though. And who's Ron Moore? lol j/k. I think he wrote for Trek at one time, right?

[Lostoyannaya]

so is BSG like Trek? Cause I'm confused. I've never seen the show Battlestar Galactica and I have no clue what it's about. I know it's sci fi though. And who's Ron Moore? lol j/k. I think he wrote for Trek at one time, right?

Battlestar Galactica's original form was a movie released in 1978 about a series of flagships that contained the last in a dying planet's race; their mission was to locate a planet to populate. However, the Cyclons wished for this race (I think they are humans in the film, I can't remember) to be completely destroyed and in the aftermath of a massive attack, the Galactica is the only battlestar left.

The film was almost immediately followed by a television series that continued the storyline, and after the show was cancelled a new one ran in 1980. It was then re-vamped in 2003 as a new television show, amongst the contraversy that Starbuck had somehow gotten himself a sex change.

Although the original film was awesome....BRING BACK FMV PROPERLY!

~~Lostoyannaya :wink:

[Nate the Great]

Hear hear! :D

[Sa'ar Chasm]

The film was almost immediately followed by a television series that continued the storyline, and after the show was cancelled a new one ran in 1980.

The march of technology has not been kind to the series. When the Space network here in Canada ran it, they advertised it with the tagline "Who thought the future would look so much like the 70s?" It had none of the gritty drama that the new series features, but was overflowing with the campy cheese that infested so many television productions in the 70s.

Before Marc fived The Gun On Ice Planet Zero (that title alone should give you some idea what the series was like), I used to refer to Five Minute Battlestar Galactica as the last-ditch scraping-the-bottom-of-the-barrel never-ever-gonna-be-fived-as-long-as-there's-something-else...I've forgotten what I was talking about.

Anyway, I think that something like Earth: Above and Beyond is going to now be the mythical Last Fiver.

[MaverickZer0]

No, I think the last one will be Howard the Duck, probably because it makes everyone's eyes burn.

[Nate the Great]

Oh, please don't tell me that the fivers will ever end! Maybe if you insist that only sci-fi and similar things are acceptable (beside Shakespeare, video games, and other similar deviations), that still leaves a LOT to five. Maybe we could five Star Trek novels, too, or start caption contests like over at Sev Trek. The possibilities are endless!

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Maybe if you insist that only sci-fi and similar things are acceptable (beside Shakespeare, video games, and other similar deviations), that still leaves a LOT to five.

Hence why I prefaced "mythical" to the term Last Fiver.

[Ginga]

Just to let you know, this is actually freaking people out. One of my friends who absolutely adores 5MV talked to me at lunch today and asked me,

"Okay, I got on 5MV a few minutes ago... and... WHAT THE HELL!? WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!?"

I had to laugh and tell her that it started on April Fools', and then she understood.

But, needless to say, she seemed pretty panicked for a while there.

[ijdgaf]

It's not 5MV... it's 5M.net.

And it's not 5M.net... it's 5MBSG.

:shock:

[Sa'ar Chasm]

It's like 3M, only with extra innovation. And, like, netbags or something.

[Ginga]

It's not 5MV... it's 5M.net.

I know, I know, but it's a habit that's a little too hard to break.

[ijdgaf]

Yeah... I'm completely with you there.

[Zeke]

I suggest going to Japan. Since B and V aren't distinguished over there, you can call the site 5MVSG if you want. As long as you do it with a big smile and eyes shaped like carets (http://galactanet.com/comic/366.htm).

One of the early possibilities I considered (suggested by Marc, IIRC) was letting the V stand for something else. I rejected that when I couldn't think of anything suitable. Now that I've read V For Vendetta, I'm wondering if I should have done what Alan Moore must have -- that is, spend about five days compiling the world's biggest list of V words.

Oh, uh, go BSG.

[Lostoyannaya]

Oooh! Zeke made a link that didn't go to NC-17 material! Go Zeke!

And on the plus side...the Japanese can't use the letter "L".

~~Lostoyannaya :wink:

[PointyHairedJedi]

I suggest going to Japan. Since B and V aren't distinguished over there, you can call the site 5MVSG if you want. As long as you do it with a big smile and eyes shaped like carets (http://galactanet.com/comic/366.htm).
Do you do anything else than just sit around reading webcomics all day long? :P

[Naki]

I think we all know the answer to that, why else do you think he never gets anything done on time?

[Celeste]

Hehehehe, good list, Zekey. I especialy like the Disclaimer. :p

[MaverickZer0]

I think we all know the answer to that, why else do you think he never gets anything done on time?

Are you implying that people who read webcomics don't get anything done?
I resent that.

...Even if it's true, I still resent it, dammit.

[Burt]

You know I'm just never sure about updates. Ever since Tesco 'Improved' my favourite chicken curry, and turned it in to something un-curry like.
I just can't get past it; doesn't the new Battle-Star like a giant Hoover? It's like the updated Thunderbirds ships. There's no way I'm supporting that Thunderbird 2! And it’s not a time thing. You know, that I think everything older is better. I mean when I see Enterprise, I still weep with happiness.
But Vacuum Cleaner people!

[ijdgaf]

I'm sorry. But if you haven't seen the new BSG and are judging it on appearance, then you're bound to reach faulty conclusions.

There are perfectly valid reasons for disliking the new show. But thinking the old is better? Very few hold that belief (http://xsorbit26.com/users5/languatron/index.php?PHPSESSID=d49205e75c4e3302d2e021b14d9d64 ae&action=profile;u=1).

The new BSG is one of the very few remakes/updates out there that just blows the original right out of the water.

[Burt]

Oh no, you misunderstand. I was just talking about the ship itself, from what I see, I rather the older one.
But on that subject, I think I'm of the idea that, the remakes are very rarely as good as or better the the first. Take The Avengers, while I was gleefully happy of new Avengers, the (as Data put it) 'Flavor of the moment was lost.' I.e the actors couldn't be replaced - they made it, what it was. I find it's the same for most things. Doctor Who, while the remake is very watchable and well done, it lacks the flavor it used to have.
The only remake I can think of, that surpass them the first run, are the New Poirot - simply because of David Suchet.

[AKAArzosah]

Did I hear someone say 'Happy April Fools Year'?

[Chancellor Valium]

Oh no, you misunderstand. I was just talking about the ship itself, from what I see, I rather the older one.
But on that subject, I think I'm of the idea that, the remakes are very rarely as good as or better the the first. Take The Avengers, while I was gleefully happy of new Avengers, the (as Data put it) 'Flavor of the moment was lost.' I.e the actors couldn't be replaced - they made it, what it was. I find it's the same for most things. Doctor Who, while the remake is very watchable and well done, it lacks the flavor it used to have.
The only remake I can think of, that surpass them the first run, are the New Poirot - simply because of David Suchet.

Exactly.

[Keab4247]

2. It beats the pants off the other popular sf shows currently in production... all one of them

Isnt Stargate still in production?

[Zeke]

Yes, but I don't care.

And from the Things I Wish I'd Thought of At the Time department...

(or StarFraked, I suppose)

Kara and Will Riker? I don't see it.

[MaverickZer0]

Yes, but I don't care.



*gasp* Doesn't...care...about Stargate...!
Point me to the lynch mob!

[Chancellor Valium]

Yes, but I don't care.


::BURN HIM! BURN HIM!::
::Hallowed are the children of the Pah-Wr- uh, Ori!::