Ludicrous Speed

[Scooter]

Here's a question I should know the answer to. Does the expression "Ludicrous Speed" go back any further than Spaceballs?

[mudshark]

To the best of my knowledge, no.

Perhaps, though, this might be a candidate for the "Jokes and References" page.

[Zeke]

It might at that. However, for me, it doesn't even go back that far. One of my best friends from Grade 4 all the way through high school (the latter also being where I met Owen and SimonBob) was Roman, who had a number of quotes he would repeat at any excuse. "Prepare for Ludicrous Speed" was one of them. Through him, I knew that line long before I knew where it came from. I didn't even remember its use in Spaceballs till about a year into 5MV's life.

It's ripped off to a degree, but almost everything is. I think I've done enough with Ludicrous Speed to earn my own claim on it -- till the next guy comes along.

[Scooter]

I think I've done enough with Ludicrous Speed to earn my own claim on it -- till the next guy comes along.

Fascinating origin story. I like Ludicrous Speed because it's a reminder of the fact that we take for granted some truly amazing things in Star Trek, like warp drive. Plus the motif reflects the fact that every episode of Star Trek has the same damn ending...

We've come up with some great elaborations in the fivers though -- not only endings like arguing at Ludicrous Speed, nothing happens at Ludicrous Speed, etc., but my second favorite, Cliffhanger Speed, in which something bad is about to happen -- and stays about to happen long enough for the music to swell dramatically.

The new Dr Who is most egregious about this. On the other hand, TNG did cliffhangers pretty well -- I'll never forget Riker ordering Worf to fire and then getting that black screen with "To Be Continued..." Actually come to think of it TOS did well with its cliffhanger -- Kirk, weighed down with trying to understand his friend's actions, and walking out of the room at the end of "The Menagerie" -- that was the most touching moment in the episode.

[Nate the Great]

Not every episode ends with Ludicrous Speed. Putting all of the pre-Defiant DS9 episodes off to one side (they have an excuse) and all of TOS (ditto) you've got at least The Thaw. So there! :)

[Zeke]

There's also traditionally no Ludicrous Speed before a "TO BE CONTINUED," but I never set that down as a rule, so other writers don't necessarily follow it. (Another of my unwritten rules is that score jokes in VOY fivers, e.g. "Chakotay 1, Cardassians 0," always have Chakotay on one of the sides.)

[Sa'ar Chasm]

I tried to set the precedent that Babylon 5 spins at Ludicrous Speed (as opposed to DS9 turning). So far, apart from Derek himself only one other person has written a BFiver under my tutelage, so it hasn't required much persuasion on my part.

[PointyHairedJedi]

It was when you got out the feather boa that I realised it would be easier just to give in.

[Scooter]

In my fivers people tend to argue or fume at Ludicrous Speed, which I enjoy as a mental image...

[Nate the Great]

Since we're on a vaguely Spaceballs-related thread, anyone else still hoping that Mel Brooks makes Spaceballs II: The Search for More Money one of these days?

[PointyHairedJedi]

Not especially.

[mudshark]

I doubt that there was ever any serious intention of actually making that movie. It was just another installment in the running gag about merchandising, methinks.

[Nate the Great]

I thought Mel Brooks issued a press release like five years ago that now that the prequel movies were coming out that it might be time to make SBII:TSFMM now.

And remember, Spaceballs wasn't just a Star Wars parody, it was Trek, Alien, Planet of the Apes, etc etc. He could toss in the prequel trilogy stuff, Lord of the Rings, Back to the Future, etc, etc.

[mudshark]

I thought Mel Brooks issued a press release like five years ago that now that the prequel movies were coming out that it might be time to make SBII:TSFMM now.
Oh, that's right; I remember that (http://comingsoon.net/news.php?id=6547) now. Still, I have to wonder whether he was being serious when he said it. He seems to have missed his deadline by a bit, as well.

And remember, Spaceballs wasn't just a Star Wars parody, it was Trek, Alien, Planet of the Apes, etc etc. He could toss in the prequel trilogy stuff, Lord of the Rings, Back to the Future, etc, etc.
Haven't forgotten. (http://www.billpullman.org/film/spaceballs/spacemag5.jpg) ;)

[Nate the Great]

Yeah, that's the press release. It just seems to me that he would make so much money on SBII: TSFMM that it would be idiotic to pass up on making another cult classic.

You know, as long as we're talking about cult classics, how many movies do you know that people claimed were the best ever at the time, but are no longer considered that good? Titanic springs to mind immediately, but even Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings run into the diminishing returns problem.

On a recent crosscountry bus trip I suggested to my friends that we watch The Princess Bride. The approval rating was well over eighty percent. I doubt that Lord of the Rings would have gotten that kind of response.

[evay]

On a recent crosscountry bus trip I suggested to my friends that we watch The Princess Bride. The approval rating was well over eighty percent. I doubt that Lord of the Rings would have gotten that kind of response.
That's because LOTR is twelve freakin hours long. You have to be really devoted, or travelling from Maine to Alaska via Texas, to want to sit through all that at one clip.

[Nate the Great]

Yeah, I keep hearing people say that you need twelve hours to tell LOTR properly. My question is: why? Who says we need the 100% complete Tolkein experience? I tried to read the trilogy a few years ago and got halfway through Two Towers before I gave up. To many characters, too much description, too many parallel plots. Hey, I'll be the first to admit that the effects are awesome, but when you look at battlefields with thousands of soldiers in them, my major problem becomes "do I want to see thousands of imaginary people fight each other?" I'd rather have two armies with a few dozen each, if they were all real.

Bryan Singer made a comment in his X-Men commentary that in the scene where Magneto has usurped all of the cops' guns and is holding them all at gunpoint, some of the guns are CG and some are real ones on wires, etc. I can tell. The guns felt real, I could "see" their physical presence in the scene. That means more to me.

[Nate the Great]

Looks like Dave Barry is a fivist and doesn't know it. In a column (http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/5023564.htm) he summarizes Two Towers quite well. Definitely worth a read.

[e of pi]

Yeah. He does things like that occasionally, though this is the first time I've seen him do it in that actual format, and for a movie that actually exists.

[Nate the Great]

Hey, another Barry fan! Always glad to meet other followers of the Church of Exploding Toilets.

[mudshark]

Hawley Smoot.

[Scooter]

What a tariffic rejoinder.

[e of pi]

I suppose, given it all, there was likely to be one or two other Barry fans around. What would you say are your favorite of his columns?

[evay]

Yeah, I keep hearing people say that you need twelve hours to tell LOTR properly. My question is: why? Who says we need the 100% complete Tolkein experience?
You don't, necessarily. You don't necessarily need four hours for Jane Eyre either, but I like that version (BBC miniseries) much better than the shorter ones. There are shorter versions of the LOTR trilogy (animated and such) which you could also watch.


I used to read Dave Barry every week, but he started getting tired in the late '90's and repackaging old columns with a few sentences changed and not admitting it was a rerun. I enjoy his style of humor, but he hasn't had anything new to say in a long time. That Two Towers column is from 2003.

[Derek]

I used to read Dave Barry every week, but he started getting tired in the late '90's and repackaging old columns with a few sentences changed and not admitting it was a rerun. I enjoy his style of humor, but he hasn't had anything new to say in a long time. That Two Towers column is from 2003.
That's pretty close to my feelings as well. I'll read his column if I have a paper and nothing to do, but without a subscription anymore, those times don't occur much.

[mudshark]

About the same here. I used to find Dave Barry quite funny 15 or 20 years ago, or whenever it was that he first came to my attention, but I don't think I've read a new column of his in quite some time. It did seem to me that in more recent years, as was pointed out above, he's had a tendency to recycle or to just plain phone it in.

[Nate the Great]

Well, I still find him funny, but I guess that's because I really haven't read that many of his columns as they were in the papers. I read his books and own the vast majority of them. My local papers didn't publish his columns back when he wrote them regularly, so I rely on the books, which are of much higher quality. It reminds me of Erma Bombeck. I got to know her by her books first, and by the time I read some of her columns I could tell where she'd stolen the jokes from to make her books.

[ijdgaf]

Dave Barry spoke at my commencement address. The Rock was there as well.

[Nate the Great]

Okay, there's a juxtaposition for you.

[Zeke]

Oh, it was quite intentional. Because Dave Barry rocks and The Rock buries his competition.

What?

[Nate the Great]

Okay, backing away slowly...

Oh, and I hope everyone enjoys the new avatar. I don't think I've used it before, have I?

[AKAArzosah]

I don't think I've used it before, have I?

I guess not, cos for about five minutes there I didn't realise who you were.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Dave Barry spoke at my commencement address. The Rock was there as well.

I got a local author and a local senator. Both of them droned on and on and on for far too long, and so did the people introducing them.

I was starting to feel like an afterthough.

[mudshark]

Okay, there's a juxtaposition for you.
Unless you happen to have been in the vicinity of Miami.

[ijdgaf]

Indeed. Miami is the largest city (and seat of government) of Juxtaposition County.

[mudshark]

*watches Nate's head begin to smoke*

Norman, coordinate! http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g223/mudshark58/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif

[Nate the Great]

Juxtaposition in terms of they're two entirely different personalities.

[PointyHairedJedi]

I tried that once. I kept forgetting which I was suposed to be, though, and eventually the doctors twigged and threw me out.

[NeoMatrix]

Well, I saw Spaceballs 2 on the Hollywood Stock Exchange.

http://movies.hsx.com/servlet/SecurityDetail?symbol=SPCB2