May 5 (5MOC: Five-Minute "The Distance")

[Zeke]

<p>It's Cinco de Mayo, and you know what that brings to my mind: why the hell did I just hear fireworks go off? This is Canada. Victoria Day isn't for another two weeks.
<p>Seriously though, I'd be remiss if I let 5/5 go by without updating FiveMinute.net. And while my current busy streak won't be over for a few more days, I did recently take a little time to finish a fiver I started years ago. Allow me to explain. You all know Catalina Marina (or if you don't, you should); she's notable as the author of multiple fivers and a longstanding community member. In particular, she's just about the only OC fan around here besides me. Now, I promised Cat a fiver for her birthday a while back (as alluded to in <a href="../features/voyagers7.html">Voyagers 7</a>), so when I realized that the OC's second-season premiere mentioned a place called Catalina, I had the perfect target.
<p>After my usual fashion, I took forever; Cat has celebrated three birthdays since then. But like a goldfish, I never forget. (Or is that elephants? I forget.) And so here, at long last, is <a href="../oc/fiver.php?ep=thedistance">Five-Minute "The Distance"</a>.

[PointyHairedJedi]

I can honestly say that I tried to read it. I really did.



Ah well, Zeke. Nobody is perfect, not even you.

[Nate the Great]

Three years behind? Is that a record?

[Zeke]

It's definitely a record for this fiver.

[Nate the Great]

Jack Wirthing: Is that clever?

[Zeke]

I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can’t go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left.

(Nowadays, instead of "Is that clever?", we say "<a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=I+see+what+you+did+there">I see what you did there</a>.")

[Kristina]

You might consider moving to Sweden, where there is folly galore.

[Nate the Great]

Being clever is fun. I've found that there are just some people that you'll never gain the approval of, so you may as well toss off a quip and their expense. Why not?

[Tate]

Good fiver, Zeke. It almost makes me wish I watched the OC.

I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can’t go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left.
We have.

[Zeke]

For those who didn't catch it (or look it up), Nate's post and my reply were quotes from <i>The Importance of Being Earnest</i>.

[Nate the Great]

Your reply was an Earnest quote? I'm sad to say that most of my exposure is through the excellent Colin Firth movie. I have read the actual play, but not very often and not very recently.

[ijdgaf]

Haven't seen it. But Spidey 2 has been playing a lot on FX lately.

[Zeke]

It should be noted that those of you who don't read this fiver (or who stop halfway through) are missing the huge in-joke in the final scene.

[catalina_marina]

Whoa! You were right. I was pleasantly shocked. :D
I had seriously forgotten all about this, but I remember that I remembered last year. Something about not getting a fiver for last named birthday. :p


Seth: First I sailed to Catalina, right? And what did I see there but -- I kid you not -- a whole line of cats on surfboards! I think they had magic powers.

Whee! :D

[Nate the Great]

"It's the little old lady from Catalina!"

[Chancellor Valium]

I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can’t go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left.


*closes eyes*

Ah, the ineluctable modality of the risible.


Ah well, Zeke. Nobody is perfect, not even you.
Bosh! A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional, and are the portals to discovery.

[Nate the Great]

A man of genius also classifies his mistakes as security features and gets the heck out of Dodge. Half Dilbert, half me.