Block 11 - Because I believe the search is over [Archive]

Zeke

05-22-2003, 03:23 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo is back in his bunk, recovering from what he's learned. Morpheus comes in to apologize: he knew this would be particularly difficult for Neo, as he's older than the maximum "safe" age for liberating prisoners of the Matrix. (People older than this have been destroyed by the sheer shock.) Morpheus then explains about a man in the first days of the Matrix who was able to manipulate it to his will. When he died, the Oracle had predicted that he would someday return and that his second coming, now referred to as "The One", would bring about the salvation of mankind. Morpheus and those like him have searched for the One ever since; he did what he did (freeing Neo) because he believes the search is over. On that note, Morpheus leaves Neo, telling him to get some rest for his training.

Again, just one scene. Synopsis here (http://www.hackvan.com/pub/stig/scripture/matrix/13-the-search-is-over.txt).[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

05-22-2003, 03:40 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: im sorry
Neo: For what?
Morpheus: You were too old to free your mind
Neo: At least Im tall enough to get on the ride[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

05-22-2003, 04:18 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Someone Other Than Morpheus: Too old, he is. Train him, we will not.
Morpheus: Then I will train him myself.
SOTM: Hold your horses, Liam Neeson.

-------

Morpheus: The One will come again. He is the Saviour of mankind.
Neo: Next you'll tell me that he can walk on air and bring people back to life.
Morpheus: Ix-nay on the oilers-spay.
Neo: I'm hungry. Got anything to eat?
Morpheus: Just some bread and fish.

OK, I think I've bludgeoned that one to death.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

05-22-2003, 06:17 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Drat, it's probably too late to get in a "You must unlearn what you have learned" joke, isn't it? ;)

[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Neo, you are The One. A hundred years ago, the human race was enslaved and imprisoned within the Matrix by the machines. Yet even in the darkness of despair, there was a ray of light. For The One walked among us in those days, freeing many and bringing hope to all by means of unsurpassed hacking and martial arts skills.
Neo: What are you talking about? I don't remember what I did a decade ago, let alone a century. Where did I live? What was my name?
Morpheus: One hundred years ago, you went by the secret identity "Jet Li".
Neo: What makes you think I'm the same person as this Jet Li?
Morpheus: Jet Li was known as "The One". Your screen name, "Neo", can be anagrammed to spell "One".
Neo: Whoa, that [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] weird.*[/quote:post_uid0]

[*Brian Jacques fans insert your own optional Matthias joke somewhere around here ;)]

[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Why are you so sure I'm The One?
Morpheus: Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.
Neo: It's "One", not "The One", now is it? Maybe I'm One of Nine, or Juan, or one year old. I don't [i:post_uid0]wanna[/i:post_uid0] be the saviour of the world! It's too much work!
Morpheus: Did I mention that one of the fringe benefits of being The One is learning how to use really cool martial arts abilities and stunning filming techniques to your advantage in fight scenes?
Neo: ...Yeah, I'm The One, I'm The One, the one they call The One![/quote:post_uid0]
or, for an alternate ending,
[quote:post_uid0]Neo: ...Yeah, I'm The One, I'm The One, the one they call Jet Li's son!
Morpheus: That was disturbing.[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Trip

05-22-2003, 10:26 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: ... and so the Oracle predicted the coming of the One.
One: Wait... why do you trust this "Oracle" so much?
Morpheus: She predicted that I liked red M&Ms!
Neo: Really?
Morpheus: Well... only after I ripped open an M&M package she had lying in her kitchen, ate all the other colors, and prayed to the red ones.

I think that this scene should be short. Even if it isn't mine.

- Trip[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

05-22-2003, 10:51 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Just for Taya:

Morpheus: He was the One That Was. You are the One That Is.
Neo: And the One That Will Be?
Morpheus: Stuck in traffic.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

05-22-2003, 10:54 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: The One will come again. He is the Saviour of mankind.
Neo: Next you'll tell me that he can walk on air and bring people back to life.
Morpheus: Ix-nay on the oilers-spay.
Neo: I'm hungry. Got anything to eat?
Morpheus: Just some bread and fish.[/quote:post_uid0]

Oh, I liked that one. :)

[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Why are you so sure I'm The One?
Morpheus: Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.[/quote:post_uid0]

And that... :)

Let's think...

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I think you are the One, Neo.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What? Why me?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Well, Bruce Willis wouldn't take the part.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Neo, I think you are the One.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] The One what?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ummm... you know. The One. Just general One-ness. Like, don't let anybody clone you or anything.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] We have a rule - we don't unplug anyone who can't act.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] So why am I the exception?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Because, Neo... I believe you are the It.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] The It?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It was said that one day, the It would be reborn. And he would run around and tag all the Agents. With machine guns, if neccessary.

I am definitely going to have to think of something cleverer than that. Something that's actually funny would be favorite.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

05-22-2003, 10:58 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Why are you so sure I'm The One?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, yeah? Well, I'm switching my screen name to CaptPicard79.[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

05-23-2003, 01:35 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Neo: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm switching my screen name to CaptPicard79.
[/quote:post_uid0]

And a running gag is born.

[quote:post_uid0]I am definitely going to have to think of something cleverer than that. Something that's actually funny would be favorite.[/quote:post_uid0]

Good to see that I'm not the only one who suffers from this syndrome.

[quote:post_uid0]Neo: ...Yeah, I'm The One, I'm The One, the one they call Jet Li's son!
[/quote:post_uid0]

Johnny Rivers surrenders. *snicker* Morpheus is right, that is disturbing.

[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: She predicted that I liked red M&Ms!
[/quote:post_uid0]

I think the M&Ms have been done.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

05-23-2003, 01:46 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][/quote:post_uid0]
I like Trip's and Sa'ar's scenes (especially the last line in Trip's).

Also these of Standback's:

Morpheus: Neo, I think you are the One.
Neo: The One what?
Morpheus: Ummm... you know. The One. Just general One-ness.

Neo: Why are you so sure I'm The One?
Morpheus: Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.
Neo: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm switching my screen name to CaptPicard79.

This last suggestion is, well, just knee-jerk funny. You can't help but chuckle. :D[/color:post_uid0]

Kira

05-23-2003, 04:54 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like the Neo/One joke, but I think it needs to be more subtle. I suggest the following, with a dig at Keanu/Neo's intelligence thrown in for good measure.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] ... and then the Oracle predicted the return of the One. That's you, Neo.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Why are you so sure I'm the One?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I like anagrams. I hope I didn't overload your brain with all this.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Don't worry, it happens all the time.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

05-23-2003, 05:29 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"]Morpheus: He was the One That Was. You are the One That Is.
Neo: And the One That Will Be?
Morpheus: Stuck in traffic.[/quote:post_uid0]
Gah!

I'm sure you mean "Stuck in a coal-tar pit". :D

[quote:post_uid0]
Neo: Why are you so sure I'm The One?
Morpheus: Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.
Neo: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm switching my screen name to CaptPicard79.
[/quote:post_uid0]

*howls* I like this one.[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

05-23-2003, 08:09 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: He was the One That Was. You are the One That Is.
Neo: And the One That Will Be?
Trinity: The One that gets me coffee

Morpheus: I think you are the One, Neo.
Neo: What? Why me?
Morpheus: Well, the Oracle told me the One couldn't act.[/color:post_uid0]

Derek

05-23-2003, 12:19 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Is this scene really necessary? Seriously, it's short, it's backstory, it's not entirely relevant. I would think this scene could be omitted from the fiver.

That said, here's my thoughts. Play with them as you will.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] After the first One left, the Oracle predicted there'd be another One. That's you, Neo.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Wouldn't that make me the Two?

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] ...and that's why you're the Savior of all mankind.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Is that really true?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It is until [i:post_uid0]Reloaded[/i:post_uid0].

[i:post_uid0](^ I don't really like this one, but [/i:post_uid0]Reloaded[i:post_uid0] really changed the meaning of this scene.)[/i:post_uid0]

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I know your upset about being freed. We try not to free people after a certain age.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] It's not that. It's....
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] What?
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] American Idol. I [i:post_uid0]loved[/i:post_uid0] that show.

(or, for brevity, you could just have Neo say "It's not that. It's (sob) American Idol. I [i:post_uid0]loved[/i:post_uid0] tht show.")[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

05-23-2003, 01:48 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Derek"]Is this scene really necessary? Seriously, it's short, it's backstory, it's not entirely relevant. I would think this scene could be omitted from the fiver.[/quote:post_uid0]
Whether or not this scene was necessary before, we've gotten enough funny suggestions that I think it'd be a shame to leave all of them out. We should be able to keep it short, though.

I like Kira's alteration, but Morpheus's first sentence in his second line could use a bit of work, I think. A little [i:post_uid0]too[/i:post_uid0] subtle, you might say. ;)
Maybe something like
[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: ... and then the Oracle predicted the return of the One. That's you, Neo.
Neo: Why are you so sure I'm the One?
Morpheus: No significant reason, I just happen to like anagrams. I hope I didn't overload your brain with all this.
Neo: Don't worry, it happens all the time.[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Standback

05-23-2003, 02:40 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]I am definitely going to have to think of something cleverer than that. Something that's actually funny would be favorite. [/quote:post_uid0]

Good to see that I'm not the only one who suffers from this syndrome.[/quote:post_uid0]

I don't think you've got much to worry about on that count. ;)

[quote:post_uid0]I think the M&Ms have been done. [/quote:post_uid0]

Well, they're not really a running gag, since we never used them a second time. It could become one, but I don't think this is the spot for it.

[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Why are you so sure I'm the One?
Morpheus: I like anagrams. [/quote:post_uid0]

I don't know. I don't think that has quite the same punch as NAHTMMM's "Because Neo is The One with the O at the end."

Hmmm...

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I think you are the One, Neo.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] The "One"?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Yes. The last one was the L, the next one will be the Seven, and so on, until we put together the entire password and gain full admin powers.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] We think you're the reincarnation of the One, Reloaded into the Matrix in order to lead us in our Revolution against the Machines.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What, me, do all that? Can we at least put it off until the sequels?

Not fond of these, but if someone can spruce them up...

BTW - I recommend we try to avoid references to the content of the sequels (e.g. Derek's "It is until [i:post_uid0]Reloaded[/i:post_uid0]), mainly because I won't get to see Reloaded until Sunday. ;) But also, there will be spoilers (I believe there may exist a few single-celled organisms out there who are [i:post_uid0]not[/i:post_uid0] intending to watch the sequels), and also, they won't be evenly spread out - we went through the first ten blocks not knowing much about Reloaded, and we may see Revolution before this thing is done.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

05-26-2003, 02:27 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well... seeing as all has been silent for three days...

My vote goes to Sa'ar's:

[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: The One will come again. He is the Saviour of mankind.
Neo: Next you'll tell me that he can walk on air and bring people back to life.
Morpheus: Ix-nay on the oilers-spay.
Neo: I'm hungry. Got anything to eat?
Morpheus: Just some bread and fish.[/quote:post_uid0]

And to my own:

[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Why are you so sure I'm The One?
Morpheus: Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.
Neo: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm switching my screen name to CaptPicard79. [/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

05-26-2003, 04:56 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]My vote goes to Sa'ar's...And to my own
[/quote:post_uid0]

And I return the favour.[/color:post_uid0]

Kira

05-26-2003, 10:49 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I still don't like the screen name joke, and I think "I like anagrams" is way more subtle than the other way. And I really like Derek's "the Two" joke.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

05-26-2003, 11:07 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Kira"]I think "I like anagrams" is way more subtle than the other way.[/quote:post_uid0]
Although I'm rather pleased with myself for managing to come up with such a succinct phrase, I do think Kira's alteration was closer to being on the right track. But I still don't like "I like anagrams". It's too...unremarkable, too dry. I think something more elaborate is needed, even if it's just the addition of one word. Like

[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: I really like anagrams.[/quote:post_uid0]
or
[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: I feel that anagrams contain great spiritual significance.[/quote:post_uid0]
or
[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Anagrams are a hobby of mine.[/quote:post_uid0]

Oooh, that last one in particular might have some potential...[/color:post_uid0]

Kira

05-27-2003, 03:11 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Haven't you ever heard the phrase, "Brevity is the soul of wit"? ;) I really think the shorter punchline is effective, but that may just be me.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

05-27-2003, 03:21 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, yes, but "like" is, like, one of the most overused words in the English language, because people like to use it a lot. "Like"'s meaning has been watered down by so much use, it has a very, very weak connotation. It's like it's hardly there at times.

It may seem like I don't like the word, but that's not the case. I just don't think that "like" can carry that sentence on its own. The word "I" pretty much has to be in there (that's another overused phrase, "pretty much"), and something about anagrams has to be in there. And there should be a combination of added words and arrangement such that the result is funny in a subtle way. (Or should that be, like, "subtle in a funny way"? Probably.) To me, the mere use of "like" doesn't convey that effect. But maybe that's just me. ;)

(Edit) Or maybe the use of a transition at the start of the next sentence would work well. "By the way, I hope..." or something like that.[/color:post_uid0]

Saxamaphone

05-27-2003, 04:33 AM

[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, yes, but "like" is, like, one of the most overused words in the English language, because people like to use it a lot. "Like"'s meaning has been watered down by so much use, it has a very, very weak connotation. It's like it's hardly there at times.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]It's a fiver, not Charles Dickens', [i:post_uid0]A Tale of Two Matrices[/i:post_uid0]

(I just got done reading [i:post_uid0]A Tale of Two Cities,[/i:post_uid0] so I've developed a contempt for verbosity - but, look who's talking ;))

At any rate - the joke is effective for the very reson it dosen't appeal to you. The word is so used that it flows naturally off the tongue. The joke is natural, not contrived.

Of course, this is just an opinion - but I'm trying to be persuasive as well.

So, a vote for Kira's from me.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

05-27-2003, 05:16 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]I think "I like anagrams" is way more subtle than the other way.[/quote:post_uid0]

It is, of course. I just don't see "subtle" as having any great advantage over "ridiculous."

[quote:post_uid0]I think something more elaborate is needed, even if it's just the addition of one word.[/quote:post_uid0]

Not that I'm changing my vote or anything, but you could try:

[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Why are you so sure I'm the One?
Morpheus: Because anagrams are cool. [/quote:post_uid0]

See? I even cut the "I" out...[/color:post_uid0]

Kira

05-27-2003, 01:31 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Saxamaphone"]At any rate - the joke is effective for the very reson it dosen't appeal to you. The word is so used that it flows naturally off the tongue. The joke is natural, not contrived.[/quote:post_uid0]
Yes, thank you. The "I like anagrams" is intended to fly under the radar, as opposed to acting like a large sledgehammer.

How about this?

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] ...and after the first One left, the Oracle predicted there'd be another One. That's you, Neo.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] So what makes you think I'm the Two?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] No, no, no. Not the Two -- the One.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Whatever. What makes you think I'm the One?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I like anagrams.

Alternatively, since Derek pointed out that this scene was very short in the film:

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What makes you think I'm the One?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I like anagrams.

We could always use the Two joke later. I'm actually inclined to lean towards the shorter version.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

05-27-2003, 01:58 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Kira's version is fine, I suppose. It just doesn't really strike me as being all that silly. But then, I've been reading all these different versions of the scene, so it may just be a cumulative effect thingy. (Actually, I'm trying to picture it in its final context, and I think it would be amusing. I guess it *is* the context, then.) Standback's attempt looks good to me, too. Either one.[/color:post_uid0]

Kira

05-28-2003, 04:53 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"]Kira's version is fine, I suppose. It just doesn't really strike me as being all that silly.[/quote:post_uid0]
Not that I'm trying to toot my own horn or anything here, but the point is to be funny, not just silly. (Silly can be funny, but funny is not necessarily silly. ;))[/color:post_uid0]

Nan

05-28-2003, 05:47 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Kira"][color=#000000:post_uid0](Silly can be funny, but funny is not necessarily silly. ;))[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Message from Nan's brain:

IOU : 1 coherent response in this thread, payable after at least 8 hours to digest Matrix Reloaded. No more brain hurtiness!

~Nan's Brain[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi

05-28-2003, 03:34 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, there are already some good suggestions, but I'm going to make my own anyway:

Morpheus: You [i:post_uid0]are[/i:post_uid0] The One.
Neo: Hah! You think your Jedi mind tricks will work on me?

Or perhaps this (refering to the discarded Cipher joke from a previous block):

Morpheus: Neo is The One.
Neo: What's with all these number references anyway?
Cipher: Don't ask me.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

05-28-2003, 03:52 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]How about this instead:

Morpheus: Neo is The One.
Neo: What's with all these number references anyway?
Cypher: Oh, nothing.

Or this:

Morpheus: ... and then the Oracle predicted the return of the One. That's you, Neo.
Neo: Why are you so sure I'm the One?
Morpheus: I like anagrams. By the way, I hope I didn't overload your brain with all this.
Neo: Don't worry, it happens all the time.[/color:post_uid0]

Derek

05-28-2003, 05:17 PM

[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: Neo is The One.
Neo: What's with all these number references anyway?
Cypher: Oh, nothing.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]This is hilarious. Unfortunately, since Cypher isn't in the scene, I don't think we should use this, but perhaps we can reuse this for some exchange where Cypher [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] involved?[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

05-28-2003, 06:08 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]"Oh"... "Nothing"...

That's a good one, all right...

But I agree - it would probably be better elsewhere. When Cypher is doubting that Neo is the One or something.[/color:post_uid0]

ijdgaf

05-31-2003, 03:34 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Having skimmed this thread, I'll add my own version (though I've only read a couple of the others to see if my idea was taken...)

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I must apologize. Normally we don't free minds once they reach a certain age.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Then why'd you do it?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Because I believe you are [i:post_uid0]The One[/i:post_uid0]--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet!
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] --who will bring balance to the force.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I have a bad feeling about this....[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

05-31-2003, 04:57 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Having skimmed this thread, I'll add my own version (though I've only read a couple of the others to see if my idea was taken...)
[/quote:post_uid0]

I touched on the Anakin theme briefly, but I think you did a better job of it.[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi

06-06-2003, 03:45 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Just to get this thread kick-started again...

I like IJD's version if this scene better than Kira's - I'm willing to go with it as the final version.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

06-09-2003, 03:42 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hmmm. This may be the time to call for some Zekeful arbitration. Next... block... next... block... ::Enters zombie trance, wanders off somewhere::[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

06-09-2003, 07:54 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]:joins Standback:

In the chanting, of course, not the zombie-like state. I watched the first movie again a couple of weeks back and I wanta help with the next block before the memory of it fades from my mind...[/color:post_uid0]

Saxamaphone

06-09-2003, 10:58 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, I'd agree - but I'm not sure we're all agreed upon the final version - Kira's, or ijdgaf's?[/color:post_uid0]

Kira

06-10-2003, 12:50 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Saxamaphone"]Well, I'd agree - but I'm not sure we're all agreed upon the final version - Kira's, or ijdgaf's?[/quote:post_uid0]
I'd like to propose a merger to save some hassle. Â I really like the "Two" joke that I stole, but since the anagrams joke seems to be more popular, along with the SW ref....

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] ...and after the first One left, the Oracle predicted there'd be another One.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What makes you think I'm the One?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I like anagrams. Â I am certain that you are the One --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet!
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] -- who will bring balance to the Force.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I have a bad feeling about this....[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

06-10-2003, 03:07 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like Kira's version. I suggest a transition of some sort at the start of the second sentence of Morpheus's second line. I think that line sounds slightly stilted as it stands. I agree that this post sounds much more stilted up to this point. ;) A simple "Neo," would probably do the trick (and would also put "Neo" in the same sentence with "One", increasing the chances that the reader will spot the joke right away). But that's just a suggestion that need not be acted upon.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

06-10-2003, 06:48 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]That could be shortened to:

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Neo, since I like anagrams, I've decided that you are the One --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet!
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] -- who will bring balance to the Force.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I have a bad feeling about this....

This one I like... It works well. I still like the "With the O at the end" and the screenname joke, but those seem to be dead and buried by general consensus.[/color:post_uid0]

Saxamaphone

06-10-2003, 07:32 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like it NAH - it makes the scene flow better. Â Plus I'm always a fan of combining and recombobulating.

I'd go with yours Standback for it's shortness, but the why you do it - the anagrams joke loses it's effectiveness.

So, as it stands:

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] ...and after the first One left, the Oracle predicted there'd be another One.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What makes you think I'm the One?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I like anagrams. Â Neo, I am certain that you are the One --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet!
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] -- who will bring balance to the Force.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I have a bad feeling about this....[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

06-11-2003, 06:02 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, the reason I wanted it shortened is because I think it's kinda awkward as it is:

[quote:post_uid0]the Oracle predicted there'd be another One. What makes you think I'm the One? Neo, I am certain that you are the One --[/quote:post_uid0]

At the very least, the first line can be cut, since we're not using the Two joke.[/color:post_uid0]

Saxamaphone

06-11-2003, 07:09 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Point taken Standback. How about something like this:

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] ...and after the first One left, the Oracle predicted there'd be another One. I believe that is you Neo.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What makes you think I'm the One?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I like anagrams. As I was saying, Neo, I am certain that you are the One --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet!
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] -- who will bring balance to the Force.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I have a bad feeling about this....

Or, we can just go with what you suggested ;)[/color:post_uid0]