Block 13 - I know kung fu

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]As Neo continues absorbing martial arts, Morpheus arrives for the next stage of the training. He brings Neo with him into a simulated dojo with the same "rules" as the Matrix, and they spar to test his new skills. Neo shows exceptional talent (as the rest of the crew sees on the monitors), but can't actually penetrate Morpheus' defenses at first; with the right encouragement, however, he manages to land a blow. Morpheus then changes the scene to a skyscraper roof, from which he leaps to the next building (Ã la Trinity in the film's opening). He tells Neo to do the same, and while the new recruit gives it a real effort, he loses faith and plummets to the rubberized street below. Even though no one has ever grabbed the hat -- er, made the jump on the first attempt, the rest of the crew had gotten their hopes up and are clearly disappointed. After they've left, Neo is unplugged and finds blood on his lip; he's confused, since Morpheus had told him the Matrix wasn't real, but he explains that "Your mind makes it real." (See also "Things Past.") This means, as an added bonus, that death inside the Matrix means death outside it too.

Synopsis here (http://www.hackvan.com/pub/stig/scripture/matrix/15-morpheus-neo-matchup.txt) and here (http://www.hackvan.com/pub/stig/scripture/matrix/16-first-jump.txt). Aim for two scenes, three at most.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I really need to read ahead.


[quote:post_uid0]< Insert optional floaty fighter practice droid scene here, with or without a disbelieving Solo. All I can remember is "Your eyes can deceive you, don't trust them." >

Morpheus: [i:post_uid0]Wheeee![/i:post_uid0]
Neo: Whoa! No way I'm trying that. See ya. Computer, exit Holodeck.
[i:post_uid0](the door opens, on the rooftop on which Morpheus is standing.)[/i:post_uid0]
Neo: Oh, wonderful. Now I'll never get out of here.
Morpheus: Come on, Neo. Do it. [i:post_uid0]ahem[/i:post_uid0] Morpheus says to jump across the dizzying chasm.
Neo: Fine, I, I guess I'll try--
Morpheus: No! Do, or do not. There is no try.
Neo: I'm confused. Are you channeling Obi-Wan or Yoda? Here goes. [i:post_uid0]Whee[/i:post_uid0]--Oh crud, I'm doomed. Gak!

Neo: Ptui! Wha...? ...I don't believe it. I don't believe it.
Morpheus: That is why you fail. But also why you survive.[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*Sa'ar digs in the wastebin of discarded jokes*

Let's try this one here:

Morpheus: C'mon, my grandmother can hit harder than this.
Neo: All right, you asked for it. HAAAAIIII-wha? Why's everything blue?
Morpheus: You tried to do too many things at once and crashed the program. Touch your nose, eye and ear to reboot.

People: Stuff.
Neo: I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it! I'm king of the world! Woo-hoo! I'm gonna...oh, craaaaaaaaaa *splorch!* ((very tiny font)) Ouch.

Preceding lines and Neo crowing in delight as he leaps can be pretty much anything, but I'm fond of a very tiny "ouch" echoing up from the street below. Or possibly "Damn gravity."

On a more cartoonish theme (yes, the last one was cartoonish as well, and this is more cartoonish)

Morpheus: Here, you'll need these.
Neo: A tiny umbrella and a sign that says "Oops"?
Morpheus: See you at the bottom...I mean, other side.
Neo: Not helping.

Watching the fight on the monitors:
Random person: Anyone bring popcorn?[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Here's a scene that could be cut-and-patched into the final version:

[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Hurry up and leap over the insanely wide street to the top of this building already.
Neo: Yikes! Can I at least turn into Frog Mario first?
Morpheus: No.
Neo: Bunny Mario?
Morpheus: No.
Neo: Drat.[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: Defying the laws of gravity in the Matrix is easy, Neo. You can simply stroll out into thin air, like so.
Neo: Like this?
Morpheus: Yes. You just have to remember never to look down.
Neo: Never what?
Morphues: Look down.
Neo: Oh, sh--*distant splat*[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]^That's probably the best bit yet for this block. :D It's certainly shorter than my first attempt.

[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: [i:post_uid0]Smack![/i:post_uid0] It's easy to fight in the Matrix, Neo. Try it--take a swing at me.
Neo: Sure, no problem.
Morpheus: Ha, you missed! And you missed again! Hohoho, you're awful.
Neo: Grr, this is frustrating. Can we go do something else already?
Morpheus: No! When you can smack me upside the head, it will be time for you to leave. Until then, we stay here.
Neo: Can I at least go get a drink at that water fountain over there?
Morpheus: (turns to look) What water fountain? There shouldn't be any in this pro--
[i:post_uid0]Smack![/i:post_uid0]
Neo: Ha! Neo 1, Morpheus 1!
Morpheus: Grr... All right, you asked for it. On to the Broad Jump of Doom!

Morpheus: It's easy to defy gravity in the Matrix, Neo. Â Try it--stroll out into thin air, like I just did.
Neo: Like this?
Morpheus: Yes. Â You just have to remember never to look down.
Neo: Never what?
Morphues: Look down.
Neo: Oh, sh--*distant splat*[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: Yes. Â You just have to remember never to look down.
Neo: Never what?
Morphues: Look down.
Neo: Oh, sh--*distant splat*[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]That's eerie... you'll soon see why.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]That's eerie... you'll soon see why.[/quote:post_uid0]

Reading your mind again, am I?

This is the bit I was saving my Blue Screen of Death gag for. If it can be rewritten to make it funnier, so much the better. I wasn't in my best form when I posted it initially in this thread.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Nyah nyah, you can't hit me!
Neo: Oh yeah? [i:post_uid0](Punch)[/i:post_uid0]
Morpheus: Ha! Missed me!
Neo: No fair, you're not supposed to move! Take [i:post_uid0]this[/i:post_uid0]! [i:post_uid0](Punch-punch-kick)[/i:post_uid0]
[i:post_uid0]Rumble[/i:post_uid0]
Neo: Yikes! What happened? I'm frozen in position and I can't see anything except this painfully bright blueness!
Morpheus: Keep calm and wait. Somebody must have tried to print something. Just hold still until someone reboots our hard drive.[/quote:post_uid0]

With the option of tacking this on as an ending:
[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Well, at least I can still speak. Hey, I know! I can save us both from boredom by singing a song. "[insert some awful song here, like the Barney song or something]..."
Morpheus: AARRGH! That's it, you are so going to go down. Literally.
Neo: Eep![/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: Yes. You just have to remember never to look down.
Neo: Never what?
Morphues: Look down.
Neo: Oh, sh--*Neo Falls*
*Blue Screen Appears*
Neo: Whoa, saved by the blue screen
Morpheus: That can't be possible. You must be the One.[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Here's my first contribution. Â I like the [i:post_uid0]Titanic[/i:post_uid0] bit, so I used it. Â (The "Don't look down" bit is also good.)

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Neo, here is your next lesson. Â You must jump between these two buildings.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Whoa.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It's easy -- watch.
(Morpheus jumps the buildings)
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Who do you think I am, Superman?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I certainly hope not.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Well, here goes... I'm the king of the woooooorrrrrrllll-- (SPLAT! )
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] His landing could use work. What do you guys think? Â 6.5?
[b:post_uid0]Tank:[/b:post_uid0] 6.0. Â That [i:post_uid0]Titanic[/i:post_uid0] ripoff was terrible.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What kind of lesson was that?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It wasn't. Â I just thought watching you swan dive off a skyscraper would be funny.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey... I'm bleeding. Â I thought you said this was just a big video game?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It is. Â We just haven't cracked the cheat code for unlimited lives yet.

(To understand the Superman reference, go here (http://movies.go.com/features/supermania/reeves.html).)[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Neo: Well, here goes... I'm the king of the woooooorrrrrrllll-- (SPLAT! )
[/quote:post_uid0]

Distant splat. It has to be distant splat. This is a really tall building, and I think it's funnier as distant splat (but we all know my sense of humour operates on a different wavelength).[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][quote:post_uid0]Neo: Well, here goes... I'm the king of the woooooorrrrrrllll-- (SPLAT! )
[/quote:post_uid0]

Distant splat. Â It has to be distant splat.[/quote:post_uid0]
I concur. The distant splat [i:post_uid0]would[/i:post_uid0] work better if it were caused by a tall scrawny bluish bird dashing up to stand behind Neo (the story Neo, not our Neo ;)) and do a poor imitation of a car horn, but we'll have to make do with what we have.

Anyone else have any thoughts? Anyone?[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The response level in these threads sure fluctuates, doesn't it?[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Zeke"]The response level in these threads sure fluctuates, doesn't it?[/quote:post_uid0]
I guess the most obvious jokes (and some of them are obvious enough to get stuck in your head) have already been tried. :S About the only other possibilities that occur to me are
--Neo treating the road like a big trampoline and
--an Indiana Jones version of the skyscraper scene

I like the majority of the submissions so far. A not-so-lame version of my third-to-last post is possibly my favorite right now. Maybe something like this:

[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: [i:post_uid0]*Smack!*[/i:post_uid0] I'm going to show you how easy it is to fight in the Matrix, Neo. Try it--take a swing at me.
Neo: Sure, no problem.
Morpheus: Ha, you missed! And you missed again! Hohoho, you're awful.
Neo: Grr, this is frustrating. I'm getting thirsty. Mind if I go get a drink at that water fountain over there?
Morpheus: (turns to look) What water fountain? There shouldn't be any in this progr--
Neo: [i:post_uid0]*Smack!*[/i:post_uid0] Ha! Neo 1, Morpheus 1!
Morpheus: Grr... That's it, you're going down. [i:post_uid0]*Way*[/i:post_uid0] down.

Morpheus: For this lesson, I'll show you how easy it is to defy gravity in the Matrix, Neo. Â Try it--stroll off the top of this skyscraper into thin air, like I just did.
Neo: Like this?
Morpheus: Yup, easy as pie. Â You just have to remember to never look down.
Neo: Never what?
Morpheus: Look down.
Neo: Oh, sh--*distant splat*[/quote:post_uid0]
For a third section, we could finish up with either Kira's last scene or this:
[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Heheh, gets 'em every time.
Neo: Owies. Did that smack [i:post_uid0]*really*[/i:post_uid0] call for such painful retaliation?
Morpheus: Well, I was hoping to ruin your appetite too. A fresh shipment of red M&M's just came in today and I don't want anyone getting into my stash.[/quote:post_uid0]


I'm kinda partial to my SW version too, but that's just me. ;) Kira's and NeoMatrix's are also good.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I vote for my version of 14 July 2003, 11:01 (for obvious reasons) or for Kira's version (for slightly less obvious reasons).[/color:post_uid0]

[Michiel]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like your cartoony one, actually.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Or how about something like:

[modifying from several sources]

Morpheus: It's easy to defy gravity here. You just have to remember never to look down.
Neo: Never what?
Morphues: Look down.
Neo: Oh, sh--
Morpheus: Miss the ground, Neo! MISS THE GROUND!
Neo: *splat*[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Is it just me, or is it really, really quiet down here?







...









...









...










...



:very slowly, reaches for her gun and whips around expecting to see something behind her:

This gives me the creeps.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Either of the two Sa'ar last mentioned would be fine with me, as would a version of my last attempt. I would prefer mine or Kira's, since they (attempt) to take more advantage of the possibilities; but if we're on a pace to wind up with a tenner instead of a fiver, Sa'ar's version is good too.

That being said...
*drops a penny and comes back an hour later to find that the echoes still haven't faded away*[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]the penny's still echoing :)


i vote for my modified version, for obvious reasons, of course. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Here's what I got, seeing where the trends were going in the previous scenes.

Morpheus: How did I beat you?
Neo: You had the special moves and fatality codes?
Morpheus: No! Â It's all about freeing your mind. Â Didn't you download my guide to zen Matrix fighting? (hands Neo book)
Neo: "Crouching Morpheus, Hidden Matrix..."

Mopheus: It's easy to defy gravity here. Â (jumps) Â You just have to remember never to look down.
Neo: Never what?
Morphues: Look down.
Neo: OK. Â Oh, sh--
(SPLAT)
Neo: Was that a mind freeing thing?
Morpheus: You obviously didn't read the chapter on Flubberised shoes.[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Slightly off topic, but I can now clarify a minor mystery. You may recall that I said this Sa'ar scene was "eerie":

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"]Morpheus: Yes. Â You just have to remember never to look down.
Neo: Never what?
Morphues: Look down.
Neo: Oh, sh--*distant splat*[/quote:post_uid0]

Now that the AUW conclusion is finally online, I can explain why that is. See, there's a certain scene in the Buffy fiver which I'd already written when Sa'ar posted this....[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: I know Drunken Boxing!
Morpheus: Show me
*They fight*
Morpheus: Quit trying to slap me and slap me
*Big Slap*
Morpheus: Ouch!

Morpheus: Ok, now it is time for you to test your crash landing skills.
*He Jumps across*
Neo: I can do that
*Neo falls and crashes*
Neo: Did I pass the test?
Morpheus: With flying colors[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Now that the AUW conclusion is finally online, I can explain why that is. See, there's a certain scene in the Buffy fiver which I'd already written when Sa'ar posted this....[/quote:post_uid0]

Great minds, and all that.

Or possibly we're stealing from the same source.[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Whoa. I disappear for two months, and you guys stick to the same block? Well, at least I didn't miss much...

'tsgood to be back. Â :D

[b:post_uid0]Neo and Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] BAM! [i:post_uid0]POW![/i:post_uid0] [b:post_uid0]WHACK![/b:post_uid0]
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I can't keep up with you! How do you fight so fast?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] ...and [i:post_uid0]that[/i:post_uid0] was for [i:post_uid0]Bill and Ted![/i:post_uid0] And [i:post_uid0]this[/i:post_uid0] is for [i:post_uid0]Devil's Advocate[/i:post_uid0]! And [i:post_uid0]this[/i:post_uid0]...!

[b:post_uid0]Neo and Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] BAM! [i:post_uid0]POW![/i:post_uid0] [b:post_uid0]WHACK![/b:post_uid0]
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Good. Adaptation. Improvisation. But your weakness isn't your technique.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What then?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] You need to press Shift and Control simultaneously, and type in "NEO-RULEZ."

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] In the next stage of your training, I drop you off a humongous skyscraper.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sure, fine, no pro--WHAT?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] We like to keep our Saviors humble.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Now just don't look down, make the jump, and you'll be fine.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[i:post_uid0](distant SPLAT)[/i:post_uid0]
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] He looked, didn't he.[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Or possibly we're stealing from the same source.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I have never stolen a joke in my entire life.[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]From the way I hit it too before I even looked at all the previous entries, I say we're onto some universal font of knowledge here. A collective human subconsciousness.

Jung was onto something, man. "Don't look down."[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I liked Standback's first first bit, so of course I nicked it.

Neo and Morpheus: BAM! POW! WHACK!
Neo: I can't keep up with you! How do you fight so fast?
Morpheus: ...and [i:post_uid0]that[/i:post_uid0] was for [i:post_uid0]Bill and Ted[/i:post_uid0]! And [i:post_uid0]this[/i:post_uid0] is for [i:post_uid0]Devil's Advocate[/i:post_uid0]! And this...!

Morpheus: The next test is easy. All you have to remember is - there...is...no...gravity!
(Neo takes a run up then jumps)
Neo: Oh Holy Crappppppppp!!!!
*splat*
Morpheus: And [i:post_uid0]that[/i:post_uid0] was for [i:post_uid0]Point Blank[/i:post_uid0].

For those of you who have never heard of it, it stars KR as a maverick-cop type who goes undercover as, yes, wait for it, a surf-dude type on the trail of some bank robbers. Did I mention the sky-diving scenes yet?
I suppose the one reason [i:post_uid0]for[/i:post_uid0] watching it is so that you can imagine breifly that his chute doesn't open...[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I've seen it. It's amusing, but it's no Commando.

It's also called Point Break (not Point Blank).[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I liked Standback's first first bit, so of course I nicked it.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]As do I; I like this version. I'm always up for some Keanu bashing. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Keanu bashing is fun! :D[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]You know, those statements are somewhat redundant on a forum devoted entirely to fiving [i:post_uid0]The Matrix.[/i:post_uid0]

:eyeroll:[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'm taking a leaf out of Troi's book: the need to state the blindingly obvious.[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Okay, I guess we should vote on PHJ's version -- minus the FREAKING MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS. All in favour?[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]LOL! Yes Zeke, it does sound like a good idea :puts on her grey robe, turns on big spotlight only to turn it off again"

There. I've voted.

:gets strange glances from everyone: WHAAAAT?[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I vote on the condition that splat becomes distant splat, as stated earlier.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I agree with Sa'ar. Got my vote[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Whoa... this "wait-two-months-and-then-post-something-that's-just-as-funny-as-any-other-but-seems-fresh-and-new-because-nobody's-had-an-idea-for-weeks" bit really works...

8|

I'm in favor... I especially liked PHJ's "There is... no... gravity..."[/color:post_uid0]

[CNash]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'll vote for the drinking-fountain martial arts scene - and also for the *distant splat*.

But how about:

Neo: Missed...dang.
Morpheus: C'mon, stop trying to hit me and hit me!
Neo: Damn, missed again!
Morpheus: C'mon, stop trying to hit me and hit me!
Neo: Why can't I touch you?!
Morpheus: C'mon, stop trying to hit me and hit me!
Neo: ... ok, this is freaky now.
Morpheus: C'mon, stop trying to hit me and hit me!
Tank: Oh no, Neo made Morpheus crash...
Trinity: Again? How many times is that now?
Tank: I stopped keeping track a while ago. Ctrl-Alt-Delete...

It needs work, though, and I can't think of a good ending to the block.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ooo, one of my attempts got a vote. :D
[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: *Smack!* It's easy to fight in the Matrix, Neo. Try it--take a swing at me.
Neo: Sure, no problem.
Morpheus: Ha, you missed! And you missed again! Hohoho, you're awful.
Neo: Grr, this is frustrating. Can we go do something else already?
Morpheus: No! When you can smack me upside the head, it will be time for you to leave. Until then, we stay here.
Neo: Can I at least go get a drink at that water fountain over there?
Morpheus: (turns to look) What water fountain? There shouldn't be any in this pro--
*Smack!*
Neo: Ha! Neo 1, Morpheus 1!
Morpheus: Grr... All right, you asked for it. On to the Broad Jump of Doom!

Morpheus: It's easy to defy gravity in the Matrix, Neo. Â Try it--stroll out into thin air, like I just did.
Neo: Like this?
Morpheus: Yes. Â You just have to remember never to look down.
Neo: Never what?
Morphues: Look down.
Neo: Oh, sh--*distant splat*[/quote:post_uid0]

Either it, Sa'ar's short version, my attempt that came right after Sa'ar's short version, Kira's try, or maybe PHJ's block would be fine with me. Though CNash's is amusing too.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I still like the Keanu-bashing version better. :stands by her vote:[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Either it, Sa'ar's short version, my attempt that came right after Sa'ar's short version, Kira's try, or maybe PHJ's block would be fine with me. Though CNash's is amusing too.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]And people wonder why there was so much confusion in the last presidential election.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]And people wonder why there was so much confusion in the last presidential election.[/quote:post_uid0]

NAH's not from Florida, is he?[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]No, but I'm from St. Louis. :D We had a wonderful to-do downtown. One judge ruled they could keep the polls open late for those still standing in line to vote, another countermanded the first, and it was chaos. :smile:[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the American electoral system in all its glory.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I demand a recount! :D[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I quote Jay Leno:

"The Canadians just had an election in thirty days. We can't even count our votes in thirty days."

It seems to me that American politicians spend a quarter of their lives on the campaign trail. The primaries start in, what, February, the actual election is in November, and the winners don't get sworn in until January. It's a good thing the terms are four years long, otherwise there'd be no time to plot world domination.

This is why I look to unelected dictators for my world-dominating needs.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Glad I'm in Australia.

But... this is kinda off topic, isn't it?[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Why yes it is. You must be new around here. <g>[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]:howls:


Let's see if we can bust the thirty-day mark before the vote is finally done.


Or have we already done so?[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]It's been about a month and a week, yes. :smile:[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Wik![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]im ready for the next one. *sits and waits*[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]At least in this thread, we get back [i:post_uid0]on[/i:post_uid0] topic every time we get off. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]We do?[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I am semi-new around here, but I was actually just trying to get people back on track. I know the tendency for people to wander off, but i would like to read the complete matrix fiver some time before I'm 50.

It was worth a try...[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh, for Pete's -- this has got to stop. A month and a week, Frod save us... There was a version being voted on, but people suggested other things afterwards. Who votes to just stick with the voted-on version (PHJ's without !!s and with *distant splat*, IIRC) so we can all go home?[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I hope it doesnt come down to a Supreme Court decision, lol.

I vote for the version the one that Sa'ar wants[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I vote for the PHJ one.

And we're not going home until we finish the entire fiver, right? [i:post_uid0]Right?[/i:post_uid0] say so, Zeke, say so![/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]PHJ, distant splat included, with fries on the side, extra ketchup.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0]PHJ, distant splat included, with fries on the side, extra ketchup.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Same for me, but hold the mayo. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Okay, we'll call that consensus. New block tomorrow.[/color:post_uid0]