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Zeke
10-22-2003, 04:04 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]The next morning, Neo has breakfast with the others. What they eat isn't exactly pleasant: nutrient mush is the best the Resistance can do. While they eat, Mouse (a young, thin crew member) offers Neo a "special" visit with the woman in the red dress from earlier. The conversation is interrupted by Morpheus, who tells them to prepare to enter the Matrix. Neo is going to be taken to see the Oracle.

Synopsis here (http://www.hackvan.com/pub/stig/scripture/matrix/20-off-to-see-the-oracle.txt), one scene, bla bla bla, I'm so tedious, bla bla.[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
10-22-2003, 06:27 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: This is crap
Trinity: I risk my life every day so I can put food on the table, and all you have to say is that my cooking is crap? *cries*
Neo: Does this mean there won't be a sex scene later?
---------------------------------------------------------
Neo: Hey Morpheus, why don't you ever join us at the breakfast table?
Morpheus: Why would I eat this crap when I can eat a steak in the Matrix.
Cypher: Why is everyone looking at me?[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
10-22-2003, 02:29 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Several bits, thrown together:



Neo: Yawn, where's breakfast--[i:post_uid0]this[/i:post_uid0] is breakfast? Yuck...
Mouse: Oo, a chance to throw Neo for a loop before he fully wakes up!
Neo: Oh, no. Someone get me out of here already...
Morpheus: Good morning, Neo. I'm going to take you to meet a friend, the Oracle, today.
Neo: "Oracle"? Are you trying to establish that the Matrix is a metaphor for Microsoft and that you are a metaphor for the underdog competition?
Morpheus: Wha? Aren't you still half-asleep?
Neo: Well, I was until Trinity dumped a bowl of ice cubes down my back a minute ago.
Trinity: Hey, I wanted my own revenge for [i:post_uid0]Devil's Advocate[/i:post_uid0] too.[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi
10-22-2003, 05:55 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: Why are we having chicken for breakfast?
Mouse: Well--
Dozer: Oh, don't start.
Morpheus: Today we visit the Oracle in--
Neo: Delphi?
Morpheus: New York, you berk.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
10-22-2003, 06:27 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Mouse:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, good morning. I thought you'd appreciate starting the day with a little chat about sex and Tastee Wheat.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] All right, that association there is [i:post_uid0]seriously[/i:post_uid0] disturbing.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] No kidding. No more lines for [i:post_uid0]you,[/i:post_uid0] young man.

-----------

I also liked NAHT's take on Oracle. Perhaps:

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Neo, today I am going to introduce you to someone. You see, we have allies in our struggle against our evil, all-controlling oppressors...
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oracle and Linux?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Well, the Linux we're saving for [i:post_uid0]Revolutions.[/i:post_uid0]

Or even (if we are feeling particularly irreverant):

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Well, the Linux we're saving for [i:post_uid0]Revolutions,[/i:post_uid0] after Gloria Foster's dead.

----------------

I do apoligize if I'm over the top with either weird sexual associations or mocking the dead. Also, I know nothing in computers, so quite possibly the Oracle/Linux/Microsoft joke makes no sense whatsoever, and I'd never know it.[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm
10-22-2003, 06:34 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Odd...I logged in, but it didn't register. Enh.

Random thought that diverted me from my quest to obtain lunch:

Mouse: I can introduce you to the woman in the red dress. She has a new webcomic up.
Tank: Phlox called. He wants his hat back.

Possibly there's a Reboot reference to "Mouse", but it's a bit of a stretch.

OK, need food. Brain works better.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
10-22-2003, 06:45 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I checked Oracle's website (or at least one of them) before I posted my passage. They apparently don't sell operating systems (a la Windows), but they do sell business-oriented software and stuff (for both Windows and Linux), and there's enough of an overlap in the software there to justify a Microsoft joke at the least.[/color:post_uid0]

Derek
10-22-2003, 07:09 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Speaking as someone who stays current with computer news, Oracle and Microsoft are competing and, yes, Standback's joke works fine.

I've only come up with one thought so far:

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Ick. What is the goopy mess? No way I'm eating that.
[b:post_uid0]Dozer:[/b:post_uid0] Oh come on. What are you, man or mouse?
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] He's Mouse.

(or possibly, [b:post_uid0]Mouse:[/b:post_uid0] I'm Mouse.)[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
10-22-2003, 07:20 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Personally, I like PHJ's version. I'm sure there'll be plenty of opportinities for a good Microsoft joke later. -- Pteryx[/color:post_uid0]

Kira
10-22-2003, 07:39 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]There are two ideas so far I really like: the steak reference, and the pimp hat reference (without Phlox, since that may get old fast). So:

[b:post_uid0]Mouse:[/b:post_uid0] So Neo, I hear you really liked that babe in the red dress.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Yes, I did. What's your point? And why are you wearing that pimp hat?
[b:post_uid0]Dozer:[/b:post_uid0] Hey Morpheus, how come you don't eat breakfast with us?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Why would I eat this crap when I can eat a steak in the Matrix?
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] Why is everyone looking at me?

Hm... that's four questions in a row, so open to suggestions.[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
10-22-2003, 07:53 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Finally, one of my references is noticed :)

You can call that the Kira/Sa'ar/NeoMatrix version. I vote for it. Just as long I get some of the credit.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
10-22-2003, 08:21 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Perhaps that can be tightened to something on the lines of:

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] this disgusting glop?
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] No one knows. If you ask me, we should all just go eat steak in the Matrix instead.
[i:post_uid0](long silence)[/i:post_uid0]
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] What? Why're you all looking at me like that?

/me is less amused by the pimp hat reference.[/color:post_uid0]

Kira
10-22-2003, 08:50 PM
[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0]/me is less amused by the pimp hat reference.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh, come on -- how is a pimp hat (http://mywebpage.netscape.com/reefhimself/PhloxPimp2.jpg) not funny? :D[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
10-22-2003, 09:30 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]You'd be amazed. :D

It's amusing, but not as funny or as central as other jokes. So I don't want to get stuck on it.[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi
10-22-2003, 11:08 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I've just been struck by inspiration (or possibly a brick), so I'm going to have another go -

Neo: What 's for breakfast?
Dozer: Cokalash.
Neo: O-kay... I'll have a bowl of that then.
Dozer: No bowl, only stick.
Morpheus: Listen up - today we visit the Oracle in--
Neo: Delphi?
Morpheus: New York, you berk.

EDIT: Maybe someone could do something with a Mouseweather (Mouse+Mayweather) gag.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
10-23-2003, 01:26 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0](by the way, I think I liked Standback's take on Oracle better than my own. PHJ's is good too.)


A rearrangement of Kira's block:

[b:post_uid0]Mouse:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, Neo, how'd you like that woman in the red dress? I programmed her, y'know. I call her, "Minuet 2.0".
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, Neo, eat up quick. We're off to see the Oracle soon. Cypher, aren't you hungry?
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, even if I were, why would I eat this rubbish here when I can go eat a steak in the Matrix?
[b:post_uid0]Everyone Else:[/b:post_uid0] Wha...?
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] ...What? Did I say something wrong?


A twist on PHJ's:

Neo: Why are we having chicken for breakfast?
Mouse: Speaking of chicken--
Dozer: Oh, don't you start.
Morpheus: Good morning, Neo. Today we visit the Oracle at--
Neo: Delphi?
Morpheus: Gethsemane Street in New York, actually.
Neo: Whatever. I just hope that wasn't foreshadowing.


And another bit to throw in the pot just for kicks :smile: :

Mouse: How's breakfast, Neo?
Neo: Painful. I keep poking myself with this pointy fork. Don't you people have even a single spoon?
Tank: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon. Morpheus gave them all to some brat for some project.[/color:post_uid0]

Derek
10-23-2003, 02:56 AM
[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Mouse: How's breakfast, Neo?
Neo: Painful. I keep poking myself with this pointy fork. Don't you people have even a single spoon?
Tank: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon. Morpheus gave them all to some brat for some project.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Heh. I like it. I'd probably leave off the explanation and just end the scene with "there is no spoon" as that's the actual punchline.

Mouse: How's breakfast, Neo?
Neo: Painful. I keep poking myself with this pointy fork. Don't you people have even a single spoon?
Tank: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17
10-23-2003, 09:11 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like NAH's as well. "There is no spoon" has been a favourite tagline of mine ever since I watched the Matrix movie. ;)

Here's mine, also just for kicks, hopefully not directed at me.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] This is [i:post_uid0]breakfast[/i:post_uid0]? EW! Who cooked it, the Bar Rodent?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Close, it was Mouse.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Not nearly as hot as the chick in the red dress, I'm afraid.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Shut up, be good, eat your breakfast. Then maybe I'll take you to see the Oracle.


Or:

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I swear this breakfast is retribution for my past movies which weren't so good.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Which would be [i:post_uid0]all[/i:post_uid0] of them.
[b:post_uid0]Mouse:[/b:post_uid0] No wonder this [i:post_uid0]stinks[/i:post_uid0].
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Stop complaining and eat, or I'm not going to take you to see the Oracle today.

Gah. I wish I had something even the least bit funny to contribute, but sorry folks, not today.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
10-23-2003, 02:26 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yours are amusing, 17, they're just kinda clunky.



Neo: YUCK! This is horrible! Doesn't your chef know how to cook?
Tank: He said to tell you to consider this mush retribution for all your past movies.*
Neo: Wow, no wonder it's so awful.


* Alternate line for the forums ;):
Tank: Nope. He's too busy learning to dodge bullets to learn how to cook.[/color:post_uid0]

Anonymous
10-24-2003, 01:54 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Mouse: You know, this food isn't that bad.
Tank: Are you kidding me? I would rather sit down to a steak dinner with an agent than eat this sludge.
Trinity: Oh, like THAT would ever happen.
Cypher: (whistles innocently)

Morpheus: It's time to go see the Oracle, Neo.
Neo: You mentioned an oracle before but I still don't know what it is...is it shiny?
Trinity: (sighs) Let me see if I can put this in terms you can understand. Think of her as a living magic 8 ball.
Neo: Whee!
Trinity: But if you pick her up and shake her you won't get any sugar cookies.
Neo: Aw.[/color:post_uid0]

dsbs
10-25-2003, 04:31 AM
[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Mouse: How's breakfast, Neo?
Neo: Painful. I keep poking myself with this pointy fork. Don't you people have even a single spoon?
Tank: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon. Morpheus gave them all to some brat for some project.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I really liked this one, and the one by terek rall - remind me not to drink coke near the computer while on this site.[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi
10-25-2003, 02:36 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Maybe there should be a notice up on the front page - "Do not attempt to drink anything whilst looking at this site".[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
10-25-2003, 09:34 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]A slightly different take on TerakRall's:


Mouse: You know, this food isn't that bad. Though it certainly isn't as good as that hot chick in the red--
Tank: Stow it. And the food IS that bad. I would rather sit down to dinner with an agent than eat this sludge.
Cypher: You say that like it's bad. ...What? Did I say something wrong?*


*Alternate line: Especially if it were a steak dinner. Mm-mmm. ...Er, not that I would know anything about that, of course.[/color:post_uid0]

JobeGDG
10-27-2003, 01:45 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Another spin-off on TerakRall's…

Mouse: You know, this food isn't that bad.
Cypher: Are you kidding?! I would rather sit down to a steak dinner with an agent than eat this sludge… Which is something I have never done. Ever.
Everyone: …
Cypher: So, how 'bout that Oracle?[/color:post_uid0]

taya17
10-27-2003, 02:23 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Still like the "there is no spoon" one better...[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
10-27-2003, 04:43 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]My own take on the "no spoon" and steak bits, plus PHJ's Delphi bit in another scene:

Neo: Wouldn't a spoon be better for eating this glop?
Morpheus: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon.
Cypher: Forks are for eating steaks with, darn it!
Mouse: What're you going to do, ask an Agent to feed you dinner?
Cypher: No need.

Morpheus: Today we visit the Oracle in--
Neo: Delphi?
Morpheus: New York, you berk.[/color:post_uid0]

JobeGDG
11-01-2003, 09:21 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I dunno. I'm still prefer Cypher's awkwardness to no spoons.

Cypher: This food is terrible! I would rather sit down to a steak dinner with an agent than eat this sludge… Umm… Which is something I have never done. Ever.
Neo: Hey, wait a second—
Morpheus: Okay, we're off to see the Oracle.
Neo: Woo-hoo! Field trip!
Cypher: Phew. That was close…[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
11-02-2003, 07:30 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: This food sucks.
Cypher: I would rather have a sample of a nice juicy steak with Trinity in the matrix than to eat this crap.
Trinity: Sample This! *points gun at Cypher*
Cypher: Umm, I meant with an agent
Everyone: *Gasps*
Morpheus: Load up guys. We are going to see the Oracle.
Everyone: Yay!
Cypher: Phew[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
11-03-2003, 06:16 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like the steak with an agent joke. Lets hurry up and decide on this one.

Alternate ending

*Morpheus walks in*
Morpheus: It's time to take Neo to go see her.
*Morpheus walks out*
Neo: See who?
Tank: The Woman in the Red Dress[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi
11-03-2003, 11:48 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Another composite version -

Mouse: You know, this food isn't that bad.
Tank: Are you kidding me? I would rather sit down to a steak dinner with an agent than eat this sludge.
Trinity: Oh, be realistic. Who would do a thing like that?
Cypher: (whistles innocently)

Morpheus: Today we visit the Oracle in--
Neo: Delphi?
Morpheus: New York, you berk.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-05-2003, 11:19 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] this stuff? It tastes like airplane food from 1999!
[b:post_uid0]Tank:[/b:post_uid0] It [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] airplane food from 1999.
[b:post_uid0]Dozer:[/b:post_uid0] The [i:post_uid0]Nebuchadnezzer[/i:post_uid0]'s actually a souped-up 747.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Now that Neo knows that the Matrix is like a giant computer game, I'm taking him to learn the Secret of the Oracle.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Cool! I'm keen to go, commander!

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] this stuff?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Sorry about that. The replicator's on the fritz, it won't make us our normal breakfast.
[b:post_uid0]Tank:[/b:post_uid0] Yeah, it's like someone went into the system and deleted every single reference to eating steak.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-05-2003, 11:25 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]This one's too awkward to actually use... but I thought you'd get a kick out of it.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] We're off to see the Oracle.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] The wonderful Orc'le of Oz!
[b:post_uid0]Mouse:[/b:post_uid0] We hear she knows how Dozer goes, she's known every One that was!
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] If ever-a-wever a--
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] All right, that's enough.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17
11-06-2003, 02:54 PM
[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Now that Neo knows that the Matrix is like a giant computer game, I'm taking him to learn the Secret of the Oracle.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Cool! I'm keen to go, commander![/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]The freaky thing is that I [i:post_uid0]think[/i:post_uid0] I recognize this reference. I used to be hooked on that game...

... if it actually is the same thing we're thinking about. My memory fails me-- it was a long time ago, and I can't quite remember if there actually was an Oracle in it or my mind's making it up.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-06-2003, 04:23 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]There wasn't an actual Oracle in it until the very end. But "The Secret of the Oracle" is indeed the name of the game, and its been freeware since the day it was released. You can still find it easily on the net.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-06-2003, 05:33 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Seems to me like there are three main jokes running around in this thread (by all means, correct me if I'm wrong):

<ul> The Cypher-steak gag

The spoon joke

The Delphi gag[/list]
and lots of other jokes that shouldn't be forgotten, of course. ;)

I'm going to take a bit of inspiration from Pteryx here and do a scene for the steak joke.

Neo: Yuck! This stuff is gross!
Tank: It's all we have here. If you're really upset about it, you could always return to the Matrix. An Agent would probably come down on you within seconds, but if you're really persuasive maybe he'll buy you a gourmet dinner.
Cypher: Heh. Sure, persuasive's good. But [i:post_uid0]traitorous[/i:post_uid0] will get you a steak dinner.
Silence: ...
Cypher: Er, not that I have ever betrayed, say, Morpheus to the Agents for a steak dinner. Nope, never done that.


Now one for the spoon joke (this one's short enough we might be able to tack on the Delphi joke at the end):

Mouse: How's breakfast, Neo?
Neo: Painful. I keep accidentally poking myself with this fork. Don't you people have even a single spoon?
Tank: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-06-2003, 11:40 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]/me votes for the no-spoon joke.

Though I think the tagline for the punchline should be changed - [i:post_uid0]anybody[/i:post_uid0] but Tank. His intonation's all wrong - he can't be mystic.

::Looks around. Obviously no one has any idea what he's talking about.::

Or maybe that's just me.

::Wanders off, still humming "Wizard of Oz" tunes.::[/color:post_uid0]

taya17
11-07-2003, 03:11 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]The no-spoon one still holds for me. Although I think it might be better if Neo asks "Can I have a spoon?" instead. Shorter. Catchier. Looks like a--GGGAAHHHHH![/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-07-2003, 06:36 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]That sounds good. Just as long as he uses the singular. ;)

Mouse: How's breakfast, Neo?
Neo: Painful. I keep accidentally poking myself with this fork. Can I have a spoon?
Tank: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon.[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi
11-07-2003, 09:46 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]The steak joke does it for me. Call a vote already, Zeke![/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
11-07-2003, 11:05 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I agree. Call a vote.[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
11-08-2003, 01:24 AM
[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I'm going to take a bit of inspiration from Pteryx here and do a scene for the steak joke.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]You forget, mine also inclused the spoon joke; it used that to lead into the steak joke. -- Pteryx[/color:post_uid0]

dsbs
11-09-2003, 10:47 PM
[quote:post_uid0="JobeGDG"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Another spin-off on TerakRall's…

Mouse: You know, this food isn't that bad.
Cypher: Are you kidding?! I would rather sit down to a steak dinner with an agent than eat this sludge… Which is something I have never done. Ever.
Everyone: …
Cypher: So, how 'bout that Oracle?[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I really liked this one, actually.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17
11-10-2003, 12:53 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I can't believe we're taking so long to decide on one short and not very important scene! Since no-one seems to be taking count of the votes, I shall:

that's three votes for the spoon joke, one vote for the steak joke, and one for both the spoon and the steak joke.

Anyone else not voted yet? Come on people let's make this fast; this block has dragged on for so long that Revolutions has been released and we're STILL not done! Come on! Hyah! Chop chop!

:D Slave driving is evil. Snyeh.[/color:post_uid0]

JobeGDG
11-10-2003, 02:50 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Fine, then. I vote steak.[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
11-10-2003, 06:59 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I vote for <s>pork</s> steak[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-10-2003, 07:44 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Steak! You [i:post_uid0]fools.[/i:post_uid0]

I vote for PIE.[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi
11-10-2003, 03:59 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]You can have steak in a pie!

Mmmm, steak pie...[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-10-2003, 08:04 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'm amazed we didn't consider this option last block.

[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] You want me to betray my friends for a piece of steak?
[b:post_uid0]Smith:[/b:post_uid0] Actually, Mr. Reagan, we were thinking of offering you... [i:post_uid0]pie.[/i:post_uid0]
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] So you want I should deliver 'em frozen in carbonite, or what?[/color:post_uid0]

JobeGDG
11-10-2003, 08:18 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Okay, so that's three for spoon, three for steak, one for both, and one for… umm… pie.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
11-10-2003, 08:40 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Is this block confusing or what? The reason I left it so long without calling a vote is simply that so many versions kept getting proposed, and I didn't want to cut it off before you guys were done. There's been a lot of good stuff in this thread (I particularly like Standback's three scenes at the top of this page).

So the current vote is tied, then? Guess we'll have to wait for another vote. Maybe Ki will drop by.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-10-2003, 09:26 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Pteryx"][quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"]I'm going to take a bit of inspiration from Pteryx here and do a scene for the steak joke.[/quote:post_uid0]
You forget, mine also inclused the spoon joke; it used that to lead into the steak joke. -- Pteryx[/quote:post_uid0]
Well, I was just acknowledging that my slant for that block was based on this line:
[quote:post_uid0]Mouse: What're you going to do, ask an Agent to feed you dinner?[/quote:post_uid0]


Anyway, assuming the candidate for the Steak-n-Spoon-Together Party is Pteryx's block, I'll vote for that one. If it's somehow the pair of blocks in my post that Pteryx quoted above, I'll vote for them.[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
11-11-2003, 03:40 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]It just occured to me how to include Cypher's awkwardness in a variation on my version. If you don't like the succinct, low-key duplicity in "No need", then just replace that line with this:

Cypher: Uh, of course not. I'd never do that. Really.

Call this Pteryx-B and the original version Pteryx-A. -- Pteryx[/color:post_uid0]

Kira
11-11-2003, 08:03 AM
[quote:post_uid0="Zeke"][color=#000000:post_uid0]So the current vote is tied, then? Guess we'll have to wait for another vote. Maybe Ki will drop by.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]This thread makes my head hurt.

I've been home a grand total of ten minutes out of the past 18 and a half hours, it's currently 2 a.m., and I, sadly, have to get up early tomorrow and head to work. I'll come back when my brain resolidifies from its current state of liquid goo and give my thoughts on the chaos that is this block.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17
11-15-2003, 04:09 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Where are the Borg when you need them?[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-19-2003, 03:29 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]The tally, as far as my poor 9:30AM brain can tell, is:

JobeGDG: steak
NeoMatrix: steak
Standback: spoon and pie
taya17: spoon
PointyHairedJedi: steak
dsbs: Jobe's steak joke
NAHTMMM: steak-and-spoon
Derek: spoon
Kira: (gooey sounds)

And now I'm off to class.[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina
11-19-2003, 03:38 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'd vote, but this block confuses me too much.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-19-2003, 05:08 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I [i:post_uid0]think[/i:post_uid0] these are the scenes being voted for. Correct me if you were thinking of something else, voters. ;)

Jobe's block:
[quote:post_uid0]Mouse: You know, this food isn't that bad.
Cypher: Are you kidding?! I would rather sit down to a steak dinner with an agent than eat this sludge… Which is something I have never done. Ever.
Everyone: …
Cypher: So, how 'bout that Oracle?[/quote:post_uid0]

My spoon block:
[quote:post_uid0]Mouse: How's breakfast, Neo?
Neo: Painful. I keep accidentally poking myself with this fork. Can I have a spoon?
Tank: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon.[/quote:post_uid0]


Pteryx's original steak-and-spoon block (see a few posts above this one for Pteryx's variation on the last line):
[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Wouldn't a spoon be better for eating this glop?
Morpheus: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon.
Cypher: Forks are for eating steaks with, darn it!
Mouse: What're you going to do, ask an Agent to feed you dinner?
Cypher: No need.[/quote:post_uid0]


The steak block: Um, I'm not sure. Either PHJ's
[quote:post_uid0]Mouse: You know, this food isn't that bad.
Tank: Are you kidding me? I would rather sit down to a steak dinner with an agent than eat this sludge.
Trinity: Oh, be realistic. Who would do a thing like that?
Cypher: (whistles innocently)[/quote:post_uid0]
or my
[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Yuck! This stuff is gross!
Tank: It's all we have here. If you're really upset about it, you could always return to the Matrix. An Agent would probably come down on you within seconds, but if you're really persuasive maybe he'll buy you a gourmet dinner.
Cypher: Heh. Sure, persuasive's good. But [i:post_uid0]*traitorous*[/i:post_uid0] will get you a steak dinner.
Silence: ...
Cypher: Er, not that I have ever betrayed, say, Morpheus to the Agents for a steak dinner. Nope, never done that.[/quote:post_uid0]
or another one entirely.


My vote still goes to Pteryx's block (either version, with a preference for [b:post_uid0]B[/b:post_uid0] if it comes down to a tie).[/color:post_uid0]

Kira
11-19-2003, 10:56 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hm, forgot about this block. Anyways, I think both the steak [i:post_uid0]and[/i:post_uid0] the spoon deserve inclusion. I hate to suggest a scene this late in the game, but here's my version of how we could include both.

[b:post_uid0]Mouse:[/b:post_uid0] You know, this food isn't that bad.
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] Are you kidding? Who would eat this mush when you could have an agent buy you a steak dinner in the Matrix? Which, um, I've never done. Ever. ...So, how 'bout that Oracle?
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] ...Right. Look, it's really hard to eat this glop with a fork. Can't I get a spoon?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-19-2003, 11:16 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]That probably combines the two the most seamlessly. I'll vote for it.[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
11-20-2003, 07:33 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Replace "Can't I get a spoon?" with "Can I have a spoon?" and I can go for Kira's version. :) -- Pteryx[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-20-2003, 08:19 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'm fine with that (and I second Pteryx's modification).

Also, pie.[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina
11-20-2003, 09:05 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Me too.

Who said pie?[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi
11-21-2003, 08:05 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'll go for Kira's version.[/color:post_uid0]

JobeGDG
11-22-2003, 03:19 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like Kira's, too. Although I think Pteryx is right and Neo's line should be "Can I have a spoon?" or "Can I get a spoon?" I just think it sounds better, that way…[/color:post_uid0]

AKAArzosah
11-24-2003, 10:08 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]i agree with Kira's version too, but i think it should be 'can you pass me a spoon?'[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
11-25-2003, 04:36 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Okay, we're going with Ki's version with the slight tweak. Done. Finally.[/color:post_uid0]