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Zeke
11-25-2003, 10:25 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0](Hey, I forgot to give the Block 17 thread a subtitle! Dang.)

Before I start on this, about last block... I don't think we should be all that worried about how long it took. Remember, the previous two blocks went [i:post_uid0]really[/i:post_uid0] fast, so we're still making good progress. Also, Block 17 wasn't like the other slow blocks we've had -- it took a long time not because it was forgotten for weeks or something but because the ideas just kept coming. So let's not be too frustrated at how long it took. But let's not take that long with this one, either. :)

Morpheus and the group (all the [i:post_uid0]Nebuchadnezzar[/i:post_uid0] crew but Tank and Dozer) enter the Matrix. Morpheus, Neo, Trinity, and Cypher get in a car and head off to see the Oracle, the wonderful Oracle of Oz. There are some small bits here we can probably skip -- Cypher dropping his cellphone in the garbage for the Agents to trace, Trinity not telling Neo what the Oracle said to her. On the elevator ride up, Morpheus and Neo discuss the Oracle; apparently she made the prophecy about the One, and told Morpheus he would be the one to find him.

In the anteroom, Neo waits with "the other Potentials." Rather than potential slayers, these are little kids doing classic psychic stuff like levitating blocks and bending spoons. The spoon-bender, a bald boy dressed like a Zen monk, tells Neo the secret is not to bend the spoon but to realize the truth -- that there is no spoon. When he sees this, he will see that it is not the spoon but himself that bends. Neo picks up a spoon and has [i:post_uid0]just[/i:post_uid0] managed to bend it when he's called in.

(Just a little sidebar... anyone heard the old Zen koan about the flag? It goes like this: Two monks were arguing about a flag. One said: 'The flag is moving.' The other said: 'The wind is moving.' The sixth patriarch happened to be passing by. He told them: 'Not the wind, not the flag; mind is moving.'")

Let's say 2-3 scenes for this block. The synopsis is here (http://www.hackvan.com/pub/stig/scripture/matrix/21-there-is-no-spoon.txt), and it's worth reading because there's a whole conversation between Neo and Morpheus that didn't make it into the movie.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-25-2003, 11:05 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I don't count two-week votes, Zeke. ;) Ah, well. New block, and all is well.

[quote:post_uid0]
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hi, I'm doing a survey. What did the Oracle tell [i:post_uid0]you?[/i:post_uid0]
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I'm the Super Ohm. 'Cause, you see, when you scramble it all up -- well, anyway, I've got high hopes for you.
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] She told me there is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] She said that I--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Shush, Trin. Can't you see the boy's telling me about his spoon?[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Wow, look! There is... no... spoon!
[b:post_uid0]Spoon Boy:[/b:post_uid0] Very funny. Now give it back, will you?[/quote:post_uid0]

This is me at 1am:

[quote:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Spoon Boy:[/b:post_uid0] You must realize the truth. It is not the spoon that is bending - that's impossible.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] "Spoon" is fun to say. Spoon, spoon, spoon...
[b:post_uid0]Spoon Boy:[/b:post_uid0] ...there is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, but-- are you listening?
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Spoon! Spoon. Spooooooonnnn. Heh, heh.
[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-26-2003, 12:48 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Neo: I guess bending spoons helps you focus your mental powers, huh?
Young Boy: "Focus my mental powers"? What are you talking about? We sell these to the tourists as souvenirs to keep this place going.[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm
11-26-2003, 01:00 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: This is the Matrix? Looks greener than I remember.
((Or bluer. I've forgotten which tint goes where.))

Weird kid: There is no spoon.
Neo: Then what am I holding?
Weird kid: A spork.
Neo: Ah. *spork bends* Ow! I sprained a neuron.

((That kid's a boy?))

Morpheus: There were five before you.
Neo: What happened to them?
Morpheus: They burned down, fell over and sank into the swamp.

Possible Tick reference to Spoooooon!

Bah. My initial offerings are always sub-par, plus I always forget whatever brilliance I've dreamed up in advance.[/color:post_uid0]

Derek
11-26-2003, 03:12 AM
[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: There were five before you.
Neo: What happened to them?
Morpheus: They burned down, fell over and sank into the swamp.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]^ :lol: This is a great one.

Well, since Zeke already stole my planned Potential joke, I'll have to try something else....

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What did the Oracle tell you?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I don't know. Something something shanshu something apocalypse. I kinda zoned out and made up the prophecy about the One.

[b:post_uid0]Potential:[/b:post_uid0] Remember the important truth: There is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] That sounds like its liable to get me killed.
[b:post_uid0]Potential:[/b:post_uid0] I hope so. I'm one of the next ones on the list to be the One.

And just to beat a dead horse one more time...

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I can only show you the door. You have to go through it.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] And meet the powers that be?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] No, moron, the Oracle. Pay attention.

(So I've been watching a lot of Buffy and Angel recently.)

Anyway, my vote so far goes to Standback. I'm revising it since I don't like the anagram joke. Not that I really like my own, but here goes.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] So what did the Oracle tell you?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I would stop slapping people with fishes.
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] She told me there is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] She said that I--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Shush, Trin. Can't you see the boy's telling me about his spoon?[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-26-2003, 03:38 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: Hey! You've got lots of spoons. Could I have one?
Spoon Boy: You've got a lot to learn, haven't you? There [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] no spoon.
Neo: Hmph. You just don't want to give me one of your spoons. Meanie.



Neo: Could I have a spoon?
Spoon Boy: There [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] no spoon. It's all a government conspiracy involving cell phones, garbage cans, and chauffeurs who turn traitor.
Neo: What did you say?
Spoon Boy: Oh, nothing.



I'm going to do this next one just because I can. :p

Neo: Wow, you've lot a got of spoon--er--
Boy: Isms can be tongue-twisters. But I got tired of them and now twist a lot of spoons instead.
Neo: Yeah, you do have a lot of spoons. That's what I was sighing to tray--er...[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
11-26-2003, 03:42 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Personally, I think that Super Ohm joke is hilarious. But disregard me. I'm supposed to be impartial and stuff.[/color:post_uid0]

Kira
11-26-2003, 04:38 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I don't even [i:post_uid0]get[/i:post_uid0] the Super Ohm joke. But then, I'm tired.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-26-2003, 07:22 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]He's also the Peru Mosh. Does that help? :D

I'm wondering whether the block could be improved by a line from Cypher, something like:

[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I'd betray you all to-- um, never mind.

[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] She told me to keep away from steaks. Stupid Oracle.

[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] She told me that it's not that important to confirm every kill.

Ech. The problem being, I'm having difficulty finding one that's actually amusing...[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-26-2003, 07:26 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] Look. I am bending the spoon. Stand in awe at the Power of the Mind.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Gee, thanks. Any Agents come after me, now I can bend spoons at 'em.[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm
11-26-2003, 07:39 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]^ This is a great one.
[/quote:post_uid0]

You're just saying that because it's Monty Python.

Morpheus: You have to have faith, Neo. I have faith. Faith of...
Neo: If you say "Faith of the heart," I'm going home.[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina
11-26-2003, 02:30 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Personally, I think that Super Ohm joke is hilarious.[/quote:post_uid0]
I agree, it’s genius.

Not sure if it was meant that way, but I can't help thinking of 'resistance'[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
11-26-2003, 06:06 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="catalina_marina"]Not sure if it was meant that way, but I can't help thinking of 'resistance'[/quote:post_uid0]
LOL! A whole level of the joke I didn't see![/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
11-26-2003, 06:09 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: So this Oracle at Delphi --
Morpheus: New York.
Neo: -- whatever, she's going to tell me that I'm the One now? What did she tell you?
Morpheus: That I would be the one to find the One.
Neo: My head hurts.


Spoon Boy: Realize the truth.
Neo: The truth?
Spoon Boy: That there is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon Boy: Please stop echoing everything I say minus one word as a question.
Neo: Stop echoing everything you say minus one word as a question?[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-26-2003, 09:46 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]LOL! A whole level of the joke I didn't see! [/quote:post_uid0]

You see, whenever my literature teachers go on about the author's O-so-subtle hints, it's these kind of incidents I remember. :)

But I'm glad the joke is appreciated.

I liked Pteryx's Spoon Boy block above. Pteryx - any particular reason you're holding onto your "guest" status so avidly? We definitely want to see more of you around. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
11-27-2003, 05:23 AM
[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]But I'm glad the joke is appreciated.[/quote:post_uid0]

Count me in as someone else who really likes the Super Ohm joke, BTW! I just tossed my original version of that block up because I felt it'd be good to get more ideas out at this stage. :) Standback's joke also happens to fit nicely with Morpheus's "I like anagrams" line much earlier in the fiver.

[quote:post_uid0]I liked Pteryx's Spoon Boy block above. Pteryx - any particular reason you're holding onto your "guest" status so avidly? We definitely want to see more of you around. ;)[/quote:post_uid0]

Why, thank you on both counts! :) As for why I haven't registered... well, I haven't seen a real reason to. Any particular benefits to it aside from getting an avatar and being able to edit your own posts? -- Pteryx[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
11-27-2003, 05:32 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: Hi, I'm doing a survey. What did the Oracle tell [i:post_uid0]you?[/i:post_uid0]
Morpheus: She told me I'm the Super Ohm. 'Cause, you see, when you scramble it all up -- well, anyway, I've got high hopes for you.
Cypher: She said I was a nothing! Can you believe that?!
Trinity: She said that I--
Neo: Hey, my favorite noodle house![/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-27-2003, 08:51 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]As for why I haven't registered... well, I haven't seen a real reason to. Any particular benefits to it aside from getting an avatar and being able to edit your own posts? [/quote:post_uid0]

Well... nothing overly major... The color scheme's nicer, you can see more easily which posts are new and which you've already read... And being able to edit your posts is actually a major plus for me. It's mainly the feeling of some sort of distinction between "yeah, that guy's a member" and "oh, he's a guest." :)[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina
11-27-2003, 09:14 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]And certain people can put a title just below your name. I'm not sure whether that's a plus or a minus, but still. :p[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-27-2003, 12:59 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0](Hey, I forgot to give the Block 17 thread a subtitle! Dang.)[/quote:post_uid0]

Block 18 as well, I believe. Whoops. :p[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
11-27-2003, 03:53 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: Only I can show you the door, you must walk through it
Neo: Are you afraid of doors?
Morpheus: Yes, the last one I opened had an agent on the other side
Neo: Never pick door #3

Boy: First, you must realize the truth.
Neo: What?
Boy: There is no spoon
Neo: But you are holding the spoon in your right hand
Girl: *Throws a block at Neo*
--------------------------------------------------

Boy: There is no spoon
Neo: Can I use that same logic and say there is no bullet?
Boy: Why you ask?
Neo: Because I have this feeling I am going to open the door with the agent.
Boy: Oh. Then maybe you should start kicking down doors instead[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-27-2003, 06:24 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Nice ones, Neo! Allow me to touch them up a little bit:

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I can only show you the door. You have to step through it yourself?
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Why can't [i:post_uid0]you[/i:post_uid0] step through the door?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Well, there might be an Agent or something on the other side.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oh.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Remember, Neo - [i:post_uid0]never[/i:post_uid0] pick what's behind Door #3.

[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] First, you must realize the truth.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What truth?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] There is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Yes there is! It's right there in your hand!
[b:post_uid0]Girl:[/b:post_uid0] **slams floating blocks into Neo's head**[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-27-2003, 06:28 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]
As for why I haven't registered... well, I haven't seen a real reason to. Any particular benefits to it aside from getting an avatar and being able to edit your own posts? [/quote:post_uid0]

And how could I forget? You get a wonderful, glorious sig!

No forumgoer is truly complete until he has a shiny new sig. :D[/color:post_uid0]

Saxamaphone
11-27-2003, 10:52 PM
[quote:post_uid0="Zeke"][color=#000000:post_uid0]((Just a little sidebar... anyone heard the old Zen koan about the flag? It goes like this: Two monks were arguing about a flag. One said: 'The flag is moving.' The other said: 'The wind is moving.' The sixth patriarch happened to be passing by. He told them: 'Not the wind, not the flag; mind is moving.'")[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]BTW - Zeke, we did that Zen koen in Philosophy class about a month ago, and this scene was the first thing I thought of :)

Again - I'm going to do some cut and pasting of these - see what I can come up with...

Neo: What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me I'm the Super Ohm. See why I like anagrams?
Cypher: She said I was a nothing!
Trinity: She said that I--
Neo: Hey, my favorite noodle house!

Boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: You have any Ramen Noodles to go with that spoon?
Boy: There are no noodles.
Morpheus: Not spoon, not soup, stomach is turning! Enough with the noodles!
Neo: Oh, quit being such a wet noodle.

(This could also work well with a line borrowed from the Oracle in the next scene "This is what's really gonna bake your noodle...")[/color:post_uid0]

taya17
11-29-2003, 05:38 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Standback"][b:post_uid0]Spoon Boy:[/b:post_uid0] You must realize the truth. It is not the spoon that is bending - that's impossible.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] "Spoon" is fun to say. Spoon, spoon, spoon...
[b:post_uid0]Spoon Boy:[/b:post_uid0] ...there is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, but-- are you listening?
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Spoon! Spoon. Spooooooonnnn. Heh, heh.[/quote:post_uid0]
This one had me in stitches, although honestly I do not know why.

And plagiarizing from Sa'ar's to make a completely pointless joke which no-one else will get,

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus: [/b:post_uid0]There were five before you.
[b:post_uid0]Neo: [/b:post_uid0]What happened to them?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus: [/b:post_uid0]The first one blew up, the second one blew up, the third one was destroyed, the fourth one was stolen back in time....
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] That track record does not bode well for me.[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm
11-29-2003, 06:36 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]And plagiarizing from Sa'ar's to make a completely pointless joke which no-one else will get,
[/quote:post_uid0]

Way ahead of you on that one, darling.

"All the other races said we were daft to build a space station in that sector, but we built it anyway. It blew up. We built a second one! It blew up too, so we built a third one. It lost pressure, crashed into the planet and then blew up. But the fourth one stayed up! Until it vanished without a trace."

Hmm...
Morpheus: All the other supplicants said I was daft to anoint that guy The One, but I anointed him anyway. He got killed by an Agent, so I anointed a second one. He got killed by an Agent. I anointed a third one. He tripped over his own shoelaces, caught his lips in a mousetrap and then got killed by an Agent.
Neo: And the fourth one?
Morpheus: You don't want to know.[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi
11-29-2003, 10:27 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me I'm the Super Ohm. See why I like anagrams?
Trinity: She said that I--
Neo: Hey, my favorite noodle house!

Neo: What about the five before me? Why did they fail?
Morpheus: They were not cool enough. You see Neo, a One that is not cool is hardly a One at all.

Boy: So you see, the spoon isn't really there at all.
Neo: Err....that's a knife, not a spoon.
Boy: I see you've played knifey-spoony before, mate.[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
11-29-2003, 07:13 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Personally, I'd prefer it if there were only two blocks (some version of the "What did the Oracle tell you?" block and some Spoon Boy block or another)... but just in case we vote in favor of three block instead, I offer this:

Neo: What did you just say, Morpheus?
Morpheus: What? I didn't say anything.
Neo: Yes you did! I distinctly remember you saying something about there being five Ones before.
Morpheus: *sigh* Have you been reading early versions of the script again?

Hope this helps. :) -- Pteryx[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-29-2003, 09:47 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: If you had five Ones before me, then what happened to them all?
Morpheus: Well, see, I was at a vending machine one day, and there was this guy there, and he was desperately trying to get change for a Five...



(Edit) Oh, here's another bad one...

Neo: Wow, how are you able to keep those blocks floating in the air like that?
Girl: I took all of their gravitational Potential energy.[/color:post_uid0]

Saxamaphone
11-29-2003, 10:08 PM
[quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Boy: So you see, the spoon isn't really there at all.
Neo: Err....that's a knife, not a spoon.
Boy: I see you've played knifey-spoony before, mate.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]This contest is over! Give that man the $10,000!

I agree with Pteryx in there only being two blocks here (remember, not [i:post_uid0]every[/i:post_uid0] scene has to be fived ;) )

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What did the Oracle tell you?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I'm the Super Ohm. See why I like anagrams?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] She said that I--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, my favorite noodle house!

[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] So you see, there is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Err-- that's a knife, not a spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] I see you've played Knifey-Spoony before, mate.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-29-2003, 11:30 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Come on, Sax - how can we [i:post_uid0]possibly[/i:post_uid0] skip over the dramatic scene of Cypher dropping his cellphone in the trash? I suggest:

[b:post_uid0]Cypher's Cellphone:[/b:post_uid0] Plop.
[b:post_uid0]FBC Writers and Assorted Lunatics:[/b:post_uid0] Also, nothing! Ha! Get it? Nothing!

And on a more serious note - kind of oxymoronical, given the context - the reason I stuck the Spoon Kid into the first block ("Boy: She told me there is no spoon.") was in order to create the sense of a whole bunch of answers - the Rule of Three (to those not familiar with writing and plot terms - once is meaningless, two is coincidence, three is a rule.)

My point here is that without either the Boy or someone else answering, Trinity sounds as if she's butting into Neo and Morpheus's conversation rather than answering Neo's question. So I'd either leave in the Boy line or find a line for Cypher (or somebody else:

[b:post_uid0]Switch:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I wouldn't get any lines. Bitch.
)

The other variations - noodles, and taking out the survey line - are fine by me (though the spoon line works better as transition if the spoon boy keeps his line in the first block - otherwise it may seem as if we're doing the scene twice).[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
11-30-2003, 02:17 AM
[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0]And on a more serious note - kind of oxymoronical, given the context - the reason I stuck the Spoon Kid into the first block ("Boy: She told me there is no spoon.") was in order to create the sense of a whole bunch of answers - the Rule of Three (to those not familiar with writing and plot terms - once is meaningless, two is coincidence, three is a rule.)[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Count me as agreeing with Standback here; that block needs one more line. I think a line with Cypher has the most potential to be funny, but apparently none that've been suggested yet are well-liked. Unfortunately, "She said I was a nothing! Can you believe that?!" was the best I could think of. Any suggestions? -- Pteryx[/color:post_uid0]

JobeGDG
11-30-2003, 02:38 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Okay, here's a shot, then:

Cypher: She told me that I'd have to make a choice. I one hand I'd have Morpheus' life, and in the other I'd have a tender, juicy, steak.

It's a little long, but I wanted to be sure to keep the source recognizable.

EDIT: I just thought of another variant.

Cypher: She told me that I'd have to make a choice. I one hand I'd have Morpheus' life, and in the other I'd have a very traceable cell phone.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-30-2003, 03:18 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Pick and choose any lines you want...


Neo: What kinds of things does the Oracle tell people?
Morpheus: Well, she told me that I'd be the one to draft the One.
Spoon Boy: She told me that there is no spoon. Now if only I could convince that annoying timelord person of the fact so he'd quit asking for more silverware...
Cypher: She said something lame about me driving a steak through the heart of our resistance group. Not that I'd tell any of [i:post_uid0]you[/i:post_uid0] about that, of course.
Cypher's Cellphone: Leave me alone, okay? Can't you see I'm busy betraying you all?
Switch: She told me I wouldn't get any lines in this movie. What a liar.
Neo: Okay, sounds harmless enough. Here I go.
Trinity: Oh, I remember, she said I would--
Neo: Hey, hey, I've already made up my mind. Time's a-wasting. Save it 'til later, okay?[/color:post_uid0]

g-blatt
11-30-2003, 03:55 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ello I am g-blat, I'm new here... anyway here's my cut-en-paster:

Trinity: So Neo, how does it feel to be back in the Matrix?
Neo: This is the Matrix? Looks greener than I remember.
Morpheus: The Matrix is always greener from the other side
Neo: The other side of what?
Morpheus: Neo, I only can show you the door, you must walk through it
Neo: Are you afraid of doors?
Morpheus: Yes, the last one I opened had an agent on the other side
Neo: Oh my God you are crazy, What did the Oracle say to you crazyman???
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish. That and that I shall impersonate Gollum my preciousesesessss.
Cypher: She that it's not that important to confirm every kill and I was a nothing!!! Can you believe that!!… I think I’ll go get a stake now…
Spoon Boy: She told me there is no spoon.
Trinity: She told me that I--
Neo: Shush, Trin. Can't you see the boy's telling me about his spoon? So Spoon boy can I have a spoon?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon. It's all a government conspiracy involving cell phones, garbage cans, and Dilbert
Neo: What did you say?
Spoon Boy: Just bend the stupid spoon already Kid!
Neo: How?
Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy!!!

So Tell me what ya think.

P.S. LONG LIVE ZE PYTHONS!!![/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-30-2003, 04:30 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Welcome aboard, G-blatt!

[quote:post_uid0]Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy!!![/quote:post_uid0]

:D I like this one a lot...

You have some fun stuff; just one thing to point out. Take a look at other people's posts (and at actual fivers) - the norm here is to break down jokes into very very short blocks, not to combine a whole lot together (jokes are less effective in big lumps). Brevity is the soul of wit, especially when the name of the game starts with "Five Minute." ;)

You'll get the hang of it in no time. Looking at the way the other forumgoers post will help. Always great to have a newcomer - stick around![/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm
11-30-2003, 04:44 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Brevity is the soul of wit, especially when the name of the game starts with "Five Minute." [/quote:post_uid0]

Go easy on the exclamation marks as well. Zeke (and others) tend to frown on multiples *g* Just a word of warning.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-30-2003, 04:52 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Standback"][quote:post_uid0]Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy![/quote:post_uid0]

:D I like this one a lot...[/quote:post_uid0]
Me too! :lol:


Morpheus: She told me that I would find the One because I am Pure Ohms.
Spoon Boy: Well, she told me there is no spoon. It's all a government conspiracy involving cell phones, garbage cans, and--ow!
Cypher: Er, heheh, sorry about that. Anyway, don't believe her, because she told me that I am nothing! What a jerk!
Neo: I don't know about this...maybe I should leave...
Spoon Boy: Oh, just bend the stupid spoon already, kid!
Neo: How?
Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy![/color:post_uid0]

Standback
11-30-2003, 12:38 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Go easy on the exclamation marks as well. Zeke (and others) tend to frown on multiples *g* Just a word of warning.[/quote:post_uid0]

:O I just realized... I quoted it! I quoted multiple exclamation points! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! :dead:

::Is hunted down by Zeke until pushed into pool of acid. It's flaming acid, for good measure. Shortly, Stand-B-ACK-4 is dispatched to continue this post.::

NAHT - that last one seems to me to be cramming too much in. The main spoon joke should definitely be in a seperate block from the Oracle joke.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-30-2003, 03:32 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]*sniffles a bit* :( I...I can't help it. There's enough material in this thread to make four or five good funny blocks...[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
11-30-2003, 06:23 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: There were five before you.
Neo: What happened to them?
Morpheus: The first one went back in time in a phone booth, the second on blew up in a bus, the third one was replaced, the fourth one lost his memory...
Neo: Why do I get the feeling I had something to do them?[/color:post_uid0]

Derek
11-30-2003, 07:28 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]^ NeoMatrix's scene is so far my favorite of the "five before you" scene, but I'm kind of leaning away from doing one at all since it wasn't actually in the movie.[/color:post_uid0]

g-blatt
11-30-2003, 08:47 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]the name of the game is "Five Minute"[/quote:post_uid0]
Yah I kinda thought the block was too long, but I was In a risk taking mood.

Anyway I tried to edit it down a bit:

Morpheus: Neo, I only can show you the door, you must walk through it.
Neo: Why, Are you afraid of doors?
Morpheus: Yes, the last time I opened one it had a balding agent on the other side
Neo: Oh my God you’re crazy, What did the Oracle say to you to make you so crazy crazyman?
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish.
Spoon Boy: She told me there is no spoon.
Trinity: She told me that I—
Neo: Quiet, Trin. Can't you see the boy's telling me about his spoon? So Spoon boy can I have a spoon?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon. It’s simply an unconfused astroprojection of underling metaphors representing the power of will and Dillbert.
Neo: I like shiny things…
Spoon Boy: Just bend the stupid spoon already Kid!
Neo: How?
Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy.

How’s that? better? worse? tell me.

P.S.
[quote:post_uid0]multiples *g*[/quote:post_uid0]
Huh?[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
11-30-2003, 08:57 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I think it's better. It's certainly nice to have all those jokes right there for easy reference. :) Looks like between this block and the last, we may need the standard version plus a handful of Alternate-Universe versions of this fiver, just to get all the good stuff in. :D[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina
11-30-2003, 10:08 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="g-blatt"]P.S.
[quote:post_uid0]multiples *g*[/quote:post_uid0]
Huh?[/quote:post_uid0]
From the Submissions FAQ (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/about/submissions.html):[quote:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q: Why did you sound all mad in your reply?[/b:post_uid0]

Most likely because, somewhere in your fiver, you used more than one exclamation mark. This is my greatest pet peeve. Other grammatical errors I can stand, but I will not be on your side if you overdo the exclamation marks. I've killed men for less. DON'T DO IT.[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-01-2003, 07:29 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]My take one the "use the forks" line:

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] "There is no spoon"? What kind of deep meaning is that supposed to have?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] Use the forks, Neo.

Ech. I'm trying to get the wording right. "You must learn to use the forks." "You must learn to use the power of the forks." "May the forks be with you." (That one, I'm thinking, would be good for the elevator scene.)[/color:post_uid0]

JobeGDG
12-01-2003, 01:59 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hmm… how 'bout:

"The forks will be with you… Always."[/color:post_uid0]

Kira
12-01-2003, 07:37 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]^ *snirk* I can't resist that.

[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] You must realize the truth... there is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Matrix:[/b:post_uid0] Are there forks?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] Yes, Neo. The forks will be with you... always.

...but seriously now. (Relatively speaking, anyways.)

It's a shame the scene about the five Ones isn't in the movie, because I find that variation on the MP "sank into the swamp" joke hilarious. But, it's not, so there.

I actually like the version of the first scene where Neo wants to hear about the boy's spoon, but (a) it seems odd to follow that with a Spoon Boy scene and (b) it also seems odd for Neo to want to listen to the boy but not the others. I'd pick something along the lines of:

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] So what did the Oracle tell you?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I forgot most of it. I was eating the cookies she made.
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] She told me not to eat steak. Stupid Oracle.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] She said that I--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, my favorite noodle house!

I also like the "knifey-spooney" joke... which is why I used it in a fiver, so I find it a little old. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-01-2003, 07:57 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0](a) it seems odd to follow that with a Spoon Boy scene[/quote:post_uid0]

I actually think it works, all things considered. Look at them together:

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] So what did the Oracle tell you?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I'm the Super Ohm. 'Cause, you see, when you scramble it all up -- well, anyway, I've got high hopes for you.
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] She told me there is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] She said that I--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Shush, Trin. Can't you see the boy's telling me about his spoon?

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] So what's the deal with the spoon?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] There is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are there forks?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] Of course. The forks surround us and penetrate us.
They bind the galaxy together. Use the forks, Neo.

I think it works.

[quote:post_uid0](b) it also seems odd for Neo to want to listen to the boy but not the others.[/quote:post_uid0]

That would be the point, I believe. :D[/color:post_uid0]

Kira
12-01-2003, 08:20 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hm, that does work. However, I like the first SW quote better than the second one.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-01-2003, 09:00 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]"Use the Force" just seems a more memorable line - and thus easier to identify in its present form. But that's just me.[/color:post_uid0]

Kira
12-01-2003, 09:29 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I agree -- it's the first part that seems out of place. However, using "Use the forks" by itself is less likely to stand out as a SW ref.[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm
12-01-2003, 10:51 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]However, using "Use the forks" by itself is less likely to stand out as a SW ref.[/quote:post_uid0]

Simpsons reference, maybe.[/color:post_uid0]

Saxamaphone
12-02-2003, 12:29 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Speaking of that episode, our school is doing a production of
[i:post_uid0]Guys and Dolls[/i:post_uid0] this Spring ::crosses fingers for part of Nathan Detroit::

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What did the Oracle tell you?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I'm the Super Ohm. See why I like anagrams?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] She said that I--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, my favorite noodle house!

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey kid, got any noodles to go with that spoon?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] There is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are there noodles?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Enough with the noodles already!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, quit being such a wet noodle -- anyway, are they're forks? They go better with noodles.
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] Yes, the forks will be with you, always.

I know the noodle joke didn't fly before, but I couldn't resist :)

I'm in a basic consensus with everyone else about the 5 Neos. And of course Kira has the market on all the good Simpsons jokes ;)[/color:post_uid0]

dsbs
12-02-2003, 12:29 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like these, but the monty python versions had both me and my brother (who never laughs) in stitches.[/color:post_uid0]

g-blatt
12-02-2003, 04:05 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Isn’t "use the forks" was a space balls reference?
anyway just for fun
*start's doing stupid movie trailer voice-over voice*
Read g-blatt's The Matrix: 18 blocks, UN-CUT, now with 30% more Star Wars references then ever!
*stops doing stuped movie trailer voice-over voice*

Morpheus: Neo, I only can show you the door, you must walk through it.
Neo: Why, Are you afraid of doors?
Morpheus: Yes, the last one I opened had a balding agent on the other side.
Neo: Ya like that’ll ever happen again. So Morpey What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish. And that I would find THE FIVE.
Neo: you mean THE ONE.
Morpheus: Um… er… um… oh crap...
*waves hand*
Morpheus: You diden't hear that! btw have you met Spoon boy?
Neo: Why do they call you spoon boy?
Spoon Boy: I like Spoons.
Neo: So Spoon boy can I have a spoon?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon. It’s simply an unconfused astroprojection of underling metaphors representing the power of will and Dillbert.
Neo: I like shiny things…
Spoon Boy: Just bend the stupid spoon already, Kid!
Neo: How?
Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy.
Neo: The Forks?
Spoon boy: The Forks, they surround us and penetrate us with there sharp pointy-ness.
Neo: Tell me, do they hurt?
Spoon boy: That would ruin the surprise…[/color:post_uid0]

Kira
12-02-2003, 04:09 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="dsbs"]I like these, but the monty python versions had both me and my brother (who never laughs) in stitches.[/quote:post_uid0]
I like them too, but since that scene wasn't actually in the movie, it doesn't really fit.

I propose we remember it for if we ever get to [i:post_uid0]Reloaded[/i:post_uid0] -- it would work for the Neo/Architect scene where he explains about the previous Ones.[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm
12-02-2003, 04:30 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]^
Gonna hold you to that...assuming my memory lasts three or four years.[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
12-02-2003, 05:35 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: What did the Oracle tell you?
Trinity: *thinks* ummmm
Neo: Did you forget?
Trinity: Oh yeah! The Oracle told me I would forget what she told me

Boy: The Oracle told me there are many forks in the road of life.
Neo: Why only forks? I just want a spoon for my mush.
Boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: What is going on? Why is there a shortage of spoons?
Boy: Don't ask me, ask the Oracle.

---------------------------------------------------------
Boy: What is your quest?
Neo: To seek the Holy Spoon
Boy: There is no spoon
Neo: Then I will settle for a hole

(The hole is a play on the word Holy. Also, I am referencing the hole that Agent Smith and Neo end up in at the end of Revolutions.)[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
12-02-2003, 05:54 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Boy: You want the truth?
Neo: I want the truth!
Boy: You can't handle the truth!
Neo: Your right, I will just go over here and eat my mush with a spoon
Boy: There is no Spoon
Neo: Noooooooo![/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
12-02-2003, 05:59 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Another variation:

Neo: What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me I'm the Super Ohm. See why I like anagrams? Anyway, I've got high hopes for you.
Cypher: She told me my role in this movie got downgraded. I'll show [i:post_uid0]her.[/i:post_uid0]
Trinity: She said that I--
Neo: Hey, my favorite noodle house!

The downgrading being how Cypher is said to have been a failed One in an earlier version of the script. I wish I could think of something better, as I prefer not having the Spoon Boy in the first block.

There are so many good Spoon Boy blocks... this is going to be a hard vote. -- Pteryx[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-02-2003, 07:13 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]
However, using "Use the forks" by itself is less likely to stand out as a SW ref.[/quote:post_uid0]

Simpsons reference, maybe. [/quote:post_uid0]

I must've missed that one. Evil Israeli TV network, not showing enough Simpsons reruns...
::mutter mutter mutter:

So what exactly was the Simpsons reference?

g-blatt - the Spaceballs reference was "Use the Schwartz."

As to your block - still way, way, way too long. Short, focused blocks, usually 3-5 lines. You'll find that the last joke in a block is usually the one with the most impact, so for example, you're kinda wasting "use the forks, dummy" by adding "Do they hurt?" afterwards... and so on for the rest, as well.

Try splitting your block into a whole bunch of small ones. For example, this:

[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Neo, I only can show you the door, you must walk through it.
Neo: Why, Are you afraid of doors?
Morpheus: Yes, the last one I opened had a balding agent on the other side.
Neo: Ya like that’ll ever happen again. So Morpey What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish. And that I would find THE FIVE.
Neo: you mean THE ONE.
Morpheus: Um… er… um… oh crap...
*waves hand*
Morpheus: You diden't hear that! btw have you met Spoon boy?[/quote:post_uid0]

Works much better like this:

[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Neo, I only can show you the door, you must walk through it.
Neo: Why, Are you afraid of doors?
Morpheus: Yes, the last one I opened had a balding agent on the other side.
Neo: Yeah, like that’ll ever happen again.

Neo: Morpheus, What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish. And that I would find THE FIVE.
Neo: you mean THE ONE.
Morpheus: Um… er… um… oh crap...
*waves hand*
Morpheus: You diden't hear that! Say, have you met Spoon boy?[/quote:post_uid0]

See the difference?[/color:post_uid0]

Saxamaphone
12-02-2003, 12:31 PM
[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0]So what exactly was the Simpsons reference?[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Episode AABF05: Mayored to the Mob (http://www.snpp.com/episodes/AABF05)

Hamill: Homer! Use the for...
Homer: The Force?
Hamill: The forks! Use the forks!
Homer: Oh.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-02-2003, 12:44 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]On second thought, I did see that one.[/color:post_uid0]

g-blatt
12-03-2003, 07:59 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]As to your block - still way, way, way too long [/quote:post_uid0]
I did say that last block was an "un-cut" version. but I know what you mean, all my blocks so far are too long. I’ll get the hang of it sooner or later. Or not die trying.

well anyway here is my new streemlined block 18.(now four lines shorter)

Neo: What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish. And that I would find THE FIVE.
Neo: you mean THE ONE.
Morpheus: Um… er… um… oh crap...
*waves hand*
Morpheus: You diden't hear that! btw have you met Spoon boy?
Neo: So Spoon boy can I have a spoon?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon. It’s simply an unconfused astroprojection of underling metaphors representing the power of will and Dillbert.
Neo: I like shiny things…
Spoon Boy: Just bend the stupid spoon already, Kid!
Neo: How?
Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
12-03-2003, 03:09 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Maybe split that up into two paragraphs, something like this:


Neo: What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish. And that I shall find THE FIVE.
Neo: Uh, don't you mean "THE ONE"?
Morpheus: Um… er… um… hey, look over there! Spoons!
Neo: Ooo, shiny!

Neo: Hey, Spoon Boy, can I have a spoon?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon. You must understand that that which you perceive to be a spoon is simply an unconfused astroprojection of underlying subconscious metaphors representing the focused power of will and Dilbert.
Neo: I like shiny things…
Spoon Boy: Oh, just bend the stupid spoon already, Kid!
Neo: How?
Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17
12-03-2003, 05:36 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Actually, the one with "The forks will be with you... always" totally cracked me up. You guys are such a hoot...[/color:post_uid0]

g-blatt
12-03-2003, 06:21 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Maybe split that up into two paragraphs, something like this:
[/quote:post_uid0]
OK good Idea.

The following is the same block as before only not the same.

Neo: What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish. And that I would find THE FIVE.
Neo: you mean THE ONE.
Morpheus: Um… er… um… oh crap...
*waves hand*
Morpheus: You diden't hear that! btw have you met Spoon boy?

Neo: So Spoon boy can I have a spoon?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon. It’s simply an unconfused astroprojection of underling metaphors representing the power of will and Dillbert.
Neo: I like shiny things…
Spoon Boy: Just bend the stupid spoon already, Kid!
Neo: How?
Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy.

yah, I think its better now. thanks.[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi
12-10-2003, 09:56 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Do you know, I'll bet that this is still going by next Christmas. Anyway, I say let's have a final vote already! And next time Zeke, don't say anything about it going quickly - it seems to have the opposite effect. A bit like 'soon', really....[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-10-2003, 10:59 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]He said that the forum server would be back up "shortly." ;)[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina
12-10-2003, 11:37 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Wasn't that Kira?

What I'm wondering about is, that once there was a note on the front page saying the forums were down, they were already back up. :eyeroll:[/color:post_uid0]

Kira
12-11-2003, 12:46 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]^ One, yes that was me. It's me until Zeke identifies himself... and there's something really big coming out next week from me, so I'll be at the helm for a while. Two, I put the notice up last night when I had someone email me about the forums, and although they were back up this morning I didn't feel like updating the site from work.[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix
12-24-2003, 03:49 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Now that the forums are back, lets move this along and decide on this block[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-24-2003, 01:18 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Man, this block is taking [i:post_uid0]forever[/i:post_uid0].[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-25-2003, 10:45 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Alright, following the hiatus, let me be the first the remind people what the considered blocks are. My own vote is for this:

[quote:post_uid0]
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] So what did the Oracle tell you?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I'm the Super Ohm. 'Cause, you see, when you scramble it all up -- well, anyway, I've got high hopes for you.
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] She told me there is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] She said that I--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Shush, Trin. Can't you see the boy's telling me about his spoon?

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] So what's the deal with the spoon?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] There is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are there forks?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] Yes, Neo. The forks will be with you... always.
[/quote:post_uid0]

Trust me, you all loved it.


Well, actually, there were a whole bunch of proposed variations, most of which involved noodles. Other than that, the only contenders seemed to be the various detailed descriptions of the sordid fates of the previous five Ones, which I think we kinda agreed to leave out, since they kinda left them out of the actual movie, in a technical sort of way.

There's also g-blatt's uncut version (above). I think that covers it.

Votes? Tweaks? New blocks? Pie?[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
12-25-2003, 11:01 PM
[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Man, this block is taking [i:post_uid0]forever[/i:post_uid0].[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Only if you count the forum downtime... I assume you meant that humourously, though.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-26-2003, 07:06 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]But of course. When was the last time I intended things humorlessly?[/color:post_uid0]

taya17
12-26-2003, 05:17 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]The forks still do it for me, no matter how wrong that sounds.[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina
12-26-2003, 07:14 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]It does sound wrong. But I agree.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
12-28-2003, 02:22 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'll go along with Standback's version.[/color:post_uid0]

g-blatt
12-28-2003, 04:18 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I vote for myself :)

[quote:post_uid0]Neo: What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish. And that I would find THE FIVE.
Neo: you mean THE ONE.
Morpheus: Um… er… um… oh crap...
*waves hand*
Morpheus: You diden't hear that! btw have you met Spoon boy?

Neo: So Spoon boy can I have a spoon?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon. It’s simply an unconfused astroprojection of underling metaphors representing the power of will and Dillbert.
Neo: I like shiny things…
Spoon Boy: Just bend the stupid spoon already, Kid!
Neo: How?
Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy!
[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-28-2003, 10:17 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]g-blatt! Glad to see we didn't lose you in the down-time. Also, good job condensing your block - much more managable this way. :)[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
12-28-2003, 10:53 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Eh, I'm still not really behind having Spoon Boy in the first block, but it isn't quite bad the way Standback's proposed having the second one go, and nobody's really come up with a good second answer to replace the line in question.

Incidentally, the "noodle house" interruption I proposed came from Neo's remark that they were passing someplace where he ate often which had "really good noodles", in case that confused anyone. -- Pteryx[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
12-29-2003, 04:19 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Awright! Pteryx joined! :D

The noodle-house reference, I can assure you, was understood and well-received (certainly judging by the number of forumgoers who seemed to prefer it over my own line...)[/color:post_uid0]

JobeGDG
12-30-2003, 04:04 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]While I like the noodle-house bit, I vote for Standback's version (I can't deny that expediency had a small hand in my vote, but do I think we finally have a solid block.)[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
12-30-2003, 04:49 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Just an advance warning: don't pester me about this block. I have a lot to deal with right now and I won't react well.[/color:post_uid0]

Saxamaphone
12-30-2003, 07:54 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like Standback's version, but I propose to clean it up a bit...plus the noodle house bit. It fits in better with the actual events of the movie, and I think the other way mights make the Spoon Boy's appearance too redundant:

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What did the Oracle tell you?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I'm the Super Ohm. See why I like anagrams?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] She said that I--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, my favorite noodle house!

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] So, what's the deal with the spoon?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] There is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are there forks?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] Yes, Neo. The forks will be with you... always.[/color:post_uid0]

Pteryx
12-30-2003, 08:30 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I still agree with Standback that we need a replacement for Spoon Boy's line if we're going to use the noodle house variation in order to properly give the sense of many answers. Problem is, we're having trouble coming up with something funny. The best I managed was:

[quote:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Cypher[/b:post_uid0]: She told me my role in this movie got downgraded. I'll show [i:post_uid0]her.[/i:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]

...which has the advantage of alluding to the plot changes without making a whole block out of a scene that didn't make it into the movie.

On Standback's original version of Morpheus's line versus the short "See why I like anagrams?" version, I'm pretty much neutral. -- Pteryx[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
01-03-2004, 04:29 AM
[quote:post_uid0="Saxamaphone"][color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What did the Oracle tell you?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I'm the Super Ohm. See why I like anagrams?
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] She told me my role in this movie got downgraded. I'll show [i:post_uid0]her[/i:post_uid0].
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] She said that I--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, my favorite noodle house!

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What's the deal with the spoon?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] There is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are there forks?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] Yes, Neo. The forks will be with you... always.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I think this is the best compromise. I agree with Pteryx that a Cypher line in the first scene is better than sticking Spoon Boy there. (Much better, since we'd have Trin and Spoon Boy in a scene together that way, and they never were in the movie.) Aside from that line and a tiny edit, this is Sax's streamlined version. Everyone okay with it?[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM
01-03-2004, 06:03 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yes. Absolutely. :bigsmile:[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina
01-03-2004, 10:00 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Sounds good to me.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback
01-03-2004, 04:06 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Sounds just fine by me.

[quote:post_uid0](Much better, since we'd have Trin and Spoon Boy in a scene together that way, and they never were in the movie.)[/quote:post_uid0]

And we wouldn't want a glaring inaccuracy like that in one of our high-standard fivers, would we? Fans go over these things frame by frame, you know. This one, for example, would be an excellent base for a new theory that the [i:post_uid0]real[/i:post_uid0] One is actually Gimli. :D[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
01-03-2004, 11:07 PM
Very good. Block closed; I'll start 19 as soon as I can.