April 1 (5M^_^: The Dirty Pair)

[Zeke]

<p>The wait is over! Today the final slot on Five-Minute Anime's front page is filled! Comin' at you live from the 3WA, it's one of the all-time classics: <a href="../anime/dirtypair.html">Five-Minute <i>The Dirty Pair</i></a>!
<p>Hold it. What the hell?
<p><i>Enterprise</i> this time? And it bears even less resemblance to the actual anime than that Seven thing did!
<p>Well, great. Between the TJI and the last two "fivers", the pattern is obvious. There's no point in denying it -- this site was never meant to be Five-Minute Anime at all. No matter what I write, it turns back into Star Trek or something else from the old FiveMinute.net.
<p>So be it. We're <a href="..">5M.net</a> again. Anime will just be a section like any other.
<p>...
<p><b>AND <i>THAT</i>, FOLKS, IS WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS THING ALL ALONG.</b>
<p>Toldja I had a plan.

[Derek]

Reed: Step 16, turn right at this next intersection. Step 17... swim across the Atlantic Ocean?
Not sure how else you're supposed to get there.

Nice fiver, Zeke. Not familiar with the anime, but it seemed just as much a send up to video games, which I do have some passing familiarity with.

[evay]

Trip and Malcolm! Bickering! Splosions! Jokes! Malcolm getting to blow stuff up! Trip's accent! ::swoons in sheer delight::

Reed: Let's shall.
For some reason I love this...

Bertram: I'm getting close to my weirdness capacity for the day, here.
I am officially adding this to my standard vocabulary.

Reed: And when Trip's confused, he hammers himself half the time.
::blows Zeke kisses::

Trip: *spinning on Adamson* Who's prettier? Me or him?
ooh, that is a toughie! I would have to say Malcolm is prettier, but Trip is more handsome. Although I wouldn't kick either of them out of bed for eating crackers.


It doesn't matter that I have no idea what this fiver or the previous one is crossing over with... you can keep writing these crossovers all day long, as far as I'm concerned. Nice job! :D

[Tate]

Wow! That was great. My favorite Enterprise characters, Zero Wing, Metroids, Evil Future Guy; this has everything. Thanks Zeke!
I've waited so long for a felicitious opportunity like this, and at last it's come!
I'll finally be able to abandon this alias and step into the light!
Oh, they told me my mission was impossible. But I knew it wasn't! And now they'll all be answering to me!
...Silik, why do I get the impression that you've lost your enthusiasm for the project?
At the fringe of my consciousness, perhaps.
Gee, I wonder who that could be. :)
Trip: Sorry. Malcolm's kinda sensitive about his codename.

Adamson: What's wrong with "Yaoi"?

Reed: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
I can just imagine Reed being proud of his foreign-sounding codename until Hoshi explained to him what it meant.

Anyway, great job, Zeke.

And this was up before I went to bed last night. It totally counts as an April Fools joke. :)

[Wowbagger]

Oh, Zeke, you know all the right ways to melt my heart like a stick of butter. Paul Simon, the Aibo, Epileptic Trees, Zero Wing (http://starshipexcelsior.com/download/forceDownload.php?file_id=3), a theory of Future Guy I wish I'd thought of so I could have incorporated it into my bizarre theory of the new movie...

It's not late as long as it's still April 1st in American Samoa. And it's April 1st in American Samoa until 5 AM EST. Take it to the bank. (I am, however, tempted to complain anyway, in hopes of seeing you burn the land and boil the sea, because that would be awesome.)

[Sa'ar Chasm]

(There's a long silence. Then Silik, taking advantage of his Suliban flexibility, kicks himself in the head.)

I found this inexplicably hilarious, both the setup and the image.

Trip: Aw, c'mon! How about the one where he's from a planet where all the trees have epilepsy?

Damn you, TVTropes! I can't remember if it was someone here or the Irregular Webcomic guy that got me hooked, but I swear I shall have my revenge for all the time that's been sucked into that black hole of "Hey, I actually remember watching that episode."

But I digress.

Silik: *sigh* This has become much stupider than I was prepared for.

Is it wrong to feel sorry for the villain? I'm sure there's a TVTropes page to explain why or why not.

(most quotes to come as they surmount the lethargy activation barrier)

Excellent job, Zeke. You keep this up and you're going to shame me into actually writing a fiver.

[MaverickZer0]

It was up before I went to bed, too. Considering my 'it's not the next day until I sleep' policy, I would call that definitively on the right day.

And it was hilarious. I could not pick one specific part, since I'd have to quote the whole thing. I was snickering the whole way through.

[evay]

Damn you, TVTropes!

Oh, seriously. I call it the Lost Weekend Site. It's like a law that you can't spend less than three hours at a session there. I usually have about fifteen tabs open trying to follow comments and cross-links.

[NAHTMMM]

We lost Goosefood on the way back.
Darn, I liked him. The writers should've kept his character around. Even though I couldn't tell you when his other appearance(s) were . . .


Adamson: Wait! You'd better know what you're heading into. The automated defenses on this starbase are a little... unorthodox.

Reed: Oh, we know. You have robots, mounted cannons, moving force fields, rooms that fill up with acid...

Adamson: You know about that?

Trip: We paid attention to that part of the briefin'. It was cool.
*Snerk*


T & M's attitudes/personalities, and everything connected with them, are quite funny. I got a big kick out of the two monsters' cameos as well.


Adamson: That's not a dog!

Trip: What's it look like? An inverted capital G?
:D I was reading back through those archives just a few days ago. (Hmm, come to think of it, the last initials of Trip and Malcolm match up.)


Also liked Silik's "classy" bit and kicking himself.

[Zeke]

Thanks for the praise, and happy Easter to all! The next update will be an event-wrapup article; it'll include, among other things, a crash course on The Dirty Pair and why I chose it for this final parody. After that we'll be back to normal 5M.net business.

By the way, didn't anybody look at the front page?

evay: Heh, this is why I said wait'll you see the next update. Glad you liked it. I definitely had fun writing for the ENT characters again.

Tate: Good catch! I wondered if anyone would notice that.

Wowbagger: It brings me great satisfaction that somebody gets my Paul Simon jokes. Funny mp3! (But I couldn't help but notice the writer made the same mistake I nearly made -- "You know what you doing" is not someone else questioning the captain, it's the captain encouraging his pilots.)

Regarding TV Tropes: Yeah, I've been a troper since the site was much smaller and less of a thing. I liked it better back then, but it's still fun. I had to do a shoutout to Epileptic Trees since one of the first things I posted at TVT was my real theory about the Evil Future Guy (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WMG/StarTrekEnterprise). (And you guys know Nate made us a page (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/showthread.php?t=1541), right? He's been working steadily on it, and I'm sure he'd appreciate any help.)

NAHTMMM: Holy crap, someone got the Triangle & Robert joke!

[evay]

the front page is gorgeous. I love the new logo.

Thanks Easta Bunny! BOK BOK!

[NAHTMMM]

Yeah, that's a snazzy logo. :)

[Chancellor Valium]

GAhhh, things happen! Change! It's horrible - change it back immediately, it's all shiny and different! ( :p )

Seriously, the new logo is very cool, Zeke, and I like the new forum colour theme. :)

[evay]

<i>ow ow ow red hurts make it stop</i>

so yeah, that'd be Yea 1, Nay 1. Genuinely, I'm having a lot of difficulty reading what threads have new posts in this color scheme. The contrast is insufficient and the red is <i>very bright</i>.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

You changed it, now it sucks.

/I'll get over it

[Zeke]

Is this better, evay? I've turned all the reds down a shade (except the images, which I could also do but would take a while).

This is only a temporary thing. We actually won't be using vBulletin much longer -- I'll explain in the next update. I figured it would be a waste not to play with the colours first, since I've been meaning to for ages.

[evay]

still not enough contrast, but it's not nearly as painful; thank you. If you're going to change the entire BBS system in a bit then I won't complain further. I'll just turn my monitor down. 8)

[NAHTMMM]

The forums are a bit overly red or something for my taste, but the logo's snazzy in the forum context, too.

[Zeke]

Since I don't really know when Antony's gonna change us over, I've re-enabled the option for users to change styles. This means those of you who don't like my impromptu 5M.net style can now switch back. (No feelings will be hurt.)

Wrapup article is nearly done. It's pretty big, or it wouldn't be taking this long. But since my student gave me his old Blackberry -- earning my vote if he ever runs for PM -- I can now work on site stuff and other writings anywhere, and I have been. Those following me on LJ and/or dA have already seen the first example (http://commodorezeke.deviantart.com/art/Her-Love-is-a-Stapler-160738955).

[Nate the Great]

Whew. Everything's blue again.