Duct Tape - 100+ Uses for Duct Tape on Star Trek

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Star Trek has all its technology to solve problems, but sometimes Duct Tape is the only to go. Forget that technobabble, Duct Tape will solve any problem.

1. Use Duct tape to keep the warp core from breaching[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]2. Nacelles hanging by a thread after that nasty dogfight with the Klingon cruisers? Duct tape to the rescue! :D[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]3. Running out of Redshirts to kill off? Just Duct-Tape the old ones back together![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]4. Use it to seal leaking ducts (which is apparently the only thing duct tape can't be used for in real life).

The handyman's secret weapon: duct tape.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]5. To shut Neelix up. Thank Ivanova for small favours![/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]6. By Neelix to cover peoples noses so they have to swallow to breathe.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[quote:post_uid0="Arzosah"][color=#000000:post_uid0]6. By Neelix to cover peoples noses so they have to swallow to breathe.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]LoLol!

7. Ever wonder how Voyager destroys one shuttle a week and still manages to have a "full complement" halfway through its run? If you look carefully, all the later shuttles are merely pieces of previously destroyed ones sealed together with duct tape.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]8. Ever wonder why Voyager and the Enterprise are grey? They used duct tape to cover up all the battle damage. That is why you dont see the damage from the previous episodes.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]9. It goes without saying that the only thing holding any of Seven of Nine's costumes together is duct tape.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Indeed, taya. :lol:

10. Duct tape is preferred by 19 out of 20 compassionate crewmembers for the job of shutting up anyone who appears to be about to mention the "antim**** ra********" phrase in Janeway's presence, if you know what I mean. ;)


[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"]2. Nacelles hanging by a thread after that nasty dogfight with the Klingon cruisers? Duct tape to the rescue![/quote:post_uid0]

Click here (http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-7/127033/STDuctT2.gif) for a lame illustration of the above from [i:post_uid0]The Handyman's Guide to Starship-Patching[/i:post_uid0]. (The other cruisers are presumably off to the side, out of the field of view. Hey, hire a cheap artist, get cheap results.)[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]11. Every wonder why Mayweather doesnt talk much? Duct tape...[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]12. How do you avoid reading about every Star Trek cliche and the d-t word? White out on the screen. I mean, uh, duct tape.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]13. How do you repair an exploded console in the middle of crisis situation, when all engeneers are busy? Even Troi can use Duct tape.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]14. The Doctor could have modified duct tape to take out the mutant DNA in Paris, along with some other things as well.[/color:post_uid0]

[Kodu]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]15. Use as a substitute for seatbelts in crisis situations (You know they need them)[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]16. How do you think Sisko shaved his head so cleanly?

17. Picard, too.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]18. Duct Tape is a Tribble's worst nightmare[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]17. T'Pol's outfit is just fuzzy duct tape.[/color:post_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]19. Anti Grav plating no longer work? Duct tape yourself to the deck![/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]20. It will probably be shown by future studies that those nifty shockwave rings are caused by the matter/energy conversion of duct tape used to buy those "last few crucial seconds" necessary to facilitate the escape of somebody-or-other.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]21. [quote:post_uid0="Timescape fiver"]
La Forge: Was Professor Vassbinder's lecture interesting?
Picard: No, tedious. He kept rattling off endless lists of synonyms and definitions.
Troi: It's a good thing you're used to that by now.
Data: "Used to?" Ah! As in "accustomed...inured...desensitized...mmm-mmm-mphh!"
Picard: Thank you, Mr. La Forge.
La Forge: No handyman should ever be without duct tape.
[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]22. Attempting to fix plot-holes.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]23. To hold mutinous crewmen in check, up to and including the first officer.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]24. The Borg Queen used it to help keep her head attached to her body.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]25. Duct tape is the only way to prevent Janeway from messing with the timeline.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]26. And to fix the timeline if she gets away.[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]27: Internal force fields off line? Just use duck tape to keep that pesky "alien of the week" in the brig.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]28. They used Duct tape to tie up the Ferengi in [i:post_uid0]Acquasition[/i:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]29. Crewmen use duct tape to cover up the Red Alert Speakers and lights[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]30. Duct tape is handy for disabling internal sensors when you've been possessed by an alien entity and need to sabotage critical systems/connect your evil alien device/just be evil in peace and quiet for a few minutes.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]31: To repair the holodeck/transporter Malfunction Of The Week.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]32. To keep John Sheridan out of the universe. He must never cross over, EVER![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]33. To keep John Sheridan, Tribbles, pie, pizza, and any other oft-mentioned items out of the fora.[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]34. Maintaining alignment of the dilithium Xtal matrix.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]35. Seals your quarters so that no security officer, including Tuvok, is able to open the door. Also used to hide futuristic technobabble.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]36. To hold the fabric of the universe together just in case the technobbable doesn't work![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]37. To prevent LOTR or POTC being mentioned every two seconds.


(wait, is this for Star Trek or here :D )[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]You mean there's a difference? Oh.

:D


38. To hold Janeway's hair in place.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]39. Duct Tape: The only thing William Shatner trusts to hold his tupee and dentures in.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]40: Instant removal of Riker's beard! Whoo hoo!



(for that matter, instant removal of ANYONE'S beard! John Sheridan springs to mind...)[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0](Ouch! 8| ... but, to continue the theme: )

41. Persis Khambatta's secret[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]42. And also, Picard uses it to wax his head.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]43. For those periodic check-ups on Tuvok's mental stability.


[color=blue:post_uid0]EMH: Tuvok, what comes to mind when I say "Duct tape"?
Tuvok: If you mix up the letters in "duct tape", you can spell out "adept cut".
Janeway: I see, Doctor. Yes, you definitely need to increase his medication.[/color:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]TOO funny, NAH!


44. To tape crewmen down in Sickbay during medical examinations so that they don't RUN AWAY![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]45. To prevent blackouts from rolling[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]46. To repair exploded consoles.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]47. To re-repair exploded consoles.

48. To re-re-repair exploded consoles.

49. To re-re-re-repair exploded consoles.

50. Etc.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]51. To repair redshirts who happened to be sitting at exploding consoles at the time of the explosion.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]52. To re-repair said redshirts.

53. To re-re-repair said redshirts.

54. To re-re-re-repair said redshirts.

55. So on and so forth etc. ad naseum ad infinitum[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]56. To create a sort of super-redshirt who repairs him/her self with duct tape.

57. To fix malfunctions on super-redshirt

58. To tie up super-redshirts when try to tak over given starship.

59. To make them "redshorts" and wax their legs with duct tape as punishment.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]60. To wrap bat'leth handles, to give them a better grip.


(Hey, you did'nt say we could add SERIOUS reasons.)[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0](Good one, Taya)

61. Remember the big pile with the Borg parts that Kes envisioned? The had to keep it piled up using Duct tape.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]62. And then when they were done they put the borg back together with Duct Tape.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]63. To keep idjit smokers from using up all the ship's valuable oxygen.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]64. Close your mouth and nose with duct tape. It makes it easier to boycott oxygen.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]65. To tape lengths of Jeffries tubes together[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]66. Used to shut the computer up during those secret Self Destruct sequences.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]67. Used to shut Data up when he's spouting long streams of information.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]68. Used to stick subplots onto the mainplot.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[quote:post_uid0="taya17"][color=#000000:post_uid0]67. Used to shut Data up when he's spouting long streams of information.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Eh...that's awfully close to #21...meh. ;)

69. Used by Captain PROOOTOOOON to keep evil guards from announcing his arrival to the entire block, especially when it's in the middle of the night (the neighbors tend to get kinda upset for some reason).[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]70. It's pefect for extracting information that you need in a hurry from a Wookiee (or other hairy alien).

71. It's a cheaper alternative to buying magnetic mines - just buy the regular kind and slap on a bit of duct tape. Though not too forcefully of course.[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]72. Good for stashing that spare ignition key behind the deflector dish[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]73. Its what makes those Anti-Gravity boots work so well.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]74. In fact, how do you think their starships stimulate gravity? Everyone goes on about electromagnetic fields, but the truth is they just strap duct tape to the bottom of everybody's boots.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]75. Duct tape does not work in the Expanse[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]76. Fixing dead topics.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]77. Getting rid of pesky obsessions by duct taping them in the closet[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]79. The man who wanders around malls in a dazed and confused fashion loves duct tape.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]80. A certain mysterious killer tapes his victims to their chairs before killing them. Sometimes.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]81. That old view screen keeps falling out of the wall. Nothing like a bunch of duct tape to keep it from moving[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

82. TopHatMan uses duct tape to keep his hat from falling off his head

[Vedra]

83. 95% of Voyager has been rebuilt with it,along with it making up 70% of their scripts.

[Anonymous]

84) In the Old days it was used to:
1) To stop Dr. McCoy beginning every sentence with "For God's sake Jim/Spock" , "For the Love of God!", "I'm a doctor not a (insert profession of choice in here)!" etc.
2) To stop Scotty trying to make Uhura's skirts any mini-er
3) To stop Sulu going near Rand.
4) To stop Kirk going near Rand.
5) To stop Spock saying "That is Illogical, Captain." every second sentence
6) to keep that tribble prop on top of Chekov's head....anyone else notice his hair and how....furry it is?
7) To patch together Kirks stilted speech.
8) to stop Kirk blowing up EVERYTHING
9) In Mirror, Mirror to stop the Real Spock growing a goatee and confusing everyone. Come to think of it, to stop Spock moving and doing things like changing Kirk's chair....

[Ginga]

84: It's how Janeway REALLY kept that wig on.

[Anonymous]

85) - what stopped Gene Roddenberry writing a new series where Kirk had been demoted and forced to work under Picard....

[Vedra]

86. In an alternate version of that episode of Voyager with the Swarm,glue from duct tape was put into torpedoes and used to stick all the tiny Swarm ships together.

[PointyHairedJedi]

87. At convetions and other events, it's used to keep the actors firmly stuck in one place so they can't run away from the autograph tables when they get fed up of the uber-nerdly fans.

[catalina_marina]

Come to think of it, you can also use it to stick yourself to a coach when they claim it's full but you really really want to come because you're going to miss a meet-up otherwise.

[PointyHairedJedi]

There's the whole bugs in your teeth thing though, when you think about it...

[Anonymous]

88 ) to keep all those gizmos on the Borg

[catalina_marina]

Bugs? Teeth? Huh?

[PointyHairedJedi]

Ah, you were thinking on the inside....

We could always have tried to stow away in the baggage compartment of course. :P

[Opium]

89. To wax Sisko and Picard's heads. Ouch!

[danieldoof]

88. what do you think the tractor beam really is?

[catalina_marina]

Well that would have been hot... I think it would actually have fit though.

[danieldoof]

I was just thinking why I put the number 88 in front of my last post....

90. they use it to cover the "I don't brake for aliens" bumper sticker when meeting new species that picard put on the hull of enterprise.

[NAHTMMM]

Heheh, I like that one :mrgreen:

[danieldoof]

well, then here is another one

91. I wondered where all the redshirts come from when the enterprise is on a mission. now I know: they are duct taped on the ceiling... :wink:
that also explaines the constant crew count. when one is "gak"ed: go and get another one :D

[Hotaru]

That does make sense, just like when someone leaves their station and that other person just walks over to take control I always used to think...

WHERE DO THEY COME FROM!?

...now I know.

:D

[danieldoof]

92: it is used to depilate the tribbles so they are not so cuuuuuute anymore and nobody brings them on starfleet vessels....

[catalina_marina]

^One by one? :shock:

[Chancellor Valium]

93. You know how they got the name of the ship painted on the hull? That's not paint :wink:
94. When Archer says "Polarise the Hull Plating" he means "Break out the Duct Tape"

[richardson]

95 ) It's what keeps the doors shut!

[Chancellor Valium]

96) how else do you think voyager can afford to have Chakotay blow up shuttles every episode?

[stripysox]

97)Its what they use to get the dirt off when the sonic showers arn't working.

Yeah thats realy lame..

[Wowbagger]

98 ) How do you think they got all that great makeup variety on Voyager? Duct tape=Nose ridges!

[richardson]

99) It's what self-repaired the romulan drone!

[KillerGodMan]

100. It kept Enterprise E from blowing up in Nemisis

[Chancellor Valium]

101) How else do you think they sealed Spock into his funeral torpedo :roll:

[KillerGodMan]

^ If that was the case, how the heck did he get out?

102. The REAL reason why the starships are grey

[NeoMatrix]

103. Keeps the dishes in place just in case the ship comes under attack.

104. Archer uses it to keep his pictures on the wall

105. Picard uses it to keep all his model ships intact

106. Janeway uses it to keep her coffee mug from falling. Actually, she uses it to duct tape her mug to her hand

107. Kirk uses it to keep....well, I don't think he uses duct tape there. I think he gave his share of duct tape to Scotty for the engines.

108. Serves as a mute button: "Computer, shut the Doctor up." *Computer applies Duct Tape to the Doctor's mouth*

[stripysox]

109. Phlox uses it to patch up his glass tanks after a rough ride.

[Chancellor Valium]

110) Want to know how Phlox manages to keep people in decon?