Baw Fivers - Home to BaW, BaS, BoV, and others

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Here we go again with another of these epics...maybe... :O...

Episode I: The Ghosty Menace:

(Scene: A darkened window, at night. A chilly breeze gusts by, rattling the dead brown leaves on nearby trees as it goes. Suitable theme music plays softly in the background. Ooooh, spooky. :D)
Ghost: Wooooooooooooooo
Derek: Zz...Mmmph...wha? What was that? Did you hear anything?
MmeBlueberry: Zzzzz...
"Owl": Woo. Woo.
Derek: [i:post_uid0]"Woo"[/i:post_uid0]?
"Owl": Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Derek: Oh, it's just an owl that doesn't know how to pronounce "who". And a really cheesy theme tune. ...Zzzz...
Me: I resent that. The [i:post_uid0]Ghostbusters[/i:post_uid0] tune fits this Bored at School fiver perfectly.
Ghost: Whew.
Draknek: Now *that* was lame. Is that all the ghost can say, is stuff that rhymes with "moo"?

O'Pipp: Don't mind me, I'm just [color=A8A8A8:post_uid0]playing[/color:post_uid0] with all the new [color=FF8040:post_uid0]colors[/color:post_uid0] we've got here. Like [color=00FF00:post_uid0]this[/color:post_uid0]. Of course, [color=red:post_uid0]red's[/color:post_uid0] a good color for a pointy-eared Jonas killer like me....Now where did that eeevil Jonas get to...?

[i:post_uid0]Next morning...[/i:post_uid0]
NAHTMMM: Urgh...
Sax: That's what you get for pepperin' your vodka, lad.
NAH: Meester Sax, do you believe in ghosts?
Sax: Well, Mr. Nahtmmm, a man sees quite a few strange things in space, but I daresay no, I don't believe in that particular item.
NAH: Let me be more particular, sir...Sometime last night, when it was wery wery quiet, did a ghost knock on your door and ask you to boldly go where no man has gone before?
Sax: You do realize nobody else is going to pick up on this reference.
NAH: I know, I couldn't help it. I mean, it actually fit. A bit.

Naraht: I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamed I was being followed around my home by the Manhattan phone book. Only it was much thicker. As if that were even possible.
Katy Jane: i get the oddest feeling about this...

Siren: WOOP! WOOP! WOOOP!
FatMat: What the frell's that for?!
NAH: It just means we're entering Corny Movie Mode, in which we make fun of Every Relevant Movie Ever Made. Why? Because I felt like it. Everyone reading this, please back up your brain's hard drive at this time. Things are going to get really painfully cheesy after now. Done? Then you may continue.

Katy Jane: Aha! I think I know what everyone saw--
Audience: So do we, c'mon and get this over with!
Katy Jane: No! Obviously, I'm the naive brains of the good-guy side in this mystery-ish movie, so guess what I get to do?
mudshark: Use special knowledge that you in particular have, in order to have a brilliant insight? But you're reluctant to share it with everyone else because if you're wrong, everyone will make fun of you and you won't be the smart one of the bunch and if you're right, the movie ends before it's halfway done? So you conduct a foolish experiment in hopes of proving or disproving your theory?
Katy Jane: exactly. :D
mudshark: ...Only you get more than you bargained for and you mysteriously disappear, but leave a cryptic note behind to confound us when we search your room for no good reason, thus keeping the audience on the edge of their seats, waiting for us to get a grip and figure it out already?
Katy Jane: whoops, forgot about that part [img:post_uid0]http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/forums/html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif[/img:post_uid0]

Katy Jane: La lala la, setting a trap...
Ghost: Dum-de-dum, ooo...Bait.
Katy Jane: I gotcha!
Ghost: ??
Katy Jane: No doubt that's a very significant plot device that will be used later on. Hint hint.
Audience: Fine, fine. You don't have to rub it into our faces.
Katy Jane: Yes I do, didn't you notice the Alert? But for now, *ahem* Capture of ghosty thingy. gloating
Ghost: Correction that I have you. Better gloating. Evil emoticon. Kidnapping, leading to a mysterious disappearance that will likely confound the others for most of the rest of the movie.
Katy Jane: Oops! Request that we wait so I can write the cryptic note that I forgot to write.
Ghost: Acquiesence despite lack of a good reason for doing so.

PointyHairedJedi: Lalalala, walking into Katy Jane's room with the absurd idea that she would have left a note or something explaining her disappearance...
NeoMatrix: Lessee, I'm supposed to act like I'm actually looking at three random parts of the room, then head straight to where the script says to find the cryptic note: on the floor, under the open window.
PointyHairedJedi: Hah, beat you to it. That'll teach you to dawdle like you're actually paying attention to the rest of the room. Hmmm... (reads to himself) [i:post_uid0]oblique reference to notion as to what the ghosty-thingy is. Suggestion to beware...warning to be afraid. realness of ghosts...insertion of several more cryptic remarks...[/i:post_uid0] Oh, I don't need to read any further. Jeez, Katy, it's supposed to be [i:post_uid0]cryptic[/i:post_uid0]. This is blatantly obvious. Exposure of the ghost's identity.
NeoMatrix: It is? I mean, it is. Really. Uh-huh.
Ghost: Disgust at having to kidnap both of you too. Decision not to allow any more cryptic notes.
NeoMatrix and PointyHairedJedi: Aw, shoot.

Ghost: Foreboding evil statement of intent to eat everyone alive. Evil laughter.

[i:post_uid0]To be continued...?[/i:post_uid0]
Celeste: It better be, because I didn't get a single line in there! More! or else... :twirls pointy metal implements of torture with a gleam in her eye:
Me: Considering that the next order of business is probably to run the running joke concerning the thing's unstoppableness into the ground, and that we'll likely do so by throwing everything including the kitchen sink and several Death Stars at it, I suspect you're going to get a lot of lines.
Celeste: Yippee! [color=white:post_uid0]'[/color:post_uid0]:D Can my dog be in it? Her name's Riley and she's adorable and...
Me: Um, I dunno...we'll have to see...
Sa'ar Chasm: And me? Can I be in one?
Nan: Haven't you just answered your own question?



You are now leaving Corny Movie Mode. Congratulations on surviving it! :)
Redshirt: :dead:
Never mind... [img:post_uid0]http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/forums/html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif[/img:post_uid0]



Looks like this is just gonna set things up...not the funniest thing I've ever written.... [img:post_uid0]http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/forums/html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif[/img:post_uid0] Oh well.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well that was...strange. *g*

*Sa'ar Chasm demands a cameo*[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The BaW fivers were before your time, Sa'ar. And that's one mother of a long one.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]The BaW fivers were before your time, Sa'ar. [/quote:post_uid0]

Pretty much everything around here is before my time.

I think Zeke explained the basic concept to me at one point.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Baw?

*blank look*

Eh, it's better than endless 'shipping. *gagging noises*

Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hey, don't knock the Board at Work fivers. They're my invention and I demand copywright rights![/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yours were classic, Celeste. No contest.[/color:post_uid0]

[MmeBlueberry]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I think I've been demoted...going from one or two lines to [i:post_uid0]sleeping[/i:post_uid0] in a BaS fiver? Sigh.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Kira"]Yours were classic, Celeste. No contest.[/quote:post_uid0]
Agreed. :)

And Sa'ar, I went back and added you in. In case you didn't already notice. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]And Sa'ar, I went back and added you in. In case you didn't already notice. [/quote:post_uid0]

*happyskippy dance*

I meant a cameo in the next one, but this works as well. Danke.[/color:post_uid0]

[Things Are Good]

[quote:post_uid0="MmeBlueberry"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I think I've been demoted...going from one or two lines to [i:post_uid0]sleeping[/i:post_uid0] in a BaS fiver? Sigh.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, I wasn't in it at all. So it could be worse.

*pouts*[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yes, Celeste's were classic. And I think mine were an adiquate facsimile. [i:post_uid0]Adiquate, damn you![/i:post_uid0]

And I got a scene - awesome. Nice job NAH.[/color:post_uid0]

[entei]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, I never got in these either. I think the most I managed was a passing reference to one of my websites in one of Celeste's BAW fivers. Now isn't that something!!! :)

(And no, I dont think I'll bother writing one myself this time round. I have this rare illness that makes everything I type come out as rubbish! It's a disease that normally only affects politicians. )[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Me is stupid. Baw fiver?





Nan, all happy because her art page (http://maitreya.t35.com/) is back up!

POST EDIT: But the JavaScript is not working, so she is MAD![/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]BaW Fiver[/b:post_uid0] Bored at Work Fiver: the brain-child of Celeste, a parody about the fora goers, fiver style, that were written while she was bored, at work. See also: BaS Fiver, BaC Fiver, BaSomething Fiver, and Board Fiver.[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]well i hope somebody continues it so i can be found, i'm sick of being missing. I'm getting lost in the plretha of postings :( (dont say anything. i know i didnt spell it right :p )[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, *you* could continue it, Katy. I wouldn't mind. :)[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]i could but it might be a couple weeks before i can get online again. :crying:[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Woo hoo, I have lines. Thanks :) *looks at three random parts of the room* Whoa[/color:post_uid0]

[Anonymous]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I would continue it if I had any skills at fivers at all. And if I weren't a n00b... :mad:[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]This is my first attempt at one of these, so be kind.

[i:post_uid0]Star Trek: The Five-Minute Generation[/i:post_uid0]

Episode #47 - "Apostrophe of Fear", Part I

Riker:...so then this big-ass Borg ship appears, and Worf is like "We should raise the sheilds!", and I'm like, whatever.
(Riker reaches over to the captains chair and turns around a sign sitting on it)
Placard: VERY GOOD NUMBER ONE
Troi: You know that directly contavenes the Pun Directive.
Redshirt: GAK!
Riker: That really does defy words....
Placard: VERY GOOD NUMBER ONE
(A ship appears on the viewscreen)
Worf: Red alert! Raise shields! Prepare to fire at will!
Riker: Hey! No-one gave any orders yet!
(Worf sommersaults over the security console and flips the sign)
Placard: MAKE IT SO
Worf: Hah! Worf 1, Riker 0!

Marc: Yes, yes, all very funny, but is this actually going anywhere?
PointyHairedJedi: Don't look at me; I just do what the voices tell me.
Sax: Though I should point out that that particular excuse doesn't hold up in court.
PointyHairedJedi: Sigh. Lets just go back to the fiver shall we?

(FatMat appears on the viewscreen)
FatMat: We are the ZonK Collective! Resistance is futile!
Riker: Egad! Fire, Worf!
Worf: Oh, so now you want me fire?
Troi: I'm sensing...extreme vexation.
Riker: TOO LAAAATE!!!!!
(Pause)
FatMat: Was that my cue? Oh, hang on.
Enterprise: KABLAMMO!

MPQ: There wasn't any real point to that, was there?
Kira: HAHAHAHA! Oh, thats a good one. A point to a fiver. I'll have to rememer that.

Celeste: So what happens next?
PointyHairedJedi: We could mention your dog...
Riley: Woof.
Merlin Missy: Hehe.
All: Get on with it!

[i:post_uid0]Meanwhile, the ZonK Collective fleet approaches Earth[/i:post_uid0]

All: Eep!
Sa'ar: We're doomed!
Katy Jane: Only if you don't like ZonK.
IJD: Is that actually possile?
PointyHairedJedi: We must come up with a plan to stop them at all costs!
Nan: You mean you don't have one? But you're writing this thing!
PointyHairedJedi: Well, it's a case of the left lobe doesn't know that the right lobe is doing.

(Cut to bunker somewhere in deepest, darkest Solihull)
Zuke: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I'm using multiple excalmation points and no-one can stop me!!!

FatMat: That's just evil! We must put aside our differences and stop Zuke's evil menace at all costs!
Sax: Wait, how did we get here?
Celeste: Who cares? We get to kick some Zuke butt again!

[i:post_uid0]To be continued...[/i:post_uid0]


Whadya think? I woulda made it longer, but sleep takes priority.[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]grr...I wasn't mentioned again...You'd think I'd get mentioned in at least one as one of the supporters of Zuke...or the highest-ranked (in terms of posts) newb... Guess lest than amonth is not enough for someone to "integrate" themselves into the fiver culture...I'll just go off and sulk... :( :dead: :crying:[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Whadya think?[/quote:post_uid0]

:smile: Very funny![/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Four words:

Hill. Air. E. Us.

Think about it.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Sa'ar: We're doomed![/quote:post_uid0]

Great. I get to be the droid. *g*

[quote:post_uid0]Guess lest than amonth is not enough for someone to "integrate" themselves into the fiver culture.[/quote:post_uid0]

Took me about three.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I WAS MENTIONED! I WAS MENTIONED! WOO!

*ahem*

Very good, Pointy. ;)



~Nan, apparently a brainiac (http://borgqueenstv.50megs.com/quiz/brain2.gif)[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]get a line...Sorry if I sounded all whiney-like...I get like that when I'm about to sleep.

I thought it was very funny. That third smiley, he was crying with laughter.

EDIT: He mentioned ALL twice. Maybe I [i:post_uid0]did[/i:post_uid0] get a line....Thanks![/color:post_uid0]

[Anonymous]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]My own try at a BaS Fiver.

Teacher: Wah blah blah blah. Waw wah wah blah waaah.
Captain Galactic: :zzz:
Teacher: WAAAAW!!! BLAH BLA BLAH!!
Captain Galactic: Whaaa...Oh! 47.
Teacher: Cowect. Gimmie that doughnut.

Ms. Raaum is a :swear: ing piece of :swear: ...Sorry, just hate her. Just 4 more hours...:smile:

Crud. I gotta go. She's right behind me. Hopefully her nasty perfume won't make me :dead: ...hope she wore deoderant. That's a biohazard too. I saw U.N. inspecters crawing out of her armpits once. No lie.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Don't worry, CG. I plan to include you (and your Nicarguan space-station) in the next one. I woulda put in that one, but as I said, I was falling asleep at the keyboard at that point)[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I particularly liked the Captain Placard pun.

*bleepbleepwhirrrrbeeeep!*

What's that, Artoo? Yes, I'll tell him. Artoo liked it too. It's not his fault that he can't talk properly.

*electronic raspberry*

Show some manners, you clanking pile of <*Chewbacca rips off Sa'ar's arm and beats him to death with it*>

*Several minutes later, after RDIS kicks in*

Sorry about all that. Don't know what got into me.[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Wakkawaaa!!! Thanks, PHJ! :D[/color:post_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Asking if he will get a cameo in the next BaW.

Realization that he is talking in 'Topic Title' format.

Emoticon.

[i:post_uid0]Edit:[/i:post_uid0]Edit[/color:post_uid0]

[MPQ]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Praise over Baw fiver.

Comment that thoughts are easier to convey in Topic Title format.

Surprise that one does not have to post at least five times a day to be in Baw fiver.

More praise.[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Nice CG I learned a lot: when your teacher's not a trombone, she's a cross between Homer Simpson and Homestar.

But, yes - awexome.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[quote:post_uid0="MPQ"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Praise over Baw fiver.

Comment that thoughts are easier to convey in Topic Title format.

Surprise that one does not have to post at least five times a day to be in Baw fiver.

More praise.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Long live Topic Title

Maybe we can develop relationships as time goes along in the BAWs, like S/C - Sax/Celeste

Its not that posting 5 times a day gets you in a BAW fiver, its the impact you have on other people in the times you do post.[/color:post_uid0]

[Celeste]

[quote:post_uid0="NeoMatrix"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Maybe we can develop relationships as time goes along in the BAWs, like S/C - Sax/Celeste[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ehhh.. I'm taken. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Scarily enough, ZonK started out that way too...[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Actually, ZonK started out in reality before it was a BaW 'ship. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well that just about shoots my synchronsity theory out of the sky then.[/color:post_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"]Well that just about shoots my synchronsity theory out of the sky then.[/quote:post_uid0]
Is synchronsity a real word?[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Darn straight it is. Whether I spelt it right is a whole different matter.[/color:post_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]syn·chro·nic·i·ty[/b:post_uid0]
[i:post_uid0]n. pl.[/i:post_uid0][b:post_uid0] syn·chro·nic·i·ties[/b:post_uid0]

1. The state or fact of being synchronous or simultaneous; synchronism.

2. Coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related, conceived in Jungian theory as an explanatory principle on the same order as causality.


Oh well, PHJ, you were close![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I feel a poll thread coming on... :O :D

[daydream sequence]
[color=green:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]<span style='font-family:Bordeaux Medium'><span style='font-size:10pt;line-height:100%'>Which of the following do you want NAHTMMM to be paired with in upcoming Baw fivers?

*Celeste--that'll teach the little smart-aleck spamming guy! :mad:

*Katy Jane--I really don't want to wish him on Katy, honest! It's just that I'm a frogophobe. :O

*Kira--Zeke'll kill him faster than you can say "rastrami on pie" and we'll finally have some peace around here. :madder:</span></span>[/i:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]
[end daydream sequence]

Ohhhh....then again, er, maybe not. :dead:[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]There once was a [color=purple:post_uid0]veggie[/color:post_uid0] named Zuke
Who had a mishap, 'twas really a fluke.
While living in Polynesia
He came down with amnesia
And became convinced he was really "The Duke"![/i:post_uid0] :D[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]There once was a [color=green:post_uid0]tree frog[/color:post_uid0] named [b:post_uid0]Jane[/b:post_uid0]
Who was caught out in the pouring [color=blue:post_uid0]rain[/color:post_uid0].
She was almost washed away,
But a [color=red:post_uid0]robin[/color:post_uid0] saved the day,
By catching her in his big nest! :smile:

There once was a dog named [b:post_uid0]Celeste[/b:post_uid0]
Who dreamed of being a dentist.
But [b:post_uid0][color=ADA96E:post_uid0]Ril[/color:post_uid0][color=blue:post_uid0]ey[/color:post_uid0][/b:post_uid0] saved us all
By holding her enthralled
So she has no time to cause us pain! ;)[/i:post_uid0]


Wait a minute here.... :S :S ...Something doesn't look quite right...

;)[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]There once was a nice guy named Zeke.
When faced with two !'s, he'd [color=red:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]freak[/color:post_uid0][/i:post_uid0]!
Someone tried it once
And got zonked on the bonce
While the rest of us flinched and said, "[i:post_uid0]Eek![/i:post_uid0]" :O[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]You have a lot of free time.[/color:post_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Look at his post count. Of course he has free time. You should have seen it before we lost the Forum Data.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I wanna placard! Gimme gimme GIMME!

[b:post_uid0]MAKE IT SO[/b:post_uid0]


:D[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[quote:post_uid0="Celeste"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Look at his post count. Of course he has free time. You should have seen it before we lost the Forum Data.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]You should've seen Celeste and my post counts - now those were magnificant :)[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I did. You and Celeste were almost at 1500, and I think NAHTMMM broke 1000. It's shocking and scary to think I am [i:post_uid0]over[/i:post_uid0] the current post count of one of the greats, considering, chronologicly (sp), I'm still a newb. Or n00b. Whatever.[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]First, I'm flattered :)

Second, I've been getting busier and busier lately :) - but, I still like hangin' 'round here.

[i:post_uid0]There one was a poet named NAHT.
Who always would love to chat.
He'd post night and day
In a corny way
'Til we growned and his jokes fell flat.[/i:post_uid0]

Just kiddin' man :)[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Awww, now you're making ME want a limerick thingie. :)



~Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]No offense, sax. I realize you're understating my determination in order to make the poem rhyme. Other than that, it's only too accurate. :D ;)

[i:post_uid0]Somewhere there's a Rommie named [b:post_uid0]Nan[/b:post_uid0]
Who believes that Dan is The Man.
"Star Trek is okay,
But as I always say,
Stargate ROCKS! I'm its #1 fan."[/i:post_uid0]



(That only took me about 5 minutes. "A lot of free time", indeed. :eyeroll: I usually have another 2 or 3 windows open when I come here. I can do stuff and just check back every ten to forty minutes or whatever. So there. ;))[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*is embarrassed by amazingly low post count*[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*is a little concerned to see hers*

Crikey, that's a lot of posts in a few months!


~Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]*is a little concerned to see hers*

Crikey, that's a lot of posts in a few months![/quote:post_uid0]

Look where I am. Distant second to NAHTMMM.

I'm clearly not spending enough time on more important things.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]More important than 5MV? I'm having a little trouble with this concept.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]My post count rate has jumped up alot in the past week or so. I am in the top 20 now, working my way to the top 10.[/color:post_uid0]

[Draknek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, my post count suggests that I've been dead for the few months.

That's actually quite accurate.[/color:post_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Sorry to hear about the dead thing Draknek. Hope things get better. Though I guess anything is better than being Dead.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Well, my post count suggests that I've been dead for the few months.

That's actually quite accurate.[/quote:post_uid0]

Spending a year dead for tax purposes?

Fully dead or mostly dead?

Or are you just pining for the fjords?

(How many cliches can I pack into a single post?)[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]Star Trek: The Five-Minute Generation[/i:post_uid0]

Episode #47 - "Apostrophe of Fear", Part IIa

[i:post_uid0]In an anti-Zeke space station, somewhere high in orbit over Nicaragua...[/i:post_uid0]

Captain Galactic: Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo! I'm in a BaW fiver! Yay me!
Zuke: Sigh. It's not quite what I hoped, but it beats Solihull.
Captain Galactic: Look, I've got "las-er" and everything.
Zuke: Can we just get back to evil plotting please?
Captain Galactic: Alright, but only if we get to play charades again later.

[i:post_uid0]Meanwhile, back on the ZonK Collective flagship...[/i:post_uid0]

FatMat: Does anyone have any ideas at all?
NAH: Um, well, there's always the old 'blow them to smeg method', though that lacks a certain finesse. That reminds me, just why did you destroy the [i:post_uid0]Enterprise-D[/i:post_uid0]?
FatMat: Seemed like the thing to do.
Katy Jane: Could we get back to your plans please?
Sax: Hang on - What are you doin here? I though you were a Zuke supporter.
Katy Jane: Me? Hahah. Where did you get that idea? Hahah. It's not like I'm secretly transmitting your plans to the Supreme Overlord. Hahaha.
Celeste: Hookay. I guess we'll just have to keep thinking then.
Homer: D'oh! I mean, uh, woo-hoo!


Well, I'm pretty much out of ideas for now - it's approx. 1am so I should probably go to bed. I might finish this tomorrow, though anyone else is free to do so if they want.[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Homer! Woo-Hoo![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I was going to include this in the next segment of the series that started this thread, but I may as well get it out of the way so I don't have to limit myself to a time travel story:


[color=red:post_uid0]Celeste:[/color:post_uid0] C'mon, Zeke, tell me: what do you think of my fiver for Star Trek XII? ...Zeke, have you even [i:post_uid0]read[/i:post_uid0] it yet? :suspicious:
[color=purple:post_uid0]Zeke:[/color:post_uid0] Celeste, you gave it to me in January. This is March. Have patience. You know, there were other submissions for other fivers before yours. I can't go giving you special preference all the time. And every so often, this thing called 'real life' intrudes on my consciousness.
[color=red:post_uid0]Celeste:[/color:post_uid0] :eyeroll: Yeah, in January of 2011! This is March of 2023. That's over 12 years!
[color=purple:post_uid0]Zeke:[/color:post_uid0] Yep. Such is life.
[color=blue:post_uid0]SimonBob:[/color:post_uid0] Behind that philosophical facade is a guy who doesn't want to admit he accidentally deleted all his fiver e-mail about seven years ago.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]Star Trek: The Five-Minute Generation[/i:post_uid0]

Episode #47 - "Apostrophe of Fear", Part IIb

PointyHairedJedi: Eureka! I've got it!
FatMat: You have a plan?
PointyHairedJedi: What? No. I was watching something before and it had William Sadler in it except I couldn't remember his name and it was really bugging me and I've only just remembered it.
Sax: Isn't it annoying when that happens?
Nan: I suppose it would be, but I'm usually too busy hitting HellSPAWN with my foam bat to be bothered.
(Transporter sound)
Zuke: What the..? What am I doing here?
Celeste: I got bored of all the yakking so I decided to take the initiative.
Zuke: But I was right in the middle of a game of...
Zeke: Enough! Time for a duel methinks.

Zuke: *Whuumm* At last we meet old man.
Zeke: *Whuuumm* Old? Yeesh. Talk about attack of the clones.
*Whuuum-whuum-kschhhh*
Redshirt#1: GAK!
Zuke: Didn't we do this already?
Zeke: I wanted to give you another chance....
*Skchhhhh-skccccccttt*
Zuke: To redeem myself?
Zeke: For me to make an utter fool of you. It was just so entertaining the first time round.
Redshirt#2: GAK!
Zuke: I think Kira is starting to rub off on you...
*Whuum-whuumm-skchrttt-kschhh*
Zuke: OW! You chopped my arm off!
Zeke: Really?
Zuke: Psych! CG, get me outa here!
Captain Galactic: (over comm) Right away your Supreme Overlordiness.
(Zuke dematerialises)

IAPCR Rep: Stop everything! I'm from the International Agency for the Prevention of Cruelty to Redshirts, and I'm calling a halt to this BaW fiver untill we've investigated it thouroughly.
PointyHairedJedi: But they died instantly! They felt no pain!
IAPCR Rep: Oh. Carry on then.

[i:post_uid0]Back on the Nicaraguan space satation...[/i:post_uid0]

Zuke: Where were the anti-beam out fields?
Captain Galactic: They arrive tuesday.
Zuke: It's not easy being an evil galactic overlord you know....

Andy: Is this ever actually going to end?
PointyHairedJedi: Who knows?
Derek: Who cares? I get a line!
MmeBlueberry: Woo-woo! I get one too!
Professor Frink: Muh-huy-huy!
PointyHairedJedi: It's the best I can do, ok? And on that bizarre note, lets end this for now.

I really, really need some sleep.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Maybe that's Zeke's secret to writing hilarious fivers...he waits until he's really tired to write anything. :)[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Part Not-IIb - What Was The Question?

Captain Galactic: Thank you! Thaaaaank you!
Zuke: *whipcrack* What?
CG: Sorry, had my Universal Translator set to French. Mercy! Meeeercy!
Zuke: Bungler! Get your flunky to install those anti-transport shields.
CG: You heard the man, lacky. Get on it.
Stardust Cowboy: Yessir.


And I'm not even tired. I have this weirdness gland at the base of my brain.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Sax: Isn't it annoying when that happens?
Nan: I suppose it would be, but I'm usually too busy hitting HellSPAWN with my foam bat to be bothered.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]*raucous laughter*

I should really invest in a foam bat for PRECISELY that purpose. :)



Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]O'Pipp: Aaah! *slam* :O
Zeke: Helmsman, Red Alert just activated. What is going on?
O'Pipp: The ship ahead just slammed to a stop out of nowhere! We're gonna collide and explode into a million bajillion pieces, ma'am! :crying:
Zeke: It isn't crunch time yet, Ensign. I'll let you know when.
PHJ: Braking thrusters inoperative, sir! I told ye she couldnae take much more of this!
NAH: I calculate the odds that we will collide and die horribly as being approximately 7,621.4 to 7,613. In other words, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIE! AAAHH! OH NOO--*thunk* urk
Katy Jane: [reprovingly] Captain!
Zeke: He was getting on my nerves. Every time someone uses an exclamation point, I cringe. There's always a chance that they'll slip up and add a second one. Time till impact?
O'Pipp: Estimate ten seconds.
Zeke: Sco--er, PHJ! I need thrusters in five! Helm, sound collision alarm. All hands, brace for impact!
O'Pipp: With pleasure. [bangs on her console]
PHJ: Right. Lemme in there--
O'Pipp: OW! Quit pulling my leg.
PHJ: Thrusters restored, Helm. Hint hint.
O'Pipp: Applying thrusters with glee, sir! :D
Troi: Perhaps the recent storm left an ionic residue on subspace in such a way as to affect the effect of thrusters? --Hey, what am I doing here anyway?
NAH: To deliver that useless line. Now don't ask me anything for a while. I'm busy being unconscious here. :zzz:
Ship: *suddenly comes to an abrupt stop, literally inches from the ship in front*
NAH: *WHUMP* AGH! :dead:
NeoMatrix: What the...? Wasn't he b--I mean, didn't he have his collision restraint thingies engaged? :S :suspicious:
Celeste: [innocently] Oh, I don't know, these things are still in the experimental stage after all, they do seem to mysteriously disengage sometimes...[looks around at everyone looking at her] ...[i:post_uid0]What[/i:post_uid0]? Don't look at me like that. ...[i:post_uid0]Dangit, people, I'm a [b:post_uid0]dentist[/b:post_uid0], not a public safety advocate![/i:post_uid0]
O'Pipp: Yay, saved again by the incredibly skilled helmswoman! With pointy pointy ears, even. :D
PHJ: *ahem*
Zeke: Quite right, PHJ. We all contributed to saving the ship from disaster. Except for Butterfly Boy over there. :eyeroll: Isn't that right, Sp--er, First Officer?
Kira: :eyeroll: How you people can make a game out of almost crashing into a brand-new pickup driven by a big mean-looking guy is totally beyond me. I absolutely refuse to believe I was [i:post_uid0]ever[/i:post_uid0] that young and immature.
Zeke: C'mon, Kira, lighten up. Sheesh, right now I might as well go ahead and call you Spock. Or use you to knock some sense into Butterf--
Kira: Never, EVER, compare my demeanor to that of a wooden first officer again. Clear? Good.
Celeste: Speaking of Butterfly Boy, I get first dibs on his dental work! Muahahahaaaa! --I mean, yippee!
Zeke: Fine, knock yourself out. ...O'Pipp, have you ever driven anything with anti-lock brakes before?
O'Pipp: No, that's why I jumped at the chance to drive this. Variety's the spice of life, you know.
Zeke: Well, I think your spice just gave me several ulcers.
Captain Galactic: Speaking of which, well, not really, but anyway, the pick-up is gone now. Let's get going.
O'Pipp: Oh, yes, of course.

[i:post_uid0](The minivan zooms off at Ludicrous Speed. Much to Zeke's further dismay.)[/i:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I won't ask what inspired that piece of funny wierdness.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Woo hoo, I was the captain of a ship, with Celeste as my Commander/Number One.

If that ship caused a fender bender, there would have been some Space Rage going on.[/color:post_uid0]

[Anonymous]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]PHJ, you rule. I should really try to fake working on the computers more often. I completely forgot to check this thread.[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Sorry, NAHTMMM...
I...forgot to read yours. And I like to post guest at school, and you can't edit...thanks for the line!![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Apostrophe of Fear, Part IIia

Draknek: How are preparations for the defense of Earth coming along?
Sa'ar Chasm: Quite well, though I'm not quite sure why we're acting like this.
Celeste: Heeeeyyy--hold on just a moment! I seem to recall being elected Dictator of Earth for Life or something a while back. So I'm in control of all you people. And I'm a ZonKer, so I say we welcome them with open arms!
Katy Jane: Sounds good to me. I'm freezing out here. What's for dinner?
Saxamaphone: Appropriately enough, chili. :smile:
Chili Joke Police: :suspicious:...
Saxamaphone: ...What? I'm innocent. I haven't done anything.

Captain Galactic: No, I've got it now! We'll act dead in the water when they arrive, so they'll think we're just a harmless satellite, but when they close in for the sack, we'll power up and launch a bomb downfield to one of the wide receivers--
Zuke: Galactic, you idiot, that's a football play. And a stupid one at that.
CG: Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.
*Buzz*
Communications Redshirt: Sirs, you have a call coming in, Line One.
Celeste: I order you two to surrender immediately.
Zuke: Nuts! *looks around hopefully*
Patton: Forget it, bud. I died years ago.
Zuke: Aw, nuts.
Celeste: Surrender already! I'm getting impatient. Riley needs a walk.
Zuke: Bwahahaa! What're you going to do if I don't surrender? My shields can stand up to any missile, torpedo, or phaser weapon. Nyaah! :p
Celeste: If you don't surrender, I'll send Chakotay up to pilot your station.
Zuke: :O AAAAAAHHHHH!
CG: No, it's [i:post_uid0]my[/i:post_uid0] station! [i:post_uid0]Mine![/i:post_uid0]
Zuke: I have altered our agreement. Pray that I do not alter it further.
CG: Eep! ...Yes, m'lord.

Zeke: NAH, what [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] it with you and Chakotay jokes?
NAH: And pie jokes, and Troi jokes, and Topic Title jokes, and eggplant jokes, and...are you seeing the pattern here? ;)
Opium: Unfortunately, yes.

MmeBlueberry: How are you going to end this installment?
NAH: I guess like this. I can't seem to think of anything else to do.
PointyHairedJedi: I hate it when that happens, don't you, Neo?
NeoMatrix: Oh, yes, yes, I agree. Whatever'll get me a line here. :)
mudshark: I quite agree with Neo.
NAH: Actually, I suppose I could do like Katy did last time and include a stunning parentage revelation...
The Squid: Er, maybe not. I think I'm still recovering from the discovery that I've got a famous anchorman for a father...

[i:post_uid0](The ZonK flagship continues toward Earth at Ludicrous Speed)[/i:post_uid0]

----------
Questions or comments about this fiver? Meh. :p


;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]:D Wow. I've turned into a major plot device. Or something. *he...wait...shouln't I be being payed royalties for all you guys using my name? I demand justice.

...

Um...yes. It was very funny. Thank you.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]With apologies in advance to the Croce family and anyone else who feels traumatized by this:



[i:post_uid0]On the west side of Canada
Somewhere north of Washington
Well if you go out there, you better just beware
of Nan the Romulan

Now Nan, she a fivist
And she like her smegs and 'deeds
And she like to drink her blue blue ale
But she hates that smokin' weed
She fights O'Pipp off of Jonas
Yeah, her life is never dull
She call 'em like she see 'em and as a bonus
She got fiving in her soul

And she's Nan (Nan) Nan (Nan) the Romulan
Evil 'n' mysterious 'n' Canadian
Eviler than Suliban
Mysteriouser than Smoking Man[/i:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]:howls:

You better watch out, she might just kill you for that. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="taya17"]You better watch out, she might just kill you for that. :D[/quote:post_uid0]
:O Â She [i:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]can't[/b:post_uid0][/i:post_uid0] kill me! I actually rhymed "Jonas"! That has to count for super-duper points or something![/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]What did I do to deserve a filk? ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Haha - I dunno - but it's fantismo :)[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]well i guess she was just being herself.

[i:post_uid0]Nan inspires people to filk![/i:post_uid0]

:lol:[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Nan"]What did I do to deserve a filk? ;)[/quote:post_uid0]
Your name fit in the line
[quote:post_uid0]And she's Nan (Nan) Nan (Nan) the Romulan[/quote:post_uid0]
and the line
[quote:post_uid0]She got fiving in her soul[/quote:post_uid0]
spontaneously occured to me, and things just kinda went from there. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The Jonas rhyming thing WAS clever. :)

I'll post it on my blog. ;)

[quote:post_uid0]Nan inspires people to filk![/quote:post_uid0]

Filk, hell. People have DREAMS in which I figure! People I've never actually met! ;)

It's like.... weeeeeird. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, it figures, cos

[i:post_uid0]she's Nan (Nan) Nan (Nan) the Romulan
Evil 'n' mysterious 'n' Canadian
Eviler than Suliban
Mysteriouser than Smoking Man
[/i:post_uid0]

Naturally you'd be taking over people's subconsciousness.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Naturally you'd be taking over people's subconsciousness.[/quote:post_uid0]

With pink hair.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Naturally you'd be taking over people's subconsciousness.[/quote:post_uid0]

With pink hair.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]In ENGLAND!

Lordy. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Mucking out a horse barn.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I thought I was an anti-War protester.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yes, you were an anti-war protestor mucking out a horse barn.[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Something tells me I'm a member of a political minority on this board.

EDIT: Just noticed.

[i:post_uid0]What is the MaTux?[/i:post_uid0]

Clever. I like it. Thankyaverymuch.

DoubleEdit (patent pending) Post 100. Woooo![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]And what political minority would that be?[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Pro-War, republican, conservative, right-winged![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh well, then you just might be :p
I'm anti-war, and, uhm, Groen-links (couldn't help it :D ), socialistic that is, and I don't believe I'm winged ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'm-on-the-fence War, moderate republican, Balanced Winged[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Antiwar, and either elitist socialist or liberalism-tempered-with-cynicism.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Apparently I'm not as good at English as I'd like to be. I'm left winged.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ah. This could get confusing. In the UK the meanings for left- and right-wing are reversed to what they mean in the US. Which, needless to say, results on extreme confusion on my part.

But anyway. I'm sorta vaguly pro-war (but not very), right-wing (or left depending on where you live), and very definitly anti-Bush. Because he's an idiot. Why can't we just have Martin Sheen int eh Whitehouse and be done with it? It would certainly be a lot more interesting.

Anyhoo - how exactly did we get from subconcious-invading-people-with-pink-hair in England shoveling horse manure, to personal politics? That's a bit bizarre even for us.[/color:post_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I don't know. I seem to zone in and out of topic postings now and then. Anyone want Chessman cookies? Was picking up things at the grocery store today and I went hungry. Bad move on my part. Anyway the pepperidge farm Chessman cookies rock.

And if you don't have them where you are, feel deprived.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Chessman? I can't say I've heard of that particualr brand. I'll just have to console myself with pie.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Ah. This could get confusing. In the UK the meanings for left- and right-wing are reversed to what they mean in the US. Which, needless to say, results on extreme confusion on my part.[/quote:post_uid0]
Is that an English or American thing? Now I'm confused too. In the Netherlands, extreme left is communism, extreme right is Hitler-Germany.

[quote:post_uid0]Anyhoo - how exactly did we get from subconcious-invading-people-with-pink-hair in England shoveling horse manure, to personal politics? That's a bit bizarre even for us.[/quote:post_uid0]
I don't know, but this time, I think I [i:post_uid0]did[/i:post_uid0] have something to do with it. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="catalina_marina"]Is that an English or American thing? Now I'm confused too. In the Netherlands, extreme left is communism, extreme right is Hitler-Germany.[/quote:post_uid0]

I think that's the same as the UK - as I said, the whole thing just gets me utterly and hopelessly confuddled.[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]That's the same here - but that's extreme, extreme of either side, the truth lies in the middle, unless your Stalin or Hitler.

I'm extremely left wing. I'm a humanist libratarian. Something like that.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Of course it's extreme, that's to make things clear.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Left-wing: socialist, liberal, Democrat, etc.

Right-wing: conservative, Republican.

It comes from the seating arrangements of the French revolutionary government (with the royal-killings, etc). Those in favour of advancing the revolution sat on the left of the "speaker" or whomever. Those in favour of slowing down or against revolution sat on the right.

Sorta. That's probably partly off because I only woke up an hour ago. ;)

As for why I found Sa'ar's dream funny is that:

1.) my hair is purple-ish, not pink (I loathe pink),
2.) I'm not in England, nor am I English (Canada),
3.) I'm in no way connected with horses,
4.) I wasn't anti-War.

I'm a moderate, neither far right or left, on the fence as to unilateral war (UN backed would likely have been different), etc...

That's why it was funny. :)[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Really? That's weird. 8|
Here, left is socialism, communism, etc. People who believe everyone (rich and poor, black and white) should have the same rights. Right is liberalism, capitalism and christians.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]That's pretty much how it is everywhere.

Although some cutting-edge political thinkers - who obviously have nothing useful to do with their time - put a second axis on the political spectrum, so we now have an economic (fiscal) axis and an authoritarian axis. This makes it easier to distinguish between leftists life Gandhi and Stalin.[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]For further explaination of what Sa'ar is refering too, check this (http://www.politicalcompass.org/) out.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]hmmm. that would make me more or less left-leaning.

I'm more or less anti-war. But with the iraq war... i don't really know about that one. I agree that saddam had to be gotten rid of, but surely there was a better way to do it other than a unilateral war?

but then again, what does ignorant little me know? :)[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]You know plenty - (scrolls up)

Don't feel too bad CG, I believe you hold simular view with Zeke. :)

BTW - if it's hard to classify your political views, you can always click on my previously posted link - there's a little test that might help you out :)

Pom-Pom, for the block, do you agree?[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh this is HILARIOUS. :D

Economic Left/Right: -3.88
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -5.49

Somewhere between Nelson Mandela, Jean Chretien, and the Dalai Lama.

Nelson Mandela being a somewhat revered figure here (in Canada), and His Holiness the Dalai Lama just being revered, and Chretien being sort of cool... I'd say I'm pretty happy with that. ;)

I scored so low on the authoritarian scale... I'm almost disappointed.

Ehh, there's a a little despot in all of us. ;)

Try everyone! Post your results! This could be interesting.

That Iconochasms thing was cool. I got four wrong, though. Shameful. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Economic Left/Right: -6.38
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -6.31

Past the Dalai Lama and Nelson Mandela. There used to be a chart where they showed some more historical figures and hwere they fit on the compass - I'm a little more left and liberal than Ghandi. Of course, those are my views - I'm not ready to live in a hut and go on a hunger stri.e ;)


Hehe, nice Nan :)[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I tried yesterday, but I got cut off because it was 3 am :([/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Economic Left/Right: -4.12
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -3.38

I have no idea what that actually means.[/color:post_uid0]

[entei]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]According to the test, I'm pretty extreme left. More so than Saddam Hussein I think. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Economic Left/Right: -8.12
Authoritarian/Libertarian: 2.77

Hmmm... perhaps I should post the results of this test in my LJ as well. Every other quiz/test seems to end up there. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Economic Left/Right: -4.12
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -3.38

I have no idea what that actually means.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Who were you close to on the graph?[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quote:post_uid0="Saxamaphone"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Don't feel too bad CG, I believe you hold simular view with Zeke. :)[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Very much so. I try not to remind PHJ of that. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Economic Left/Right: -6.62
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -5.28

Close to Nelson Mandela and The Dalai Lama

I don't know the system, I don't know the people... so what does it mean?[/color:post_uid0]

[MmeBlueberry]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Economic Left/Right: -4.38
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -0.05

Impressive for someone who's been Southern Baptist all her life and considers herself very conservative. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Economic Left/Right: -0.25
Authoritarian/Libertarian: 0.15

You couldn't even tell the dot wasn't on (0,0).[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I took this one a while ago. IIRC, I scored something like:

Economic Left/Right: -3.xx
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -3.xx

It put me in the lower left quadrant, a little to the right of Gandhi.

Heigh ho.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Who were you close to on the graph?[/quote:post_uid0]

Somewhere between Nelson Mandela and John Cretien (sorry if it's spelled wrong).

[quote:post_uid0]Very much so. Â I try not to remind PHJ of that.[/quote:post_uid0]

Bush has to be the the most singularly moronic man who has ever held the post of President of the United States. In fairness though, part of my dislake of him can be shared by the American electoral system. If it wasn't for [i:post_uid0]that[/i:post_uid0] then Gore would be in office and hopefully doing things slightly better.

Sorry. When it comes to politics I can't really seem to help myself. Used to drive my friends nuts actually.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Economic Left/Right: -4.75
Authoritarian/Libertarian: 0.51

Putting me closest to the Pope. Which is odd, because I seem to recall getting *two* negative scores last time. Of course the wording etc. affects the score somewhat.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Just where do I go to do that?[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Right about here. (http://www.politicalcompass.org)[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Economic Left/Right: -5.00
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -2.62


I'll be a benign dictator.[/color:post_uid0]

[entei]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]So I still have the highest Left score so far, according to that quiz. Everybody will now tremble at my feet (No doubt caused by the odour :D )[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]EL/R: 2.00
A/L: 0.56

Am I the only one with double-positives? Shweet.
Closer to Tony Blair than Bush. Little more Libertarian, I think.

No offence, PHJ, but if Gore won (or if Clinton was still in power *hehehe* (http://www.powervacuum.org/article.pl?sid=03/05/29/1734243)) , the U.S. would be in marshall law after 9/11, Iraq would have nuked, gassed, bugged, hacked, stabbed, and generally attacked us, and the economy would be ruined. But on the bright side, all of my dad's emergeny rations would be put to good use :D .[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Economic Left/Right: -2.12
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -1.79



Freaky. It puts me pretty close to Jean Chretien on the graph....

Why are there no famous right libertarians?[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Sorry. When it comes to politics I can't really seem to help myself.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hence, "I try not to remind PHJ of that." The intent of the sentence wasn't to remind PHJ of that. ;)

Incidentally, last time I took that test I got the same kind of result as Derek: dead centre. Tests usually place me more centrist than I think I am. If I recall correctly, the only direction I was even nudged in was authoritarian.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Cat, here's some info.

(I may have gotten stuff wrong, this is all off the top of my head, so if you guys can help me out here...)

Nelson Mandela is the hero of the anti-apartheid (and libertarian) group. The apartheid regime was basically a white colonialist regime in South Africa, that figured racism as a governmental policy was a jolly idea. Mandela is a symbol of freedom, and despite being retired from the presidency for many a year now he is still a current figure (I believe Thabo Mbeki is the current leader of SA, but I'm not sure). He's also involved in the AIDS issue, was the first black president of South Africa, etc. Big hero, lots and lots and LOTS of decorations. Like the Nobel Peace Prize. A year or two ago he was given honourary citizenship here, and has had a Canadian school named after him (I think), honourary doctorate, and I THINK the Order of Canada (highest honour here). Loads of stuff like that.

One of the Canadian Alliance (a far-right party) guys called him a terrorist and then refused to see him face to face to sort out the issue. Mandela did use economic sabotage and other, not so pretty methods, but wasn't a warlord.

Here's his BBC biography: ... (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/1454208.stm)

The Dalai Lama is the supreme head of...... I believe it's the Mahayana sect of Buddhism. He is, according to Mahayana tenets, the reincarnation of... I can't remember. A Buddha, I think (there are many, sort of). Basically, the spiritual leader of Tibet in exile. He was nearly disappeared by the Chinese government. the Communists were NOT kind to the Tibetans, smashing their temples and generally wrecking their stuff as symbols of the old--and thus soiled, impure, corrupt, inferrior, anti-revolutionary, anti-socialist, etc--regime. Note to future youth: cultural revolution = BAD IDEA. His followers spirited him away through the Himalayas to India. He is not recognized by most governments because of China. More a symbol, really, but he wrote a book or two. A google search should turn up a million or so hits. I've forgotten his actual name.

He's the symbol of hope for the Tibetans (China occupies Tibet and is brutalizing the Tibetans), and a revered figure in many countries. You may have heard of the Free Tibet movement. Actually, a friend of my sister's married a Tibetan (Pema Dolma).

He came to Victoria a few years ago (about an hour's journey sound by car). I was ticked when I only found out much later.

Some info on the Dalai Lama here: ... (http://www.dalailama.com/)

Jean Chretien is our current PM, going to retire soon. He's one of the Old Guard Liberals, Pierre Trudeau's close friend. Trudeau is oft described as the sort of "father" of modern Canada, but Chretien did a fair bit of grunt work (as with the FLQ terrorists in the 70s). He's a Francophone from Quebec. Those not in the know, i.e. the people putting out the deck of cards which say he's "more French than Canadian" have made a glaring error: he's not French. Quebec isn't French, they don't speak "Parisian" French, different government, didfferent political alignment. Stupid people. Anyway, he and Bush don't get along that well, being on opposite sides of a large political divide. Issues of divergance include: Kyoto, the anti-landmine treaty (actually a Chretien administration project), softwood lumber tariffs, wheat tariffs, security, etc. Chretien has seen... what, three American presidents as PM? Been in federal politics since the 60s. Long in the tooth. And since he's retiring, not afraid to tick people off. Which just amuses me, but I'm odd that way. ;)

My mum likes Chretien, and you can't really blame her. Those safety nets are sort of why I'm, you know, alive right now. Seriously, not joking.

BBC's profile, sorta: ... (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/country_profiles/1198865.stm)

Offical govt. site: ... (http://pm.gc.ca/)

Everybody KNOWs who the other guys are..... right?

Nan, compulsive political analyst (it's all my dad's fault)[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I can see the resemblence between me and Nelson Mandela, but I'm not quite sure about the Dalai Lama...

[quote:post_uid0]anti-apartheid[/quote:post_uid0]
Really? I always wondered how you pronounce words like that... ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]anti-apartheid

Really? I always wondered how you pronounce words like that... [/quote:post_uid0]

Well, it was a Dutch word to begin with, so unless the Boers mangled it unrecognisably, however you pronounce it should be close to what it should be.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]No, really, how we pronounce it is exactly what it should be. If the Boers mangled it unrecognisably, they got it wrong. ;)

But what I meant was, how you, people of America, Canada, Singapore, Australia and whatever other countries you're from, pronounce it. Especially the ei.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]CG - Bah. He's still an idiot. Not to mention he's completely at the beck and call of American Big Buisness.

CM - I've always pronounced 'apart-eyed'. How is it you pronounce it?[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yeah, we pronounce it apart-eyed as well :)

I'm libertarian enough that I've stoped arguing with people, even for fun - it's gotten exhausting, course I still do it now and again, over things like "That was my ham on rye you just ate!" rather than "That was someone else's people they just oppressed!"[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The problem is, few languages have the ei- (or ij-) sound. I don't think English does. It's in the French Marseille, but I have no idea how to explain it otherwise.
Michiel, a little help please?[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]"Marseille" in English is "mar-say."

Here, anyway.

By "ij" you mean something like "ayee"?

Some people pronounce it aparth-eyed. I've heard it with a "th" sound instead of a "t", but a very soft, barely noticeable "th". most common is apart-eyed. That I've found, anyway.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Economic Left/Right: -7.88
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -5.28

But um, I'm not really extreme... I just went for the more anti-corprate stance today...[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"]CG - Bah. He's still an idiot. Not to mention he's completely at the beck and call of American Big Buisness.[/quote:post_uid0]
You may want to skip this. It's a boring analysis, and I'll shut up after this so as to avoid alienating too many people.

>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

Pointy has a... well, point.

Bush Jr. has a number of black smears on his career, starting with the fact that he may or may not have actually been ELECTED.

Then there was his pulling out of Kyoto. The US being, by far, the greatest polluter on the planet makes that a decision of DUBIOUS moral standing at best.

Then there was the anti-landmine treaty. I had a relative who, while chopping wood inthe forest in Poland years after the war, stepped on an unexploded landmine and got his leg blown off. Mines = evil. Mind, Russia also refused. Of course, the Russians have a truly and unabashedly [b:post_uid0]barbarous[/b:post_uid0] history with landmines. Systematically seeding Afghanistan from the air with mines designed to fall slowly and spread over as wide an area as possible counts as barbarous. As does boobytrapping little girl's dolls with mines. And, I believe, China refused to sign. China, who makes the family pay for the bullets required to execute their relative. Truly stellar company.

Then there's the illegal (according to the WTO for I believe the THIRD time) tariffs on softwood. And the tariffs on wheat. Supposedly, wheat farmers in Canada are "subsidized." Bit rich coming from an administration which openly subsidizes ITS farmers.

Then there was his administration's plan to pipe oil from Alaska to the States proper. Which would go through Canada. He neglected to realize that would involve asking the Canadian government for permission. That's just pertaining to Canada. That doesn't count the alienation of the UN, the wider destabilization of the world, the Iraq debacle, Afghanistan, the alienation of NATO, the somewhat steep decline in international esteem for the US, the attempts to put weapons in space, etc etc.

Though Condoleezza Rice is fairly competant (IIRC), his attorney general has disconcerting fascistic leanings. John Ashcroft. They guy who lost a lower level election to a dead man. They guy on a KKK list of people they'd like to see in the White House (him and Pat Buchanan, Mr. AIDS is divine revenge on gay people). The guy who accepted an honourary degree from a university which has a ban on interracial dating (bit of a political gaffe, that).

Bush DOES have the AIDS thing to his credit, though.

For me it's not a partisan issue, but one of basic lack of experience, and to a degree, creative thinking.

------ end rant.

I heard Kissinger's new book is good. Anybody read it?[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Not to belittle anyone's emotional pain here, but Ashcroft lost because Jean was bright enough to announce she was running for Mel's sake (or whatever her wording was) and then sit tight and let the sympathy vote pour in. ;) But yeah, that's gotta be embarrassing for Ashcroft.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]That I knew.

But he STILL lost to a dead guy. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Guess the dead man scared the people Missouri less ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]"Marseille" in English is "mar-say."[/quote:post_uid0]
Then it's hopeless. There's no way to explain.

[quote:post_uid0]By "ij" you mean something like "ayee"?[/quote:post_uid0]
Nope. But I guess it's the closest thing.

Lost to a dead guy? We had something like that recently. His name is Pim Fortuyn. Very extreme, very dead, very much elected to minister president (AFTER he died). Of course it didn't last long, but still.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]That was all over the news here a while back. Frankly more scary was what (nearly) happened in France. The BNP getting worryingly high numbers of votes in Oldham (among other places) pales in comparison.

Nan - Something we can agree on at last! Wasn't there also some chemical weapons treaty that they ducked out of? And something to do with nuclear arms reduction too, if I remember rightly. Maybe his next election campaign will feature the slogan "Bush - Making the World a More Dangerous Place".[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quote:post_uid0="catalina_marina"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]"Marseille" in English is "mar-say."[/quote:post_uid0]
Then it's hopeless. There's no way to explain.

[quote:post_uid0]By "ij" you mean something like "ayee"?[/quote:post_uid0]
Nope. But I guess it's the closest thing.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]As I understand it, the word "apartheid" was pronounced, at least in South Africa, as if it were "apart-hate" or "apart-heydh" (to English-speaking ears.) The [i:post_uid0]ei[/i:post_uid0] sound falls somewhere between a long A and a long I sound.

Growing up, though, I always heard it pronounced like "apart-hide".[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Pim Fortuyn? He was assassinated, wasn't he? And wasn't he, like, a fascist?

Ah, fascism, AKA "national socialism". It's great! unless, you're, y'know, gay, Jewish, Black, female, or poor!

What was that about NAtional soZIalists I saw recently...? :dead:

Fascists suck, like Le Pen. The French word for "wanker" escapes me.

[quote:post_uid0]Nan - Something we can agree on at last![/quote:post_uid0]
The only thing I remember us disagreeing on before was David Lynch's Dune. ;)

What can I say, I have a bit of a soft spot for Pommies. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Okay, I think I'm a little indecisive, because yesterdays results were rather different...
Economic Left/Right: -5.25
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -3.74

Bush isnt a president, he's a puppet, a lost son, and, oh, that's right, he really wasnt voted in anyways. Bush is selfish, he cares more about rich Americans than anyone else, he likes "patriotism" because it makes rich people richer, he dislikes Canadains because we have different, democratic, freedom-based, caring system that WORKS. Same with Germany and France.

And the campaign to slander France. Hmmm, let's see, who has had war, real, serious, bloody, long-lasting war on their soil in the last 60 years? France. They know the price. Americans dont. Americans had a great crime commited agaist them when 9/11 happened, but that does not mean you should automatically support everything American.

Or maybe I'll start supporting everything from Sierra Leone, because they have to face terror much greater than Americans every single day. They have to see it. They have to live it. Does Bush care about them? Nope. He isnt about anti-terror, he's pro-making-rich-Americans-rich. He's abused 9/11 and its victims for his own purposes.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Opium"]Americans had a great crime commited agaist them when 9/11 happened, but that does not mean you should automatically support everything American.[/quote:post_uid0]
I totally agree on this. Just because 9/11 happened doesn't mean that everything in America's interest is automatically everything in the world's best interests!

:p @ Bush[/color:post_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]My conservative blood is pumping! Anger...rising...REPUBLICAN SMASH! REPUBLICAN CRUSH! REPUBLICAN...

...ooops...I'm not the hulk.

[quote:post_uid0]Hmmm, let's see, who has had war, etc, etc[/quote:post_uid0]
(my copy & paste thing is screwed up, sorry)

Hmmm, let's see, who would be speaking german now if the U.S. hadn't interveined?

Hmmm, let's see, who planted trees all along their roads because the Nazis were feeling hot marching in the sun?

Hmmm, let's see, who surrendered?

And the reason no-one has invaded the U.S. openly is because we'd know about it! To move an entire army, they'd have to use big planes and big ships. Big metal things with 2,000 people on them move slowly. Certainly slow enough so that we can bomb or otherwise cut off the invasion with nearly 100% Â stop..i...ness.
And despite some, now apparant, political divisions, Canada and Mexico aren't going to stage an invasion anytime soon.

[quote:post_uid0]he wasn't voted in anyway[/quote:post_uid0]

There are two usual arguments for this.

1. The hanging chad /"I meant to vote for Gore!" stuff.

Those people voted for the person they punched for. Doesn't matter their intent. If I see some gum on the wheel of my car, and drive back and forth to try and get it off, and there just happens to be a man right in front of the tire, and you roll back and forth across his body, you still are charged for murder, or at least manslaughter. And they should have drunk more coffee in the morning. They should be able to punch a little hole in a card. And they should get some glasses.

2. The supreme court stuff

Gore would not accept that he lost, so he kept petitioning for recounts. Because of Al's stubborn disbelief, the American public (and the world) was duped into believing that Bush was not voted in.

And no offence Canada, but we can choose our own doctors, and the doctors aren't paid for by the government. We can switch healthcare plans. You call socialization freedom?

The landmine thing.

I'm not sure if we use landmines, but the company you keep doesn't influence you, for the most part. I'm still conservative, even spending my free time here. So don't go writing off America as a barbaric nation just because we didn't sign a treaty. Maybe Russia and China didn't like it for different reasons than the U.S.

And John Ashcroft...you're completly right. He's a lunatic. The patriot act bans model rockets! You can have my rockets the same time you get my guns-when you pry them from my cold dead hands.

He lost to a dead guy. That's why he's pro-life.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]This (http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Korea/EF19Dg02.html) says it all really. If there's one thing Bush is big on (apart from war) it's hypocrisy.

[quote:post_uid0]Hmmm, let's see, who would be speaking german now if the U.S. hadn't interveined?

Hmmm, let's see, who planted trees all along their roads because the Nazis were feeling hot marching in the sun?

Hmmm, let's see, who surrendered?[/quote:post_uid0]

Yes, I seem to remember though that it took a [i:post_uid0]direct attack[/i:post_uid0] on American soil by the Japanese before the US deigned to enter the fray. Never mind the fact that an evil fascist dictatorship was intent on taking over the the whole of Europe and Russia. How much quicker would the war have been over if the US had joined in two years earlier? How many less lives would have been lost? How many less Jews would have been murdered? As it was Britain came perrilously close to losing. I guess in a perverted way we can thank the then Japanese govenrment for bringing the US in at all.

And of course, lets not forget that the US remains the ONLY nation in the world to date that has dropped nuclear weapons in war time. On two heavily populated cities no less, where the effects of the radiation are still being felt today.

And now we come to the French - America's next military target if the Republicans get their way. Let's skip the history and the fact that their army wasn't really any match for the Axis forces in the first place. Let's skip the fact that there were collaberators as there were in every other country that had been invaded. This [i:post_uid0]really[/i:post_uid0] is all about the U.N. not rolling over and doing what the US wanted it to, though of course it was in fact Tony Blair who persuaded Dubya to take that route - George's first choice was to bypass them completely. Something that he seemed to forget once the lambasting of the French began. Yes, the French's position that they were going to say no to any Resoloution is on the face of it unreasonable, but not when you consider the fact that they rightly saw that the US was going to declare war on Iraq no matter what, in which case I feel that they should stand up and take a bow for refusing to let the U.N. be [i:post_uid0]used[/i:post_uid0] in such a manner.

[quote:post_uid0]1. The hanging chad /"I meant to vote for Gore!" stuff.[/quote:post_uid0]

Frankly, it's about time the whole freakin' US electoral system was changed. It's anything BUT democratic when a nation gets a president that the majority of the voters didn't actualy vote for.

[quote:post_uid0]2. The supreme court stuff[/quote:post_uid0]

American courts are far too politisized - especially the higher courts. Leave politics to the polititians!

[quote:post_uid0]And no offence Canada, but we can choose our own doctors, and the doctors aren't paid for by the government. We can switch healthcare plans. You call socialization freedom?[/quote:post_uid0]

Yes. The freedom not to die of a perfectly treatable disease or illness just because you can't afford to pay for treatment of it. People get all fired up about the Third World and drugs companies, and rightly so, but in some ways the US healthcare system is just as bad.

[quote:post_uid0]I totally agree on this. Just because 9/11 happened doesn't mean that everything in America's interest is automatically everything in the world's best interests![/quote:post_uid0]

If only someone would tell Mr. Bush that. Because the sycophants and yes-men he's surrounded by don't seem to be able to.

[quote:post_uid0]Or maybe I'll start supporting everything from Sierra Leone, because they have to face terror much greater than Americans every single day. They have to see it. They have to live it. Does Bush care about them? Nope. He isnt about anti-terror, he's pro-making-rich-Americans-rich. He's abused 9/11 and its victims for his own purposes.[/quote:post_uid0]

I had a teacher from Sierra Leone back when I lived on the Scottish mainland. Great guy. It makes you think - if Bush is so all-fired up about bringing democracy to those that don't have it, what about places like this? I mean, has Dubya even [i:post_uid0]heard[/i:post_uid0] of Africa? Of course not. And what about Burma? They've been in the news for the past few days for yet more flagrant and very public human rights voilations. Have the US govenrnment said anything? Nope. Of course they DID mention Iran - widely bandied about as a possible target for more military action, something not very strenuously denied by the administration - and all those demonstrations and denoucments of the ruling Islamic dictators by varoius people. What did we get? A "We support democracy" message from the US. I guess they're a bit miffed that they might not be able to invade after all.

Oil. Those three little letters that have so much impact. Anyone that says oil has nothing to do with the Iraq war is either a fool or one o'them Republicans with interests in Big Oil. I'm sure that oil also had something to do with the French, Russian and Chinese denoucments of any war way back before it started. And I'm sure that it has to do plenty with the US's relationship with the sometimes less than savoury govenrments of countries like Saudi Arabia.


Me? Get carried away? I don't know what you're talking about.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Growing up, though, I always heard it pronounced like "apart-hide".[/quote:post_uid0]
That's what I thought most non-Dutch people would pronounce it.

[quote:post_uid0]The ei sound falls somewhere between a long A and a long I sound.[/quote:post_uid0]
It sounds better. I think it's the best description I've ever heard, although if I didn't know, I wouldn't know what to make of it.

[quote:post_uid0]Pim Fortuyn? He was assassinated, wasn't he? And wasn't he, like, a fascist?[/quote:post_uid0]
Yes and yes. He thought the Netherlands are for dutch people, so he wouldn't have let any refugees in. The assasin, ahem, murderer, thought he was a very dangerous man for the Netherlands. Which, obviously, he was.
That's my opinion anyway. A lot of people would have voted for him, and even more people still did. It was some kind of remembrance. I think that's completely nuts and very stupid. You do NOT vote for a dead man! :S

[quote:post_uid0]Ah, fascism, AKA "national socialism". It's great! unless, you're, y'know, gay, Jewish, Black, female, or poor![/quote:post_uid0]
Actually, he was gay. :lol:

[quote:post_uid0]Hmmm, let's see, who would be speaking german now if the U.S. hadn't interveined?[/quote:post_uid0]
I guess I would, but I also guess I wouldn't have minded. Do Irish people mind they speak English? And then I wouldn't have as much trouble with German as I do. Would have more with English, maybe.

[quote:post_uid0]Hmmm, let's see, who planted trees all along their roads because the Nazis were feeling hot marching in the sun?[/quote:post_uid0]
Who was that? I don't remember anything in my history lessons about that.

[quote:post_uid0]Hmmm, let's see, who surrendered?[/quote:post_uid0]
We only surrended after four or five days. Which is four or five the time they expected. And only after they completely bombed down one of our most important, if not the most, cities. But what would you do, if you have almost no defenses at al?

[quote:post_uid0]1. The hanging chad /"I meant to vote for Gore!" stuff.
2. The supreme court stuff[/quote:post_uid0]
3. I wasn't allowed to vote. :p

[quote:post_uid0]Yes, I seem to remember though that it took a direct attack on American soil by the Japanese before the US deigned to enter the fray. Never mind the fact that an evil fascist dictatorship was intent on taking over the the whole of Europe and Russia. How much quicker would the war have been over if the US had joined in two years earlier? How many less lives would have been lost? How many less Jews would have been murdered? As it was Britain came perrilously close to losing.[/quote:post_uid0]
Well said. :D

[quote:post_uid0]I guess in a perverted way we can thank the then Japanese govenrment for bringing the US in at all.[/quote:post_uid0]
I never thought of it like that. But I guess you're right.

[quote:post_uid0]Yes, it does the French's position that they were going to say no to any Resoloution is on the face of it unreasonable, but not when you consider the fact that they rightly saw that the US was going to declare war on Iraq no matter what, in which case I feel that they should stand up and take a bow for refusing to let the U.N. be used in such a manner.[/quote:post_uid0]
I wouldn't have joined if I were the French goverment either, although I can understand why our government joined (only official). Picture defendless little Holland vs. big powerfull US. It doesn't end well.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Now you've got both my Canadian AND German blood pumping!


First off, not only can us Canadians pick any *&%$^ doctor we want, we are always covered in emergencies. Our poor are even treated with the same respect as everyone else! Plus, you get to have capitalistic freedoms all you want! In fact, since we introduced 3P (public/private partnerships) in Canada, we have realized just how flawed "private" healthcare is.

And guess what? For around 14 years of German history, there was a brutal dictator. Wow. 14 years. And since then, Germany has faught back, Germany has become a haven of safety, security, and respect. The roady hasnt been easy, and it has been bumpy, but heck, if Germany decided to rule the world tomorrow, I'de happily improve my German. But guess what! Germany doesnt have any silly "take-over-the-world" plan! The USA wants to do it with all it's corporations and political beliefs.

And to tell you the truth, that's what's wrong with the USA. A BASIC lack of respect for OTHER NATIONS and the MANY OTHER FREE, DEMOCRATIC NATIONS in this world besides the US of A. The USA is a great nation. It's ONE of the best. But it's this arrogance, this silly notion that everything American is good, that's the problem. The majority of Americans are obviously hard-working, good people. (Just like the rest of the world.) or the USA would not be so rich. But it's this arrogance, this striving for always more, more, more that will either destroy the USA or destroy the Earth. And that's mostly done by a greedy minority of Americans.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]For around 14 years of German history, there was a brutal dictator. Wow. 14 years.[/quote:post_uid0]
12 by my count. From 1933 to 1945.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Good point. I was counting the pre-vote insanity, but officially you're right.[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quote:post_uid0="Captain Galactic"][color=#000000:post_uid0]We can switch healthcare plans.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, yes, we can switch healthcare plans if we happen to be employed by a company/a member of a union which provides one, or are reasonably well-off enough to be able to afford the premiums on our own. Problem is: this leaves out a substantial portion of the population.
[quote:post_uid0]The landmine thing.

I'm not sure if we use landmines, [/quote:post_uid0]Oh, yes. Lots.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh, one other thing about Canadian health care. We do have health insurance for non-essentials, and we have choices in that, or they are provided by an employer. They reasonably priced and provide better coverage than an "HMO".[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]My families German too, but I really don't relate.

It seems that a lot of the things we complain about today in politics seem like non-sequiturs. Sure you're fed up, I am too, but that's the nature of the beast. I know I'm an American, and I still have pride in that. We're doing some horrible things, yes, but it's always gonna be someone. Not that I'm cynical - thing can get better, I'm just putting some faith in the fact they will.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]A man (http://www.museum.tv/archives/etv/B/htmlB/berlusconis/berlusconis.htm) that I'm sure Bush looks up to (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_791783.html).[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0](This is what I was afraid of. Warning: this message is not intended to offend. I have nothing against Americans, my problem is with the current government.)

CG, do me the respect of actually READING what I wrote.

I never called America barbaric. I said RUSSIA has a barbaric history with landmines. And China's record with human rights isn't exactly stellar either, as I note below.

Re: mines.

Yes the States DOES use mines. LOTS of them.

In fact, FRANCE signed the anti-landmine treaty. Cheese-eating surrender-monkey France.

And speaking of France, here's a hypothetical situation for you.

CGland is invaded by a neighbour with, lets be conservative, four times your arms capability and NO qualms about killing civilians. You resist. This neighbour decides to demoralize your country by lining up and shooting civilians for each soldier killed.

In Belgium it was three per soldier. 500 dead soldiers = 1,500 dead women and children.

Continue to resist and your army will be cut down by advanced technology you can't match. Crops are destroyed by bombing raids, hospitals have no supplies and simple infections become deadly.

Your enemy takes your country. Your people are starving and there's no way to help them. Abuses by your enemy's soldiers go unanswered, and the abuses are many.

It doesn't stop there.

Later, your people will be relocated to death camps, where they will be systematically worked to death. The children will be seperated from their parents, and put on trains to munitions factories where they will be worked to death. Usually, they are simply put in the gas chambers. The women will have their hair shaved off for stuffing mattresses and be worked to death. The men do hard labour until they die.

Those who die will have their jaws removed from their skeletons so their gold fillings can be pried out later. Welcome to "liquidation," when the body is stripped for anything useful and then burned.

That's what my uncle lived through. He lived long enough to be liberated. Grey at twenty. Stood at attention by his bedside in his sleep, as the Nazis made prisoners do during spot checks, often leaving them there all night out of spite.

That's what HAPPENED, and that's not the worst. Hitler's plan was to first exterminate the Jews and Gypsies. Then the Poles, Ukrainians, and Russians would be slaughtered and their countries plowed under and turned into farmland, the breadbasket of the Third Reich (the first two being the Byzantine and Roman "reichs"), which was to last a thousand years.

You can avoid these atrocities, at least for a while, if you surrender. You can maintain some semblance of order, even as the enemy occupies your nation.

So, what'll it be? What do you [i:post_uid0]honestly[/i:post_uid0] think you'd do? Political sentiment goes out the window when faced with your own death and the ruin of your nation. I reject political party alignments for that reason.

I have a different perspective, because members of my family were murdered, starved, and abused because of the Nazis. My grandmother, who is French, suffered so badly from rationing that she had to bind her ankles to be able to stand upright. My father's family is Polish, and a number of his relatives were in the underground. THEY were either killed, or arrested by the Russians after the war when THEY took over. And Stalin killed more people than Hitler! China's Great LKeap Forward left millions starving and thousand executed for being "counter-revolutionary". Both the Russians and Chinese used secret arrests. The Chinese still deny that Tiananmin Suqare ever happened. In fact, the Chinese STILL arrange for the murders of political prisoners by bribing their fellow prisoners with reduced sentences. The Russians killed dozens of people with an experimental gas with nary an apology.

Those are the governments who refused to sign the treaty.

And I'd really like it if we could get back to actual BaW fivers before this turns into a screaming match and one of the moderators is forced to THWACK us all...?[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Nan, you have the gift of gab :) I love it.

So do I, but I tend to be more reserved - helps me with English papers tho :)[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Nan"]And I'd really like it if we could get back to actual BaW fivers before this turns into a screaming match and one of the moderators is forced to THWACK us all...?[/quote:post_uid0]
I've been thinking it's time for that too. Since you agree, I'll loose off my incredible laziness long enough to post the part of my Christmas BoV fiver that I have on my computer, in its original form. The rest will sadly have to wait until I get up the energy to retype it ;). (Even at that, I think I've lost the ending... :()

[quote:post_uid0]Please note: I haven't figured out an end scene for this one yet [img:post_uid0]http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/forums/html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif[/img:post_uid0], so I'll just post part of what I have so far (and it's long anyway). Feel free to malign what follows without waiting for the rest of it, as long as you remember that all my usual disclaimers apply. SPECIAL DISCLAIMERS: This is not intended to be critical of anyone, or supply any fable-istic moral. If you wish to use it on unfinished wood or a non-woodean surface, first spot-test on an area where it won't show.

      Episode IV I/II : Pie in the Mind's Eye

sax: ...and so the judge says, "No, you can stay, but in a gorilla suit, the Ferengi has got to go!" Get it? "Suit"?
Entire forum: Grooan!
NAHTMMM: Hahaha, that was silly.
Celeste: sax, you better watch out or your bad-pun habit is gonna come back to haunt you. great, now I'm doing it :-D And NAH, you just have a weird sense of humor.
sax: Huh?
Celeste: Oh, right, we aren't supposed to know about the dramatic irony in that remark yet. sorry

sax: You know, I could really go for a midnight snack right now. Actually, it'd be a 2:30 snack, but who's counting? Â ...Mmm, pie.
Ghost: Mmm, pie.
sax: What was that?
Ghost: Oh, nuts, you went and made me reveal myself. I'm gonna say boo anyway. Boo! I am the Member of Forum Past! Want a cookie?
sax: Umm...Christmas Eve was several days ago. And does this mean you're never coming back?
Soyokaze: Of course not, silly! The other 2 ghost parts were already taken, that's all. I'm late because I took a wrong turn in Albuquerque and somehow wound up in Santa Fe.
sax: Heheh.
Soyokaze: If you think that's bad, Forum Present manages to get lost in downtown Beijing.
Voice: (from off-screen) Do not!

sax: So what part of my past will we visit?
Soyokaze: Well, since this is just a fiver, and since the pitiful special-effects budget was mostly blown on ghostlinesses, we're only gonna show one scene here. [i:post_uid0]*Gwoop!*[/i:post_uid0]
[i:post_uid0]Kira: (reading) "...would've stunk more with a skunk as a guest star"? Heheheh. (typing) "Groan."[/i:post_uid0]
Soyokaze: To sum up, people found all your puns funny at first, but as you increased their frequency, the novelty wore off.

Ghost: I am the Member of Forum Present. We go now to see what effect your posts are having on others.
sax: You're talking funny.
Ghost: I am Celeste of the Present. Past and future tenses are irrelevant. Your complaining is futile.

sax: You already had several lines. Shouldn't The Squid or someone else be Forum Present?
Celeste: Ummm....er...NAH knows I mean business when I threaten him with more tickle torture if, uh, I don't get a part I want. Geez, this is tough. Â ...Okay, here we go! [i:post_uid0]*Bwoop!*[/i:post_uid0]
(Time passes)
[i:post_uid0]*Bwap!*[/i:post_uid0]
sax: ...Well, that [i:post_uid0]was[/i:post_uid0] interesting. But, um, I don't see why we did all that, since only maybe two of the dozen people we visited did anything even remotely involving the forums.
Celeste: Well, yes. But it wa--er, it is fun anyway, and that is what counts. Actually, we could have gone back in time a bit and watched someone plot he--NO! No no no no [i:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]no![/b:post_uid0][/i:post_uid0] ::breathes slowly and deeply a moment:: Okay, let's try that again. ...Sax, when it's a choice between, say, watching someone plot her revenge against you for your maddening puns and watching Zeke go nuts over an awful fiver from a new writer who leaves quintuple !'s and blinking text all over the page, I go with the most entertaining choice, which in this case happens to be Zeke.
sax: Uh...I think that I would prefer the choice that kept me safe, personally. So who was this revengey person, anyway?
Celeste: Umm, let's keep that confidential, OK?[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]A BaW fiver which involves sushi (http://workingtitle.keenspace.com/d/20030614.html) will go far to endear the author to me.

I'm eating sushi now.

Sushi is the pie to my Zeke. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Saxamaphone"]Nan, you have the gift of gab :) Â I love it.[/quote:post_uid0]
I'm too abrasive. I'm trying to curb that.

[quote:post_uid0]So do I, but I tend to be more reserved - helps me with English papers tho :)[/quote:post_uid0]

Hehehe, I just finished english 12. :)

On the provincial (my mock-provincial), one of the subjects you were suppose to write a 400-word composition on was something like, "Keeping an open mind allows for growth. Discuss."

I wrote a 600+ word composition on "open-mindedness" being a vital survival mechanism.

Oh yeah. Vintage Nan. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]On the provincial (my mock-provincial), one of the subjects you were suppose to write a 400-word composition on was something like, "Keeping an open mind allows for growth. Discuss."
[/quote:post_uid0]

That has way too many words in it to be a Provincial essay topic.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]That's the final assignment.

Missed the provincial. Was gonna write it today but couldn't get up.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Nan wanted to cook some chili
But couldn't shake a sense of being silly.
So she settled for some [b:post_uid0]sushi[/b:post_uid0]
And a movie from John Belushi.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Settle, heck. I don't even like chili. :)[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]i like chili. but sushi's good too.

did i ever mention the SATC definition of 'sushi' on this board? i must have, sometime...[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[quote:post_uid0="Nan"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Settle, heck. I don't even like chili. :)[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Good, cause the PETA people might get all up ons.[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quote:post_uid0="taya17"][color=#000000:post_uid0]i like chili. but sushi's good too.

did i ever mention the SATC definition of 'sushi' on this board? i must have, sometime...[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]If you did, I must have missed it. (Also: SATC? :S )

And I like chili. I make great chili. Bit much for some folx, tho. <eg>[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]mmm chili, i love chili, expecialy with sour cream and cheese and beagle (oh wait, i didnt say that, no please! please, not the gag, not aga...mpph mmph mmmmmmmmmmmph!)[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[quote:post_uid0="Guest"][color=#000000:post_uid0]If you did, I must have missed it. (Also: SATC? :S )[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Sex And the City.

Maybe I didn't really *explicitly* mention it. This [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] a PG board, isn't it?[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Sex And the City.[/quote:post_uid0]

That's tantamount to an admission of having [i:post_uid0]actually watched[/i:post_uid0] that dreadful program. Which, as we all know, is a thwappable offense.

*PHJ breaks out his fish*[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]*PHJ breaks out his fish*
[/quote:post_uid0]

*Sa'ar takes pity on Taya and fixes the fish*

Nothing smells worse than a broken fish.[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]By definition, at any rate.

While I'm aware of the show, being cable-deficient, I've never seen it and didn't automatically connect the initials. I could probably hazard a guess concerning sushi, though. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[quote:post_uid0="Guest"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I could probably hazard a guess concerning sushi, though. ;)[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Trying to determine if I actually want to know...[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Almost certainly not.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Heh heh heh....[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"]Almost certainly not.[/quote:post_uid0]

I think he's right there.

And PHJ, what do you mean, THWAPpable offence? SATC is a fun show. Not that I'm a fan, but it's just fun.[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ahh! Unclean! Unclean![/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]And PHJ, what do you mean, THWAPpable offence? SATC is a fun show. Not that I'm a fan, but it's just fun.[/quote:post_uid0]

It's....tacky. In the worst possible way. I mean, [i:post_uid0]Eastenders[/i:post_uid0] and the like is bad, but it's got nothing on [i:post_uid0]that[/i:post_uid0] show.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Eastenders?

All I KNOW about that show is that it's bad. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]It basically features a bunch of people that can't act in completely and unrelentingly ridiculous storylines.

Actually, that goes for just about all British soaps now I come to think about it.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]It basically features a bunch of people that can't act in completely and unrelentingly ridiculous storylines.
[/quote:post_uid0]

Sounds like Friends.[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Sounds like the vast majority of American sitcoms, for that matter.[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*giggles uncontroably*
how true, how true. its expecialy true of any sitcom on UPN[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[quote:post_uid0="Saxamaphone"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Ahh! Â Unclean! Â Unclean![/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]*sings* Contact - unclean - lock me up in quarantine....

Nevermind *runs away before they can pelt her with pies*[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*pelts Taya with tarts*[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ooh strawberry! MmmMmm yummy.
More! :D[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*is scared of thread topic, backs away slowly so can keep eyes on action*[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*is [i:post_uid0]still[/i:post_uid0] giggling uncontrollably and narrowly misses getting hit by a tart. grabs a near by cookie and lobs it in a random direction*
<span style='font-size:12pt;line-height:100%'>FOOD FIGHT!</span>[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*gets hit by cookie, grabs melon, and throws it at Katy*[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Prophets, I've created a monster.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*Wheels out the jelly cannon*

Who's first?[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000:post_uid0]*Wheels out the jelly cannon*

Who's first?[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Depends. What kinda jelly is it? :D[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]*Wheels out the jelly cannon*

[/quote:post_uid0]

OK, now that's just begging for a Chicken Cannon reprisal.

The Chicken Cannon: Canada's last line of defence.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Depends. What kinda jelly is it?[/quote:post_uid0]

Lime mostly. I actually built it because I hate the stuff.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Never had it, so I wouldn't know what it tastes like. But I do like chicken, so I'll just stand behind you. :D

Sa'ar, if that's your defense, you're just [i:post_uid0]asking[/i:post_uid0] to be attacked.

Free chicken. Yay![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]Lime[/i:post_uid0] jelly? :O Yuck. I'll just let my commandos gobble that up, none for me thanks.


I wonder if Gonzo ever had a chicken cannon. I'm sure he did at some point.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]When I said 'hate the stuff', I did in fact mean all kinds of jelly. It's just disgusting.

Anyway...

*Starts firing*[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*wakes up from getting hit in the head with catalina's melon*
w...what happned
*gets blasted with lime jelly*
now i realy am a green frog! :p[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*is still scared of topic, but feels obligated to exlain the Chicken Cannon anyways*
*please dont take any offence to anything said here, the
Chicken Cannon is what it is and I didnt make it what it is. Okay, so I watch Royal Canadain Air Force, so I kinda do support it, but I didnt create it or anything*

By definition, the Chicken Cannon doesnt fire chickens. It fires AT chickens, like rK (ralph kline) George Bush, etc, at annoyances, like Britney Spears, and at real, horrible, losers like Saddam and Osama. And it fires things that are target-appropriate, like burgers at rK or pretzels at Bush.

So...I have some frozen mac 'n cheese.Who's first? :D[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Stop it! You're making me Hungry!

(heat it up first please)[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*Heats up soup, throws it at Arzosah*

Oh, you weren't talking about soup?

*Runs [i:post_uid0]really[/i:post_uid0] fast*[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]It's a good thing I brought my personal sheild with me. I just hope no-body has a lasgun.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*Hides behind table, pulls out lasergun*

Hehehe :evil face:[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I [i:post_uid0]really[/i:post_uid0] wouldn't do that if I were you. Lasguns and Holtzmann Flields do not go together, in the same way that Dubya and 'the button' don't go together.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]awww...[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*Notices that the food fight is winding down. srugs sholders and wips out her "coffee cannon"*

Eat java! Mwahahahaha![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Eat java! Mwahahahaha![/quote:post_uid0]

*counters with Spice Cannon*

Eat Molucca![/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]aggggg!!!!!!! Eyes burning. must. find. eye. drop. cannon.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oooh food fight! *turns the nearest person into pudding and tosses it at Katy Jane*

Whoops, Sa'ar... was that you?[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Whoops, Sa'ar... was that you?[/quote:post_uid0]

*drips onto the floor, glares at Taya as only pudding can, and splorches off to find a freezer*[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]There's one thataway! :points:[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*splorches thataway*

*splorchsplorchsplorch*[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*cleans the last little bit of Sa'ar off her face and carrys it over to the freezer*
Here you go.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]:makes sure no-one is watching:
:surrepitiously flicks raisins at the retreating sa'ar pudding:
:walks away whistling:[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*pours herself a cup of coffee from her cannon and begins to sing*

I love Coffee, I love tea
I love the java jive and it loves me
Coffee and tea and the java and me
a Cuppa cuppa cuppa cuppa cup *Whew*![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]:backs away from Katy Jane slooowwwwly:[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Don't Panic! i'll be Ok

*Chuggs coffee*[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0] I've been working on the railroad all the live long day

woops, must need more coffee[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hee hee hee hee, Katy :D :D

*bounces a few coconuts left over from the other food fight around the room*[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*uses coconuts for target practice with potato gun*

I actually know some people near Lund who used to shoot potatoes at fishing tourists. Potatoes float, so all of a sudden, they're fishing and they start hearing the potatoes washing against the hull of their boat. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Let's play basketnut!

*constructs coconut sized ring out of apple cores*

she shoots, she scores![/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[quote:post_uid0="Katy Jane"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I love Coffee, I love tea
I love the java jive and it loves me
Coffee and tea and the java and me
a Cuppa cuppa cuppa cuppa cup *Whew*![/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0] I like coffee, I like tea,
I like you baby next to me.
You're as cool as red hot lava;
Jumpin' east of Java [/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]hey atleast mine was a real song ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]So is mine ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like chicken, I like liver,
MeowMix, MeowMix, please deliver!

Why is everyone looking at me like that?[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]o/~We are the itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny chocky-malty Ovaltinies...o/~

Spelling is approximate, given that half the line consists of imgainary words.[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0] the itsy bitsy spider...[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0](sings)
[i:post_uid0]Movin' to Montana soon,
gonna be a dennil floss tycoon (yes I am!) ...[/i:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][/i]


(No damn edit button!)[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0] moving to the country gonna eat me a lot of peaches[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*singing*
When you go out to the woods today,
you're in for a big surprise,
when you go out to the wood today
you'de better go in disguise,
because every forumgoer that ever there was
is throwing internet food because,
they're perhaps bored as I am now cus it's so la---ate
*stops singing*[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]O..kay...

This is certainly stranger than a forum food fight anyway.[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]You're all nuts, about as nuts as this (http://community.webshots.com/sym/image5/0/68/20/69106820woaCiM_fs.jpg), and this (http://community.webshots.com/sym/image5/0/68/43/69106843jmSdKx_fs.jpg).[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[quote:post_uid0="Guest"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Just another day in Topic Mutation-Land. :smile:[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Must be all the damned radiation.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Must be all the anti-matter rad- GAK![/color:post_uid0]

[Anonymous]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I warned 'em, but do they listen?

*Swings phaser rifle menacingly*

You HAVE been warned.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]You're all nuts, about as nuts as this, and this. [/quote:post_uid0]

Yeah, you'd have to be nuts to try and get into a forbidden website.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][quote:post_uid0]You're all nuts, about as nuts as this, and this. [/quote:post_uid0]

Yeah, you'd have to be nuts to try and get into a forbidden website.[/quote:post_uid0]
I'm getting in just fine (and it's hilarious. I'm going to ask my brother if he can play it). I guess they haven't gotten around to keeping me out yet. Strange priorities.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Is that another American-only thing then? I wonder how they do that.[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Yeah, you'd have to be nuts to try and get into a forbidden website.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Just copy and paste the links in a new broser then - as NAHTMMM said, he's gettin them just fine.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]You're right. That [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] nuts. 8|[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quote:post_uid0="Saxamaphone"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"]Yeah, you'd have to be nuts to try and get into a forbidden website.[/quote:post_uid0]
Just copy and paste the links in a new broser then - as NAHTMMM said, he's gettin them just fine.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Copy & paste is what I had to do. sax, I actually have a (slightly different) version of the first one from about 10 years ago. Love that kinda stuff, but hard to explain to non-musicians. (Hard to explain to some musicians, for that matter. ;) )[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Johnny standback the topic's mutating again
Johnny: gak!

Oh well, cutting and pasting didnt work for me though. :([/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Katy Jane"]Johnny standback the topic's mutating again
Johnny: gak![/quote:post_uid0]
Wheeeeeee! John Abuse Is Fun!

Repeat after me, kids!

John Abuse Is Fun!


:lol:[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]John Abuse Is Fun
John Abuse Is Fun
John Abuse Is Fun

Who is John?[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I don't know, but I think abusing him is fun.

I also think someone played with my mind. ;)

John Abuse Is Fun!
John Abuse Is Fun![/color:post_uid0]