April 8

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Guest writer Derek Dean hits two big milestones today with Five-Minute "Dreadnought (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/voyager/dreadnought.html)". Not only does it give him a fiver in all four major Trek series, it marks his 20th fiver for the site. We'll be hearing more from Derek soon, so stay tuned. (That's right, I said "soon." Live with it.)

Also today, Zeke's Top 10 List (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/features/32.html) is now online at 5MV, as is a copy of the "Minefield (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/enterprise/minefield.html)" fiver that you can read without a mirror.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]woo hoo, an update. Those are always nice to have. :)
And I am the only one here to comment first, unless there are others with the same problem as me and dont see themselves on the Active members list.

I loved the Office Space References :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Heheheh, I liked it. Good fiver, Derek! :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="NeoMatrix"]I loved the [b:post_uid0]Office Space[/b:post_uid0] references.[/quote:post_uid0]
[b:post_uid0]Chakotay:[/b:post_uid0] Tom, you were late for the meeting. And you're
only wearing the minimum amount of flair.
:lol:
Yup, there's one. (And there's also a few [b:post_uid0]2001[/b:post_uid0] references.)

[b:post_uid0]Torres:[/b:post_uid0] Why do I feel like I just beamed on to DS9?
:p
That's a great line! I bet they used some of the sets from
that other show to make the inside of the [b:post_uid0]Dreadnought.[/b:post_uid0]

It was also great to see [b:post_uid0]The Hollow Men[/b:post_uid0] by T.S.Eliot at
the end of the Fiver. The last time I saw that was when
I watched the televised version of [b:post_uid0]The Stand[/b:post_uid0] on SciFi.
:eyeroll:[/color:post_uid0]

[Kristina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]And I loved the junk e-mails and the Kes-Prytt, as well as the other TNG episode reference I caught ("...always have Paris"). There were probably a few others I missed, but good one, Derek! :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[quote:post_uid0="FatMat426"][color=#000000:post_uid0]It was also great to see [b:post_uid0]The Hollow Men[/b:post_uid0] by T.S.Eliot at
the end of the Fiver. The last time I saw that was when
I watched the televised version of [b:post_uid0]The Stand[/b:post_uid0] on SciFi.
:eyeroll:[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I always liked Eliot's [i:post_uid0]The Hollow Men[/i:post_uid0]. I thought that was a great poem. I remember going over it in my AP Literature class and really liking it.

I actually liked [i:post_uid0]The Stand[/i:post_uid0]. I was pretty impressed by the movie. I thought it was a good adaptation of the book. The most disturbing thing for me was later in college when I had a professor who looked [i:post_uid0]exactly[/i:post_uid0] like Randall Flagg. And he was an evil professor who normally taught the weed-out class.

Anyway, thanks for the comments, everyone. I'm happy to finally be able to have a fiver in all four series. Passing the big 2-0 is just extra.[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Woo, Derek. :lol:

We may have a new contender for highest density of puns, quotes and allusions. Mercy!

:whimper:[/color:post_uid0]

[MPQ]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]B'Elanna builds a polite killer missile.[/quote:post_uid0]

Hmm... I saw a [i:post_uid0]very[/i:post_uid0] similar blurb on another website.[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Good catch. That blurb's an homage to the "Prototype" blurb at Delta Blues, which is a favourite of mine.[/color:post_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[quote:post_uid0="Derek"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I actually liked [b:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]The Stand[/b:post_uid0][/i:post_uid0]. I was pretty impressed
by the movie.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]It was an OK adaption of the book, cuz it was very
cool to see all those characters walking and talking
on TV ([b:post_uid0]Gary Sinese[/b:post_uid0] did a wonderful job, as well as
[b:post_uid0]Miguel Ferrer[/b:post_uid0]) but actaully [b:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]reading[/i:post_uid0][/b:post_uid0] that giant novel
is much more chilling than looking at what they filmed.
:O
Also, I wanted to say that it's [b:post_uid0]VERY[/b:post_uid0] cool for you to
have a 5ER in all 4 ST series, and if I ever find the
time to write a [b:post_uid0]Niner-5ER[/b:post_uid0] then I'll be able to join
you in that club.
:D
It's much more worthy to point out that you've
written 20 overall, which is something I'd like to
do in the [b:post_uid0]Farscape[/b:post_uid0] section one day. (But mos'
definitely [b:post_uid0][u:post_uid0]NOT[/u:post_uid0][/b:post_uid0] today!)
:lol: :suspicious:[/color:post_uid0]

[BR48]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I thought the 2001 references were great, as was the reference to The Hollow Men.

My favorite line was probably this one:
[quote:post_uid0]Paris: Chakotay, Chakotay, when will you learn? You'll always have Paris.[/quote:post_uid0]
Now that's a classic groaner if I've ever heard one.

BTW, you have a typo in this passage:
[quote:post_uid0]Torres: Let's see, how do I crash a computer? I know! Install new software!
Cardassian Dreadnouught: The Maquis Dreadnought has preformed an invalid page fault.
Maquis Dreadnought: That was a valid page fault!
Cardassian Dreadnought: Stack overflow!
Maquis Dreadnought: Norman! Norman, coordinate!
Cardassian Dreadnought: (singing) Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.[/quote:post_uid0]

In the first instance of the word "Dreadnought" in the above, you spelled it "Dreadnouught." I assume that was a mistake.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]If you ask me, you can never have too many [i:post_uid0]2001[/i:post_uid0] references. Or evil Microsoft references for that matter, though there really aren't enough of those to begin with.

In conclusion, I liked the fiver, and Bill Gates is a bad, bad man.[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[quote:post_uid0="BR48"][color=#000000:post_uid0]In the first instance of the word "Dreadnought" in the above, you spelled it "Dreadnouught." I assume that was a mistake.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Um, no, no. Of course it's not a mistake. I, uh, put the letter u in twice so you would think of other words that have two u's in them like vacuum. And since vacuums are known for sucking I made the typo to point out that the Cardassian Dreadnought sucks. What's more, the Dreadnought was flying through space which is itself a vacuum and so, um, uh, er.... (Psst! Kira, can you please fix it?) ...that is to say, what were we talking about?

And [b:post_uid0]Mat[/b:post_uid0], I agree the novel is excellent, but I don't know if I'll ever get around to reading it a second time 'cause that thing was looong.[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Fixed.[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Derek, just when I think your fivers couldn't get any better, you out do yourself - well done my friend :)

I'm a big fan of allusion, so I always get a kick outta them. I haven't heard anyone mention the [i:post_uid0]Star Wars[/i:post_uid0] reference, so I'll say that I enjoyed it :)

But, extremely funny - brightened up my day :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Can I just ask what 'TPS reports' refers to? That's the only bit that baffled me.[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]^ The movie [i:post_uid0]Office Space[/i:post_uid0]. If you've seen it you'll definitely know what I'm talking about; if you haven't, go see it.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Kim: According to our scans, Dreadnought is thataway.
Torres: Your scans can deceive you. Don't trust them.

Janeway: I just wanted to let you know that there's a big freakin' missle headed your way.
Kellan: (over the comm) Is that some kind of threat?
Janeway: I personally thought it was a rather good one.

Torres: Why do I feel like I just beamed on to DS9?
Dreadnought: Last login: 47474.7 from maquis.org. You have mail.
Torres: Computer, read email.
Dreadnought: "Would you like to enlarge your --"
Torres: Delete message. Ctrl-Alt-Delete.
Dreadnought: The system is going to shut down NOW.

Torres: Dreadnought, why did you start back up?
Dreadnought: (over the comm) Um, Ctrl-Alt-Delete is the instruction to reboot, not to shut down.
Torres: Well, then shut down.
Dreadnought: Neener, neener, neener!
Torres: I never taught it to do that.
Dreadnought: Sure you did. That was in between "Ha ha!" and "Pbbbbt!"

Kellan: (over the comm) So the missile's going to explode and everyone's going to die?
Janeway: Well, we tried to stop it.
Kellan: Yeah, how many casualties did you have?
Janeway: I, um, broke a nail.
Kellan: I hate you. I hate you so much.

Torres: Hello, Dreadnought.
Dreadnought: Last login: 49447.1 from voyager.com. You have mail.
Torres: Computer, read email.
Dreadnought: "Lose weight while trying to self-destruct a missle! It works! No need to excer--"
Torres: Delete message. Shut down.
Dreadnought: Pbbbbt!

Torres: All right. You're a computer, I can talk you into self-destructing. Um, "Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers that smell bad."
Dreadnought: Huh?
Torres: Oh, just tell me why you're not working right.
Dreadnought: Well, maybe it's that corrupted file in my filesystem. By the way, I hope you can breathe without life support. I know I can.

Kellan: (over the comm) Since the planet's going to be blown up, I've taken out an outrageous amount of money from a loanshark, told my wife what I really think of her, and dressed up like an asparagus!
Janeway: We were thinking we would destroy Voyager to stop the missile.
Kellan: Um, actually I think I'd prefer you let the missile destroy us now.
Janeway: You really want to die?
Kellan: Can't you see I'm green with envy?

Torres: Let's see, how do I crash a computer? I know! Install new software!
Cardassian Dreadnought: The Maquis Dreadnought has preformed an invalid page fault.
Maquis Dreadnought: That was a valid page fault!
Cardassian Dreadnought: Stack overflow!
Maquis Dreadnought: Norman! Norman, coordinate!
Cardassian Dreadnought: (singing) Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.

Janeway: I'm afraid the only way to stop Dreadnought is to push The Button.
Chakotay: The self-destruct button or the Reset button?
Janeway: Can't I do both?

Dreadnought: This is the way the world ends, not with a --
(BANG!)
Transporter: Whine.
Torres: Whimper.
[quote:post_uid0]

If someone had told me earlier today that tonight I will read one TRULY & UTTERLY SPECTACULAR fiver..... I mean really, this is a masterpiece. Sorry for copying almost all paragraphs from the fiver, I simply wanted to copy all parts that had me ROTF-laughing. Derek, you`re great. I`ve also read your "Clues" and "Silicon Avatar" this week and I loved them!


Nic[/color:post_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"]If someone had told me earlier today that tonight I will read one TRULY & UTTERLY SPECTACULAR fiver... I mean really, this is a masterpiece.[/quote:post_uid0]
It looks like [b:post_uid0]Double-D[/b:post_uid0] is going to need his own
[b:post_uid0]exo-site[/b:post_uid0] very soon, or some sort of restraining
bars to hold back all the rabid [b:post_uid0]5ER[/b:post_uid0] fans!
:lol: :D :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000:post_uid0]If someone had told me earlier today that tonight I will read one TRULY & UTTERLY SPECTACULAR fiver..... I mean really, this is a masterpiece. Sorry for copying almost all paragraphs from the fiver, I simply wanted to copy all parts that had me ROTF-laughing. Derek, you`re great. I`ve also read your "Clues" and "Silicon Avatar" this week and I loved them![/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]Finally[/i:post_uid0] I get the respect I deserve. ;) :smile:

Seriously, I'm honored you think so highly of my fivers. I've certainly enjoyed writing them and I'm very glad to know that you enjoy reading them.[/color:post_uid0]

[MmeBlueberry]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]or some sort of restraining bars to hold back all the rabid 5ER fans[/quote:post_uid0]
Or maybe some sort of restraining bars to keep his head a normal size... ;)[/color:post_uid0]