June 10 - A Big Announcement

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Kira here. Â Boy, do I ever have [i:post_uid0]another[/i:post_uid0] surprise for you guys....

Of all the subsites at 5MV, Five-Minute Deep Space Nine is arguably the most neglected. The only major series neither fived by Zeke nor under the control of a section head, it's been collecting fivers at a rather pitiful rate -- the recent addition of the Final Chapter aside -- ever since the site's inception.

Hopefully, that will change as of today. We're relaunching the section under the able supervision of a very familiar face at 5MV: the very talented and scarily prolific Derek Dean. To start off what will undoubtedly be a long and prosperous reign of the section, Derek has fived all of the six season finales for your reading pleasure:<ul> Five-Minute "In the Hands of the Prophets" (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/ds9/inthehandsoftheprophets.html)
Five-Minute "The Jem'Hadar" (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/ds9/thejemhadar.html)
Five-Minute "The Adversary" (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/ds9/theadversary.html)
Five-Minute "Broken Link" (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/ds9/brokenlink.html)
Five-Minute "Call to Arms" (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/ds9/calltoarms.html)
Five-Minute "Tears of the Prophets" (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/ds9/tearsoftheprophets.html)[/list]He's already starting to build a backlog of other episodes, so look for 5MD to join 5MNG and 5MST as a regular producer around the site.

As part of his new status as Section Head, Derek now has a FAQ (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/about/derek.html), a Fiver By Author (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/about/fbaderek.html) page, and a new email address: derek@sci-fivers.com.ar. (The rabid niner fiver fans may want to write that down, but try not to overwhelm the poor guy too soon.) As with Marc in 5MNG and IJD GAF in 5MST, Derek will be responsible for fiver requests and processing guest fivers.

You can also read the news arcticle (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/news/5mdrelaunch.html) for the occasion, which pretty much says exactly the same stuff. Â Enjoy the fivers, and don't forget those feedback links.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'd just like to say I thought the Apollo 13 references in "The Jem'Hadar" were fantastic. I was expecting some reference to the [i:post_uid0]other[/i:post_uid0] famous Oydssey, but this is just as good if not better. Still a way to go though before anything can beat what Zeke did with "Desert Crossing". That was just inspired.

EDIT: Well, more like a clarification really. By the 'other famous Qdyssey' I was refering to [i:post_uid0]2001[/i:post_uid0]. It's only really just occured to me about the greek one.[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Woohoo! Section head at last.

<--- New avatar. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]That's snazzy.[/color:post_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neato Derek. I still don't get the Mernber thing though. When is that going to be explained?[/color:post_uid0]

[MmeBlueberry]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, I haven't read them all (because I haven't seen all the episodes), but I like what I've read. :)

[quote:post_uid0]Kira: Hey, Winn is a bad guy. She tried to assassinate Bareil!
Neela: Wait, Vedek Winn is a guy?
[/quote:post_uid0]
Hehe. That's one of my favorite bits. I like the extra Odo in "The Adversary," too.

Derek gets cookies to celebrate. (Or just because I felt like making cookies.) Everybody else gets...um...virtual cookies. Enjoy![/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quote:post_uid0="Celeste"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Neato Derek. I still don't get the Mernber thing though. When is that going to be explained?[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Right now. Derek's been a "Mernber" because the decision to have him join the staff was made over a month ago, and we needed a tentative member group for him so that he would have the access level of a staff member without giving the secret away. I gambled that no one would notice, and I turned out to be wrong, but there was no harm done. (You'll notice Derek is now in the 5MV Staff group.)[/color:post_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like the almost-invisible joke you slipped into your avatar's signature: "5MD Station Head". It took me a while to notice it![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Congratulations, Derek. A job well-earned.

Remind me to pester you about fiver requests later *g*

BTW, Kira..."arcticle"? Sounds like a frozen fjord. *snicker*

I'm gonna get THWAMed, right?[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Marc"]I like the almost-invisible joke you slipped into your avatar's signature: "5MD Station Head". Â It took me a while to notice it![/quote:post_uid0]
Speaking of member titles. "Mysterious Floating 5MSG Head"? Good [i:post_uid0]lord.[/i:post_uid0] It's not a floating head. SO getting another avatar. Â :(

Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Congradulations Derek!!! I know 5MD couldn't possibly be in better hands :)

The new av and title look good on ya. (And a very hilarious FAQ if I do say so myself)

And Nan: I thought the new member title was great, along with the new av, but I suppose if you don't like it that's what matters.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]My favorite parts were:

[quote:post_uid0]Odo: Hey, that fits! Thanks, school. Wait, school? Uh oh.
...
Sisko: ...OOOOOO...[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Odo: Before we fight, there is something you should know: I am not left-handed.
Changeling: And there is something you should know: I don't have a left hand.
Odo: Oh yeah? Well, I don't have a left arm!
Changeling: Well, I don't have a left leg either!
...
Eddington: Including your promotion?
Sisko: They said they'd honour it if I shaved my head.
Odo: Sorry to interrupt, but the Changeling told me something just before he died.
Sisko: What's that?
Odo: GAK!
Sisko: Oh, that was insightful.
(Sisko shaves his head at Ludicrous Speed.)[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Odo: So what's wrong with me medically?
Bashir: Oh, well, here's a picture of you from before, and here's a picture of you now.
Odo: That's a picture of a raccoon, and the other is a picture of the sludge monster.
Bashir: Of course it is.[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Jake: "Captain Sisko Drops Toothpaste, by Jake Sisko."
Sisko: Care to explain that?
Jake: I got a job with a Federation tabloid!
Sisko: I'm Crest-fallen.[/quote:post_uid0]
:O Argh, bad pun--GAK! :dead:

"Uparsin?" :S

[quote:post_uid0]Bashir: Now we wait for people to die.
Jake: Don't you mean get injured?
Bashir: I guess, but dead people are easier to treat.[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Dukat: He's not all bad. Look at the subject of the email he left for me: "I love you". How sweet.
Damar: Hey, look! There's an attachment! Open it, open it!
Station: Zzzzt![/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Jake: Benjamin L. Sisko, it is the judgment of this council that you be stripped of your Christopher Pike Medal of Valour.
Sisko: But I don't have a Christopher Pike Medal of Valour.
Jake: Oh, then I guess it's an awarding of it.
Sisko: Woo hoo! Captain Pike at last!
Ross: Guess what? You get to invade Cardassian space!
Sisko: This scene seems familiar. You're not a Changeling, are you?
Ross: No, no, of course not.[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Dukat: Yeah, and then the serpent said that we could reclaim the wormhole with an action figure.[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Jake: Hey, you furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war.[/quote:post_uid0]
Now, I *know* I've heard *that* one somewhere, too... :suspicious:

Anyway, great job, Derek! :D

And the last 3 descriptions were particularly good.[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]"Uparsin?"[/quote:post_uid0]
"Mene mene tekel uparsin" is what's written on the wall in one of those Bible stories. Some Bible versions say "parsin" instead of "uparsin". The "u-" prefix just means "and".

[quote:post_uid0]Now, I *know* I've heard *that* one somewhere, too...[/quote:post_uid0]
You heard it in your American History class. "You furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war" was said by William Randolph Hearst to Frederick Remington. Hearst was a yellow journalist who helped start the Spanish American War with his journalism.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh, I recognized the first few all right, but that last one threw me for a loop. Not that I would have recognized "Parsin" or "Peres" either. ;)

And thanks for placing the second quote as well.[/color:post_uid0]

[Kosst]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]...*sniff* I'm so happy!...[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Sisko takes his first and last road trip with Quark. The Jem'Hadar improve on the original Odyssey by having nobody make it back.[/quote:post_uid0]

Strictly speaking, Nobody made it back the first time. He was the guy who blinded Polyphemus.[/color:post_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]>> "You furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war" was said by William Randolph Hearst <<

It's gotten quite a bit of mileage since then. A variant of the line was used in the movie "Citizen Kane" (which was based on Hearst's life). More recently, it was used in the James Bond movie "Tomorrow Never Dies" by mad media mogul Elliot Carver (sort of an exaggerated Rupert Mudoch/Ted Turner type) who wants to start a war to boost his TV network ratings, and whose gleeful motto is "There's no news like BAD news!"[/color:post_uid0]

[entei]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Right now. Derek's been a "Mernber" because the decision to have him join the staff was made over a month ago, and we needed a tentative member group for him so that he would have the access level of a staff member without giving the secret away. I gambled that no one would notice, and I turned out to be wrong, but there was no harm done. (You'll notice Derek is now in the 5MV Staff group.)
[/quote:post_uid0]

Ah! That mystery is finally revealed. (I had suspected it was something much more sinister, involving ritualistic killings and suchlike. I guess I was wrong). Do you realise Zeke just how many sleepless nights I suffered over this though!


(well none actually, but I might have done)[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]What DOES "mene mene tekel uparsin" mean, anyway?[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Nan"]What DOES "mene mene tekel uparsin" mean, anyway?[/quote:post_uid0]
Thank God for online Bible searches.

[quote:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Daniel 5[/b:post_uid0]
25 "This is the inscription that was written:

Mene ,Mene , Tekel , Parsin [5]

26 "This is what these words mean:

Mene [6] : God has numbered the days of your reign and brought it to an end.
27 Tekel [7] : You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting.
28 Peres [8] : Your kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and Persians."

29 Then at Belshazzar's command, Daniel was clothed in purple, a gold chain was placed around his neck, and he was proclaimed the third highest ruler in the kingdom.
30 That very night Belshazzar, king of the Babylonians, [9] was slain, 31 and Darius the Mede took over the kingdom, at the age of sixty-two.


Footnotes

5. 5:25 Aramaic UPARSIN (that is, AND PARSIN )
6. 5:26 Mene can mean numbered or mina (a unit of money).
7. 5:27 Tekel can mean weighed or shekel .
8. 5:28 Peres (the singular of Parsin ) can mean divided or Persia or a half mina or a half shekel .
9. 5:30 Or Chaldeans[/quote:post_uid0]

It has no special relevance. I was just looking for some foreign words in the Bible and remembered this story.[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quote:post_uid0="Marc"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I like the almost-invisible joke you slipped into your avatar's signature: "5MD Station Head". Â It took me a while to notice it![/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Is that a reference to what I think it is? ;)

Woo comma hoo, Derek! Congratulations! :) I do believe the section is in good hands.

*ambles off to read new fivers*[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*returns, giggling*

All meet or exceed your usual high standard, Derek. Nice work. A few bits from [i:post_uid0]The Adversary:[/i:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]O'Brien: Who's there?
Voice: Nobody here but us chickens![/quote:post_uid0]Hmmm.
[quote:post_uid0]O'Brien: Well, I saw Bashir playing chicken in the Jeffrey Tubes earlier.
Sisko: And he didn't invite me to join him? That is suspicious. [/quote:post_uid0]
[i:post_uid0]Jeffrey[/i:post_uid0] Tubes? Methinks there's a joke here, but I'm missing something.

Other goodies:
[quote:post_uid0]Bashir: Me? I'm not a saboteur!
O'Brien: Then where are your sabots?[/quote:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Bolian: Rabbit season!
Kira: Duck season![/quote:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Odo: Before we fight, there is something you should know: I am not left-handed.
(etc.)[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Massive congradulations to you, [b:post_uid0]Double-D[/b:post_uid0]... or should I
say "triple D" since you in charge of 5M[b:post_uid0][u:post_uid0]D[/u:post_uid0][/b:post_uid0]?
:D
As soon as I buy Season One on DVD, I'll be writing you
a letter requesting an EP (or two.)[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]:D More DS9 fivers!
YAY
YAYYAY
YAYYAYYAY
And they're funny! And they're fun!
[quote:post_uid0]Mene mene tekel uparsin. Amen.[/quote:post_uid0]
Why is Sisko mentioning a nickname for dachshunds (tekel) in German? Huh? Are you saying dachshunds are aliens? cus theyre not. Or German? Cus they are.
Okay, I'de write more contructive but I'm a little high on allergy meds and its a little late.[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]::scratches his head... he was SURE he'd posted a congrats to Derek... and he's PRETTY sure he didn't put anything in it that would need to be censored... but maybe that was in one of the alternate realities or something. No matter.::

Congrats, Derek! ;) Good to hear the DS9 section is going to be vitalized. So you're the one I'm gonna have to e-mail when I figure out which DS9 eps I want to five before TNN starts reairing them and all the eps get reserved...

So wait - why 5MD and not 5MDS9?[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0]So wait - why 5MD and not 5MDS9?[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Easy -- too many letters.[/color:post_uid0]

[ijdgaf]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]So I've only read a few (I'm seriously behind on what DS9 I've seen and what I haven't), but this section is definitely in great hands.

On another note, [i:post_uid0]American History X[/i:post_uid0] just happens to be my favorite movie of all time :([/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quote:post_uid0="Kira"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Standback"]So wait - why 5MD and not 5MDS9?[/quote:post_uid0]
Easy -- too many letters.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yup. In naming the subsites, I use only as many letters as I need to avoid ambiguity. 5MVG, for example, needs the G to distinguish it from 5MV; same story for 5MST and 5MSG because of 5MS.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]That and, in the book, it's called a StarGate. SG. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Andy Taylor]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yay! More Niner Fivers! That can only be a good thing, and these were really funny - great job Derek!

Also congrats on your new status - 5MD is gonna rule! :D[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, how narrow minded. What if, a few years down the road, you suddenly decide to Five-Minute-Dallas? Five-Minute-Dilbert? Five-Minute-Dharma-and-Greg? Five-Minute-Dexter's-Laboratory? Huh, huh? You gonna be the one to tell PHJ, one "5MD" is an established trademark, that because you didn't want to type out two more letters, he can't do Five-Minute-Doctor-Who?

People just don't think ahead.

:D[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Five-Minute-Dharma-and-Greg:5MDG
Five-Minute-Dexter's-Laboratory: 5MDL
Five-Minute-Doctor-Who: 5MDW

It's not all that hard.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, if I remember correctly, more 5MDW fivers have been promised anyway.

*Nudges Zeke repeatedly*

And frankly Five-Minute Dilbert is just an impossibility. There's no way it could be made any funnier than it already is.[/color:post_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]>> And frankly Five-Minute Dilbert is just an impossibility. <<

I'm chuckling quietly to myself here, for reasons that will become apparent on Day Three of A/U Week.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hmmm. I'm....intrigued, to say the least.[/color:post_uid0]

[Draknek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]http://directory.google.com/Top/Arts/Television/Programs/D/

Rats, I see no single word 'D' programs that I see any possibility of ever being fived.

Five Minute Doug, anyone?

-Draknek, also intruiged[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]"Dragnet"? Or just start up your own show about the good ship [i:post_uid0]Draknek[/i:post_uid0]. ;)[/color:post_uid0]