September 13 - 5MVG Relaunch

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]

Surprise! Â After a week of Next Gen material, here's the latest section relaunch: [b:post_uid0]Five-Minute Videogames (../videogames)[/b:post_uid0].


This subsite is overdue for an overhaul. Â I've had quite a number of video-game fivers waiting to be published, and the front page was probably the worst-organized page anywhere at 5MV. Â So, after working on this behind the scenes throughout NGW:TNG, I'm now ready to make it public. Â The subsite has been reorganized into four series pages (for [i:post_uid0]Mega Man, Tomb Raider, Legend of Zelda[/i:post_uid0], and [i:post_uid0]Final Fantasy[/i:post_uid0], the four most-covered game series so far) and a front page listing the other fivers outside those series. Â You'll find the following new material:
<ul> First and foremost, IJD GAF has completely knocked himself out with [i:post_uid0]Tomb Raider[/i:post_uid0] (../videogames/tr.html). Â He's got the first five games done for your reading pleasure, and the third is something we've never done before at 5MV: a [b:post_uid0]multifiver[/b:post_uid0]. Â You'll see what that means when you read it. Â IJD's [i:post_uid0]Tomb Raider[/i:post_uid0] project has been in the planning longer than you'd believe, and I guarantee you'll love what he came up with.
My contribution to the event is, at long last, [i:post_uid0]Mega Man 7[/i:post_uid0] (../videogames/megaman7.html). Â I haven't fived a Mega Man game since the first six way back around Christmas 2001; I'll have to come back sooner this time, because I had great fun with MM7.
I've kept Derek Dean waiting far, [i:post_uid0]far[/i:post_uid0] too long to see his parodies of [i:post_uid0]Super Mario Bros.[/i:post_uid0] (../videogames/supermariobros.html) and [i:post_uid0]Legend of Zelda[/i:post_uid0] (../videogames/legendofzelda.html) published. Â Here they are at last, and if you'd known you were waiting, you'd still have found them worth the wait.
Tate, a guest writer whose fiver for TOS's "Operation: Annihilate" you may recall, has done his sophomore parody: [i:post_uid0]Chex Quest[/i:post_uid0] (../videogames/chexquest.html). Â You know the cereal Chex? Â They once made a game, based on the [i:post_uid0]Doom[/i:post_uid0] engine, where you're a piece of Chex running around shooting soggy monsters called Flemoids. Â I'm not making this up. Â The game was included as a premium in certain Chex cereal boxes, making it the only first-person shooter you had to buy cereal to get... and now it's yours in fiver form. Â Bon appetit.
Finally, first-time guest writer Dekar brings us [i:post_uid0]House of the Dead[/i:post_uid0] (../videogames/houseofthedead.html). Â That's a two-player arcader where you make your way through a house shooting zombies, and it's the only arcade game I've played much -- I got to the final boss once but didn't have enough quarters to beat him. Â There's a movie coming out, so Dekar figured now was a good time to do the game. Â Makes sense to me. Â (Except the part about making a movie of [i:post_uid0]House of the Dead[/i:post_uid0], but that's Hollywood's fault.)[/list]
So there you have it. Â 5MVG has roughly doubled in size, and from now on it'll be a real player among the subsites, not a page that just kinda sits there. Â Hope you enjoy.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]After just reading Zeke's post, I can say that I know with reasonable confidence how it feels for Charlie Brown to have his socks knocked off over and over and over and over again... :O :smile:


First off, I [i:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]love[/b:post_uid0][/i:post_uid0] all the new blurbs on the main page!

Too much to comment on all of it, but I can list some of my favorite scenes:
[quote:post_uid0]Lara: Isn't it about time for some actual background for this Scion thingie?
Ancient Texts: Here lies the last great ruler of Atlantis, Tihocan, who had a Scion thingie. Go to Egypt.
Lara: Well that was helpful; this being the first of a big adventure franchise, this had to wind up in Egypt eventually.
Ancient Texts: Scram already, you're talking to yourself.
Lara: I thought I was talking to you.
Ancient Texts: Considering that I'm ancient and textual, that's worse.
...
Atlanteans: Go to hell, Natla!
Natla: I'm from there, idiots.
Atlanteans: Hmm... Then you will be forced to live the rest of your life in-- Des Moines!
Natla: Nooo![/quote:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Samurai: AAHH! I/We can't tell whether I'm/we're plural or singular!
...
Lara: Eh, screw China. I've got my peaceful dagger in my peaceful home. What's that? I do believe I hear a peaceful van pulling up with peaceful goons that are beating up my peaceful servant with peaceful baseball bats.... Hmm, screw peace. Pow![/quote:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Shiva Statue: Hi, I'm sacrilegious. Questions?
Lara: Yeah: do I have to shoot you? It might seem offensive to those of the Hindu faith.
Shiva: Don't worry, you'll offend plenty of Christians in the bonus level. We're equal-opportunity here.
...
Lara: Ah, there's nothing I like better than aimlessly jumping from building to building in hopes of randomly meeting someone with information I can use.[/quote:post_uid0]
Heh, me too. ;)
[quote:post_uid0]Lara: ...Good thing I brought my Capital One card!
Tribesman: What's in your wallet?[/quote:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Guide: And once again, Miss Croft has asked for the assistance of a guide.
Lara: --one who will die very shortly.
...
Lara: What are you going to do about it, summon ninjas in jeeps?
Guide: Of course not, they all had to cram into one so I can escape in the other.
...
Factoid Box: During the mummification process, ancient Egyptians would pull the brains out through the nose.
Lara: Arggh! Every Egyptian anything mentions that fact!
Factoid Box: Not this game, surprisingly.
Lara: But --
Factoid Box: Cool it, I'm not in the game either.
Lara: But --
Factoid Box: Shh.
...
Hammerhead Shark: Rats.
Lara: Oh, don't you start.[/quote:post_uid0]
The first four [i:post_uid0]Tomb Raider[/i:post_uid0] fivers were great, especially the second and third ones. The fifth one was pretty dull; I've seen that "Page not found" page more than enough before. ;)


I loved the blurbs for the Mega Man fivers too.
[quote:post_uid0]Cloud Man: Hey! You! Get offa my cloud![/quote:post_uid0]
Now, I [b:post_uid0]know[/b:post_uid0] I've seen that just recently :suspicious:.....17, was that you? Â ;)

Then Derek's fivers were very funny too.
[quote:post_uid0]Para-Troopa: No, I was too busy playing with my new wings.
Mario: That doesn't make you hard.
Para-Troopa: Maybe not, but I'm still the prettiest.
...
Toad: Sorry, but our princess is in another castle.
Mario: Must... control... fireballs... of... death....[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Link: Speaking of bombs, would you mind swallowing a few?
Dodongo: Not at all. (BOOM)
...
Link: The Master sword -- now that's what I'm talking about. What's it made of?
Old Man: Leola root.
Link: Heh. They don't stand a chance.[/quote:post_uid0]
:lol: Great one!
[quote:post_uid0]Link: Alright, Ganon. It is down to you, and it is down to me.[/quote:post_uid0]
I suppose there are worse obscure quotes to recognize, Derek. Very nice disclaimer, too.

I loved this conversation:
[quote:post_uid0]Flying Flemoid: Hi, I'm a one-eyed-one-horned-flying-purple-people-eater.
Chex Guy: No, you're a one-eyed-one-horned-flying-green-flemoid-that-says-"GAK"-when-I-shoot-it.
Flying Flemoid: GAK!
Chex Guy: See what I mean?[/quote:post_uid0]
followed immediately by another great discussion:
[quote:post_uid0]Chex Guy: Hooray! A big bowl of cereal!
Flemoid: Wait a minute, you're a piece of cereal -- you shouldn't be eating cereal.
Chex Guy: Be quiet.
Flemoid: Cannibal!
Chex Guy: That's it. DIE EVIL FLEMOID!
Flemoid: GAK![/quote:post_uid0]
and every time the cereal said
[quote:post_uid0]DIE EVIL FLEMOID![/quote:post_uid0]
:lol:

House of the Dead used to be at the entertainment center at the shopping center, at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the eating area above, from which one could hear and see the screen too easily...so I'm not very fond of it. I'm surprised it offered as much material as it apparently did; obviously, I don't know much about these arcade games. I'd quote the whole fiver here, because it's all hilarious, but that would be overkill.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Good stuff!

Much applause for the multifiver! Good stuff, guys![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Now, I know I've seen that just recently .....17, was that you? [/quote:post_uid0]

Close, but way off.[/color:post_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Congratulations to everyone on this explosion of video fivers, and to IJD in particular for the innovative multifiver concept!

>>Tate, a guest writer whose fiver for TNG's "Symbiosis" you may recall <<

Actually, Tate wrote TAS's "Operation Annihilate!" "Symbiosis" was by Nic Corelli.[/color:post_uid0]

[ijdgaf]

[quote:post_uid0="Marc"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Congratulations to everyone on this explosion of video fivers, and to IJD in particular for the innovative multifiver concept!

>>Tate, a guest writer whose fiver for TNG's "Symbiosis" you may recall <<

Actually, Tate wrote TAS's "Operation Annihilate!" Â "Symbiosis" was by Nic Corelli.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Actually actually, he wrote [i:post_uid0]TOS[/i:post_uid0]'s "Operation Annihilate!"

Great job to everyone, though I'm still in awe of the fact that Chex ever made a game. And that it's based on the Doom engine. And most especially, that its fiver is probably 50 times longer than Doom's.[/color:post_uid0]

[Tate]

[quote:post_uid0="ijdgaf"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Great job to everyone, though I'm still in awe of the fact that Chex ever made a game. Â And that it's based on the Doom engine. Â And most especially, that its fiver is probably 50 times longer than Doom's.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]:lol:

I really like the multifiver idea too.

Good job on the fivers, everyone.

(And Zeke fixed that mix-up about my first fiver, so there's no need to mention it anymore)[/color:post_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]In wich you get to be a cereal killer.[/quote:post_uid0]
Rofl omg that was so funny I think I hurt my diaphram.[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Incredible amount of fivers. Took me a while to get through them. Great jobs, IJD, Tate, and Dekar. I don't get the Martin Short/Floridian thing though (sorry to say).[/color:post_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Link:[/b:post_uid0] You're not an especially hard villain. Those [b:post_uid0]blue Darknuts[/b:post_uid0] are impossible.
:mad:
Yes, they were! And I'm glad somebody else felt that way when they played the game. I remember crying with my cousin when we were both ten years old since it was almost impossible to beat that one room which had about TEN of those blue dark guys in it.

It's really great to see [b:post_uid0]5-Min-Video Games[/b:post_uid0] get so much more added to it. I wonder if the Shakespeare section will get a new look next?[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[quote:post_uid0="FatMat426"][color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Link:[/b:post_uid0] You're not an especially hard villain. Those [b:post_uid0]blue Darknuts[/b:post_uid0] are impossible.
:mad:
Yes, they were! And I'm glad somebody else felt that way when they played the game. I remember crying with my cousin when we were both ten years old since it was almost impossible to beat that one room which had about TEN of those blue dark guys in it.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yeah, even now when I play that game, I make sure to have a red potion before entering the room. I'm better now at dodging the blue darknuts than I was back in the day when I first played Zelda 1, but they're still not something that can be considered easy.

I'm just glad Ganon was so easy. Slash-and-shoot works very nicely. And anyway, by then you have the red ring and all 16 heart containers.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Yeah, even now when I play that game, I make sure to have a red potion before entering the room. I'm better now at dodging the blue darknuts than I was back in the day when I first played Zelda 1, but they're still not something that can be considered easy.

I'm just glad Ganon was so easy. Slash-and-shoot works very nicely. And anyway, by then you have the red ring and all 16 heart containers.[/quote:post_uid0]

I didn't follow a word of that.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hear, hear. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[ijdgaf]

[quote:post_uid0="Derek"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I don't get the Martin Short/Floridian thing though (sorry to say).[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]That's alright, it's quite obscure. It relates to an attraction that the Tampa Busch Gardens had until recently; damn, what a lame ride.[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quote:post_uid0="Derek"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Incredible amount of fivers. Took me a while to get through them.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]No Kidding! o_O I had to take them in installments. Good jobs by all -- almost made me sorry I'm not more of a gamer.

Almost. :p

In particular, I thought the multifiver was just brilliant. [i:post_uid0]Great[/i:post_uid0] stuff, IJD!

Choice bits:

[i:post_uid0]tr1[/i:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Atlanteans: Go to hell, Natia!
Natia: I'm from there, idiots.
Atlanteans: Hmm ... Then you will be forced to live the rest of your life in-- Des Moines!
Natia: Nooo![/quote:post_uid0]A fate worse than death! :D

[i:post_uid0]tr2[/i:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Lara: Alas, the end. Time to take a shower right in front of you fanboys. Hahaha, you wish. Pow!
(The water drips down (and you don't get to see it so nyah nyah) at Ludicrous Speed.)[/quote:post_uid0]*snicker*

[i:post_uid0]House of the Dead[/i:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Agent 2: Wait. We know for a fact that guys are coming behind us. So the scientists we rescue ...
Agent 1: Are all toast, I know. Fortunately,we get life based o how many we save, not on how many survive.
Agent 2: Oh.
----------------
Agent 2: Hang on ... if this is no trap, who are you?
Green Zombies: Uh ... would you believe dust bunnies?[/quote:post_uid0]This one had me laughing most of the way through. :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quote:post_uid0="ijdgaf"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Derek"]I don't get the Martin Short/Floridian thing though (sorry to say).[/quote:post_uid0]
That's alright, it's quite obscure. Â It relates to an attraction that the Tampa Busch Gardens had until recently; damn, what a lame ride.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Figured it had to be something like that. ;)[/color:post_uid0]