June 10

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]

Welcome to the first birthday party of Five-Minute Deep Space Nine (../ds9)! Before one year ago, we did have DS9 fivers, but the section wasn't a regular producer like 5MST or 5MNG and didn't have a section head. It always bugged me that this one Trek series didn't get the status the others had at 5MV, even though we were all fans of it. That was one problem -- the other was what to do with Derek Dean. Since around August 2002, Derek had been writing fivers so fast we thought he had to be getting his brains fried by a psychic vampire muse thing on the side. Like Kira before him, he didn't ask to join the staff, he wrote his way into it. So we had a subsite without a head and a prospective staffer without a subsite -- Occam's Razor, anyone?


5MD has prospered under Derek's leadership, and we're all proud to see it reach the one-year mark. So, as we at 5MV are wont to do, we've prepared a little celebration of the anniversary. Over the next three days (counting today), we'll be publishing nine DS9 fivers. To kick things off, Derek has done the three-episode Eddington/Maquis arc: "For the Cause (../ds9/fiver.php?ep=forthecause)," "For the Uniform (../ds9/fiver.php?ep=fortheuniform)," and "Blaze of Glory (../ds9/fiver.php?ep=blazeofglory)."


You'll also notice some changes at 5MD itself -- it's the latest subsite to get the PHP treatment. I've fine-tuned and added a lot of details to the fiver pages; as much as possible has been automated. The season pages have a new look, and the front page has been converted to the "menu" style of the other Trek subsites. Poke around; you'll find some interesting changes. (Not everything is filled in yet, most notably the blurbs, but they're coming.)


So raise a raktajino to 5MD -- one year strong, with many enemies yet to conquer in glorious battle -- and make sure to come back today and Saturday.[/color:post_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hear, hear! *raises bottle of bloodwine*

Loved the Logan's Run reference, by the way.

Gatac[/color:post_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Eep! Three fivers? :eek:

Happy 1-year, 5MD, and most definitely thanx to Derek for repeated, high-density R&A, but I'm going to have to come back tomorrow to give this the attention it deserves. Sleep now.[/color:post_uid0]

[admiral sab]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]YAY! Happy Birthday!

awesome. Now I must read the fivers!

Sab[/color:post_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Sisko: Let me put it differently. Either pilot us away from the Jem'Hadar or I'll fire you again... at the Jem'Hadar.[/quote:post_uid0]

There's a word for that kind of threat: effective. :)

I also especially liked :

[quote:post_uid0]O'Brien: The Maquis aren't so bad. Right?
Worf: Wrong, the Maquis are traitors and deserve death. Right, Eddington?
Eddington: I have no comment.
O'Brien: Why does your eye twitch every time someone says "Maquis"?

Kira: It didn't. All of the ship's computers crashed.
Sisko: Ah, I was wondering when space had suddenly become blue.

Eddington: I am so Canadian -- as surely as my name is Leftenant Commander Eddington. [/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]5MD has prospered under Derek's leadership, and we're all proud to see it reach the one-year mark.[/quote:post_uid0]

I second the motion. My compliments to Derek for a great inaugural 5MD year, and my thanks for the terrific 5MNG fivers he still finds time to write.

[quote:post_uid0]The season pages have a new look[/quote:post_uid0]

Which is very attractive! I like it a lot.[/color:post_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Wooo! Congrats Derek. :) Yay for fiverdom. And now that i've seen all the DS9 episodes, these all make sense![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid5]Ooh, a bunch of DS9 fivers! :D


[quote:post_uid5]Odo: An inspection. The only question is, will it take 2 hours, 4 hours, 6 hours, or 8 hours?
Kasidy: I'd like to use a lifeline and call Ben.
Sisko: (over the comm) Odo, make it take 0 hours.
Odo: That's cheating![/quote:post_uid5]
Heeheehee.

[quote:post_uid5]Worf: Wrong, the Maquis are traitors and deserve death. Right, Eddington?
Eddington: I have no comment.
O'Brien: Why does your eye twitch every time someone says "Maquis"?

...
Kira: Garak, can I talk to you about your date with Ziyal?
Garak: Certainly, Major. What do you have to say?
Kira: You probably should have that black eye looked at before you cancel your date with her.
Garak: What black --
(PUNCH!)

Kasidy: Hi, Ben. How'd you find out we were smugglers?
Sisko: Eddington painted "Maquis Smuggler" on the side of your ship.
Kasidy: Eddington did that? Why that no-good, lying traitor!
Sisko: Wait, Eddington's a traitor?

Eddington: Load those breadmakers on to that unmarked ship over there and then take control of the station.
Reese: Okay.
Eddington: Oh, and Major? I'd do something about that black eye before Sisko returns.
Kira: What black --
(PUNCH!)[/quote:post_uid5]
:lol:


[quote:post_uid5]Sanders: What about Colonel West?
Sisko: What does Odo have to do with anything?

...
Sisko: Eddington thinks of himself as the hero. Now what does every hero want to do?
Dax: Get the girl.
Sisko: Besides that.
Dax: Make witty comments?
Sisko: Surrender, Dax! The hero wants to surrender! Have you learned nothing from Picard?[/quote:post_uid5]
:lol:



[quote:post_uid5]Martok: The Klingons gave the Maquis a book entitled How to Build a Big Pack of Missiles and Fly Them Straight Towards Cardassia.
Sisko: Sigh. This Maquis thing sounds like A-plot material, which unfortunately means I'm probably going to have to deal with --

Sisko: Wake up, Eddington.
Eddington: Hi, Captain. What do you want?
Sisko: The Maquis sent a transmission saying they're going to blow up Cardassia with some missiles.
Eddington: Ah, yes, our Dreadnought missiles. They're unstoppable.
Sisko: Surely you don't really mean that.
Eddington: I do. The only person who could bring down those missiles was B'Elanna Torres. And don't call me Shirley.[/quote:post_uid5]
:D[/color:post_uid5]

[mudshark]

[quote:post_uid0="Gatac"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Loved the Logan's Run reference, by the way.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ditto.

From "Five-Minute Le Miz" ... er, "For the Uniform"
[quote:post_uid0]Sanders: I've got some bad news. Starfleet is promoting me to Colonel and charging me with bringing in Eddington.
Sisko: I didn't think Colonel was a valid rank in Starfleet.
Sanders: What about Colonel Weest?
Sisko: What does Odo have to do with anything? [/quote:post_uid0]
aaannnd ..... wait for it ...
[quote:post_uid0]Sanders: (over the holo-comm) We were attacked by Eddington. We're stuck here.
Sisko: Stuck here? You should still be out there looking for Eddington.
Sanders: Perhaps you misunderstood. Our ship is crippled. We're dead in space.
Sisko: What's the matter, Colonel Sanders - chicken? [/quote:post_uid0] :D I was hoping you'd do that. :lol:

Also
[quote:post_uid0]O'Brien: Maybe you missed that "two weeks" estimate, but the [i:post_uid0]Defiant's[/i:post_uid0] kinda broken.
Sisko: So what [i:post_uid0]does[/i:post_uid0] work?
O'Brien: Nog, but he's not technically part of the ship.
Sisko: A couple of well-placed staples and we can fix that problem. [/quote:post_uid0]Staples, heh heh heh.

On the last one, I hit the wall; there's [i:post_uid0]something[/i:post_uid0] going on in "Blaze of Glory" and it's going to drive me nuts until I figure out what it is.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]VERY funny fivers!

[quote:post_uid0]Bashir: Would you stop looking at Ziyal?
Garak: What's wrong with it? We're both half-Cardassian.
Bashir: You're half-Cardassian? What's your other half?
Garak: Why, Cardassian, of course.
[/quote:post_uid0]

So typically Garak, :D

[quote:post_uid0]Sisko: Can you follow Eddington, Sanders?
Sanders: (over the holo-comm) Sure can. By the way, aren't these new holo-communicators cool?
Sisko: Yeah, I'm sure we'll see people using these things all the time now.
[/quote:post_uid0]

Oh yes indeed...

[quote:post_uid0]Odo: (over the holo-comm) Yeah, just a simple Breen nursery rhyme, "Rock-a-bye baby in the frozen tree top."
Sisko: So how does that help us?
Odo: It ends "When the brittle bough snaps, the cradle will slide, and the Maquis will rendezvous at Portas Five."
[/quote:post_uid0]

:D

[quote:post_uid0]Sisko: Mr. Worf, attach trilithium to our torpedoes and patch me through on Maquis frequencies.
Worf: Are we blowing up a sun, sir?
Sisko: No, that would just be heartless. (ahem) Attention all Maquis, we are going to poison all your planets.
[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Dax: Aren't you afraid Starfleet's going to bust you back to Cadet for poisoning the planet?
Sisko: Nah, I've got a "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
[/quote:post_uid0]

Bwahahaha :D

And, of course, Blaze of Glory, my personal favourite today, ;)

[quote:post_uid0]Eddington: Mmm. Replicated food. You know, if you close your eyes, it almost feels like you're eating runny eggs.
Sisko: That's pretty impressive considering it's an apple.
[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Rebecca: Michael! You're brown.
Eddington: Captain, I'd like you to meet my wife Rebecca.
Rebecca: Greetings. You should sit down if you're tired.
Sisko: Does she always talk like that?
Eddington: Yeah, we always make her record our messages so people will think it's encoded.
[/quote:post_uid0]

Hilarious stuff :D :D[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]DS9 Rocks!

So do DS9 Fivers!

[quote:post_uid0]Sisko: Surely you don't really mean that.
Eddington: I do. The only person who could bring down those missiles was B'Elanna Torres. And don't call me Shirley. [/quote:post_uid0]

All hail [color=BLUE:post_uid0]AIRPLANE![/color:post_uid0] and [color=BLUE:post_uid0]AIRPLANE 2:The Sequel[/color:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="mudshark"]On the last one, I hit the wall; there's [i:post_uid0]something[/i:post_uid0] going on in "Blaze of Glory" and it's going to drive me nuts until I figure out what it is.[/quote:post_uid0]
Well, let me know when you figure it out, cause I'd sure like to know. "Blaze of Glory" does have a different feel to me than most of my other fivers, but I don't know if there was anything deliberate on my part.


Thanks, everyone for the congrats. I've really enjoyed being a section head and working with guest writers. Here's to another year of Niner Fivers.[/color:post_uid0]

[Tate]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Sisko: Who's there? Who are you?
Voice: Who am I? Can I conceal myself forevermore? Pretend I'm not the man I was before?
[/quote:post_uid0] :lol: Nice reference.

[quote:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Sisko: Surely you don't really mean that.
Eddington: I do. The only person who could bring down those missiles was B'Elanna Torres. And don't call me Shirley.[/quote:post_uid0]

All hail AIRPLANE! and AIRPLANE 2:The Sequel[/quote:post_uid0]I didn't care that much for Airplane 2, but Airplane was good (from what I remember) and very funny. And [i:post_uid0]that's[/i:post_uid0] a nice reference too.

Good job, Derek.[/color:post_uid0]

[Quinalla]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Wow, what a treat to get all these DS9 fivers :) Thank you, they were all hilarious!

[quote:post_uid0]Worf: Excellent. Death to the opposition![/quote:post_uid0]
Hehe, now I am going to have to watch "Take Me Out to the Holosuite" again, thank goodness for DVD box sets!

[quote:post_uid0]Eddington: (over the comm) Ha ha! Fooled you! Now stop persecuting us.
Sisko: Not likely.
Eddington: Then I'll give a speech.
Sisko: Crap. [/quote:post_uid0]
The dreaded speechifying!

[quote:post_uid0]Kira: We're too late. This planet's also been poisoned. I've -- Hey, look! There's Eddington!
Eddington: (over the holo-comm) I'm giving you a choice. Either you can catch me or you can save all the Cardassians from crashing.
Sisko: Since I'm the hero, I should be able to do both just to spite you.
Eddington: Did you miss our Les Mis scene? I'm the hero.
Sisko: Crap. [/quote:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Sisko: Surrender, Dax! The hero wants to surrender! Have you learned nothing from Picard? [/quote:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Station's Log: Do you hear the people sing? Singing that I've caught Eddington? [/quote:post_uid0]
Hehe, all very funny.

[quote:post_uid0]Eddington: You go on ahead. I'll keep the Jem'Hadar back.
Sisko: Okay.
Eddington: Okay? You were supposed to talk me out of that idea!
Sisko: La la! I can't hear you! [/quote:post_uid0]
If he wants to play the hero, let him, right? :)

[quote:post_uid0]Eddington: No, I was going to posit that we're really living in a simulated environment, like a ship in a bottle or something. [/quote:post_uid0]
/chuckle[/color:post_uid0]