Block 25 - Dodge this

[Zeke]

Brown (Stark!) and Jones burst in on Smith with the news of what's happened downstairs. Meanwhile, Neo and Trinity get into an elevator, break open the roof, and do a cool trick with the elevator cable to pull themselves all the way up the shaft in moments. (Neo mutters "There is no spoon" for reassurance.) They leave behind a pack of explosives that engulfs the ground floor in fire, presumably to cut off pursuit.

Neo and Trinity exit on the roof and take down the guards there. They don't get the helicopter pilot in time, and he warps into an Agent, who attacks Neo. Neo manages to dodge most of the Agent's bullets by slowing down time as we saw Trinity do in the opening sequence, but one rips through his thigh, weakening him long enough for the Agent to get the drop on him. Fortunately, Trinity likewise gets the drop on the Agent -- coming up behind him with a point-blank shot to the head. The Agent lives but the body dies; Trinity and Neo are safe for the moment.

Synopsis here (http://www.hackvan.com/pub/stig/scripture/matrix/30-dodge-this.txt). This should be only one or two scenes, I think.

[NeoMatrix]

Agent Smith: What is going on?
Agent Brown: It's raining sir
Agent Smith: Why is it raining inside?
Agent Jones: Because Mr Anderson and that Hot Chick are in the building
Agent Smith: Has Elvis left yet?
Agent Jones: I'm afraid so

--------------------------------------------------------------
Neo: Is there room for two on this elevator?
Trinity: Yes, but you must leave your spoon behind
Neo: There is no spoon
(The lobby, which was just redecorated by our heros, is now engulfed in flames)

or

Trinity: Is there room for two on this elevator?
Neo: Yes, but you must leave your bazooka behind
Trinity: There is no bazooka
(The lobby, which was just redecorated by our heros, is now engulfed in flames)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Agent Jones: Hey Mr. Anderson, it's Bullet Time
*Neo dodges bullets*
Neo: BTW, my name is Neo
Agent Jones: Whatever, time to die
Trinity: Dodge This!
*Agent Disappers*
Neo: That foot of yours is deadly
Trinity: My foot is more powerful than you can possibly imagine

or

Neo: What's wrong? Is it a big ugly bug?
Trinity: No, only it's only Agent Jones
Agent Jones: Sorry, Agent Smith can't hog all the screen time..yet.
*Bullet Time*
Neo: Ow, back sprain!
Agent Jones: You should stretch before dodging bullets like that
Trinity: Dodge This!
*Agent Disappears*
Neo: He didn't stretch.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Gatac]

Smith: I'm singing in the rain...
Brown: Just singing in the rain...
Jones: What a glorious feeling...
Morpheus: I'm happy again!

Trinity: Wow, Neo, you're fast!
Neo: I'm an Artful Dodger.
Jones: But you worked with Craig David! DIE NEO, DIE!
Trinity: Now, that's not a nice thing to say.
Jones: It's German for "The Neo, the!"
Trinity: Sidekick quotes Sideshow and gets sidelined.
Neo: Side-splitting. Re-re-load, crowd say bo...
Trinity: SELECTAH!

Gatac

[Karen's Ziti]

AGENT SMITH: Now Morpheus, I think you'll look really pretty in this hot leather skintight outfit just let me get those pants off ---
AGENT BROWN: What are you doing?
AGENT SMITH: Uh, I uh you see? ... geez, where's a convenient distraction when you need one.
SPRINKLER SYSTEM: Water, water, water.
AGENT SMITH: That'll do nicely.

[NAHTMMM]

Trinity: Run, Neo! It's a trap!
Neo: Eep!
Neo's Guns: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM click
Neo: Oops.
Jones: DODGE DODGE DODGE DODGE BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
Neo: DODGE DODGE DODGE DODGE OW!
Jones: Foolish human. Only now at the end do you understand that I am your fath--
Trinity's Gun: BLAM
Trinity: Thank goodness I stopped him in time.
Neo: Awwww, why'd you kill the body before he finished the sentence? I wanna know what he was going to say!
Trinity: No you don't.

[KillerGodMan]

AGENT SMITH: Now Morpheus, I think you'll look really pretty in this hot leather skintight outfit just let me get those pants off

How about continueing the block with this?

Brown: What are you doing?
Smith: You did not see me doing anything with Morpheus
Brown and Jones: We did not see you doing anything with Morpheus
Smith: The sprinklers will go off
Sprinklers: I will go off *whoosh*

-----

Neo: Diediediediediediedie!
Jones: I don't think so! DIE NEO! DIE!
Neo: Wooo! Bullet Time! *snap* OW!
Jones: Time to die, ACK!
Trinity: Who says I have to warn them?

[Standback]

Smith: I'm singing in the rain...
Brown: Just singing in the rain...
Jones: What a glorious feeling...
Morpheus: I'm happy again!

Comedy gold :D I love it.

Ummm... the old 'tried and true', perhaps? Or is it tired?

Jones: ...And this is for Johnny Mnemonic! And that's for Chain Reaction! And that's for--
Trinity: Point Blank.
Jones: GAK!
Trinity: Damn. Missed.

[Zeke]

Oo, clever. But we used Point Blank. Maybe we could go back and replace it.

[KillerGodMan]

I'm going to try the "game code" thing here

(this'd be a continuation of what I wrote for another block)

Smith: The trick didn't work, NOW GIMME CODES!
Morpheus: Oh, fine then; Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No it boosts your attack by 100000000000 for the entire battle

[PointyHairedJedi]

Oo, clever. But we used Point Blank. Maybe we could go back and replace it.
Also, there's the fact that the film is actually called Point Break. ;)

[Standback]

Ummm, yeah. What time of night did I make that post, anyway?

Sooo... either we of the FBC have managed to prove themselves incapable of correctly quoting two words... twice... or PHJ's stolen the IMDB admin codes and enjoys practical jokes.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Sooo... either we of the FBC have managed to prove themselves incapable of correctly quoting two words... or PHJ's stolen the IMDB admin codes and enjoys practical jokes.
*Strolls by, whistling innocently*

[Chancellor Valium]

Point Blank is a game, 'though, for the PS1.....you could always try that.... :wink:

[Gatac]

And there's the Point Blank movie with Dan Acroyd, but Keanu Reeves wasn't in it.

Gatac

[Zeke]

I think it's time we started narrowing things down a bit. Which attempts do you folks like best so far?

[Standback]

Gatac's "Singing in the Rain"!

...not particularly enthused with any of the "Dodge This" scenes, but haven't come up with anything better of my own, so can't complain. Unless I come up with something better of my own.

[KillerGodMan]

I don't really know what to think, the only one of mine I'm pleased with is my game block...

[KillerGodMan]

Smith: The trick didn't work, NOW GIMME CODES!
Morpheus: Oh, fine then; Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No it boosts your attack by 100000000000 for the entire battle

This one...

[Pteryx]

Hm, so we need a "Dodge this" block that people like? Let me give it a try:

Neo: *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *click* Wow, you're good.
Jones: Dodgeball, dodge ballistics, it's all the same. Your turn! *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
Neo: WheeeeeeeEEYOW!
Trinity: *BANG*
Neo: Uh, isn't holding it right up to his head like that cheating?

[Standback]

I'll try a couple of "dodge this" alternatives as well:

Neo: Noooooooooo!
Agent Jones: Diiiiiiie, Neeeeeoooo--GAK!
Neo: Ooooh, nice shot, Trin.
Trinity: They're easier to hit when they move in slow-motion like that.

Agent Jones: Prepare to die, Neo--
Trinity: Dodge this!
Agent Jones: GAK!
Trinity: And this! And this! And also this, this and this!
Neo: Ouch. Ex-boyfriend?

[Standback]

Oo, clever. But we used Point Blank. Maybe we could go back and replace it.
Also, there's the fact that the film is actually called Point Break. ;)

Dagnabbit, PHJ, I just looked back at that block's thread, and you were the one who brought up the name Point Blank in the first place!

The moral of the story is: That which goes around, may yet return to dust the kiln.
Something like that, anyway.

[Standback]

The idea amuses me... Somebody else, or myself at some later time, might be able to phrase it so it's funnier.

Trinity: Dodge this!
Trinity's Pistol: *click*
Trinity: Ahahahaha. Um, never mind.

[NeoMatrix]

Trinity: Dodge This!
Trinity's Pistol: *click*
Agent Jones: Your Empty
Trinity: So are you, but what if I told you I had one more bullet in my gun?
Agent Jones: I think your bluffing
Neo: Dodge This!
Agent Jones: Uh oh! *GAK!*
Trinity: Took you long enough.
Neo: Sorry, I had to reload.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Dagnabbit, PHJ, I just looked back at that block's thread, and you were the one who brought up the name Point Blank in the first place!
And I was corrected by someone (I can't remember who). but for some reason the correction didn't make it into the final block.

Also, inspired by Michiel's mention of Blackadder in the other thread, I present this idea for the "dodge" block:

Neo: Have you heard of the poem "The German Guns", Agent Jones? It goes "Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom..."
Jones: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM; BOOM, BOOM--"
Trinity: "--Boom".

[KillerGodMan]

Trinity: Dodge This!
Trinity's Pistol: *click*
Agent Jones: Your Empty
Trinity: So are you, but what if I told you I had one more bullet in my gun?
Agent Jones: I think your bluffing
Neo: Dodge This!
Agent Jones: Uh oh! *GAK!*
Trinity: Took you long enough.
Neo: Sorry, I had to reload.

Yes, yes, Good, Best I've seen yet!

[Standback]

Neo: Have you heard of the poem "The German Guns", Agent Jones? It goes "Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom..."
Jones: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM; BOOM, BOOM--"
Trinity: "--Boom".

:D ::likesies::

[Rayinne]

I'll back that one, PHJ.

[Standback]

Quick! Everybody vote in favor before we return to impenetrable quagmire!

...or something.

[NeoMatrix]

My vote does for The German Guns, only because I don't want to vote for my own.

[KillerGodMan]

I second that,

German Guns is a go!

[KillerGodMan]

Smith: GIMME CODES!
Morpheus: Oh, fine then; Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No it boosts your attack by 100000000000 for the entire battle

I like this one too, even though it IS mine:wink:

[Pteryx]

I'll back German Guns too. Funny, short, and sums up the scene well enough if you've already seen the movie. :) -- Pteryx

[KillerGodMan]

Smith Ranting:


Smith: GIMME CODES!
Morpheus: Oh, fine then; Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No it boosts your attack by 100000000000 for the entire battle


"Dodge This" scene:


Neo: Have you heard of the poem "The German Guns", Agent Jones? It goes "Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom..."
Jones: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM; BOOM, BOOM--"
Trinity: "--Boom".

This combonation is what I back

[PointyHairedJedi]

That sounds good to me.

[Standback]

Not very fond of KGM's code block, I'm afraid. If we do a Morpheus/Jones scene, well, the one I really liked was Gatac's:

Smith: I'm singing in the rain...
Brown: Just singing in the rain...
Jones: What a glorious feeling...
Morpheus: I'm happy again!

[PointyHairedJedi]

Taking KGM's idea and altering it slightly:

Smith: The codes, Morpheus!
Morpheus Oh fine then; Left Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select.
Smith: And that will let us access the Zion mainframe?
Morpheus: No, that's the cheat for enabling Bullet Time.
Smith: Hey Jones, did you get all that?

Which leads into the "German Guns" block quite nicely, I think.

[Standback]

Now that I like. :)

[KillerGodMan]

I agree

The two blocks (Code and German Guns) have my vote

[Xeroc]

I would also agree! :D

[Pteryx]

I'd say the Bullet-Time Code/German Guns combo is the winner here too. :) -- Pteryx

[Rayinne]

New Code / German Guns is also my choice. We have a block!

[KillerGodMan]

Fantabulus!

[NAHTMMM]

Would it be too evil if we altered the first part so it all went like this? ;)


Smith: GIMME CODES!
Morpheus: Oh, fine then; Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select.
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No, it multiplies your attacking force by 1,000,000 for the entire battle.
Smith: Hmm, that might come in handy someday.

Neo: Have you heard of the poem "The German Guns", Agent Jones? It goes "Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom..."
Jones: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM; BOOM, BOOM--"
Trinity: "--Boom".

[Xeroc]

Would it be too evil if we altered the first part so it all went like this? ;)


Smith: GIMME CODES!
Morpheus: Oh, fine then; Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select.
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No, it multiplies your attacking force by 1,000,000 for the entire battle.
Smith: Hmm, that might come in handy someday.

Neo: Have you heard of the poem "The German Guns", Agent Jones? It goes "Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom..."
Jones: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM; BOOM, BOOM--"
Trinity: "--Boom".
Nope, Just Evil Enough! :twisted: :D

[KillerGodMan]

Would it be too evil if we altered the first part so it all went like this? ;)


Smith: GIMME CODES!
Morpheus: Oh, fine then; Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select.
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No, it multiplies your attacking force by 1,000,000 for the entire battle.
Smith: Hmm, that might come in handy someday.

Neo: Have you heard of the poem "The German Guns", Agent Jones? It goes "Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom..."
Jones: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM; BOOM, BOOM--"
Trinity: "--Boom".

Change Smith's first line in the first block to:
Smith: Can I have the Codes, please?

or

Smith: I'll give you a cookie for the codes...

or

Smith: The codes Morpheus...

[Flixibixi]

^ Cookie. Because cookies are always fun.

[Michiel]

What about an M&M?

[Rayinne]

A red one, of course!

[NAHTMMM]

^Ooo, good point :)


Yes, the second of KGM's suggestions would be the one I'd base the new line on. It's the funniest of the lot.

[Pteryx]

Hmm... I could go for either PHJ's "Bullet-Time Code" or NAH's foreshadowing-modification of KGM's block ("multiplies your attacking force"). Either way, yes, Smith should offer him a red M&M. :) -- Pteryx

[NAHTMMM]

So I guess we're all agreed that this is our block for this part?

Smith: I'll give you a red M&M for the codes...
Morpheus: Oh, fine then; Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select.
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No, it multiplies your attacking force by 1,000,000 for the entire battle.
Smith: Hmm, that might come in handy someday.

Neo: Have you heard of the poem "The German Guns", Agent Jones? It goes "Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom..."
Jones: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM; BOOM, BOOM--"
Trinity: "--Boom".

[Xeroc]

So I guess we're all agreed that this is our block for this part?

Smith: I'll give you a red M&M for the codes...
Morpheus: Oh, fine then; Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select.
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No, it multiplies your attacking force by 1,000,000 for the entire battle.
Smith: Hmm, that might come in handy someday.

Neo: Have you heard of the poem "The German Guns", Agent Jones? It goes "Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom..."
Jones: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM; BOOM, BOOM--"
Trinity: "--Boom".
I agree. :D

[Gatac]

I take it this kills "Singing in the rain" ?

Gatac

[Pteryx]

Ayuh. -- Pteryx

[NeoMatrix]

So I guess we're all agreed that this is our block for this part?

Smith: I'll give you a red M&M for the codes...
Morpheus: Oh, fine then; Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select.
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No, it multiplies your attacking force by 1,000,000 for the entire battle.
Smith: Hmm, that might come in handy someday.

Neo: Have you heard of the poem "The German Guns", Agent Jones? It goes "Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom..."
Jones: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM; BOOM, BOOM--"
Trinity: "--Boom".
I agree. :D

Im with it too. Make it so!

[PointyHairedJedi]

Huuzah! We have a consensus!

One block down, two to go.

[richardson]

Heh, definately will come in handy for revolution's fiver.

Smith: Hah, check out my sweet new army!
Neo: How in the heck-
Smith: Morpheus gave me the code.
Neo: Man, he's cuased way too many problems...

(That would be a nice scene. Definately need this block, it'll just set up for some madness in the future.)

[KillerGodMan]

Heh, definately will come in handy for revolution's fiver.

Reloaded, it's RELOADED, Revolutions was the one that really sucked

[richardson]

No, smith had less than 100 hims in reloaded. The one where he had more than 10,000 of him was in revolutions. Remeber the scenes where neo fights smith for the last time? It's perfect for the sequel to this. and of course, he can rag on morpheus in reloaded for giving him the code, and ask for it himself...

[KillerGodMan]

Yes, but only the original smith fought Neo in Revolutions, the other Smiths fought in Reloaded

And becides, it's the same movie, it's just split into two movies, like Kill Bill

[JobeGDG]

Okay, I know that the decision is pretty much made, but now that I've finally discovered that FBC is back in action, I just couldn't resist giving this one a shot... Sorry in advance.

Jones: DodgeDodgeDodgeDodgeDodge!
Neo: Rats, those were my last two guns... er... Rock-Paper-Scissors?
Jones: Hmm... Very well. On shoot:
Neo & Jones: One, Two, Three, Shoot!
Trinity: I concur.

[Zeke]

Thread closed, and man, that's a good Morpheus/Smith scene.