Bishops required, apply within....

[Chancellor Valium]

Anyone interested in becoming a bishop of Fiverdom, please PM me.
Send
- reasons for wanting to be bishop
- male or female
- reasons for wanting to be bishop
I was thinking of about four, maybe more....
those who I choose for the shortlist will then be put into a poll and everyone else will be able to vote for one they want kicked off, stating reasons why...then more sifting, then another poll etc....If noone minds, that is...

[Zeke]

You get to choose who the bishop is? Who do you think you are, Obadiah Stane? </obscure comics reference which I hope somebody gets>

[Gatac]

Zeke: Iron Monger, right?

(For those of you with no comic experience, Obadiah Stane was one of the more dangerous villains Tony Stark AKA Iron Man faced - he even drove old Tony into lasting alcoholism after ruining him.)

Gatac

[Zeke]

WOOT! The very first poster gets it! But do you know what he has to do with bishops?

(I went on a huge comic-collecting binge this summer... back issues from the 80s are going for $2 each in the stores I go to, and there were some fine, fine stories being told back then. I managed to fill out my Iron Man collection immensely -- I now have almost every issue from #140 to #280. That includes the Obadiah Stane arc, which dominated Denny O'Neil's run on Iron Man. An annoying exception is #200; I haven't been able to run down a copy yet.)

[Gatac]

Yeah, he used a series of chess-themed henchmen to attack Iron Man, starting with the slightly ridiculous-looking rook on a visit to Scotland, I think. The Bishop had some sorta weird powers, but all I recall about him was that he had this really big hat which contained the machinery to support it's tricks. And the Queen was Tony's pretend girlfriend who dumped him so bad that he got stuck on the bottle.

That was probably one of the weirder line of henchmen in Iron Man, and that's really saying something. The whole "disgraced Tony" arc dragged a bit, but it saw the rise of the silver armor, so no complaints.

http://www.advancediron.com

Good source for those who don't have time to read through some 300+ comics. (And that's just the first run, though admittedly by far the longest.)

Gatac

[Zeke]

Ten out of ten, plus one for style. For his first few issues, Stane was an unidentified shadowy figure who sent chess-themed henchmen -- the Chessmen -- to do his dirty work. First came the Knight, then the Bishop (who not only dressed like a clergyman but talked like a parody of one, demanding that Iron Man "repent"; his mitre contained a device that weakened Iron Man's will, giving him the advantage). The Rook was interesting because he was a more abstract threat; while there was a guy who dressed like a rook, instead of fighting Iron Man personally he set up a series of deathtraps for him in a castle, so the guy and the castle together were the Rook. (Stane had pawns too, but they were just short guys who acted as pageboys for him.) And yes, as Gatac noted, the Queen was a metaphor. Stane hired a woman named Indries Moomji to fake an accident at Stark Enterprises so she would meet Tony and he would fall for her -- we later found out this was because she had some kind of pheromone powers. At just the right moment, Indries not only dumped Tony but tore into him personally; with his business already under heavy attack and his strength sapped by weeks of fighting, this was the final push that drove Tony back to the bottle.

Sorry. As you can see, I love to talk about comics. The Stane arc was revolutionary at the time; it took a hard, realistic look at alcoholism, was the prototype for countless "brilliant villain wears down the hero mentally and physically" stories to follow (the biggest being Knightfall), and introduced Marvel's first really prominent black superhero when Jim Rhodes took over as Iron Man. (The Black Panther had been around for a while, but he didn't have his own title.) Interestingly, DC Comics did the exact same thing with Green Lantern at about the same time, replacing Hal Jordan with John Stewart.

[Chancellor Valium]

You get to choose who the bishop is? Who do you think you are, Obadiah Stane? </obscure comics reference which I hope somebody gets>
Who do I think I am? Archbishop of Fiverbury; what else? The post, though mostly honourary, does give me the right, as laid down by king Splurt the Insufferable in 1023.....I thought you would have read the history of your own land :roll: ...

[Sa'ar Chasm]

I declare a schism, with myself as Opposable-Thumbed Primate.

[Chancellor Valium]

I declare that your declaration is not allowed - you're not part of the Fiverian Clergy! become a bishop first, THEN declare a schism over women bishops or something. :D .

[Zeke]

WOMEN BISHOPS? Wow, if you have those, I'm schisming right now. If the idea of women walking around with huge phallic symbols on their heads appeals to you, I sure don't want you running my religion.

[Chancellor Valium]

No, no it doesn't appeal to me one iota. or eta. Or theta, Zeta, Gamma, Phi, Psi or Nu. That's for Sa'ar to decide he wants and schism with the main Fiverish Union over....

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Women bishops for all! My half of the schism (whatever it ends up calling itself) is progressive, and stands for equal opportunity employment, forward thinking and trying to pick up girls at the office.

Oh, and orgies.

[Zeke]

After much contemplation and discussion, I'm converting to Sa'ar's branch of the faith, based primarily on its doctrine of lesbian bishop orgies. We're now taking applications for ordination. If interested, please send your measurements and at least one photograph for consideration of holiness. From male converts, we are currently accepting credit card numbers with expiry dates as proof of faith.

[Nan]

I like this sect. :D

[Scooter]

Sorry. As you can see, I love to talk about comics.

Me too. Isn't David Brenner funny? And what about that Shecky Greene?

Ha ha ha, I'm just kidding. I actually love comics myself but I'm woefully uninformed about the classics apart from early Fantastic Four and Spider-Man. I wish I'd branched out more into indie stuff, but I'm hopelessly mainstream (lately I've been reading Ultimate Spider-Man). I wasn't even cool enough for Green Lantern for years.

You know what, we so need to have some comic book/graphic novel fivers. That would be totally awesome. They could be like the Cheesers and cover a multi-book storyline (e.g., the whole Death of Superman thing). Especially if they feature lesbian bishops.

P.S. Ioan Griffudd as Reed Richards? Interesting...

[Nan]

Especially if they feature lesbian bishops.

It's all about the hot lesbian sect. :D

(That was for you, Z.)

[Chancellor Valium]

Ookay thats accepted as part of the main faith....

[NAHTMMM]

Let me get this straight.


Valium can promote FOUR of us. Not just one or two, FOUR.
And he basically can promote whichever four he feels like.


And he wants to promote all four to BISHOPS?

:shock: :?


Valium, quit toying with whatever poor hapless slob you're playing against and just make all four of 'em queens. Four or five queens is, like, every player's dream!

[Chancellor Valium]

Ahem. Define Queen. I will hold a referendum to the Synod (ie anyone who wants to vote on women bishops. I don't really mind, but I need to keep the Union together.....So I ask anyone who wants to be a bishop to apply - Ah! now I get the five-bishop thing! As in 5-Minute! Yes! Five bishops then. and me. but that makes 6....we'll vote on that, too.

[Ford Prefect]

I am male.

I wish to be a bishop for the following well-thought out reasons:

1. To be a bishop.

2. To get the half-price admission at the weekend cineman.

3. Well...let';s just say it...the crumpet.

4. Ooh...the hat's quite nice. :shock:

[KillerGodMan]

I am male (obviously)

I wish to be a bishop for the following four reasons

1. To piss off the Pope

2. To piss off the Pope

3. To piss off the Pope

4. For the cool hat

And if reason 2 and 3 are not valid...

5. The amount of power a Bishop gets

6. So I can walk around and have people go "ooh! I wish I had a cool hat like that!

[PointyHairedJedi]

I am male.

I want to be.... a lumberjack!



What was the question again?

[Opium]

I am female.

I out rank all.

I am Herione of Laudanum ...I don't need to be a Bishop.

Nah Nah.

[Flixibixi]

Let me get this straight.

*snicker*

I am female. (I'm also Hejira, for those who remember me and didn't get that I'm kinda back yet.)

I should be a bishop because:

1. An Australian accent is sexy.
1a. If it isn't, I'm very good with accents. And funny voices.

2. A church needs insanity; who in their right mind would buy Sims 2 if they didn't have a computer that could play it?

3. I've already belonged to three different Internet sect things. I know what I'm doing. Yes, with this steak knife. Wow, look at me go.

4. *hits someone on the head with a golf ball* I did warn you.

[Chancellor Valium]

This plan has been abandoned due to lack of funding. Please leave this thread to die slowly, and, DO NOT FEED THE CARRION ON ANY ACCOUNT!
Oh, and Share and Enjoy! :wink:

[Sa'ar Chasm]

No paddling with the occult, either. Necromancy is frowned upon 'round these parts.

Unless you're doing puppet shows.

[Chancellor Valium]

Naming people bishops is also punishable by flogging :P :P

[NAHTMMM]

What is the punishment for flogging, then?

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Golfing.

[Chancellor Valium]

The punishment for golfing is to be forced to listen to the famous Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning.

[PointyHairedJedi]

What, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings isn't available to come and read some of her stuff?

[Chancellor Valium]

No, but I shall post up the worst poem in the universe ASAP......

[Chancellor Valium]

I'll post up the worst poem in the universe asap......

[PointyHairedJedi]

Whoa, deja vú.

[Chancellor Valium]

Sorry. I forgot/didn't see that I'd already posted :roll: