1 minute reviews

[KillerGodMan]

Basicly, if you've read a book or comic/watched a movie or Tv show/played a video game/read a fiver/listened to a song If you want to review it, you can here, be the reviewed from the past, present or future

I'll give an example of each time

Past....

Song: Beautiful Day
Artist: U2
Review: It isn't a wonder why it won three grammy awards

Present....

Movie: I, Robot
Staring: Will Smith
Review: A good movie with a LOT of memorible quotes "You know, somehow 'I told you so' just isn't gonna do it"

Future... (Or early review)

Movie: The Ring 2
Review (as a block this time):
Voice: Seven Banking Days!

There you have it, hopefully this will catch on (i.e: WORK)

[stripysox]

I think its a great idea! :D Can I do 2? Thanks.

Film: Spirited Away
Starring: No idea.
Review: Great animation and a cool story.

TV Show: The Last Chancers
Starring: Adam Buxton and some other people
Shown on: Channel 4/E4 (UK) Starting properly in january somet time.
Review: Extremely awsomely funny. Almost as funny as Zekes top ten lists.

If you didn't get it thats: Today (wednesday)! C4! 10:35pm !

No realy there NOT paying me, I do the same for Enterprie.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Hmm....

Book: Dune
Author: Frank Herbert
Review: If you speak ill of this book, I will hunt you down and shoot you, because it is that good.


Something like that, yes? ;)

[admiral sab]

Book: Star Trek Q Squared
Author: Peter David.

Review: Best Trek Book Ever, IMHO. ;)


TV Show: The Pretender
Starring: Michael T. Weiss, Andrea Parker
Shown on TNT: (They know Drama)

Review: The guy can be anyone he wants to be...except Parker's boyfriend. Tragic.


Movie: The Princess Bride
Starring: Cary Elwes and Jenny from Forest Gump.
Review: You must see this movie if you want to understand the term: R.O.U.S. ;)

[Hotaru]

Movie: Oceans 12
Starring: lot's of people
Review: Watch it! Watch it NOW!

[KillerGodMan]

Game: Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
By: <blinkingtext>NINTENDO!</blinkingtext>
Review: If any of you state the following about the game:
Sucks
Hard
Thinks Dragons rule the world
Poor Grapics

Ahh screw it, if so much as 'bad' and the game are mentioned in the same post by any of you, I will shoot you down with a shotgun, stab you with a spoon, fork and knife, beat you with soggy, burned pasta, and make you watch Gigli - It's that good!

EDIT: Same punishment if you review The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy before I finish reading it!

[Katy Jane]

Game: Metroid Prime 2: Echos
By: <evenbiggerblinkingtext>NINTENDO!</evenbiggerblinkingtext>
Review: *insert sound of Homer drooling here*


*sigh* I love Nintendo :D

[Ginga]

Game: DDR Extreme
By: Konami
Review:

Too.

Freaking.

Addicting.

Good God, I am so glad I bought a PS2. :o

[PointyHairedJedi]

Cartoon: Stargate Infinity
Made by:MGM/CIC Entertainment
Starring: Some people you've never heard of
Review: OW! My brain! IT KILLED MY BRAIN! AHHHHHHHH!!!

I made the mistake of watching two minutes of it. Never, ever again.

[MaverickZer0]

Game: Mega Man Battle Network 4 (Blue Moon)(oh, come on, you knew it was coming)
Made by : Capcom
Review: ...actually, once you get past the euphoria of your favorite Soul Unison, it's not as good as the other games.

[Flixibixi]

Holiday: Christmas
Made by: Little bit of Christianity, little bit of Paganism, little bit of urban legend, mixed in a blender of commercialism.
Review: A birthday party everyone's invited to, whether or not you believe the birthday boy even existed.

[Ginga]

Holiday: Christmas Eve
Made By: Too many people
Review: "Christmas will get here 'soon'."

[KillerGodMan]

<evenbiggerblinkingtext>NINTENDO!</evenbiggerblinkingtext>

Right....

Song: 'Vertigo'
Artist: U2
Review: It's so good, it's worth buying the Cd

[Nan]

Dude, who counts "one, two, three, fourteen"?

X(

Movie: The Red Violin
Made by: A helluva a lot of people, but it's Canadian
Review: Totally AWESOME. Witha rockin' soundtrack. SEE IT. It's got Samuel L. Jackson.

[KillerGodMan]

Dude, who counts "one, two, three, fourteen"?

X(

First, it's an echo of four
And it was Bono, concidering he's the lead singer

[Ginga]

Dude, who counts "one, two, three, fourteen"?

X(

Don't knock it 'till you've tried it. What's really great is skipping all the way to 84. :D

[Nan]

Heathens! Heathens all! ;P

[Hotaru]

According to Bono as played by Colin Farrel on SNL, it goes 1, 2, 3, 14 in an attempt to show how music has no real boundries. You can do whatever you want!

Also, Nan, how did you do the thing in you Avatar with the pattern on the words? I'm such a photoshop newb :cry:

[Nan]

Clipping groups.

[KillerGodMan]

Book: The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Author: Douglas Adams
Review: The BEST book I've ever read
(reviews for other 4 books coming soon)


Movie: The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Expected Release date: May 5 2005
Review: The books and radio series were good, so the movie is bound to be amazing.

[Zeke]

Statement: KGM's second review in the post above
Author: KillerGodMan
Review: Famous last words.

[KillerGodMan]

Statement: KGM's second review in the post above
Author: KillerGodMan
Review: Famous last words.

Oh, COME ON! Oh, wait, never mind, you have a good point.

Then again, look at Harry Potter, Redwall, The Bourne Identity, K'PAX....

[MaverickZer0]

I, Robot and LotR...

Movie: The Bourne Supremacy
Starring: Matt Damon.
Review: An endless mindgame. Fun. Messes with your head. Highly recommended.

Book: Digital Fortress
Author: The person who wrote The Da Vinci Code
Review: Also a mindgame. Bonus points if you figure out any of the final answers before the characters.

[Chancellor Valium]

Game: KotOR
Made By: Bioware and Lucasarts (I think)
Review: Far too addictive! Very good.

[KillerGodMan]

Game: KotOR
Made By: Bioware and Lucasarts (I think)
Review: Far too addictive! Very good.

Continuation

Game: KotOR 2
Same makers
Review: Good, until the end

[Hotaru]

Game: Star Ocean: Till The End Of Time.
Producer: SE
Review: Square-Enix owns my soul, but it was worth it!

[PointyHairedJedi]

Cartoon: Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!
Made by: I haven't a clue.
Review: I actually know nothing about this show except the name, which almost literally seems to be trying to say it all.

Isn't it just the best name for a cartoon ever though? :D

[NAHTMMM]

Oh, COME ON! Oh, wait, never mind, you have a good point.

Then again, look at Harry Potter, Redwall, The Bourne Identity, K'PAX....
*mind freezes up at the horrific implications*

*erases memory of post from mind*

*feels better*




...um, right. Review, review, review... :? *picks one at random*


Book: Shell Game
Starring: McCoy, Spock, Chekov, some one-shots, ehhh Kirk too!
Review: Good Stuff. Spooky!

[JobeGDG]

Book: Dune
Author: Frank Herbert
Review: I am willing to be PHJ's lackey in all matters related to defending the honor of this book. Naysayers, prepare to die.

Movie: Collateral
Stars: Tom Cruise, Jamie Foxx
Review: Closest thing to a film noir released in a good while. Plot=Contrivance. Characters=Fantastic. Writing=Fantastic. Kudos to director Michael Mann on a job well done!

Album: Once
Artist: Nightwish
Review: I'm told that this group is big in their native Finland, and if that's the case, it is entirely justified. I'm not a big fan of metal music, but I love this. The orchestral and choral work is amazing, and the lead vocalist is impressive.

[AKAArzosah]

Dude, who counts "one, two, three, fourteen"?

X(




EXACTLY!

[Celeste]

U2 in the song Vertigo.

[KillerGodMan]

Album: How to dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Artist: U2
Title Track: Fast Cars
Number of Songs: 12
Review: AWESOME-AMAZING-COOL! In other words; really, really, really good.

[Ginga]

Album: American Idiot
Artist: Green Day
Title of Track: Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Review: My mom said it reminded her of Janeway. No wonder I've become so obsessed with it.

[KillerGodMan]

Song: American Idiot
Artist: Green Day
Review: As good as the Album, so reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelay good!

[Vedra]

Book: Pride and Prejudice
Author: Jane Austen
Review: Total snoozefest.

[KillerGodMan]

Vedra! I haven't seen you in awhile!

Book: Silverwing
Author: Kenneth Oppel
Review: A really good book, it's a must read

~

Book: Star Trek: The Q Continuem
Author: Don't remember
Review: An OK book, leaves you wondering a lot of things though, like why Picard WILLINGLY entered the Q continuem

Edit: Sorry Vedra!

[richardson]

actually, it was either that, or else get stranded somewhere in time and space...

not much he could do.

[NAHTMMM]

Book: Death Orbit. #somethingish out of who-knows-how-many in some series or another
Author: Dunno
Review: Laughably bizarre cheeeeeziness softens you up for most of the book, then two or three elementary school - level science mistakes blindside you from out of nowhere and turn your brain to sludge.

[Chancellor Valium]

Book: In search of Lost Time
Author: Marcelle Proust
Review: Do not attempt to read out-loud or otherwise. SENTENCES TOO LONG! Opened this book at a random page, and my brain turned into a small turquoise Turkish Delight which slid out of the back of my head and turned into a butterfly which then exploded.

[KillerGodMan]

Post: The reply Vailum made above me
Author: Chancellor Valium
Review: O_o What the Crap?!

[Chancellor Valium]

Post: KGM's above this one
Author: KGM
Review: Precisely my feelings opening that.....*shudders*.....thing!

[PointyHairedJedi]

Book: Dune
Author: Frank Herbert
Review: I am willing to be PHJ's lackey in all matters related to defending the honor of this book. Naysayers, prepare to die.

A lackey! I have a lackey! Ah, at last I can die content. :D

Show: Babylon 5
Creator: J. M. Strascizansky.... or something
Review: One of the best plotted series I've ever watched, as well as being very well scripted and remarkably consistent in just general terms of quality. Though, on the other hand, it does star Bruce Boxleitner....

[Zeke]

You got a problem with Bruce Boxleitner? Do ya? Punk?

[KillerGodMan]

Movie: Sky Captain and the world of Tomorrow
Staring: Jude Law
Review: A really good movie, about a pilot in a 1945 more advanced than today, worth watching, really

[PointyHairedJedi]

You got a problem with Bruce Boxleitner? Do ya? Punk?
He out-hams even William Shatner. And his teeth are too white. Though not as horribly white as Andrea Thompson's.

[KillerGodMan]

You got a problem with Bruce Boxleitner? Do ya? Punk?
He out-hams even William Shatner. And his teeth are too white. Though not as horribly white as Andrea Thompson's.

Ooh! William Shatner! My family is friends with his family! Really! It's true! Ask my grand-ma even!

[KillerGodMan]

Genre: Reality TV
Creator: An Idiot
Review:

Janeway: Reality TV, I need you to ride a shuttle with Chakotay

It's THAT bad

[PointyHairedJedi]

Ooh! William Shatner! My family is friends with his family! Really! It's true! Ask my grand-ma even!
Well, that's interesting to know.

*Makes a note*

Ever actually met the fella?

[Ginga]

Genre: Reality TV
Creator: An Idiot
Review:

Janeway: Reality TV, I need you to ride a shuttle with Chakotay

It's THAT bad



Have I ever told you how much I love you? You just got promoted to my Cool List.

[MaverickZer0]

Album: American Idiot
Artist: Green Day
Title of Track: Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Review: My mom said it reminded her of Janeway. No wonder I've become so obsessed with it.

Really? 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' always reminded me of ProtoMan. But I can see how it would apply to Janeway if I think about it. (Ow, my head.)

Group: Switchfoot
Album: ...I dunno.
Song: Dare You To Move

Pretty good, and what with the local stations hyping it I get to hear it a lot. Reminds me of Shadow the Hedgehog.

[KillerGodMan]

Ooh! William Shatner! My family is friends with his family! Really! It's true! Ask my grand-ma even!
Well, that's interesting to know.

*Makes a note*

Ever actually met the fella?

No, but from what I've heard from my Mom, he's a bigger ham off-screen than on.





Genre: Reality TV
Creator: An Idiot
Review:

Janeway: Reality TV, I need you to ride a shuttle with Chakotay

It's THAT bad

Have I ever told you how much I love you? You just got promoted to my Cool List.

Really? THANKS! :D :D :D :D :D 8)

[Chancellor Valium]

Thread: 1 minute review
By: KGM
Review: Deader than a dodo.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Thread: Topic Title
Author: MPQ (or was it SimonBob?)
Review: Statement that Topic Title was perhaps ahead of its time. Short but moving epitaph, concluded with an expression of regret at having not known Topic Title for a longer duration.

It's all Valium's fault. Really. :D

[Chancellor Valium]

Thread: Topic Title
Author: MPQ (or was it SimonBob?)
Review: Statement that Topic Title was perhaps ahead of its time. Short but moving epitaph, concluded with an expression of regret at having not known Topic Title for a longer duration.

It's all Valium's fault. Really. :D

Post: Pointy's last in this thread
Author: Pointy
Review: How? I wasn't even aware of this site then!

[PointyHairedJedi]

Post: Valium's last...

No, I don't think we'll go there.

Anyway, it's your fault for making me think of Topic Title in the first place. :P

[Chancellor Valium]

How?

[PointyHairedJedi]

My brain works in mysterious ways.

[Chancellor Valium]

I've noticed.....

[KillerGodMan]

Lent sacrifice: The 5MV forums
Person who gave it up: Me (KillerGM)
Review: What The Crap was I thinking?

[Chancellor Valium]

Radio Series: The HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy, Secondary Phase
By: Douglas Adams- who else?
Review: Here we are again, happy as can be, all good friends.........

[KillerGodMan]

Movie: Short Circuit
Producer: Um... er...
Staring: Um... er...
Review: It's so good, I'm going to quote it over and over again!

Salmon: Fish: SUSHI!

[Chancellor Valium]

Name: Doctor Strangelove
Producer: Stanley Kubrick
Review: Learn to stop worrying and love the bomb. And sleep with eyes wide shut.

[e of pi]

Necromancy! Buga buga buga!

[Chancellor Valium]

Necromancy! Buga buga buga!

Quiet, you.

[e of pi]

WhY?

[Vedra]

Battlefield Earth: OH GOD, THERE'S GLASS IN MY EYES,BUT AT LEAST IT'S BETTER THAN WATCHING BATTLEFIELD EARTH!

[KillerGodMan]

Movie: The Shawshank Redemption
Creator: Stephen King
Director: NOT Stephen King
Staring: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman
Review: Best movie ever! BEST MOVIE damn you!

[Chancellor Valium]

Game: Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
Produced by: Obsidian Entertainment, Inc.
Published by: LucasArts..who else?
Review: This review has had to be cut due to time constraints.

[KillerGodMan]

Ahem...

NECROPOST!

Anyways

Game: Kingdom Hearts
Developers and other companys: Square Enix, Disney Games, Sony
Platform: Ps2
Review: Awesome! Awesome! AWESOME!
Final Fantasy...
meets Disney!

I mean come ON! You get to battle alongside Cloud against Sephiroth!

-

Game: Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
Developers, etc.: Square Enix, Disney Games, Nintendo
Platform: Gameboy Advance
Review: Not as much fun as the original game

-

Game: Kingdom Hearts II
Developers, etc.: Square Enix, Buena Vista Games (originally Disney games), Sony
Platform: Ps2
Review: The game every Nobody has been waiting for! *quickly goes into hiding from the pun-police*

Seriously though, this game is, in many ways, better than the first. Why? Because... OMG!YOUCANUSETWOKEYBLADES!

That, and because Organazation XIII's base is wicked cool!

[Sa'ar Chasm]

It baffles me that this game isn't terrible. The entire concept - Disney characters meet Final Fantasy - sounds like something that should have died a merciful death in the brainstorming session, and yet it appears to be reasonably popular and distinctly unsucktacular.

Also, what's a wokeyblade?

[KillerGodMan]

no, no, it says OMG! You can use Two Keyblades

[Naki]

Movie: Final Fantasy : Advent Children
Director: [Japanese name]
Staring: [japanese names]
Review: Heh, big swords, lots of materia, much fighting and Tifa in a wet t-shirt. What more could a guy want?

[KillerGodMan]

Review: Heh, big swords, lots of materia, much fighting and Tifa in a wet t-shirt. What more could a guy want?

I'd make a comment, but that's probably get me banned

Of well, off to re-play FF7, FF8 and FFX!

[Burt]

Movie: Clue
Staring: Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Christopher Lloyd
Review: Comedy based on the board game. Simply the best movie ever. And coming from a Sci-fi mad-man, thats saying something. And I watch it almost once aday. Thats saying something too. But I think that says more about me than the movie.......
Anyway everyone should see this.

[mark726]

YES!!! I LOVE CLUE.

"Yes, I did it...I killed Yvette. I hated her SO MUCH. It...it...flames. FLAMES! On the sides of my face. Breathing breathless HEAVING breathes...."

Apparently that was completely inproved by Khan on the spot.

[Burt]

Good LORD!!!
I LOVE that bit too!!
I was gonna put it in the review, but didn't think anyone would get it!! I heard about the inprov too. Amazing talent!
Other favs....
Mustard: Is this place for you?
Wadsworth: Oh, indeed no, sir. I am meerly a humble butler.
Mustard: What exactly do you do?
Wadsworth: I... butle, sir.

And the total, all time great:
"Da da da da da DA! I, Am, Your singing telegram....*BANG*(as she's shot)"

[Ginga]

Movie = Drop Dead Gorgeous
Starring = Kirstie Alley, Kirsten Dunst, Allison Janney(!), and other people whose names I should know but don't.
Review = LOL. A mockumentary with deadly swans from Mexico, beer, beer, and more beer, all revolving around a beauty pageant in the middle of nowhere Minnesota. Impossible to count the number of things it makes fun of.

[Lostoyannaya]

Movie: Batman Beings

Starring: Christian Bale, Katie Holmes, Liam Neeson, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman and Morgan Freeman

Review: Love it.

~~Lostoyannaya

[PointyHairedJedi]

You liked it? I suppose though you aren't exactly alone in that, but still.

[mark726]

Movie: The Day After Tomorrow (if someone did this already, sorry!)
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhall (sp?), Emmy Rossum...etc
Producer: Roland Emmerich
Review: Science so bad its laughable. I particularly like the wolves that just kind of appear out of nowhere (yes, I know they're from the zoo, but come on!), and the foreshadowing that was so thick I almost gagged.

[Chancellor Valium]

Film: X-Men III: The Last Stand
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, various other big names.
Review: The same old hackneyed story/plot/dialogue. Practically could have written it in my sleep.

[Burt]

Tv Show: The Avengers
Starring: Diana Rigg, Patrick Macnee
Review: The first main star was John Steed (Patrick). Steed is the well-dressed, bowler hat wearing umbrella carrying agent working for Britian to foil evil plots. He had a few different partners over the years, but the best known is Mrs Emma Peel (Diana) with her superior fighting skills, intelligence, and fashion sense! The avengers is known for it's cool fighting, great twisting plots and English humor!

[Chancellor Valium]

Indeed.

TV Show: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Starring: Oh, come on. You can fill this bit in yourselves.
Review: This review is caught in a temporal anomaly.This review is caught in a temporal anomaly.This review is caught in a temporal anomaly.This review is caught in a temporal anomaly.This review is caught in a temporal anomaly.This review is caught in a temporal anomaly.This review is caught in a temporal anomaly. Q:And time is running out, Jean-Luc...

[Chancellor Valium]

The last post.
By me.
Review: What utter rubbish.