War Stars

[KillerGodMan]

For my final Drama project, I had to create and act out a play.

So, being as lazy as I am, I made a parody

A parody of Star Wars.

And I called it War Stars

Odd eh?

It featured...

Binks jar-jar (played by me)
Solo Han
annnnnnnnnd...
Wanobi

instead of a Light Saber, I used a 'Light Stick' (which wasn't very light) to face Wanobi (who was the evil guy)

so..... down to the point

What would you do to me if I posted the script here?

[MaverickZer0]

Well, I'm not exactly a Star Wars fan. So I'd thank you and then go yell at the TV some more. Then I'd play some video games.

Then I'd enjoy my 99% guaranteed snow day tomorrow.

[Chancellor Valium]

Probably add in more jokes and stuff :mrgreen:

[Zeke]

What would you do to me if I posted the script here?

Why not just post it and not fish for reinforcement first? People will like it or they won't, but no one's going to tell you you shouldn't have posted it at all.

[KillerGodMan]

What would you do to me if I posted the script here?

Why not just post it and not fish for reinforcement first? People will like it or they won't, but no one's going to tell you you shouldn't have posted it at all.

Got-it, now, I need to dig it out of my locker

[PointyHairedJedi]

Now, just hang on a minute there! I haven't even had a chance to assemble a pitchfork wielding mob yet!

[richardson]

Let's wait until we find out if it's good. If people had started pitchfork wielding mobs at the first sight of trek, we'd still be watching cheezy 50's type sitcoms. *Shivers violently.*

[NeoMatrix]

PHJ, im sorry to say this, but we do not have enough in the budget for a mob with pitchforks. You will have to go with the pie eating geeks with sporks

[MaverickZer0]

And even then, getting us to stop eating pie is always the problem. You can't eat pie and march furiously at the same time.

[PointyHairedJedi]

PHJ, im sorry to say this, but we do not have enough in the budget for a mob with pitchforks. You will have to go with the pie eating geeks with sporks

Sporks? What kind of crazed mob, bent on wanton destruction, wields sporks? It just won't do at all! I'm not complaining about the geeks, mind, especially pie-eating ones - you just tell them that not only does your target think Babylon 5 is the worst made sci-fi show ever to appear on TV, but that they've been secretly stockpiling pies so that there is less for everone else. But sporks! It just won't do!

[Chancellor Valium]

Maverick: True! Anyhow, we'd better wait a bit before marching....no point hurrying a good pie, now is there.....

[MaverickZer0]

PHJ, im sorry to say this, but we do not have enough in the budget for a mob with pitchforks. You will have to go with the pie eating geeks with sporks

Sporks? What kind of crazed mob, bent on wanton destruction, wields sporks? It just won't do at all! I'm not complaining about the geeks, mind, especially pie-eating ones - you just tell them that not only does your target think Babylon 5 is the worst made sci-fi show ever to appear on TV, but that they've been secretly stockpiling pies so that there is less for everone else. But sporks! It just won't do!

But...Babylon 5 is the worst sci-fi show ever to be seen!

Oh, wait, no...

There's TNG.

*ducks*

[Ginga]

Oh, wait, no...

There's TNG.

*ducks*


Ooooooooooooooh. :o

You know, this reminds me that I think I had a dream about B5 last night. o_O

[KillerGodMan]

Okay, I've got the script

It's long, so I'll post it in multiple posts

here's Scene 1...

War Stars

Episode MCLXVI
A new hope will take on Wanobi, the evil Lord of Doom

Cast of Characters

Binks Jar-Jar…Kyle B. (That's me)
Solo Han…Spencer M.
Wanobi…Blair A.

??? - Not so long ago…
In a galaxy over that way…
No, not that way, over there, yes, there…
(Start Backwards Star Wars theme)


Scene #1 – Outside the Subway

BINKS and SOLO enter stage left. They are in front of The Subway (represented by a table) in the background is Binks’ home, (a sheet covering the rubble to show the home destroyed)

BINKS JAR-JAR – Wessa go to the Subszway now?
SOLO HAN – Okay, but no goober tongue special this time.
BINKS – how come, Moy, Moy?
SOLO – Because we were thrown out last time because you were slurping your tongue
BINKS – Oopsies!
SOLO – Alright, let’s go… AND BEHAVE!
BINKS – okeday!

BINKS and SOLO walk to the Subway store

SANDWICH ARTIST – Waddya want?
SOLO – I’ll have one slime ball sub please, with meatballs
BINKS – Messa have the Goober Tongue special…
SOLO – (Interrupting Binks) AHEM!
BINKS – Oh, fine, Messa have a meatball sub, with everything on it. Moy, Moy
SOLO – That’s better

BINKS and SOLO eat in silence, in the background, the chosen tracks from 101 sound effects – The Machines of War play in the background, BINKS and SOLO than get up to leave.

SOLO – Do you have the stamps?
BINKS – Yep
SOLO – Good, now we have enough to get a lifetime supply of stamps for the actual subway, let’s go home now

BINKS and SOLO exit stage left.
In the background;
BINKS: NOOO! Mine house!

End of Scene #1

Oh, by the way, I'm going to list the full credits at the end

[KillerGodMan]

Scene#2- Near Binks’ home

BINKS and SOLO enter stage right to find Binks’ home destroyed. A collection of black rubble is all that remains; a large hole is in the middle of the destruction, the only way left into the home.

BINKS – No! Howsa dis being possible?
SOLO – The Government Trooper Storms must have destroyed it!
BINKS – Howsa you be telling?
SOLO – I cannot confirm it until we look around inside, go take a look
BINKS – Okeday!

BINKS enters the remains of his home and looks around, while SOLO waits outside, suddenly SOLO hears BINKS shout really loud.

BINKS – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SOLO – What is it?
BINKS – Mine subzway stamps is gone! How is mesa gonna get to work now?
SOLO – That should be the least of your problems
BINKS – Yousa being right.
SOLO – But, the missing stamps can only PROVE that this is the work of the Charbroiled side of the Course!
BINKS – Howsa?
SOLO – Because…. I CAN TELL!
BINKS -. …Okeday! Let’s go find who did this!


End Scene #2

[KillerGodMan]

Scene #3- about three feet away from Binks’ home

BINKS and SOLO turn and are about to exit stage left, but WANOBI enters stage left, and walks towards Binks and Solo, BINKS and SOLO back away from WANOBI, who is still walking towards them.

WANOBI – So, Binks Jar-Jar, at last we finally meet!
BINKS – You! Yousa been taking mine subzway stamps!
WANOBI – No Binks, I AM YOUR SUBWAY STAMPS!
BINKS -. …What yousa been talking about? Subzway bein lifeless, they no speck.
WANOBI – I know, but I wanted to do a STAR WARS reference.
SOLO – Well, do the world a favor, and never, ever do that again
WANOBI – Meanie! You’ll pay!

WANOBI sucker punches SOLO, who falls down on the ground.

BINKS – NOOOOOOOO! Not the Subzway stamps!
WANOBI – FOOL! You will pay for you lack of English skills!
BINKS – Yousa been picking the wrong fight! Yousa gonna be paying for mine stamps!
WANOBI – They always want to do it the hard way… Fine! BRING IT ON!
BINKS – Messa called Binks Jar-Jar! Messa gonna make you PAY!

BINKS takes out his Light-Stick, and WANOBI takes out his light-saber. BINKS and WANOBI begin to fight, moving all about. Dare to be Stupid plays in the background.

WANOBI – You are a good fighter, but you will still fall!
BINKS – Messa never give up! Yousa killed mine stamps!
WANOBI – Well, I already said the joke with the stamps, but now, I’ll give you the cold-hearted truth.
BINKS – what?
WANOBI – Binks, I AM YOUR MOTHER’S FATHER’S BROTHER’S UNCLE’S FORMER ROOMMATE FROM UNIVERSITY!
BINKS – NOOOOOOOOOOO!
WANOBI – And that’s not all! I ALSO AM THE REASON THE NHL IS LOCKED OUT!
BINKS – ARRRRRRRGH! YOUSSA GONNA PAY FOR DIS!

BINKS starts to whack Wanobi with his light stick like it’s going out of style, WANOBI eventually falls to the ground in pain, and rolls around yelling various things. SOLO comes to, and gets up off the ground.

End Scene #3

[KillerGodMan]

Scene #4 – Outside of Wanobi’s home

While WANOBI is rolling around on the ground, a door appears from stage left.

BINKS – Ooh! Lookie, Lookie! It’s a home!
SOLO – I see that, Young Binks, let’s make it our new home
BINKS – Youssa a veeeeeery annoying roommate… Messa going to lock you out…

BINKS and SOLO exit stage left, through the door; WANOBI rolls around and exits stage right. The Door gets moved to stage right, and all other set pieces are removed from the stage.

BINKS – Weesa finallys save the Subzway stamps!
SOLO – Yes, we have my friend; people can go to work now.
BINKS – Maybe weesa could be Stamp Protectors!
SOLO – Binks, that was stupid, don’t ever say that again
BINKS – Okeday

WANOBI enters stage right and knocks on the door, BINKS goes to, and opens the door

BINKS – Hello?
WANOBI – Greetings
BINKS – Lookie, Lookie, Solo, it’s a Wanobi, youssa get the light stick, okeday?
WANOBI – No! Wait! Binks, I have something to tell you, and it’s true this time!
BINKS – Messa listening…
WANOBI – Binks, I am… Your SON!
BINKS – What? But how? Messa no have a son…
WANOBI – Oh, well I’ll be leaving then…
BINKS – No, wait! Messa DO have a son!
WANOBI – See? Told you it was true.
BINKS – Youssa must clean your room!
WANOBI – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SOLO – Look, Wanobi, you’re going to have to listen to your father, now get to work!
WANOBI – Fine!

WANOBI exits stage Left, grumbling. SOLO and BINKS walk around doing whatever, in the background, WANOBI screams and shouts various things, such as “What is THAT!?” or “EWWW!” WANOBI then enters Stage left after about 1 minute.

WANOBI – I’m done, can I go play outside now?
BINKS – Not until you bring back the NHL
WANOBI – But, but, I don’t like hockey!
BINKS - *gasps* you will wash you mouth out with every bar of soap in this house!
WANOBI – NOOOOOOOOOOO!
BINKS - YES! YOU'RE IN DEEP TROUBLE NOW! I'M SPEAKING ENGLISH IT'S THAT BAD!

Close Curtain

??? – And so, the NHL had returned, and everybody used the subways all day long. Binks became ruler of Gunga Otta, and married and had two beautiful kids, except for Wanobi, but he doesn’t count. Solo became a sports commentator, but was fired after confusing Football with Golf. As for Wanobi, well, he ended up working at subway for ten years. It was that or face Twenty years in prison, or worse, become a translator for Jar-Jar Binks. But anyways, everyone was happy, except Wanobi, but do we really care for him? Didn’t think so.

THE END[/b]

[KillerGodMan]

Credits

Cast:
Binks Jar-Jar - Kyle B.
Wanobi - Blair A.
Solo Han - Spencer M.
Subway Guy - Will M. (No relation to Spencer M.)

Written By - Kyle B.
Sound By - Kyle B.
Stage By - Blair A.
Props By - Spencer M.
Practicly Nothing by - Spencer M.
Directed by - Blair A.

Disclaimer - This is a parody of Star Wars, in case you didn't figure it out, Sar Wars is owned by a guy named George, I know who he is, You know who he is, and neither of us are making money off of his work, got it?
Unless You count the drama teacher, but you don't

Thank you for reading, or, if you were luckey enough, watching.

I'm done now.

[Gatac]

Er...yes...

It's a parody, alright.

Gatac

[KillerGodMan]

What were you expecting Gatac? Star Wars episode III?

[Chancellor Valium]

Actually, Yes :mrgreen: :P :D

[Gatac]

Heck no, Episode III is The Saddest Wookie.

Gatac