February 22

[Zeke]

Yeah, I know -- worst unfreezing ever. I didn't want to publish anything else before the ENT update, and it kept taking longer than I thought. But forget all that for now, because it's 5MST's third birthday!


It's been another big year for our TOS subsite, which has now been part of 5MV for well over half the site's lifetime. IJD GAF continues to run a tight ship, with a policy of making sure there's at least one 5MST update each month if at all possible. And as of today, his subsite has officially outlived the classic series itself!


To celebrate, IJD has organized a themed anniversary event -- specifically, a Kirkathon. It consists of four days with two fivers each, all focused on Trek's first and still most famous captain, James T. Kirk. We're starting off with a pair from Season 1: "Court Martial (../startrek/fiver.php?ep=courtmartial)," by IJD himself, and "The Return of the Archons (../startrek/fiver.php?ep=thereturnofthearchons)," by Kira. Enjoy, and be back tomorrow for Season 2!


(Incidentally, it's also Jeri Ryan's birthday. CONSPIRACY!)

[mudshark]

Huzzah! New fiivers! :D
Shaw: But facts are facts. Here, watch this recording of the events in real time.
Kirk: Damn.
Video Recording: I am incriminating.
Stone: (gasp) He's pressing the "jettison pod" button before Red Alert! With his middle finger! The symbolism!
Cogley: Burn him! Burn him! Burn--
Kirk: You are so fired."I am incriminating." Hee.
Scotty: Captain! Our orbit is collapsing! We're goin' down!
Kirk: (over the comm) Dammit, Scotty. What was the last thing I told you before I left?
Scotty: Not to ruin the butt groove you had going in your chair?
Kirk: No, the other thing.
Scotty: (sigh) Not to crash the Enterprise into the planet.
------------------------
Kirk: (over the comm) Scotty, report.
Scotty: Everything's all right up here, Captain. We're not falling out of orbit, and Sulu is back to normal.
Sulu: Where'd all the colours go? What a downer, man.
Kirk: Good, good. You're not sitting in my chair, are you?
Scotty: Er....
Kirk: Sigh. Eight months of work, all for nothing. :D

Good work, both of you.

[Opium]

*blink blink*

An...update?

Sweeeeeeeeet!

:D

[Chancellor Valium]

Woo! Update! :D :D

[Derek]

Shaw: Objection, the witness is speculating!
Spock: I hypothesize that Vulcans do not speculate.
A Vulcan said it! It must be true!
Spock: That man who just passed us... his expression was extremely odd: blank and vacant.
Kirk: Remind you of anyone?
Spock: Indeed.
Kirk: Then this could be a lead to discover what happened to Lieutenant Sulu.
Spock: Yes... Sulu.
Heh.

Excellent fivers, IJD and Kira.

[evay]

Kirk: Sorry, Spock, can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
I laughed so loud at this my boss poked his head over the wall to see what was going on. :D

Now then, Dr. McCoy will use this doohickometer
Hee hee hee I love technical talk.

Nicely done, both of you!

[Marc]

Stone: Computer, start recording. We are here to determine whether or not to proceed with a court martial of Captain James T. Kirk--
Kirk: I swear, I did not have sexual relations with that woman!

Spock: I hypothesize that Vulcans do not speculate.

McCoy: I'm a cognitive theorist, not a neo-Freudian psychoanalyst!

Kirk: Do it. Now then, Dr. McCoy will use this doohickometer to make the computer disregard each of our heartbeats.
Stone: How does that work?
McCoy: It stops your heart from beating.

Kirk: Hey Spock, did this planet have a North and South pole?
Spock: Of course, Captain.
Kirk: Because it really is bipolar! HahahahahaOW!

Lawgivers: You have disobeyed Landru. You will be absorbed into the Body.
Kirk: Oo. Sounds kinky.
Lawgivers: It is not.
Kirk: Dang. Well, in that case, we refuse.

Kirk: That's right, so I'm relieving you of your command and putting someone else in charge who can actually follow orders. Lieutenant Uhura?
Uhura: Yes, Captain?
Kirk: Find the highest ranking man still on the ship and have him take over.

Kirk: I don't understand -- it's like talking to a wall.
Spock: It is a projection, Captain. You are talking to a wall.
Kirk: Oh. In that case....
(BLAM!)
Kirk: That'll teach the wall to ignore me.


LOL!

Kirk sometimes seems to parody himself in the original episodes, which makes it even funnier when he appears in a fiver. :)

[mudshark]

Now that the blurbs are up:
Kirk teaches a society not to live off the FAT32 of the Landru *znerk*

[Scooter]

Shaw: Now, could you postulate whether Finney's probable hatred of Captain Kirk could have led to an unconscious reversal of said hatred?
McCoy: I'm a cognitive theorist, not a neo-Freudian psychoanalyst!
Best McCoy quote ever! (still laughing)

Kirk: Mr. Sulu, report and hey! What have you done with my redshirt? Starfleet bills me for those, you know.
Sulu: Mellow out, man, you're bringin' me down.
Kirk: Sulu, you're not making any sense. What happened down there?
Sulu: Whoa... my hands are HUGE!

Righteous Sulu-zonk hee hee hee :D

[stripysox]

Yay! I'd almost given up hope!

Both excellent fivers! :)

[PointyHairedJedi]

"Convictated". I'm laughing so hard it hurts. IJD, you're a bastard, and Kira.... uh, you're wonderful. Yes, that's what I was going to say.

[Xeroc]

Awesome material, both! :D :D

[Wade, The Sane Commodore]

Oh my God, a Fiver!

...

Oh my God, Marc is still alive!

[MaverickZer0]

*wakes up*

*snigger, snigger*

I'd put in good quotes, but I'm too lazy to open up the page and copy/paste it. Nice job, guys.

[The Squid]

Huzzah! Lovin' the new fivers, although I don't think I've ever actually seen "Court Martial" It did not seem familiar.

[Chancellor Valium]

New fivers! Mmmmm......tasty........

[NAHTMMM]

Stone: Computer, start recording. We are here to determine whether or not to proceed with a court martial of Captain James T. Kirk--
Kirk: I swear, I did not have sexual relations with that woman!
Stone: --concerning perjury and possible negligence resulting in the death of Lieutenant Commander Ben Finney.
Kirk: Oh, that.
Stone: Explain what happened.
Kirk: Well, I noticed that she had a little too much to drink. So I hailed a taxi and--
Heheheh.

Cogley: I brought a lot of books in here to research your case. I hope you don't mind.
Kirk: How'd you get into my apartment?
Cogley: You see, books are a beautiful thing....
Kirk: I'm calling security.
:D

Spock: I hypothesize that Vulcans do not speculate.
Bwahahaha! :D And BOOM goes the computer :twisted:



Kirk: Mr. Sulu, report and hey! What have you done with my redshirt? Starfleet bills me for those, you know.
:lol:

Kirk: That's right, so I'm relieving you of your command and putting someone else in charge who can actually follow orders. Lieutenant Uhura?
Uhura: Yes, Captain?
Kirk: Find the highest ranking man still on the ship and have him take over.
Bahahahaa! :D ;)

Kirk: That'll teach the wall to ignore me.
ROFL! :D



Great stuff, both of you!