February 28

[Zeke]

Zeke here, welcoming you to the slightly-delayed final day of the Kirkathon! As promised, we have two new fivers to round out the event. First up is IJD's fourth (!) contribution, for one of the episodes he most despises: "And The Children Shall Lead (../startrek/fiver.php?ep=andthechildrenshalllead)." The other half of the update is my own contribution; it was originally slated to be "Turnabout Intruder," the bar against which all bad Shatner acting is measured, but I wasn't able to get my hands on it in time. Instead, I've finally done "Balance of Terror (../startrek/fiver.php?ep=balanceofterror)." An all-time favourite of both IJD's and mine, this one has been reserved for me from the start, and IJD's always been eager to see me do it. (He accidentally found out I was working on it for this event, so he'll have to just act surprised.)


And that's a wrap! Thanks to all the staff for participating, and extra thanks to Kira for her invaluable help with the coding and updates. IJD, congratulations on a third successful year of 5MST. Now more. MORE!

[Chancellor Valium]

lol,some fantabulous work there! too much to mention, in fact.......

[Derek]

What secular humanism has joined together, let anyone who wishes put asunder.
Ouch.

Kirk: (wince) Oh, that's gotta hurt. Make a note for the ship's log: sucks to be those outposts.
I wonder if Starfleet maintains a running count of how often logs like that get entered.

Excellent fiver, Zeke. I loved the references to your BoBW fiver, "Breaking the Ice" fiver, Babylon 5, "Encounter at Farpoint", David and Bathsheeba, etc.


Stevie: "When I first saw the elk, I thought it was a commandeer."
Heheh. I like those types of jokes.

Great fiver as well, IJD. Congrats on 5MST's anniversary!

[mudshark]

"And the Children Shall Lead"
Kirk: Hello, is anyone in here?
Darth Vader: No.
--------------------------
Gorgan: Hello children. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, isn't it? Today, we will learn about commandeering. Can you say "commandeer"?
-------------------------
Kirk: What is going on here?
Spock: I doubt even the writers know.
Sulu: Hooray, the daggers are gone!
Uhura: And I'm young again!
Spock: I would question what just happened, but I fear the explosive decompression of my brain.
Kirk: Yes, well at least the kids are crying now.
McCoy: Indeed, it's a healthy psychological sign.
Kirk: That, and they had it coming, those little sh-- Heheheh. :D

Liked the various summons of the angel and, of course, "Bonk, bonk!"


"Balance of Terror"
Spock: I closed the comm link for Commander Hansen's own good. Surak taught that the lakht cha'matoy -- the Sarcasm Before Death -- can be harmful to the katra. Why am I thinking of Doon here? :D
Romulan Centurion: What the --? Did I just hear someone use the comm?
Decius: Yo. Reporting our success to the Praetor.
Centurion: We're trying to be invisible here! What if someone detected it?
Decius: It's cool, I used the code. You know, "ZHQL, ZLGL, ZLFL."
Centurion: You idiot! You're demoted!
Decius: Yes, Commander. (mutters) Gvrngsdfk.
Centurion: I heard that. *znerk*
Stiles: Get out, you green-blooded green-blood! We don't need your treachery and ear tapering! (Spock leaves) How was that, master?
McCoy: (over the comm) Don't quit your day job. Heh.
Commander: Yeah. Farewell, Captain. In another lifetime... I could have called you my son's best friend....
(BOOOOOOM)
Kirk: Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark, Leonard.
McCoy: (over the comm) What do I have to do with this? Ouch.

Excellent conclusion to the "week". Good stuff, guys.

[Chancellor Valium]

Hmmmm......code eh......This would be a reference to the codes used by Julius Caesar would it? You forgot to put it into the Greek Alphabet :wink: :P :)

[NAHTMMM]

Captain's Log: A group of kids should be upset that their parents all went crazy and killed themselves. You'd think so, right? Well, I wouldn't. Just further proof that children are EVIL.
Heheheh. :D

Kirk: Did I ever tell you about the time his father was killed by flying brain cells?
Tommy: We just met. No.
Kirk: Yep. My good ol' brother. Wait a minute, I had a brother?
Tommy: I'm leaving now.
ROFL!

Gorgan: Very good! Now, can you use it in a sentence?
Stevie: "When I first saw the elk, I thought it was a commandeer."
*snicker*

Children: Hail, hail -- Angel guy! Help us make the viewers cry!
Kirk: What the--
Gorgan: You summoned me right in front of the Captain? Jeez, you kids are stup-- er, stupendous! Today's summoning is brought to you by the letter "D". Can you think of words that start with "D"?
Stevie: Doggie?
Gorgan: Good. Anything else?
Ray: Daggers!
Sulu: Oh my God, there's daggers on the screen! We'll all die!
:lol: :lol:

Absolutely fantastic job, IJD!



Spock: Indeed, logic demands that the Romulans are responsible.
Kirk: (sigh) I have to give a speech when there's Romulans. Can't we just call them Remans or something?
Spock: NO.

Kirk: All hands, this is the captain. You have all heard of the Romulan War, which took place in... Spock, what year are we using now?
Spock: 2158 is still safe.
Kirk: Gotcha. Anyway, that war was so low-tech that no human ever saw a Romulan's face, but we're confident that they're jerks. The treaty that ended the war established a Neutral Zone, and since then, neither side has crossed it... until now.
Uhura: DUN DUN DUN!
*more snickers* :mrgreen:

Spock: I closed the comm link for Commander Hansen's own good. Surak taught that the lakht cha'matoy -- the Sarcasm Before Death -- can be harmful to the katra.
Heheheh. I'm not even gonna bother to check whether that is in fact the same thing Worf referred to :mrgreen:

Stiles: Then I suggest we attack the Romulan ship. By firing Spock at them.
:mrgreen:

Commander: There's room for two ships in here? This must be, like, the biggest comet ever.
*double-take*

Commander: (over the comm) Thank you, but we can't accept... our code of honour prefers death to capture. Or pretty much anything else. Technically, we're supposed to self-destruct even if we win.
*cracks up*

[Wade, The Sane Commodore]

Wow, I think I need to go sit down after reading those fivers. Wait... I am sitting down. Go team me!

Commander: There's room for two ships in here? This must be, like, the biggest comet ever.

Wow, totally missed that reference the first time.

Stevie: "When I first saw the elk, I thought it was a commandeer."

This made no sense, even after reading it five times. Had to actually say it out loud.

Personal Log: Don't read fivers without adequate amounts of caffeine in me.

[Kira]

Stevie: "When I first saw the elk, I thought it was a commandeer."

This made no sense, even after reading it five times. Had to actually say it out loud.
Oh, fer Pete's sake. I read that fiver last week and I just got the joke NOW.

After reading the comment about saying out loud.

And then doing so twice.

Sigh. I need sleep.

[Xeroc]

Hilarious stuff!


I especially liked, well, all of them! :D

[Scooter]

Excellent fivers, especially the outstanding BOT--and an extra cherry pie to Zeke for...
McCoy: Just Tomlinson. It's the strangest thing... just before he died, he said he'd been given anonymous orders to man the most dangerous station during the attack.
Kirk: Go figure. Anyway, I'm off to comfort Bathsh-- er, Angela.
...Biblical references! Hallelujah!

[Zeke]

Kirk: (wince) Oh, that's gotta hurt. Make a note for the ship's log: sucks to be those outposts.
I wonder if Starfleet maintains a running count of how often logs like that get entered.

So far it's at least five, but that's counting an unpublished fiver. (Let the speculation begin!)

Oh, fer Pete's sake. I read that fiver last week and I just got the joke NOW.

After reading the comment about saying out loud.

And then doing so twice.

I got it right away, but I had heard a variation before. Teacher tells a student to use "miniature" in a sentence. Student answers, "The miniature asleep, you begin to snore."

[Derek]

I got it right away, but I had heard a variation before. Teacher tells a student to use "miniature" in a sentence. Student answers, "The miniature asleep, you begin to snore."
I've heard a lot of those jokes. They were a staple of the Boy's Life magazine I subscribed to when I was in Cub Scouts. One of the ones I still remember is:
Teacher: Please use "defense", "detail", and "defeat" in a setence.
Boy: Yes, ma'am. "Defeat of the horse went over defense before detail."

[ijdgaf]

Heh, I got Boy's Life too. It was the inspiration for the joke.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Okay, finally got around to reading thses. IJD, that was harsh. But damn funny. And Zeke... well, you're a genius, so it's not like I have to say how good that fiver was or anything.

[Wowbagger]

Did you know that FMV is now the top Google match for "ZHQL ZLGL, ZLFL"?

[Nan]

Dude, it's 5MV. Not FMV. You know that, don't you? ;P

[Chancellor Valium]

Dude, it's 5MV. Not FMV. You know that, don't you? ;P

Ack! Deja vu! And reja vu! At the same time!

[PointyHairedJedi]

Yes, it does haven-on willan are-to be seeming a little... familiar. ;)

[Chancellor Valium]

Mmm....Don't you hate four-dimensional syntax?

[PointyHairedJedi]

Nope, not in the slightest. :D

[Chancellor Valium]

Well at least you don't have to translate from Old High Gallifreyan into Latin and then into english :P