May 23

[Zeke]

Boy, do we have a treat for you guys today! Who here remembers back in Fall 2002 when Marc had his fiver of Star Trek: Nemesis done the very day the movie came out? Hold onto your hats, folks -- he's done it again. Say hello to Five-Minute Revenge of the Sith (../scifivers/revengeofthesith.html)!

[Kristina]

Woo hoo! Way to go, Marc!

I remember almost falling off my chair when Marc got Nemesis done at record pace. Having read only half the fiver, because I wish to see the movie, Mark-us willing, I like what I see. Speed does not equal poor quality - at least in this case.

[evay]

Do you know, when I was sitting in the theatre waiting for the endless ads to finish, I was actually wondering if someone was catching an early show and taking notes for a fast-turnaround fiver....

Palpatine: It seems you gave her a bad case of Desdemona's Syndrome.
:lol: That's an excellent name for it!

[Anonymous]

This fiver was originally published on May 23, 2004.

Umm...?

- Trip

[Marc]

>> Quote:
Palpatine: It seems you gave her a bad case of Desdemona's Syndrome.

That's an excellent name for it! <<

The following lines make me wonder if George Lucas had Othello's "what have I done?" scene of the play (Act V, Scene ii) in mind when he wrote the Mustafar section of the screenplay:

"Blow me about in winds! Roast me in sulphur!
Wash me in steep-down gulfs of liquid fire!
O Desdemona! Desdemona! dead!"

-- Othello after strangling his wife (who manages to recover long enough to deliver a few editorial remarks before definitively dying).

[Celeste]

They all manage to live long enough to spout a few more lines. ;) It's shakespear!

[Draknek]

That was an awesome fiver. Too many good lines to quote.

(Oh, and by the way, the news page still says five second voyager.)

[Wowbagger]

Unionize... ROFL.

[Zeke]

This fiver was originally published on May 23, 2004.

Umm...?

Whoops. Changed the day, missed the year. Thanks. You too, Drak.

[SCMoll]

Desdemona's Syndrome.

I was laughing for a good two or three minutes at that.

[Opium]

Very funny is it! :D :D :D

[Anonymous]

I was hoping for a West Wing reference for Organa, but I guess you can't have everything. Terrific job!

[Zeke]

May 24


They can't all be big updates. Today I just spruced up Marc's fiver page a bit and started advertising it around. Did everybody have a nice Victoria Day?

[Scooter]

Awesome fiver!

Palpatine: There he is. Get a medical capsule, quickly.
Anakin: Master Sidious? Is that you? Am I still alive?
Palpatine: Yes, but I find your lack of face disturbing.

bwahahahahah!

[Chancellor Valium]

Lol, this is hilarious! loved the lack of face thing - :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Xeroc]

Incredible! 1. :D 2. goto 1


I also like the new title image!


Favorite Quotes (Even if the whole thing is too funny to quote, I'm just going to quote anyways. :P )

Obi-Wan: Anakin, don't try to fight him by yourself the way you did on Geonosis. This time let me give you a hand.
Anakin: Master, aren't sarcastic puns a violation of the Jedi Code or something?

C3PO: Well, I wouldn't boast about it too loudly if I were you. If some enemy agents heard you, they might very well kidnap you and use you as the mass-production template for an improved droid army.

Anakin: Oh, Padmé! I've missed you so much while I've been away fighting in the Outer Rim Sieges.
Padmé: Me too, darling. And I have very special news -- I'm pregnant!
Anakin: That's, uh, wonderful. Who's the father?
Padmé: Search your feelings, stupid. You haven't been gone for that long.


Padmé: Honey, what's wrong?
Anakin: I just had a nightmare in which you died in childbirth.
Padmé: And the baby?
Anakin: I had to feed and change and raise it all by myself. It was awful.

Anakin: So what? The Republic will continue to have executive, legislative and judicial branches of government, the way it always has.
Obi-Wan: But centralized into one office from now on.
Anakin: Details, details.

Mace Windu: We will accept your appointment, young Skywalker, but in exchange we want you to spy on the Chancellor for us. Now take a seat.
Anakin: You're putting me in a very awkward position, Master Windu.
Windu: Because of your misplaced loyalty towards the Chancellor?
Anakin: No, because the chair you've given me was designed for a three-legged alien.

Grievous: My fellow Separatists! I am sending you to the Mustafar system so that you will be safe in case the Jedi...
Obi-Wan: You're all under arrest!
Grievous: ...discover our secret hideout.
Obi-Wan: It's all over, Grievous. Put your hands up!
(SWISSSH! SWISSSH! SWISSSH! SWISSSH!)
Obi-Wan: On second thought, put them back down and drop the four lightsabers, please.

Commander Cody: Sir, he's getting away on that...whatever it is.
Obi-Wan: You stay here and mop up these battle droids. I'll go after Grievous on this...whatever it is.
Creature: BrAAAkk! RiooouaaRRRkkk!
Obi-Wan: Yes, well, I didn't get your name either.

Windu: No. This task calls for experience rather than talent and youthful enthusiasm.
Anakin: I hate these Jedi seniority rule. I'd find this job a lot more interesting if we weren't unionized.

Palpatine: Immediately. We will begin by studying the power of death.
Anakin: What about the power of life?
Palpatine: That's the advanced course -- you have to pass the prerequisites first. Now go to the Jedi Temple with a few thousand troops and start doing your homework.

Yoda: When an old dog nine hundred years is, to him new tricks do not try to teach.

Organa: Excellent. With their help, we can start making plans to regain control of the Republic from the Chancellor and his clone armies.
Antilles: Ever the optimist, aren't you sir?

Padmé: You'd have to be a fool to accept a mission like that. If you go there, you could end up making a complete ash of yourself!

Organa: I know. Let me check my handbook of parliamentary procedure to see if there's some kind of loophole we can use to amend the motion.

Anakin: Padmé, what are you doing here? Coming to Mustafar was one hell of a bad idea!
Padmé: From what I see of the landscape, I'd say that was a devilishly clever turn of phrase. Don't you find the red glow awfully hard on the eyes?
Anakin: I don't mind it. I like to think of this place as the biggest lava lamp in the whole galaxy.

Anakin: Stay out of this, Obi-Wan! Haven't you ever heard of tough love?

Obi-Wan: You fight with the strength of many men, Anakin. It makes me sad that you've gone over to the Dark Side.
Anakin: You shall not pass, Master. The black Jedi Knight always triumphs!
Obi-Wan: Don't make me lop off your good arm, Anakin. You've already lost the other one to Count Dooku.
Anakin: 'Tis but a scratch. Have at you!

Obi-Wan: You're indeed brave, Anakin, but the fight is mine.
Anakin: I'm invincible!
Obi-Wan: You're sliding down the hill towards a river of lava.
Anakin: Fine, then...we'll call it a draw. ARRRRRGH!

Obi-Wan: That's awful. Who's going to feed and change and raise her babies now?

Yoda: Much study will it require. For one thing, long and difficult to remember is the area code you must dial.

Okay, so that was half the fiver, but it was so good! :D

[MaverickZer0]

Victoria Day was decent enough. It was the going back to school part that was awful.

And it was funny. Now when/if I see the movie, I'll think of the fiver.

[Zeke]

May 25


I've decided to give Marc's fiver another day to breathe. (Before choking off its esophagus with my dark Force powers.) Tomorrow, however, I'll resume publishing Derek's Smallville fivers... and he's got plenty of those to go around.


In other news, 5MV on LJ (http://www.livejournal.com/community/5mv/) has grown very fast, currently boasting 21 members on its fifth day of business. There have also been some new developments in the thread about ordering signed drafts of fivers (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=791). And we've had some great hitcounts this week -- a trend to encourage. Tell your friends! 5MV is rolling again and taking no prisoners.

[Chancellor Valium]

Yoda: Much study will it require. For one thing, long and difficult to remember is the area code you must dial

Lol! Is this an HHG reference, or is it just that great minds think alike?

[Marc]

Lol! Is this an HHG reference, or is it just that great minds think alike?

I assume HHG stands for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It's a coincidence, since I don't know the HHG joke in question. I saw the TV version of HHG many years ago, but I haven't seen the recent film or read the books. I'm curious about what form HHG's joke took -- do you recall what it was?

[Nan]

Possibly something about how phone numbers guide people's lives... ;)

[mudshark]

^ Bistromathics? :twisted: (Ah, but no -- wrong kind of numbers. :p )

Marc, I loved the whole thing. A lot of the rest has already been quoted, but I did get a kick out of the "Black Knight" sketch turning up. :D

[Chancellor Valium]

Possibly something about how phone numbers guide people's lives... ;)

Um, actually, I was referring to when Zaphod decides to hold a seance - it's at the beginning of Life the Universe and Everything I think, or it may be in the Restaurant at the end of the universe........

[Derek]

Just watched the movie and read the fiver. Great one, Marc. Your propensity for puns is much appreciated. "Making a complete ash of yourself" indeed. Heh.

[Scooter]

I just realized something...

Stormtrooper 1: We're looking for some missing droids just like the two you've got in your speeder here. Show us some identification.
Obi-Wan: Of course, it's right -- Look over there!
Stormtrooper 1: What? Where?
(VROOOOOOM)
Stormtrooper 2: You idiot! You just fell for the infamous Jedi Mind Trick.

Palpatine: (over the holo-comm) Attention all troops on joint operations with Jedi Knights. Execute Order 66.
Master Ki-Adi-Mundi: Order 66? Does anyone know what that means?
Clone Trooper: Of course, it's simply -- Look over there!
Ki-Adi-Mundi: What? Where?
(ZAP-ZAP-ZAP!)
Ki-Adi-Mundi: GAK!
Clone Trooper: Heh heh heh. Did you see the way the idiot fell for our leader's nefarious Sith Mind Trick?

I love a good steal--I mean, homage. :D

[Anonymous]

Having at last seen the film (those lightsabre battles gave me a headache, though going to the cinema has that effect on me usually anyway) I've also now read the fiver, which naturally was very amusing. Not as amusing though as Bill Gates being hit in the face with a custard pie, but then not many things are.

[Marc]

>> I love a good steal--I mean, homage. <<

Since you enjoy these things, here's something else you can have fun with: there's another line in the "Sith" fiver that is a direct reference to a joke in one of Kira's fivers. I'll wait a little bit to see if people can find it easily, now that they know it's there; if it gets missed, I'll give a hint or two to narrow down the search.