June 23

[Zeke]

Welcome to Day 9, a day of two Treks.
<ul>
Derek concludes his Season 5 pair with "By Inferno's Light (../ds9/fiver.php?ep=byinfernoslight)."
IJD GAF, the only staffer whose material hasn't yet appeared in CW, makes a strong start today. First he has a fiver for "Shore Leave (../startrek/fiver.php?ep=shoreleave)," one of our two unbelievably flimsy excuses to include TOS in this event; in this case it's on the grounds that this episode had a sequel (../startrek/fiver.php?ep=onceuponaplanet) in the animated series. This fiver is also notable for making a reference to another fiver which isn't on the site yet or even finished, but which many readers nonetheless know well -- can you spot it?
IJD's other contribution today is, of course, Part 5 (../features/cliffhangers5.html) of the Cliffhangers saga.[/list]


Day 10 tomorrow, but don't worry, no one will be playing the day-ten' game.

[Derek]

Spock: (sigh) I find myself on a planet with dummies far too often.
Heh. That was a perfect fiver, IJD. Almost too perfect.

And everyone suddenly realizes how easy it is to make puns on Marc's name.
Zeke: So would you say that you're a Marced man, Marc?
Marc: Please stop.
Kira: I give that response low Marcs.
Hilarious!

[evay]

Ooops, the Cliffhanger date is "This was originally published on July X, 2004."

[Chancellor Valium]

Ooops, the Cliffhanger date is "This was originally published on July X, 2004."
*switches into crusty old cornishman*
That be a black date, moy dear! We don't go mentioning the Ecks of Juloiy! Ooh, no! Tis terrible bad luck, tis!

:P

[Zeke]

Ain't no pleasin' you people.

[mudshark]

Jem'Hadar Man: I hate you, Klingon Man.
Worf: Then why is it whenever we have fight, I win?
Jem'Hadar Man: I guess I'm just a degraded man. Had to look that one up, but Heh.
Jem'Hadar: Fighting you is one of the most hellish things I've done.
Worf: Don't take this as a dis, but you fight like you're underwater.
Jem'Hadar: Styx and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Worf: Good grief, are you twelve?
Jem'Hadar: Ha! I wish! There's a joke here, but I'm not sure I'm getting the whole thing.
Worf: Good thing you beamed me out when you did. I couldn't take much more of that cartoon violence. Duck season! :D


Sulu: What a wonderful planet on which to have shore leave. Planet, I hereby name thee "Shore Leave Planet".
McCoy: You and every other fan. Seems to me more like a scene from "Alice in Wonderland."
White Rabbit: Follow the white rabbit who?
McCoy: Crap. Was that merely a poorly placed comedic cameo?
Alice: No.
McCoy: Crap crap. :D
McCoy: You know what else would be funny to be mauled by right now? A medieval knight.
Knight: Ni! Ni! Ni!
McCoy: GAK!
Kirk: Oh no, Bones! You're --
McCoy: I'm dead, Jim!
Kirk: Yeah, that. :mrgreen: :lol:
Spock: (sigh) I find myself on a planet with dummies far too often. Heh.


Marc: Whoa, how'd you know to fire ice missiles at them like that?
Kira: Just call me Kira Aran. :D
TO BE CONTINUED
Next time on Cliffhangers...

All Alien Nazis, all the time!
Alien Nazi 741: JAWOHL!
Alien Nazi 742: ACHTUNG!
IJD: This has lost some of its shock value. Heheh.

[Derek]

Jem'Hadar: Fighting you is one of the most hellish things I've done.
Worf: Don't take this as a dis, but you fight like you're underwater.
Jem'Hadar: Styx and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Worf: Good grief, are you twelve?
Jem'Hadar: Ha! I wish! There's a joke here, but I'm not sure I'm getting the whole thing.
Mudshark, you should know better than to ask me for explanations of my jokes, as I will become very long-winded in explaining them:

A very strong influence in my fivers of "In Purgatory's Shadow/By Inferno's Light" came from reading The Divine Comedy. This scene just reuses imagery of Inferno over and over. The fighting is hellish. Dis is the only city in Hell, and to get to it, you must cross the River Styx. The wrathful (a perhaps fitting term for the Jem'Hadar) are consigned to the River Styx, explaining why the Jem'Hadar fights like he's underwater. Of course, the last two lines are just jokes in their own rights without any literary references.

[Scooter]

Ain't no pleasin' you people.
I'm pleased. But it's because of, uh, something that's happening on this end.








But the Cliffhanger Week makes me very happy too.

[evay]

Ain't no pleasin' you people.
Sorry, I have like four people who rely on me to point out their errors on a regular basis, so I start to do it automatically with everyone. It's meant constructively.

[mudshark]

Mudshark, you should know better than to ask me for explanations of my jokes, as I will become very long-winded in explaining them: :mrgreen:

Thanks, Derek. I'd forgotten about/not picked up on Dis. All is clear now.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Garak: Alright, here's the plan. We reprogram Tain's transmitter to contact the runabout in orbit.
Worf: Runabout in orbit? Isn't that a bit too convenient?
Garak: Doctor Bashir says it's Divine Providence. I think it means he's working for the Dominion.

This might have explained a few things if I'd picked up on it first, rather than waiting for mudshark to ask for an explanation.

Dukat: (over the comm) Friends, Cardassians, countrymen, lend me your ears. Now that I have sold out Cardassia to the Dominion for a place of power again, I think we should all start remembering the golden rule: Now that I have the gold, I make the rules.

*g*

Martok: It's time for you to fight the Jem'Hadar.
Worf: Excellent. What are the rules of engagement?
Martok: I'd tell you, but the first two rules explicitly say I can't talk about it.

*snicker*

Jem'Hadar Man: I hate you, Klingon Man.
Worf: Then why is it whenever we have a fight, I win?
Jem'Hadar Man: I guess I'm just a degraded man.

I didn't realise the camp was in Istanbul (not Constantinople)

Martok: You're doing great, Worf. Just think of the epic song that will be sung about us! I bet it'll be 100 cantos long.
Worf: I'm just interested in the part that talks about how this ends.
Martok: You mean the part with the Holy Pilgrim?

Canterbury Tales?

Ziyal: When the Skreeans came on board, you thought they were going to take over the station.
Quark: They were!

What do you think all the skin flakes were for? They were marking their territory.

Breen: Blah... Mwuh... Ugh... Mwar... Blurgh. (Belch.)
Other Jem'Hadar and Breen: GAK!
Bashir: Poor Breen. He only had a few years left on his sentence here too.

The sentence he was serving, or the one he was saying?

Worf: Good thing you beamed me out when you did. I couldn't take much more of that cartoon violence.

Duck sea-- wait, that's been done.

Dax: The Bashir Changeling's trying to blow up the sun! He's got trilithium missiles!
Kira: Then let's destroy the shuttle for everyone here and their future generations!

Allusions, allusions everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Or something.

Zeke: I'm bored. Where are you going with this?

Marc: Up, apparently.

*g* Master of the comically obvious.

Kira: I thought you said we were going somewhere original!

Derek: It's hard to get more original than the original.

I really should have seen that coming. I need to be more alert when I read these things.

(Kira freezes Zeke with an ice missile and jumps on him to reach a nearby cliff)

Kira: Later guys!

Marc: Hmm...

That was unexpected.

Onwards!

[Zeke]

I didn't realise the camp was in Istanbul (not Constantinople)

That's nobody's business but the Turks'.

Derek may not be aware of this, but that golden rule joke was first used in Wizard of Id about 30 years ago. I know this because my Dad's got a lot of old Fawcett-Crest comic strip collections, and one of the Wizard of Id ones gets its title from the strip in question.

evay: I was more or less kidding. Actually, I had this It's Walky! strip (http://itswalky.com/d/20020405.html) in mind at the time.

[evay]

awwww forks in his ears *snif* he's a keeper.

[Zeke]

You'd think so, wouldn't you? What should matter is rarely what does.

[Xeroc]

Great stuff! :D :D

[NAHTMMM]

Sisko: Greetings, Gowron. Wanna resume our previous treaty so we can share ships, resources, and tactics to overthrow the Dominion?
Gowron: Ha! Do you think I can be bought so easily?
Sisko: I'll throw in a cookie.
Gowron: Sold!
:mrgreen:

Jem'Hadar: Where's Garak?
Bashir: He's not in the wall compartment!
Jem'Hadar: Oh, he's in the wall compartment, is he?
Bashir: Look, would I fill the compartment with gas if my friend Garak were in there?
Jem'Hadar: You might, Doctor, you might...
Bashir: Well, would I throw a lit match in there if my friend Garak was in there?
(FOOM!)
:lol: I'm pretty sure this is a reference to something, a Bugs Bunny cartoon I think...



McCoy: For the love of Pie, Jim, it was a frickin' rabbit.
Kirk: I'm afraid I'll have to treat you as a hostile witness now.


Barrows: I wish I were a princess!
McCoy: That's a funny thing to be saying right now.
Barrows: Look, look! A princess dress!
McCoy: That's a funny thing to be finding right now.
Rodriguez: (over the comm) Help! Help, Doctor! We're being mauled by a tiger!
McCoy: That's a funny thing to be mauled by right now.
:mrgreen:



Kira: I thought you said we were going somewhere original!
Derek: It's hard to get more original than the original.
True enough. ;)

Zeke: So would you say that you're a Marced man, Marc?
Marc: Please stop.
Kira: I give that response low Marcs.
:D