June 27

[Zeke]

Welcome to lucky Day 13, which also happens to be my little brother's first day of not being 13. Cool.
<ul>
Next in the Occupation Arc: "Sons and Daughters (../ds9/fiver.php?ep=sonsanddaughters)," by IJD GAF.
Sa'ar Chasm is back with his second B5 fiver of this event: "Movements of Fire and Shadow (../b5/fiver.php?ep=movementsoffireandshadow)."
The first of a number of Top 10 lists in CW is here today courtesy of Derek Dean: The Top 10 Most Feared Cliffhangers of the DS9 Crew (../top10/73.html).
Finally, for our second First Fiver Retrospective, we have our second newest member -- IJD GAF (../features/ffrijdgaf.html), whose first fiver was "Relativity (../voyager/fiver.php?ep=relativity)." You'll have to have been here a very long time to recognize the name "The Newbie," but those who haven't should still be able to figure out what's going on.[/list]


Tomorrow's update includes a new comic fiver, so don't miss Day 14!

[mudshark]

Martok: I've got the whole musical on DVD if you'd like to borrow it. It's the R'awdjers and Ha'marrs'tok version. :snerk:
Alexander: I call my bat'leth "Pokey".
Worf: That will not do. How about "Poh'ki"?
Alexander: That works. Heheh.
Martok: What the hell?
Alexander: I'm practicing.
Martok: Practicing what, ballet?
Alexander: And fighting. Killing two birds with one stone, really.
Martok: Alexander, your father told me to kick you off the ship. But had he not, I still would have after viewing this shocking display.
Alexander: Wanna see my rendition of "Targ Lake"?
Martok: No. Getting something about "vast tracts of land" here. :D
Alexander: You broke the fourth wall again! Won't people catch onto that sort of gimmick?
Worf: Not likely. Watch this.
(Nobody catches on at Ludicrous Speed) :snicker:


Lemmings, heh.
Delenn: How's Upsilon Squadron taking their demotion?
Sheridan: They're radiating unhappiness, but they're hoping to be back up to Omicron by next week. Hee.


And the number one most feared cliffhanger of a DS9 crewman....

1. O'Brien: He wakes up in a life that is fun and in which all the people he meets are kind and don't want to torture him Wouldn't do at all, would it?


What is this? It's not even a joke! It's abbreviation without absurdination. Why yes, I *have* been waiting to use that line. And a good one it was.


Good stuff all around. :D

[Gatac]

Jadzia: Of course I have. I've listened to "Jump Around" nonstop since last season.

Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs...

Gatac

[Derek]

Martok: He breaks the fourth wall as you do, Worf! I conclude that the two of you are related.
Worf: Not so! I swear in the name of The Reader that -- aw, crud.
Heh. Nice fiver, IJD.

Franklin: I'm not lost, I just took an extra left turn at Albuquerque.
Heh.
Delenn: I don't understand. Every other time our White Star took fire, it barely got scratched. Why did we get totalled this time?
Lennier: You know those background ships that explode if you look at them funny? We took one of those.
Always double-check the paperwork.

>>Doc: Uh oh, there's a time difference. It's not daylight savings time, is it?<<

Lame.
This line still cracks me up. Great job, IJD.

[Marc]

Kira: Kira gets left in the Mirror Universe and is forced to impersonate the Intendant

On the plus side, she'd get to wear that nifty leather outfit.

Worf: I can't help the weakling. He was cursed with brains, not muscle.
Alexander: (from the bridge) Ahhh! Rogue battle simulation! Save me!
Martok: Apparently he was cursed with neither.

You can always count on a Klingon to deliver a stylish insult.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Happy birthday, 3rd of 4.

Martok: He breaks the fourth wall as you do, Worf! I conclude that the two of you are related.
Worf: Not so! I swear in the name of The Reader that -- aw, crud.

*znerk*

Worf: I can't help the weakling. He was cursed with brains, not muscle.
Alexander: (from the bridge) Ahhh! Rogue battle simulation! Save me!
Martok: Apparently he was cursed with neither.
Worf: Shut up.

*snicker*

Worf: This weapon is called a kar'takin. You'll notice the Jem'Hadar use the same random apostrophes in their weapon names as we do. The mark of a true warrior.

You may be on to something here, IJD.

Worf: Sure, kid. I'll even teach you to be a real warrior.
Alexander: Really?

He hasn't succeeded so far.

Bashir: The whole station lives or dies on his ability to distinguish a pre-ganglionic fiber from a post-ganglionic nerve

We're doomed...

I'm not going to say your fiver is bad, but I'm sure as hell going to imply it.

Wow, you really ripped yourself a new one. There's no harsher critic than yourself. (see also: Movements of Fire and Shadow *twitch*)

Great job, all.

[PointyHairedJedi]

There's a whole bunch of formatting errors in "Movements", by the way.

Anyway, good stuff, all! Been enjoying these retrospectives quite a bit - I'd been wondering when we'd get round to having "commentaries". ;)

[Sa'ar Chasm]

There's a whole bunch of formatting errors in "Movements", by the way.

My fault, mostly. I wrote that one in a hurry and didn't check to closely on how I structured things or what Zeke's HTMLisation program would make of them.

[PointyHairedJedi]

One think I meant to ask - where did the "hamster" thing come from? Were you by any chance thinking of the fiver for The Final Frontier at that moment?

[Sa'ar Chasm]

One think I meant to ask - where did the "hamster" thing come from?

I'm not sure. The dim recesses of my brain are a scary place. I'm not really sure where anything comes from.

Were you by any chance thinking of the fiver for The Final Frontier at that moment?

You mean the "look at the monkey" bit? Nope. For those of you who haven't seen the episode, what Lyta and Franklin found were organic pods that were being used to fly unmanned Centauri ships by remote. I figured hamsters running in wheels were a good silly take on that.

Plus it's well known that I have a rodent fetish. Lemming.

[Xeroc]

Excellent fivers all around! :D


Is it just me - or does that sound like I'm ordering drinks? ;)

[Chancellor Valium]

Excellent fivers all around! :D


Is it just me - or does that sound like I'm ordering drinks? ;)

Yes, it does. I'll have a Curse of Fenric floating in gin, served in a pointy hat. And go easy on the artichokes.

[PointyHairedJedi]

I never liked that myself. Too much garlic.

[NAHTMMM]

Martok: He breaks the fourth wall as you do, Worf! I conclude that the two of you are related.
Worf: Not so! I swear in the name of The Reader that -- aw, crud.
Heheh.

Worf: I can't help the weakling. He was cursed with brains, not muscle.
Alexander: (from the bridge) Ahhh! Rogue battle simulation! Save me!
Martok: Apparently he was cursed with neither.
Worf: Shut up.
:D :D

Alexander: Wanna see my rendition of "Targ Lake"?
Martok: No.
:mrgreen:



Franklin: Of course. I have nothing better to do than go gallavanting off to a possibly hostile planet on a possibly sleeveless errand.


Narn General: They stop the destruction of their jumpgate by dumb luck, and they have the nerve to call us freaks.
Drazi General: Indeed. That's a rather nasty skin condition, by the way.
Narn General: Don't remind me. The Centauri took all our skin cream when they evacuated our planet.
Drazi General: You know, the Centauri have very nice skin. They can't possibly need all that cream.
Narn General: (grins evilly)
And lemmingness. Heheheh :D

Lyta: (waving fingers) You don't want to kill us. You want to kill yourself.
Assassin: I don't want to kill you. I want to kill my-- GAK!
Franklin: That has to be worth a Dark Side point or two.

Sheridan: Sheridan to all White Stars: When I nod my head, hit it! (nod)
All White Stars: (clonk!)
Sheridan: Ow!


Lyta: (over the comm) We found these in a giant cage on the Drazi homeworld. The Shadows used these hamsters to power ships by running in a little wheel.
Franklin: My liver! It's gnawing on my liver!
Sheridan: This explains many things that have been baffling me.
Franklin: No! Now it's eating my appendix!
Sheridan: Do they always do that?
Lyta: All the time.
Franklin: WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME?!

Delenn: I don't understand. Every other time our White Star took fire, it barely got scratched. Why did we get totalled this time?
Lennier: You know those background ships that explode if you look at them funny? We took one of those.
:lol: :lol: And nice ending too ;)



Nice list, Derek. :mrgreen:



Also lame, but at least you noticed yourself this time.


Don't you know you're supposed to end on a joke? Jeez, you'd think this was your first fiver or something.
Heheh, poor "Newbie"... ;)