PDA

View Full Version : June 28


Zeke
06-29-2005, 07:17 AM
Welcome to Day 14, home of the Fortnightburger.
<ul>
As promised, today's centrepiece is a new comic fiver: Battlestar Galactica: The Miniseries (../bsg/comic.php?ep=battlestargalactica&page=1), by Kira, of Kira, and for Kira. (This is why I said the fiver was a double cliffhanger.) Yep, that's right -- we now have three people making comic fivers. And each comic fiver is worth about three months' output from Sev Trek. Put that in your pipe and sev it!
Next up is "Descent I (../nextgen/fiver.php?ep=descent1)" by me. This one has a story to it: I originally wrote it for the 5MNG anniversary event last year, but it was juuuuust barely too late to publish without extending the event. Kira persuaded me to save it for Cliffhanger Week, and so for nine months I've been going nuts waiting to get this thing out. (Bet that sounds familiar to any moms reading....) Hope you find it's worth the wait.
And let's not forget the Occupation Arc. Today we've got -- wait a sec. Where's the file? ...Okay, let's do forget the Occupation Arc for today. Move along. Nothing to see here.
Finally, the third most-longevitious staffer is of course Marc Richard, so here's his First Fiver Retrospective (../features/ffrmarc.html). (The fiver, still one of my all-time favourites of his, is "One (../voyager/fiver.php?ep=one).")[/list]


Be here tomorrow for Day 15, when Cliffhanger Week enters its third week!

Alexia
06-29-2005, 08:14 AM
Welcome to Day 14, home of the Fortnightburger.

Why do I want to say "Can I take you're order" in a Kell type voice?

Chancellor Valium
06-29-2005, 11:59 AM
^ Can I get fries with that?
:P

PointyHairedJedi
06-29-2005, 12:54 PM
Why do I want to say "Can I take you're order" in a Kell type voice?
Kell? The closest I can come up with is Krell, and goodness knows what they sounded like.

More comics are always cool. Also, when are we going to see your retrospective, Zeke? Or is that just part of the suspense?

Derek
06-29-2005, 01:04 PM
Great comic, Kira.

Troi: You were almost enjoying it?
Data: How dare you?
Troi: Come on, Data! You're not the first man to get a thrill out of murdering someone! I see it all the time!
Heh. And I liked all the other BoBW and FC quotes in there as well.

I estimate that if the present rate of expansion is left unchecked, the final Next Generation fiver I write will be three times longer than the script of the original television episode.
I can see it now, 3-hour Voyager.

PointyHairedJedi
06-29-2005, 02:33 PM
Great comic, Kira.
I can see it now, 3-hour Voyager.
As opposed to "Threshold", which just felt three hours long. :D

Chancellor Valium
06-29-2005, 02:40 PM
Worf: Increased security on all decks. Ten men at every door!
Crusher: That would require approximately 83,000 more officers than are currently aboard.
(Everyone stares)
Crusher: Someone has to fill in for Data.
:mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Data: I am having difficulty inducing any further emotions. Can you help me, Counsellor?
Troi: Ha! I'm not falling for that line again.
:twisted: :D :lol:

Crosis: Human/Betazoid hybrid. Point out the near-impossibility of successful interspecies reproduction. Disappearance in a puff of logic is immediate.
Troi: Oh yeah? I'm still here, aren't --
(POOF)
That'll teach her to prove black is white :P

Picard: Even if we can enter the conduit, it will likely be a difficult piloting job. Number One, you know what to do.
Riker: Aye, sir. Counselor Troi to the bridge!
:mrgreen:

evay
06-29-2005, 03:57 PM
I can see it now, 3-hour Voyager.
I'd read that. I miss Voyager. Even "Threshold."

Alexia
06-29-2005, 05:03 PM
Why do I want to say "Can I take you're order" in a Kell type voice?
Kell? The closest I can come up with is Krell, and goodness knows what they sounded like.

Kell as in "Kenan & Kell". The dude who played Kell was in something else where he worked in a fast food place called GoodBurger. His first line in the sketch was always "Welcome to Goodburger home of the Goodburger can I take your order?". He always said it in such a deadpan voice and it always came out as one continuous sentence. 'twas amusing.

PointyHairedJedi
06-29-2005, 05:07 PM
Ohhh, that. Haven't seen that show in years.

Anonymous
06-29-2005, 05:32 PM
Marc: lol good times.... ;) I remember that as well (P/T forever BTW). I also remember when I read one of your TNG fivers and was floored by a BONC joke. (P/C forever!) Anyways, thanks for the shout out to DC. ;) Zeke so rarely shouts out to us anymore.... lol j/k

Chancellor Valium
06-29-2005, 05:46 PM
Just An Electronic......Killers

Oh, dear, sweet singing fish. This was so bad, I didn't get it until I wrote it down, and looked at it for about half an hour.......

mudshark
06-29-2005, 06:26 PM
Kira, the fiver was quite enjoyable by itself. Nice work on the comic to make it even better. :D

Just one thing:
DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind. Who knew? ;)


Einstein: You forgot to ante in, Isaac.
Newton: You future scientists and your quibbling over details. Honestly, what does an ante matter? *snerk*
Borg: I'll kill you, android!
Data: (BASH BASH BASH) Your contractions... are making me...
Borg: Aren't you going to finish?
Data: ANGRY!
Borg: G'K! Heheheh.
Picard: Looks like we may have a Hughge problem on our hands. Ow.
Crosis: Human/Betazoid hybrid. Point out the near-impossibility of successful interspecies reproduction. Disappearance in a puff of logic is immediate.
Troi: Oh yeah? I'm still here, aren't --
(POOF) Oh, dear. :D
Worf: The stolen shuttle's signature is situated on a circling sphere, sir.
Riker: You mean a planet?
Worf: Sorry. We Klingons have difficulty stopping alliteration once we've started it.
Picard: I've never heard that about Klingons.
Worf: Well, it doesn't come up much. :mrgreen:


And speaking of allusions, I was amused when one of my favourite jokes in the "One" fiver ended up being quoted verbatim in Zeke's parody of "Doctor's Orders," an Enterprise episode which is a virtual clone of "One." For marketing reasons, I won't say which joke I'm talking about; feel free to read (or re-read) both fivers for yourself if you'd like to find it. That joke had me giggling the first time, and it was just as good when it showed up in "Doctor's Orders" -- it never hurts to go with a winner. :D

Marc
06-29-2005, 07:24 PM
Data: Fascinating -- a door marked "Door Number One." I believe it is for you, Commander.

I wouldn't have opened it if I'd been Riker....

Captain's Log: Mr. Data has had a strange experience and has asked to be relieved of duty. In the middle of a potential Borg onslaught. Some people are just me, me, me.

Riker: They were all "me, me, me." It looks like Hugh's individuality made it into the Collective.

Great double joke!

Worf: Increased security on all decks. Ten men at every door!
Crusher: That would require approximately 83,000 more officers than are currently aboard.
(Everyone stares)
Crusher: Someone has to fill in for Data.

Who knew Beverly had it in her?

Picard: So very human... Will, do you think I made the right choice?
Riker: No, I think you made the left choice. Putting one individual's welfare ahead of galactic security is a liberal attitude. Speaking of which...
Picard: I'm not giving you a raise.

Nice try, though.

Crosis: Human/Betazoid hybrid. Point out the near-impossibility of successful interspecies reproduction. Disappearance in a puff of logic is immediate.
Troi: Oh yeah? I'm still here, aren't --
(POOF)

"Dear Madam: The Bureau of Census flatly denies your existence."

Good stuff, Zeke, and nice comic, Kira!

Zeke
06-29-2005, 08:47 PM
DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind. Who knew? ;)

Don't make me come over there.

Sa'ar Chasm
06-30-2005, 03:24 AM
La Forge: Hmmm... yep, your Current Mood indicator is still warm. You had an emotion.
Data: I believe it was... anger.
La Forge: This could change everything for you, Data!
Data: Anger: ire, vexation, PO'd-ness....
La Forge: Maybe not everything.

*g* He would be our Data if he wasn't a walking thesaurus.

Troi: Come on, Data! You're not the first man to get a thrill out of murdering someone! I see it all the time!
Data: I respectfully doubt that. You would not see a neon sign in front of your face marked "See?"

Mocking Troi never gets old either.

Data: No. I am going through the motions, but nothing seems to penetrate my heart.

Song lyrics?

Riker: They're entering another conduit! They'll get away!
Picard: Ensign... um, what's your name?
Richard: Richard, sir.
Picard: Ensign Richard. Right. PUNCH IT!

What, are they waterskiing or something?

Worf: The Borg ship took that opportunity to escape. Nicely done, Richard.
Richard: What? But I'm not the tactical --
Worf: SILENCE!

*snicker* Poor bugger. Even on the bridge, a red shirt is dangerous.

Crosis: Human/Betazoid hybrid. Point out the near-impossibility of successful interspecies reproduction. Disappearance in a puff of logic is immediate.
Troi: Oh yeah? I'm still here, aren't --
(POOF)

Hah! So randomly bizarre.

Data: Which One? Past, present, or future?

That was, that is, or that will be?

(He's stuck in traffic)

Worf: The stolen shuttle's signature is situated on a circling sphere, sir.
Riker: You mean a planet?
Worf: Sorry. We Klingons have difficulty stopping alliteration once we've started it.
Picard: I've never heard that about Klingons.
Worf: Well, it doesn't come up much.

*snicker*

La Forge: Hmm... I can't detect Data or the Borg. The planet's atmosphere is blocking our scans.
Picard: Number One, take -- where are you going?
Riker: To put another notch in the "things blocking our scans" stick.

That's a big stick.

Riker: (over the comm) They're not in the shuttle, sir. They've had about three hours, and given their likely walking speed... dear God! They could be 180 minutes away by now!
Picard: ...Right. Since we can't scan for them, we'll have to send teams to search for them on foot.
Riker: But our crew only walk at sixty minutes per hour!

I distinctly remember you tell me about this. I also completely forgot about it until I read the fiver.

Troi: Hey! Look! There's a huge temple over there!
Picard: What the...? How could Deanna notice that and not us? It's so obvious! ...Ah, right.

*g*

La Forge: Hmmm, there's nobody here.
Vast Multitudes of Borg: CHARGE!
Picard: Perfect. Your visor couldn't detect their body heat?
La Forge: Well, sir, it's not all-powerful --
Picard: How about the huge Borg emblem on the ceiling?

A cogent point.

Doctor: Here we are! A simulated crew party in a holographic recreation of the Mess Hall!
Seven: Do I really have to participate?
Doctor: Fun will now commence.

"I have been a bad girl..."

mudshark
06-30-2005, 07:55 AM
Data: No. I am going through the motions, but nothing seems to penetrate my heart.Song lyrics? Yup. (http://www.restlessbtvs.com/trivia/lyrics-going-through-the-motions/)

Zeke
06-30-2005, 08:56 AM
The Buffy musical is an inexhaustible supply of reference material. OC fans will recall the five-seconder (http://www.fiveminute.net/oc/s2.html) of "The Family Ties." Rommie grabbed another line from Giles here (http://www.fiveminute.net/andromeda/fiver.php?ep=ouroboros), and Archer yet another one here (http://www.fiveminute.net/enterprise/fiver.php?ep=fallenhero). (Huh. Guess Giles had the best lines.)

Marc
06-30-2005, 01:51 PM
>> Quote:
Doctor: Here we are! A simulated crew party in a holographic recreation of the Mess Hall!
Seven: Do I really have to participate? Doctor: Fun will now commence.

"I have been a bad girl..." <<

From various recent posts by Sa'ar, I am gradually realizing that he has an exceptionally good memory for conversations he has with people.... ;)

Sa'ar Chasm
06-30-2005, 03:41 PM
And little else.

I remember that line in particular because there was a rather disturbing element to it.

My memory is actually more like Swiss cheese, since I manage to forget everything nearly Zeke tells me (although I remember the first thing he ever said to me).

PointyHairedJedi
06-30-2005, 04:22 PM
*Looks at Sa'ar's sig*


Naaah, couldn't be.....



....Could it?

Xeroc
06-30-2005, 05:22 PM
Very funny! I'd quote, but I think we've already managed to fill up many pages with comments! :D

NAHTMMM
07-01-2005, 08:11 PM
Hawking: Small things... can be quite... important indeed. Such as... sevens. And four... the number of them... I have. Ha... ha... ha... ha...
Data: I am afraid I cannot spare the hours it will take for you to finish laughing. Computer, end program.
(All but Hawking vanish)
Data: Curious. You are still intact.
Hawking: That's what... my doctors... say.
That was bad but I'm still :lol:

Data: (BASH BASH BASH) Your contractions... are making me...
Borg: Aren't you going to finish?
Data: ANGRY!
Borg: G'K!
Riker: Data? What's wrong? You're --
Data: Grrrr....


Nechayev: Remember that time you had a Borg in your custody....
Picard: Yes, yes, we've been over this....
Nechayev: ....whom you could have used to destroy the entire Collective....
Picard: Can we just talk about the fleet deployments?
Nechayev: ....and you LET HIM GO?
Picard: I think the Crazy Horse would be good for Sector J.


Picard: My name is Jean-Luc Picard, and I --
Crosis: Human. Impale with high-speed plunger. Death is immediate.
Worf: Listen to him, prisoner!
Crosis: Klingon. Remark on forehead undulation. Embarrassment is immediate.
Troi: We should try to understand him, sympathize with his....
Crosis: Human/Betazoid hybrid. Point out the near-impossibility of successful interspecies reproduction. Disappearance in a puff of logic is immediate.
Troi: Oh yeah? I'm still here, aren't --
(POOF)
:lol: :lol:

La Forge: It looks like there's an entire network of these transwarp conduits. It could even spread as far as Earth....
Picard: Don't be ridiculous. If there were one right in front of Earth they'd have used it by now.


Picard: Number One, take -- where are you going?
Riker: To put another notch in the "things blocking our scans" stick.
:twisted:

Picard: Oh, okay. -- Hey! You're not Data at all, are you?
Lore: No. But guess who is?
Picard: (thinks) Data?
Data: Correct! And guess who is on Lore's side now?
Picard: (thinks)
Troi: Sir... (whispers)
Picard: GASP!
:D



An interesting read, Marc. Thanks for writing it! :)