September 9

[Zeke]

The 5MNG anniversary event ends today as the last not-yet-heard-from staff member chimes in. Here's IJD GAF with "Unification I (../nextgen/fiver.php?ep=unification1)."


Unfortunately, neither IJD nor I got our respective second parts done under the wire. I'm not going to extend the event even further to give us time; it was a mistake to extend it at all. And this leads me to my closing statement. Normally I end an anniversary event with a thank you to the section head; this time I need to include an apology too.


My recent effort to stop promising too much and then apologizing to you readers is one thing. I like making updates, but I don't owe them to you. I do, however, owe Marc. He's been helping me with this site longer than anyone else, and the whole time he's had to put up with my procrastination and intermittent responsiveness. The very least he deserves from me is that I not screw up his subsite's anniversary. I should have taken into account what a mess I'm in right now and not overcommitted to the event; instead, I aimed for more than I could deliver, and then held back the update days rather than just accept that I'd failed.


So I'm sorry, Marc. And I thank you for all you've done and continue to do.


(Don't think IJD and I are leaving you readers hanging, by the way -- the conclusions will be published as soon as we finish. They just won't be part of this event. That ship has sailed away.)

[Derek]

Picard: Some aging, has-been galactic hero...
Spock: Ahem.
Picard: ...'s first officer. (whew)
Heheheheh. Great cliffhanger.

[Chancellor Valium]

I hate to be the bearer of nitpicks, but there were a couple of typos in that episode....
Picard: We need to borrow a cloaked ship. As Gowron's instillation wizard, I

and
a Forge: Commander, I've examined the wreckage and determined that it came from the T'Pau.
Riker: That old Vulcan high counsel member? Figures. You know I've always favored taking licenses away from older Vulcans.

Sorry....

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Picard: Indeed. Say, what's that horrible smell?
Riker: That? It's my new cologne formulation. I call it "Willpower".

That's wrong on so many levels...

Perrin: Here he is. Yelling, smoking, and whistling of Disney theme songs are not permitted.

I feel like I'm missing something here.

Sarek: ?"pardeK" ekil ,sdrow esnesnon emos tuoba woH .sdrawkcab gniklat fo tibah eht pu nekat ev'I ,snacluV enasni tsom htiw sA
Picard: Pardek? Is that who Spock went to see?

New twist on an old joke. Well done.

Data: Captain, do you think our disguises are convincing enough to fool the Romulans?
Picard: I don't know. Why don't you step out into the corridor and find out?
Data: I don't see how that will--
(kaSHINK)
Data: I see your point, Captain. Would you mind pulling this Bat'leth out of my back?

*chortle*

Pardek: Please excuse my guards, Captain. We had to get you off the streets.
Picard: No worries. He says he's got an armoire I can have.
Pardek: Nice. So what brings you to Romulus?
Picard: Some aging, has-been galactic hero...
Spock: Ahem.
Picard: ...'s first officer. (whew)

Nice save. Looking forward to Part II.

[ijdgaf]

Perrin: Here he is. Yelling, smoking, and whistling of Disney theme songs are not permitted.

I feel like I'm missing something here.

Doubtful ;)

I also should apologize to Marc. Hell, this fiver's been in progress since early planning for Cliffhanger Week. I figured I could have it done in time for this event, at least. And life proved me wrong. Marc, I'm sorry for whatever proportion of this delay is my fault.

(re: typos -- d'oh. I swear, I ran this fiver through spellcheck at least three times :x )

[Zeke]

Marc, I'm sorry for whatever proportion of this delay is my fault.

That proportion, for the record, is zero. IJD told me, and I quote:

[21:18] IJD: don't wait for Unification to publish. i can't promise anything.
[21:24] FiveMinZeke: Oh. Okay.
[21:24] FiveMinZeke: But since I was a day late with day 2, day 3 is tomorrow.
[21:24] IJD: okay. but all i can give you is a maybe. i don't want to be the cause of a delay

Waiting for him was my call. I made it mostly because I wanted more time to finish Time's Arrow. IJD's responsible for the fiver not being done, but he has nothing to do with the delays in the event.

[Marc]

I appreciate Zeke and IJD's postings and I thank them for the sentiments they've expressed. I've spent much of the day considering the issues involved and composing a message in response, which I've now posted in the 5MV Talk section of the board and e-mailed to the staff writers.

Marc

[Xeroc]

It's sad to see you go, Marc. :(


(Still a great fiver! :D)

[Anonymous]

As long as we're picking on typos, "Say, you should see some of the things we confiscate of these ships." should be "Say, you should see some of the things we confiscate OFF these ships." Or, you could always say that was deliberate.

[Zeke]

September 12


Marc Richard has quit 5M.net. He's explained his reasons here (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=907).


I'm going to address this more fully, but right now I just want to emphasize that this site is not shutting down. IJD and Derek assure me they have no intention of leaving, and I'm not going anywhere. My plans for the site have not changed. The events of the last couple of weeks have been a heavy blow, but not a fatal one.

[Opium]

Despite the two rather unhappy events happening, I really liked Unfication Part 1".

:?

[Gatac]

From the things-you-find-while-surfing-yourbookmarks Department:

I know that this may stir up some feelings, but atleast it shows that there are people out there who appreciate it:

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=lizard_SF&tab=weblogs&uid=347099922

Gatac

[Zeke]

Oh, there certainly are such people out there. That fiver has become our most widely-circulated in quite a while. Run a Google search for "five-minute battlestar" and see what turns up.

[Scooter]

Wow. I've been so busy with teaching and studenting that I actually missed two staff resignations and a half-dozen great fivers! Good grief. It's like coming home from school and finding out your parents sold the garage. ("But my bike--!" "Shh, we'll get you a new one.")

Weird. Anyway, Zeke, you have my bow. And my axe. As a half-elf, half-dwarf I carry both, ya know.

[evay]

As a half-elf, half-dwarf I carry both, ya know.
I didn't know Legolas and Gimli had finally figured out how to conceive...

[Zeke]

Ew.

[Celeste]

Double eww.

[Chancellor Valium]

Do I hear "triple 'ew'" in the room?
Do I hear "triple 'ew'"?

[whoiam]

I'll go for a triple 'ew'. And follow that up with a quadruple 'ew'.

And to top that all off, I need to go puke up for awhile, and then wash my brain out with soap. Lots and lots of Soap.

[evay]

:? Jeez, what other possible joke could have been intended with that pairing of species? What a bunch of wimps you all are. Now I'm going to have to call the representative from my local chapter of the North Middle-Earth Elf-Dwarf Love Association to get some educational tracts to hand out.

[Zeke]

I know this may shock you, but most people's minds don't automatically run towards slash. If I hear about a half-Klingon, half-Cardassian, my immediate thought is not "OMG GARAK AND WORF HAD A BABY SQUEE."

[Sa'ar Chasm]

but most people's minds don't automatically run towards slash.

Quite the opposite, in fact. You have to be nimble or you get trampled in the stampede.

If I hear about a half-Klingon, half-Cardassian, my immediate thought is not "OMG GARAK AND WORF HAD A BABY SQUEE."

More like, "By all that's holy, what produced such a sin against nature?"

*grin*

[evay]

sigh. Sorry I tried to make a joke. I'll just stick to complimenting the fivers and not attempt other commentary.

[whoiam]

I'd have thought Gimli/Galadriel, myself...

[Opium]

As a half-elf, half-dwarf I carry both, ya know.
I didn't know Legolas and Gimli had finally figured out how to conceive...

Well, I got the joke...but then again, I love to read LOTR parodies. :D

[Chancellor Valium]

I'll go for a triple 'ew'. And follow that up with a quadruple 'ew'.

And to top that all off, I need to go puke up for awhile, and then wash my brain out with soap. Lots and lots of Soap.

Sold to the nit in the brown paper trilby and yellow matter custard bow tie!
:mrgreen:

[Anonymous]

You people are very, very strange. Clearly the seminal pairing that would produce a half-Dwarf, half-Elf would be Arwen and Thorin Oakenshield. I would have thought that was obvious.

[Scooter]

You people are very, very strange. Clearly the seminal pairing that would produce a half-Dwarf, half-Elf would be Arwen and Thorin Oakenshield. I would have thought that was obvious.

Hm. Of course, in the case of my cousin, Fredifar Bolgerinuel the half-Elf, half-Hobbit, there are any number of possible pairings...

[PointyHairedJedi]

I know OT-ness is a common occurence here, but this is starting to get into the realm of the surreal. :shock:

[Zeke]

sigh. Sorry I tried to make a joke. I'll just stick to complimenting the fivers and not attempt other commentary.

Whoa!

evay, do you honestly think anyone here was attacking you? This is perfectly normal forum banter. I'm sorry we (or just I) offended you. It was absolutely unintentional.

What I find offensive, on the other hand, is this implication that all I want to hear is praise for fivers. You know me better than that. Anything readers have to say, I want to hear -- and that goes double for my friends. How else am I supposed to know when I'm screwing up?

Opium: If you're implying that the rest of us didn't "really" get the joke because it referred to some LotR parody, can you let us in on it? I know well how much fun it is to catch something others miss, but now that you've said so, it's only fair to tell us what. :)

[Opium]

Zeke: I figured you all did get the joke, too. But there always has to be someone who's like, "Well, I got it because I *insert reason here*!" And many probably got that too, or not... *ominous music*

That being said...if you read enough LOTR parodies, good and bad, you realize that, hey, a lot of people won't go near L/G even in their parodies, and a lot will just imply that it'll never ever at all happen, and some then parody the fact that itL/G never happens, and some parody the parody of the parody, and....

it's a parody world, it is. Not enough pie, though.

(can yah tell I haven't read LOTR fandom in a while, and now have to cover up the fact that I can't find a good parody to recomend? )

:D

[evay]

No, I didn't feel attacked. ("I am familiar with human banter." -- Seven of Nine, "Equinox, Part 2") What I thought was an obvious -- and harmless -- joke in the LOTR fandom was apparently offensive to others, which was not my intention either. I did not expect that response from four people in a row.

[mudshark]

Skipping all the recriminations, u.s.w.: evay, got the joke -- I just laughed a little bit more at Zeke's "Ew" -- s'all fun. :) Not enough pie, though. There's never enough. :roll:

[Sa'ar Chasm]

I declare as case of "No harm, no foul" on all sides and vote we go back to talking about whatever we were talking about before, most likely pie. Or cedar. Or lemmings.

Mmm, cedar and lemming pie. High in fiber. And fur.

[Opium]

I we were talking about something to do with the thing and and the stuff regarding those thingys.

[Zeke]

Nobody found your post offensive, evay. Several of us found it gross.

"I am familiar with human banter." -- Seven of Nine, "Equinox, Part 2"

I'll see that and raise you a "Would you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intriguing."

[Chancellor Valium]

Nobody found your post offensive, evay. Several of us found it gross.

"I am familiar with human banter." -- Seven of Nine, "Equinox, Part 2"

I'll see that and raise you a "Would you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intriguing."

Neuf a la 'zing'.

[Alexia]

I know this may shock you, but most people's minds don't automatically run towards slash.
xD Proving I'm not most people :wink: :twisted:
If I hear about a half-Klingon, half-Cardassian, my immediate thought is not "OMG GARAK AND WORF HAD A BABY SQUEE."
What the hell would that look like? xD I'm seeing artist impressions coming here...

*hugs evay* :mrgreen:

[evay]

I would mention Sev Trek's "Half-Klingon Half-Tribble" cartoon, but since everything on his fracking site went subscription, you can't see it any more. Of course, since almost everything on his site isn't funny any more, it's not such a big loss.

[Alexia]

I know. He totally ruined it when he changed the layout and moved the site a year or so ago.

I haven't been there since.

[Anonymous]

There's never enough. :roll:
You're one of those damn crazy Pientologists, aren't you! :x

[Chancellor Valium]

There's never enough. :roll:
You're one of those damn crazy Pientologists, aren't you! :x

Ain't Nu'in crazy 'bout pah'ntol'gy. Only thems peoples whose believes in eeyut. [/Cletus aged 60 accent]

[Zeke]

Holy cow. Did we just stop arguing about who was and wasn't offended, and agree to offend Sev Trek instead?

BEST THREAD EVER.

[Anonymous]

Eh. The ressurected corpse of Topic Title could take it, no problem.

In conclusion, Sev Trek blows donkeys.

[Chancellor Valium]

Sev Trek would be beaten by the giant musk ox of nogood...

[Scooter]

Holy cow. Did we just stop arguing about who was and wasn't offended, and agree to offend Sev Trek instead?

BEST THREAD EVER.

Wait, what's wrong with Trek entirely centered around Dr. Crusher? I think--

oh, wait, you said Sev Trek, my bad.

[Breca_Halley]

No comment on the above. :wink: Anyway, I just came here to say that I was sad to hear about the resignations. Even though I don't participate in the forums much, 5MV has been my homepage for a couple of years now, and it gives me a reason to laugh daily, something I really need, especially lately. This site, its creators, and its fans, are all strong, and I don't doubt that it will continue to be what it has been since it started. (Which is awesome, by the way.) I'll miss Kira and Marc--their fivers (and probably the tons of other behind-the-scenes work that I don't know about) have been great. Cheers to Zeke too. "Keep on truckin'."

-Bre