December 26

[Zeke]

And now, at last, the honest-to-Kryptonian-god conclusion of the Smallville event. Drumroll, please... here's Five-Minute Superman: The Movie (../movies/superman.php), by Scooter! You'll believe a man can five.


Be sure to check out the front page -- I've finally made a new Christmas banner. And be here tomorrow for a big change of pace.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Lex: Otis, chap with the cape there. Five rounds rapid.

I always somehow forget just how lethal Scooter's one-liners can be. Probably one of those subconcious self-preseveration thingys.

Hurrah! And also, GAK! :D

[e of pi]

Zeke- like the way the seasonal site update looks. Is there any chance that this thing I should be here for will involve something I've actually seen? As a member of the next generation of Fiver readers, I wholeheartedly approve boldly reading what I've never seen before, but it gets a little annoying sometimes.

[Zeke]

This one's a Voyager update.

Hmm... there seems to be a lot of interest in getting back to Trek stuff. Several of you guys mentioned your hopes for new ENT fivers recently. I'll bear that in mind.

[Scooter]

... involve something I've actually seen?
I too would love to see more Trek stuff but -- you mean you haven't seen Superman: The Movie? I thought everyone had! It was the Matrix of 1978! :)

[Gatac]

I do know a few people who never saw Matrix...

(Heathens, all of them.)

Gatac

[e of pi]

Or only four when it came out... you forget I'm 15.

[Chancellor Valium]

I do know a few people who never saw Matrix...

(Heathens, all of them.)

Gatac

How dare ye call me a heathen!
:P

[Celeste]

My name's Heather, not heathen. hehe. Silly gatac.

[Derek]

Jimmy: Thanks, Superman! I heard you repaired the whole San Andreas single-handedly!
Superman: Yes, Jimmy, I was generous to a fault.
That is awful.

Clark: All those powers, and I couldn't save him. Now I have no father.
Voice of Jor-El: Son, remember how much fun we had cruising through the Mutara Nebula --
Clark: No father at all.
Jor-El was hilarious. Good job on his characterization in general. Both as tour guide and as general pain-in-the-butt.

[Anonymous]

Jor-El was hilarious. Good job on his characterization in general. Both as tour guide and as general pain-in-the-butt.
Thanks. I find it very ominous that the trailer for Superman Returns features only the voice of Marlon Brando's Jor-El.

[Scooter]

Jor-El was hilarious. Good job on his characterization in general. Both as tour guide and as general pain-in-the-butt.
Thanks. I find it very ominous that the trailer for Superman Returns features only the voice of Marlon Brando's Jor-El.
Sorry, that was me.

[NeoMatrix]

Sad to say my own wife has not seen the Matrix

[Derek]

^ Neither has my wife.

And I meant to mention this earlier, Zeke:
You'll believe a man can five.
20,000 Justice Leagues under the sea
Jingle bells, Batman sm-- no, wait
Clark dies! Really! And Seven returns to the Borg!
Are simply terrible. Terrible! And also highly amusing.

[Scooter]

Are simply terrible. Terrible! And also highly amusing.
I also wanted to call attention to the terrible and very funny Smallville blurbs.

[mudshark]

Indian Chief: ...And then Custer said, "Not with an orangutan I won't! Nice work, Scooter. Too many good lines to quote them all, but this was too good to pass up.




Be sure to check out the front page -- I've finally made a new Christmas banner. Nice! :D

[Kristina]

Fun stuff, Scooter! :D
I remember thinking how the storyline was kept waiting for oh-so-long when I saw the movie as well.
Valium: I'm probably worse than a heathen with regard to Matrix, which may or may not make you feel better.

[Scooter]

In light of Zeke's disclaimer on the Superman fiver, this is absorbing and appalling reading: the 20-year nightmare of Superman V/Superman Returns (http://www.agonybooth.com/forum/topic2730.htm).

[Zeke]

Oh WOW. That's link day material, no question. I knew about some of this (I've read Moriarty's description of the JJ Abrams script, and also a pretty lousy Kevin Smith script for Superman Lives), but I had no idea of the sheer mass of bad ideas that have gone into this thing. What particularly worries me is that this post is only two months old. I thought Superman Returns was a clean break from these rejected plans -- if it has anything to do with them, I'll be a lot less optimistic.

[PointyHairedJedi]

I don't think you could make stuff like that up. To echo Zeke, wow.

[Scooter]

What particularly worries me is that this post is only two months old. I thought Superman Returns was a clean break from these rejected plans -- if it has anything to do with them, I'll be a lot less optimistic.
The post is recent but the article itself is older and does not include the events of 2005, during which the Singer came on board and reorganized things his way. But the plot summary of the movie (available at the official site here (http://supermanreturns.warnerbros.com/story.html) doesn't sound like a complete break with the "reimagining" to me.

What's most telling about this is that at each turn they've wanted to convert Superman into what was really hot in the cinemas at the moment -- Batman, Matrix, LOTR, etc. Through this process they eventually ended up with Singer (X-Men).

[mudshark]

In light of Zeke's disclaimer on the Superman fiver, this is absorbing and appalling reading: the 20-year nightmare of Superman V/Superman Returns (http://www.agonybooth.com/forum/topic2730.htm).Oy, and I didn't even read the whole thing. What a ... mess.