Questions for the ages

[Zeke]

I put it to you, gentlemen. Is the shaker with more holes for the salt or for the pepper?

[MaverickZer0]

The salt, I think. I always thought that, since the pepper would overload and make it spicy...but something's kicking me saying it's the pepper...
...agh.

[Opium]

The salt has more holes. :D

[e of pi]

Statement indicating that this drone agrees with Opium. Additionally, the one with no holes is for ketchup.

[Alexia]

I thought it was pepper? :roll:

[PointyHairedJedi]

Salt. The pepper shaker always has less holes.

[Alexia]

Really? Well that just goes to show how little attention I pay I guess :wink:

[danieldoof]

yep I have to go with pointy on this one

the salt shaker has more holes
so it is easier to get rid of those blood- and salt-sucking aliens ............ or have I dreamt that?

[KillerGodMan]

I don't really care, I use grinders for both salt and pepper

(also, the answer is pepper)

[Sa'ar Chasm]

The salt shaker is generally the light coloured one and the pepper is the dark coloured one.

Failing that, I sprinkle a little out onto my palm and check.

I've no time to count holes.

[Naki]

Fear my |337 triumphant return!

and it is the salt shaker.

Its good to be back. How I have missed this place. The insanity, the friendship, the hammer and of course the pie.

I spent time on Ninpocho Chronicles (www.ninpocho.com) which is a RPG forum based around the Naruto anime (an anime about ninjas!). Still it is good to be back to where it all started for me. I have a couple of things that must be said.

Zeke - I've missed the pies man. I know we talk on MSN but now I'm back on the forums.

Mav - Been too long mate. I know we hang out everyday but you'll never join NC so I have to come here to post with you.

Nic - I still haven't forgotten about the black pjs O_O

Xeroc - You still have to much free time

All others - Too many to name and I forgot a lot of you. So sorry. Thanks for being great people and giving me the good memories that brought me back here.

And in closing - To all those who wonder how I can come back out of nowhere and just start posting. Simply put: I'm a Ninja, I can do these sorts of things.

Looking forward to posting again ^_^

Happy "Chaud (now Itachi) is back" day everyone

[Zeke]

Welcome back, Chaud. These mods are bringing back a lot of absentee members, and that can only be a good thing.

Unfortunately, at least one of your greetings is wasted. Nic is gone. I don't think he's ever coming back. I won't go into the reasons (they're his business), but you'll find him on LJ, not here.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Chuad Blaze.... I could swear there was a guy I used to know around here with that handle. ;)

Welcome back! One warning though - keep your eye out for the ghost of Topic Title, which seems be afflicting us of late.

[Katy Jane]

The one with many holes is for the salt

[Katy Jane]

The one with many holes is for the salt

[Chancellor Valium]

Gut reaction: pepper.
Or is it salt? AAAAH!

[e of pi]

This thread is basically just an excuse to increase postcount now, right?

[PointyHairedJedi]

True, but then so are most of the threads in this forum. :D

[e of pi]

Agreed, but this one doesn't even try to decieve the average viewer.

[PointyHairedJedi]

So you're saying it's a bit like Fox News then?

[e of pi]

Kinda, but with less lies.

[Alexia]

OK. Proof that, at least in the UK, the one with the few holes is for the salt. On a tesco advert, with a salt and pepper shaker, the salt is in the one with less holes.

Also, remember salt at school? In those little bottles, with the white caps, and JUST ONE HOLE?!

I rest my case.

[e of pi]

Scools often get food related items wrong.

[PointyHairedJedi]

"Eating nothing but pie will make you thin."

"Sa'ar isn't a flaming geek."

"PHJ is the greatest guy ever."

Okay, so that last one is true, but still, do we qualify yet?

[e of pi]

Not quite yet.

[PointyHairedJedi]

"SOYLENT GREEN IS NOT PEOPLE!"

[e of pi]

Ent was the best Trek ever!

There. :)

[PointyHairedJedi]

I'm going pay for this, but what the heck.

*Snickers*

[e of pi]

*Readys aspestos pants*

Ready.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Well, we're certainly having a spammy night tonight, we two. :D

[e of pi]

Night? It's only 6 pm here. I can go on like this for another few hours.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Unfortunately, I can't - I haven't yet perfected the art of sleep-spamming, so I shall have to leave you to it very shortly.

[e of pi]

C'ya "soon" then.

[Zeke]

So you're saying it's a bit like Fox News then?
Kinda, but with less lies.

Dammit, you two... what did we just talk about?

[e of pi]

Apologies. It was his fault.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

"Sa'ar isn't a flaming geek."

This is currently true. Things don't burn at -34 windchill.

[e of pi]

Fine. "Sa'ar doesn't have the capability to be, under certain meteorological circumstances, a flaming geek."

[KillerGodMan]

"e of pi is not actually made of pie"

[PointyHairedJedi]

Dammit, you two... what did we just talk about?
The pretzels put me up to it, I swear!

[Katy Jane]

Suuuuuure blame the pretzles, everyone else does. :roll:



:wink:

[PointyHairedJedi]

I'm not some kind of pretzelist, you know. Some of my best friends are pretzels!

[Katy Jane]

Ya right, i've seen you useing pretzel slurs all over the web!

[Vedra]

I'm a tad bit lost, since I post so infrequently. What happened to Chaud in the first place? Why is he back with a new name?

[Chancellor Valium]

And the other vital question: Since when has 5MV worked fast?

Is it all a secret plot by Zuke, aka Darth Anipulous?

[e of pi]

The Sixth! Nooooooooooooooooo!

[PointyHairedJedi]

"Remember, remember, the sixth of Zuketember."

Those were some dark times. I don't doubt though that Zuke is out there somewhere, plotting, scheming, and some other word that means he's coming up with evil plans that encompass his take-over of this site, and indeed the very world.

[KillerGodMan]

Isn't he a member here?

[Katy Jane]

Yes he is. :?

[Commodore Zuke]

WHAT? Of COURSE he is, FOOLS! None shall keep me out of a forum that is rightfully mine!

[Naki]

Zuke the day that 5MV is yours is the day that I shall make up with my hair monkeys (we haven't been talking)

[Commodore Zuke]

We shall see, you H-dropping tech firm. WE SHALL SEE. You have no idea what's coming.

And if you think I'm evil, wait till you meet my new partner....

[whoiam]

We shall see, you H-dropping tech firm. WE SHALL SEE. You have no idea what's coming.

And if you think I'm evil, wait till you meet my new partner....
If it's not John De Mol, it's not evil *enough*

[Zeke]

Ignore Zuke. He is, as usual, full of crap.

(Hey, if someone is almost as evil as this John De Mol, does that make him John De-Mol-ish?)

[PointyHairedJedi]

And if you think I'm evil, wait till you meet my new partner....
My money is on either Karl Rove or Barney the Dinosaur.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Hey, if someone is almost as evil as this John De Mol, does that make him John De-Mol-ish?

If he's evil without professional qualifications, is he John DeMol-ay?

(Does anyone know what I'm talking about?)

[Chancellor Valium]

WHAT? Of COURSE he is, FOOLS! None shall keep me out of a forum that is rightfully mine!

*puts on a false beard and hunches over*
What is your name?

:P

[Katy Jane]

Wheeeeeeee! Its Zuke! :D

er.. i mean Aggggggg! Its Zuke! :?


Zuke will rise again

[Sa'ar Chasm]

*puts on a false beard and hunches over*
What is your name?

WHAT...is your quest?

[whoiam]

Since you don't seem to have made the connection, John De Mol is in fact the man who invented Big Brother.... and a couple of the lesser reality TV series too, I think. Regardless, BB itself is enough to earn him 'antichrist' status all by itself...

[PointyHairedJedi]

Endemol... gah, I should have gotten that. Ah well.

Sa'ar, unless it's Tom Delay, then I've got no idea. Because you are, as ever, the geekiest of us all (except possibly Zeke).

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Sa'ar, unless it's Tom Delay, then I've got no idea.

That occurred to me as I was typing it, but no. It's fairly obscure.

[whoiam]

If you mean the "what is your name>" quote, then the correct answers would be "Sir Lancelot of Camelot", "Sir Robin of Camelot", "Sir Galahad of Camelot" or "Arthur, King of the Britons", would they not?

[danieldoof]

...
MINSTREL (singing): Brave Sir Robin ran away
ROBIN: No!
MINSTREL (singing): Bravely ran away away
...


BWAHAHAHA

[e of pi]

Random, but one of my favorite scene of the movie.

[Chancellor Valium]

*puts on a false beard and hunches over*
What is your name?

WHAT...is your quest?

WHAT...is the capital of Assyria?

[danieldoof]

red....no blue...GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Alexia]

*puts on a false beard and hunches over*
What is your name?

WHAT...is your quest?

WHAT...is the capital of Assyria?

Is is Ass?

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Wrong! *ZAP!*

[Chancellor Valium]

Heheheheheheheh!

[e of pi]

Agreed.

[MaverickZer0]

*puts on a false beard and hunches over*
What is your name?

WHAT...is your quest?

WHAT...is the capital of Assyria?

That's easy! The letter 'A'!

[KillerGodMan]

We shall see, you H-dropping tech firm. WE SHALL SEE. You have no idea what's coming.

And if you think I'm evil, wait till you meet my new partner....

WHAT? How did you find... HIM? HOW?

Um... excuse me... I need to go to... um... Tibet... yes... that's it! Tibet!*

*explination will come later, or you could just poke around in my LiveJournal...

[KillerGodMan]

*puts on a false beard and hunches over*
What is your name?

WHAT...is your quest?

WHAT...is the capital of Assyria?

That's easy! The letter 'A'!

We'll accept that, but the correct answer was Pie. Right, off you go!

[Chancellor Valium]

*puts on a false beard and hunches over*
What is your name?

WHAT...is your quest?

WHAT...is the capital of Assyria?

That's easy! The letter 'A'!

We'll accept that, but the correct answer was Pie. Right, off you go!

WAIT! WHAT...is the average wingspan of an African swallow?

[e of pi]

African or european?

[Chancellor Valium]

African or european?

Both, multiplied together and divided by the square root of -1 :twisted:

[e of pi]

Hmmm....42i? 47i?

[KillerGodMan]

No! The answer is pie!

[Xeroc]

Wouldn't that be pi * i? ;)


And, it is of course, that they should both have the same number of holes. They do where I am at least. :D

[Chancellor Valium]

Actually, the answer is a Menger Sponge.

[e of pi]

What the heck is a Menger Sponge.

[Zeke]

You seem to be making a disproportionate number of posts asking what people are talking about. Anyway, the Menger sponge is a fractal (http://mathworld.wolfram.com/MengerSponge.html).

[e of pi]

Yes. You people have been unusually obtuse lately. And that is a neat little fractal.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

You people have been unusually obtuse lately.

People keep telling me I'm rather acute.

[Xeroc]

You people have been unusually obtuse lately.

People keep telling me I'm rather acute.
Not chronic? ;)

[e of pi]

Ouch! The puns! They burn! In sequence!

[NeoMatrix]

You people have been unusually obtuse lately.

People keep telling me I'm rather acute.
Not chronic? ;)

Come on, get the right angle

[whoiam]

actually, acute and chronic would both be types of pain... just because you were associating by angles doesn't mean the rest of us have to...


...that'd be like making it a forum rule that every reference to dogs must include a chilli joke...

[danieldoof]

...that'd be like making it a forum rule that every reference to dogs must include a chilli joke...

hey I thought that one really exists :wink:

[e of pi]

I think it does. :wink:

[KillerGodMan]

You people have been unusually obtuse lately.

People keep telling me I'm rather acute.
Not chronic? ;)

Come on, get the right angle

Good Reflex!

[e of pi]

You people have been unusually obtuse lately.

People keep telling me I'm rather acute.
Not chronic? ;)

Come on, get the right angle

Good Reflex!

I'd get out my double barreled ray gun, but the barrels aren't aligned properly.

[Chancellor Valium]

You people have been unusually obtuse lately.

People keep telling me I'm rather acute.
Not chronic? ;)

Come on, get the right angle

Good Reflex!

You're all eroding my sanity by degrees. Stop it. It's bearing down on me something terrible.

[e of pi]

You people have been unusually obtuse lately.

People keep telling me I'm rather acute.
Not chronic? ;)

Come on, get the right angle

Good Reflex!

You're all eroding my sanity by degrees. Stop it. It's bearing down on me something terrible.

Alright, I know when I'm beat. I surrender.

[Chancellor Valium]

I can circumvent that. The Delta Quadrant will be ours! The segment of Borg who survive will be taken to the circumference of a black hole.

[KillerGodMan]

Too late! Species 8472 already took the diameter!

Also, they wont get it back until you bring them... a CAKE!

[Vedra]

Enough jommetry!

[KillerGodMan]

Would you prefer Trig?

Or how about quardatics?

(Math exam friday, all I can think about)

[e of pi]

We just did radical equations and imaginary numbers, and we're doing some stuff with quadratics.

[Chancellor Valium]

Too late! Species 8472 already took the diameter!

Also, they wont get it back until you bring them... a CAKE!

The Federation shall encompass them in our sphere of influence. Sub-species 314159 have already joined.

[e of pi]

What about Species #2.71828182845904523536028747135266249775724709369 995957496696762772407663035354759x10^100?

[Chancellor Valium]

That would screw up our circles.

[KillerGodMan]

Bah! We need triangles!

We need... Species #cos7358129!

[e of pi]

What about sin (<ABC)?

[Xeroc]

Nah, he already was in the chat a while ago. ;)

[Zeke]

Let he who is without sin cos the first tan.

[Anonymous]

My hypothalamus has just melted.

[PointyHairedJedi]

That was me - this connection is a bit wobbly.

[Vedra]

I don't know why I keep bothering to ask this, but what the hell is going on?

[PointyHairedJedi]

It's sort of like when you fall past the event horizon of a black hole - to those inside, it sure as hell seems like stuff is happening, but to an outside observer it looks as though the same moment is frozen. So it is on this board with the math nerds and their awful, terrible puns.

[danieldoof]

hey why would anyone fall past my event horizon huh?

[e of pi]

hey why would anyone fall past my event horizon huh?

Case in point.

[Xeroc]

Not to go off on a secant, but...


It's sort of like when you fall past the event horizon of a black hole - to those inside, it sure as hell seems like stuff is happening, but to an outside observer it looks as though the same moment is frozen. So it is on this board with the math nerds and their awful, terrible puns.
The math puns aren't as bad as...

"Don't Drink and Derive"

"Mathematic puns are the first sin(madness)."

"For a good prime call: 555.793.7319"

"Q: Why did the identity sin(2r) = 2sin(r) get turned down for a loan?
A: Because it needed a cos(r). (co-signer)"


;) :P :D

[KillerGodMan]

Okay, Math exam over...

let's make music puns!

[Chancellor Valium]

Let he who is without sin cos the first tan.

Have you seen the hypoteneuse? He says it's a sin to tell a lie ;)

[KillerGodMan]

REVIVALAGE!

[richardson]

The greatest question of all!

What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?

[mark726]

African or European?

[richardson]

What? Wait, I don't know th-

YEEAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Boom!*

[mark726]

...Did I do that? :shock:

[richardson]

Question:

WHY PIE!?

[e of pi]

WHY NOT!

[richardson]

Why so?

[Lostoyannaya]

In our house the shaker with one hole is the salt and the one with three holes is the pepper. But I believe my mother got them mixed up when she put the ingredients in, and then couldn't be bothered to reverse the process when she learnt of her mistake from my grandma. Man, that was funny to watch! :roll:

~~Lostoyannaya

[KillerGodMan]

I one train leaves Winipeg, Manitoba. at 200 kph and another train leaves Dartmouth Nova Scotia at 150 mph. How long will it be before both trains meet at Smiths Falls, Ontario?

[e of pi]

It will take (Distance between Manitoba and Dartmouth )/350 hours.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

The correct answer is: never. Nobody in their right mind ever goes to Smiths Falls. Unless they want chocolate.

[e of pi]

Dang. Trick question. Okay.

[Chancellor Valium]

Why is a raven like a writing-desk?

[e of pi]

I've seen this before, but I don't know the answer. Does it have to do with Poe?

[Chancellor Valium]

I've seen this before, but I don't know the answer. Does it have to do with Poe?

No. 'Tis from an Auld Caroll, which dodges on the memory ;)

[Burt]

One hole, Salt. Many holes, Pepper.
I look at it this way.
Too much Pepper? Ruin your dinner.
Too much Salt?
Heartattack.

[Chancellor Valium]

Depends how much you define as "too much" ;)