January 25

[Zeke]

Yes, you read that colour code correctly. Today is the first Five-Minute Andromeda update in more than 3 years!


Tarn-Vedra is one of the "youngest" members of the 5M.net community, but since his arrival in summer '04, he's definitely made his presence felt. In particular, he doubled our big-Andromeda-fan population (hi, Arzosah!). So it was no surprise when he asked to write a guest fiver for 5MA. He did, and it was great, but I held it back -- I figured this was the perfect opportunity to start working toward a relaunch of the subsite. Typically, I never got that moving... so Vedra has had to wait over a year to see this published.


Well, no more. For your reading enjoyment, here's "All Great Neptune's Ocean (../andromeda/fiver.php?ep=allgreatneptunesocean)" -- the first of hopefully many fivers from Tarn-Vedra.


(Note on the macro-update, a.k.a. second community present: I swear to God it exists. Current ETA is Friday, since I have something time-sensitive for tomorrow.)

[Vedra]

Aww, shucks. T'weren't nothin'.

[Vedra]

Aww, shucks. T'weren't nothin'.

[Derek]

Dylan: You killed President Lee? Bad idea, Tyr.
Tyr: But I didn't do it, it was the gun!
People don't kill people! Guns kill people!

Holo-Tyr: Die, fishbrain!
Holo-President Lee: Blarg, I am dead!
Tyr: That's your reconstruction? I know how to assassinate people -- I could have done better.
Dylan: Try not to mention that in your trial.
Excellent! That really sounds just like Tyr. Great fiver all around.

I need to five some Andromeda at some point.

[Zeke]

People don't kill people! Guns kill people!

Great minds, eh? (../andromeda/season.php?s=1)

[Vedra]

Oh, Zeke, you got my email wrong. You forgot the numbers.

[e of pi]

Er, consider the count uped by 50%. And it's one of the thirteen episodes I cought on SciFi that had me retching in the toilet at vitle molments of the opening show, such that I missed about the first fifteen minutes! Pardon my L33t, but w00t!

[Xeroc]

Great Fiver! :D

[Vedra]

Thanks, Xeroc, and Derek. I don't understand what you're talking about, e of pi. What count?

[Zeke]

I believe he means the number of DROM fans here. Incidentally, something Vedra knows but the rest of you don't is that I've caught up on Seasons 3 and 4 of DROM in syndication, and I've decided I wrote them off too quickly at the time. There's a lot of good stuff in there. I'll be looking to expand 5MA's content -- we've got three whole seasons we haven't even touched yet.

[Kristina]

All of it... just all of it. Good work, Tarn-Vedra!

I want to see more 5MA, too, so I think it's safe to say up the count by 33 %. Or if I can't be a true fan while enjoying the rest of the series fived here, I suppose something like 15 to 20 %.

[Vedra]

Since nobody cares about it, maybe I can finagle my way into being 5MA site head, then I can write all the fivers I want! Convincing Zeke would be the hard part.

[e of pi]

The annoying poster from Indiana seconds the motion. By parlimentary procedure, the matter is now open to debate.

[Zeke]

Since nobody cares about it, maybe I can finagle my way into being 5MA site head, then I can write all the fivers I want! Convincing Zeke would be the hard part.

Nice try, Ved, but several times now we've talked about you doing more fivers, and every time I'm all for it. You've had a loooong time to write "all the fivers you want." This is one you can't pin on me. :)

As for the section head idea, I've wondered before if we might get to that point eventually. You'd need more experience first, though. And the standard section head "portfolio" (one fiver from each season).

[Vedra]

I didn't write anymore fivers because you waited OVER A YEAR to post my first one. That kind of put a damper on my desire to do more. Now that you finally got it up, I wanna do more.

[Vedra]

And I missed your IM, but I do still want to do CSI fivers.

[e of pi]

Hmmm. Motion to table indefinately?

[Vedra]

No, I'm sure Zeke and I will discuss this more.

[SCMoll]

I'm an Andromeda fan too! Well, of the first 1.5 seasons.

I enjoyed the fiver, especially:
Beka: It's pink.
Rommie: Exactly.
Beka: And has a triangle pattern.
Rommie: Uh huh.
Beka: Are you implying something?
Rommie: Why, of course not! Ooh, do you like plaid?
and
Evil Chancellor: It is with great sadness that I accept the position as president of Castalia. I hope the tragic death of my predecessor will not bring an attack on the Andromeda Ascendant, which just happens to be stationed at the following coordinates....
:lol: (The lol smilie looks like he has a facial tic.)

[SCMoll]

I'm an Andromeda fan too! Well, of the first 1.5 seasons.

I enjoyed the fiver, especially:
Beka: It's pink.
Rommie: Exactly.
Beka: And has a triangle pattern.
Rommie: Uh huh.
Beka: Are you implying something?
Rommie: Why, of course not! Ooh, do you like plaid?
and
Evil Chancellor: It is with great sadness that I accept the position as president of Castalia. I hope the tragic death of my predecessor will not bring an attack on the Andromeda Ascendant, which just happens to be stationed at the following coordinates....
:lol: (The lol smilie looks like he has a facial tic.)

[evay]

Now that you finally got it up, I wanna do more.
Oh, way to put pressure on the poor guy. Keep up the nagging and you'll drive him to 5MViagra just to satisfy you.

[e of pi]

Ummm, I'll pretend I didn't read that...

[Vedra]

Eww. So will I. And thanks again for the praise, guys. I do appreciate it.

[Zeke]

Oh, way to put pressure on the poor guy. Keep up the nagging and you'll drive him to 5MViagra just to satisfy you.

...

Now, I'm not saying I could have resisted, in your place.

But GEEZ.

[evay]

(sigh) Sorry. It was such a perfect double-entendre that I forgot that the community has voted that my humor is a little too adult for this forum. I'll remember to keep it reined in for the future.

[Zeke]

Arrrrgh.

First of all, you misread the tone of my post. I think your comment was hilarious, and as I said, I'd have made exactly the same one. (If you think I shy away from sexual humour, I can point you to plenty of fivers that demonstrate otherwise. Take the Voyager Week Easter (../features/caretaxxxeregg.php) eggs (../voyager/miabegg.php)....) It's a little different when somebody slashes you personally, however. I don't think you can blame me or Vedra for ewwwing.

Second, the community didn't "vote" on anything. When it comes to opinions, there is no "the community." We have a wide range of tastes here. I've never made rules about how PG-13 you can and can't be at this forum, and I'm not going to. But there's a corollary: I don't tell anyone how to react to your posts either. Don't do the slash if you can't pay the cash.

No one at this forum is being persecuted. I wish people would quit assuming they are.

[Derek]

Help, help, I'm being repressed!

For the record, my response to evay's joke is similar to Zeke's. If I'd've seen it, I might've said it too. And 5MViagra is hilarious in its own right.

[evay]

First of all, you misread the tone of my post.
Then perhaps a few words beyond "geez" would have helped me understand? :) I still haven't a clue what that was supposed to convey. Shock? Surprise? Admiration?

It's a little different when somebody slashes you personally, however. I don't think you can blame me or Vedra for ewwwing.
I actually don't know Tarn's gender, so if you consider that slash, it was unintentional. But no, of course, everyone is entitled to ewww if they like.

Second, the community didn't "vote" on anything. When it comes to opinions, there is no "the community."
*shrug* the last time this happened, there were also three or four ewwws in a row. Does that not qualify as "community reaction"? That's not a rhetorical question. I'm reacting to those who post. If I make an adult joke and I get a bunch of "ew gross!" rather than laughter, it means my joke isn't appreciated. I'm not demanding that it should be. I'm just observing out loud that I have to remember that the people who bother to post in reaction are the ones who don't care for the joke.

No one at this forum is being persecuted. I wish people would quit assuming they are.
:lol: I spent many years IRL being genuinely persecuted. This ain't it. I know the difference. No worries.


And I'm glad somebody got "5MViagra"...

[danieldoof]

Arrrrgh.

I can point you to plenty of fivers that demonstrate otherwise. Take the Voyager Week Easter (../features/caretaxxxeregg.php) eggs (../voyager/miabegg.php)....)



erm BWAHAHAHAHAAAA where have I been when those where online??

I have never seen those
guess I didnt find the eggs huh?

are there other fiver-parts like that?
please tell me..

edith...and btw there comes "A dsokdpach!" from?
nice :wink:

And I'm glad somebody got "5MViagra"...
and keep up with those adult jokes :wink:

[Chancellor Valium]

When have people been persecuted on this forum? This is the most un-persecutey forum I know!

[Vedra]

Forget I said anything bad here.

[e of pi]

No, the motion was tabled by a vote of 2 to 0, with 192 members abstaining.

[Zeke]

Threads go off-topic here, Ved -- better get used to it if you're gonna keep writing fivers. (And can the politics.)

*shrug* the last time this happened, there were also three or four ewwws in a row. Does that not qualify as "community reaction"? That's not a rhetorical question.

Then quite simply, no. Online communities don't work anything like offline ones. Members will come or go, post or not post, with no regularity whatsoever. Some of my best fivers have gotten some of the least feedback. I've had to train myself not to read too much into who does and doesn't reply to something. (If TH had a forum, I'm sure you would have developed the same survival skill by now.)

You can make a joke on day Y and get a completely different set of replies from when you made the same joke on day X. If you had made your post in Misc, some people would have read it who didn't read it here, and vice versa. Other factors are context, people's moods, time of day, Zodiac sign... I'm not saying you can't generalize about anything in an online community, but it's much less reliable than in face-to-face chatting.

To make my point with an example....

I'm just observing out loud that I have to remember that the people who bother to post in reaction are the ones who don't care for the joke.

You're really selling us short here. Many times I've made an update I was really proud of, only to get a news thread full of "this line break is wrong" and no feedback at all. That's a rotten feeling, but am I supposed to just give up?

You've made plenty of funny posts here, of which two didn't go over as well as you hoped. The lesson is -- nothing. Come to me with ten or twenty data points and maybe we'll talk about patterns. In the meantime, give us enough credit not to assume the worst.

I don't know how I can make it any clearer than I have that I'm delighted to have you in this community. That lies behind everything I post, so don't forget it's there. That goes for all of you.

And I'm glad somebody got "5MViagra"...

This is the fallacy of "nobody commented on it -> nobody got it." I too have been guilty of this before. It ain't so.

(And not to be rude, but what's not to get? It's "5MViagra." Funny, yep; subtle, no.)

danieldoof: We've had four Easter eggs so far. One was in the Election '04 event, two were in the VW conclusion, and one was in the CW conclusion. (Actually, that was one of the two I linked, so I was wrong in my post above.) The history of "dsokdpach" may be had for the low, low price of this thread (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=31796).

e of pi: Very well put.

Valium: You'd think.

[Scooter]

Online forums can always be counted on to take things too seriously and too frivolously at the same time.

By the way TV ... great fiver.

[Vedra]

That wasn't political, Zeke, it was just a joke. You know, Bush Sr. said something like that, or at least an SNL skit did, and that's what I was referencing. If I had said "whiny Liberal", you would've laughed or something, because it's "okay" to pick on us. I was just making a joke, you made it political.

[Chancellor Valium]

No, the motion was tabled by a vote of 2 to 0, with 192 members abstaining.

Motion carried!

[Scooter]

I was just making a joke, you made it political.I think what Zeke meant (as I found out recently myself) is that politics in general should be avoided in the forums, regardless of affiliation, because they open up emotional debates that have in the past created great problems and that have little to do with 5M.net. No matter what kind of political comment one makes, embedded in a joke or not, someone will bristle. Enough misunderstood jokes and offhand comments are bristled at in this forum (as this thread has proved!) that do relate to 5M.net that I think the idea is broaching anything political regardless of the place of the spectrum is not a good idea. For that reason, Zeke, who is very protective of his site and rightly so, is understandably sensitive to tangents in this direction.

[Vedra]

I made a stupid joke. If someone can't be adult enough to laugh and move on, then don't say anything at all.

[Zeke]

Scooter is right. Moreover, he shouldn't have had to tell you that, because you and I have talked about it just recently. Let me remind you in case you've forgotten: I have LOST FRIENDS for bringing up politics here. I started a civil political discussion thread with warning signs you could see a mile off -- and there's still at least one person who hasn't forgiven me for that crime.

I'm never letting that happen again. Politics are irrelevant to why we're all here, so we are staying the hell off the subject. No exceptions. The more popular side does not get sniping privileges.

I know your comment was meant harmlessly. Now that you're aware of the policy, just keep it in mind and we'll be fine.

However....

If I had said "whiny Liberal", you would've laughed or something, because it's "okay" to pick on us. I was just making a joke, you made it political.

I want an unconditional apology for this. Now. You know damn well I'm not a hypocrite, and you will not slander me at my forum.

[Vedra]

I'm sorry.

[Vedra]

And I edited the message, I hope it makes everybody feel better.

[Zeke]

Thanks, Vedra. I'm sorry I got so mad, but this thread had already veered into unpleasant territory, and I wanted it back out as soon as possible. You're absolutely right that this is your thread -- next time I see this happening, I'll divert the off-topic stuff into the Talk forum.

By the way, I mentioned your interest in fiving CSI to Christian. He's delighted at the prospect.

[Vedra]

*sigh* Well, this sure has been an enjoyable response to my first fiver.

[evay]

Okay, Z, you've made excellent points and I promise to try to remember them. In fact, I'm going to save your post and keep it on a Mac Sticky to reference it easily.

I'm sorry, Tarn -- I never watched Andromeda or I would have said something nice about your fiver first.

[Vedra]

It doesn't matter, evay.