January 28

[Zeke]

Smallville's 100th episode, "Reckoning," has passed -- taking a much-loved character with it -- and so has Derek's fiver (../smallville/fiver.php?ep=reckoning). But that's not all. Considering the significance of these events, I felt they merited a little something extra. I really wanted to get this out before the episode aired, but better late than never. Here's TJI #46: Smallville to kill Lois Lane (../thisjustin/46.html).


Don't touch that dial -- because tomorrow, THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY.

[Derek]

Great TJI, though I think I seriously heard some people wanting Lois to die. There have been a lot of Clark/Chloe 'shippers since the series started, and many of them want/hope that Chloe will grow up into Lois Lane (i.e., something will happen that will cause her to hide her identity and assume another one). The producers have constantly tried to refute this speculation by a) mentioning that Lois is actually Chloe's cousin and b) bringing Lois on the show itself, but there are still some people who hold to that theory.

Durance: "Al hinted that they may ask me back next season for a story where four new Loises show up, each claiming to be the real one."

Hatcher: "With the kind of work I've had lately, I'm desperate."
Great quotes.

Five-Minute Smallville head writer Derek Dean simply gave a long-suffering sigh.
Which is my typical response to almost anything Smallville-related.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

And we have so many Lexes running around, we had to publish a Lexicon to help readers keep track."

Boooo! Booooo! *throws tomatoes*

[Vedra]

I can safely say Sa'ar didn't care for that pun.

[Anonymous]

Ms. Durance seemed amused rather than offended, replying, "Oh, those old Lois actors. They're such kidders."
Ouch.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

And now to comment on the fiver.

Lana: You wanted to see me?
Clark: Yes. I want to show you my secret. Here.
Lana: Clark, that's your deodorant.
Clark: Read the label.
Lana: "Strong enough for a superman, pH-balanced for an alien."

*snicker*

Jor-El: You rang?
Clark: Yeah, don't take Lana's life, jerk!
Jor-El: Do I look like I care? Besides, I don't want her for a daughter-in-law.
Clark: Bring her back to life! PLEASE? PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE?
Jor-El: Gah! Are you five? Okay, okay, I'll do a temporal fold if it'll shut you up.
Clark: (Heh. That always works on parents.)

Is that more comlicated or less complicated than simply flying around the planet until it spins backwards?

Clark: I feel guilty. Fate seems to have taken dad's life in exchange for Lana's.
Ma Kent: Oh, Clark. You shouldn't feel guilty about that. What you should feel guilty about is the way you didn't even try going to Jor-El and asking for your dad's life back.

"Pa always told me that with great power comes great responsibility. Responsible people don't run away and get someone else to fix their problems. Pa would have wanted it this way."

Nice fiver.

[Derek]

Is that more comlicated or less complicated than simply flying around the planet until it spins backwards?
Yeah, sadly the episode actually made that joke for me, so I couldn't use it in the fiver. Oh well, I'd already used it in "Pariah" (http://www.fiveminute.net/smallville/fiver.php?ep=pariah).

[Chancellor Valium]

Heheheh. I don't watch Smallville, but nice TJI.

Seriously, do people think of all the series/films as a continuous story? Despite contradictions, different appearances etc? Wow.

[Zeke]

No, but there are limits. A show whose entire purpose is to show Superman's teenage years can't do something that would change everything we know about his adult life, like killing Lois. (Some of us think they already crossed the line by having him meet her this early.)

Jonathan is another story -- and in my opinion, a fascinating one. See, until the Crisis, there were two major time periods where Superman stories took place: his youth in Smallville and his adulthood in Metropolis. It had been established in the very first Superman issue that Clark's parents were dead, so they could only appear in Superboy stories. The death of Jonathan came to be treated as an important turning point in Clark's life -- the moment he realized that for all his power, he couldn't always save those he loved. (Anyone who saw Superman: The Movie will remember this.)

Then in 1985, DC decided to rework Superman to keep the character fresh. John Byrne, one of my all-time favourite comics writers, got the job. The biggest change he made was to eliminate the Superboy period entirely. Clark didn't wear a costume till he was an adult, he didn't meet Lex in Smallville -- and his parents were still around. The latter is the one Byrne change that almost everyone agrees was for the better, because Jonathan and Martha have proven to be valuable supporting characters ever since. Lois & Clark was based on the new Superman backstory, so it had Clark's parents on the cast.

But Smallville's a whole other deal. With one exception -- Clark's lack of a costume -- it took its cue from the old Superboy stories and the movie. Thus Lex was Clark's friend (and bald), an element the show would never have succeeded without. And with those influences, especially the movie, it was inevitable in hindsight that Jonathan Kent would die.

There's an interesting capper to this: the success of Smallville eventually convinced DC to change things around again. They recruited another of my all-time favourite writers, Mark Waid, to do a new official origin combining elements of both its predecessors. So in the comics, Clark and Lex did meet as kids... now. Again. After all.

The past is the future, the future is the past... it all just gives me a headache.

[PointyHairedJedi]

And this is why I don't read any comics, with the exception of 2000AD, which, unlike most others, doesn't suck.

[Chancellor Valium]

You still read those? I remember collecting those...Gad, even the mention brings me back to half-completed Judge Dredd stories :D

[PointyHairedJedi]

Dredd is still my favourite by a long way, but I must profess a prediliction for the ABC Warriors and Devlin Waugh as well.

[SCMoll]

Ms. Durance seemed amused rather than offended, replying, "Oh, those old Lois actors. They're such kidders."
Ouch.
This was me. Apparently I wasn't logged in.

Personally, I prefer the Byrne Man of Steel origin for Superman... Not that I've ever watched Smallville, though.

[mudshark]

Lana: You wanted to see me?
Clark: Yes. I want to show you my secret. Here.
Lana: Clark, that's your deodorant. :snerk:

Ms. Durance seemed amused rather than offended, replying, "Oh, those old Lois actors. They're such kidders." :snicker:

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Ms. Durance seemed amused rather than offended, replying, "Oh, those old Lois actors. They're such kidders."

*headdesk* I just got that. You'd think by this point I'd have learned to read Zeke's stuff carefully. Stealth puns are lethal.

[Ginga]

Zeke! Zeke! Do another TJI, because then it'll be the 47th one. :3

[Zeke]

Funny you should say that, FG....

[Ginga]

Funny you should say that, FG....

*grins in anticipation* :D

[Anonymous]

*Smile knowingly*

[e of pi]

Sorry, I was logged out automatically.

[Zeke]

How exactly are you smiling knowingly, e?

[KillerGodMan]

In response to claims that Lois's death would make the timeline problem worse, the producers said they didn't see how.

TJI UPDATE:
When it was revealed to the producers that killing Lois would affect the timeline of the entire Superman story they responded with: "Oh... well that IS a problem, oh well, if Lois remains alive, that would be continuity, and we can't have THAT, now can we?

[e of pi]

I saw the staff chat before X wiped it. I'm assuming that the big 47 will be during the *CENSORED*?

[Zeke]

You know what happens when you assume.

[e of pi]

Ah. Well, then I'll just wait.

[KillerGodMan]

Good plan, because... ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!

[PointyHairedJedi]

ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!
In the next half-hour?

"Marineville, action-stations!"

[Chancellor Valium]

ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!
In the next half-hour?

"Marineville, action-stations!"

*all the buildings begin to sink*

>_>
<_<

AAAAH! Subsidence!

[Vedra]

I've never watched Smallville...should I start?

[Derek]

I've never watched Smallville...should I start?
Good question. Let me start by asking you a few questions.
Are you a fan of the Superman mythos, from the Golden Age until now? Do you enjoy a show that has lots of action and intrigue? Do you like watching shows that have complex and nuanced characters who undergo a lot of development? Do you enjoy shows that feature a racially diverse cast? Do you like it when a show accurately depicts and deals with the consequences of its settings (farmers actually farming, students actually going to school, etc)? Do you try to avoid shows that make you dumber just watching them?If you answered yes to any of these, then for the love of all that is holy and good don't watch Smallville!


(Okay, okay, it's not that bad.)

Edit: Unless, of course, you want to watch Smallville so you can appreciate my fivers. Then you definitely should.

[Zeke]

If you answered yes to any of these, then for the love of all that is holy and good don't watch Smallville!

You know our philosophy of mocking because we love? Occasionally I wonder if Derek's heart is really in it.

[PointyHairedJedi]

I actually saw my first episode of Smallville the other day - as far as I can tell, about the only thing that's really good about it is just how mockable it is. :D

[e of pi]

[quote=Tarn-Vedra]I've never watched Smallville...should I start?
Good question. Let me start by asking you a few questions.
Are you a fan of the Superman mythos, from the Golden Age until now? Do you enjoy a show that has lots of action and intrigue? Do you like watching shows that have complex and nuanced characters who undergo a lot of development? Do you enjoy shows that feature a racially diverse cast? Do you like it when a show accurately depicts and deals with the consequences of its settings (farmers actually farming, students actually going to school, etc)? Do you try to avoid shows that make you dumber just watching them?If you answered yes to any of these, then for the love of all that is holy and good don't watch Smallville!

Let's see, hmmm. No, yes, yes, sometimes, yes (for example, I only watched parts of the State of the Union address).

Still, the fivers are fun to read. And since there's no new Ardromeda or any fivers of Battlestar Galactica at all, It'll have to do.

[Scooter]

or any fivers of Battlestar Galactica at all, It'll have to do.
What's up with that, anyway?

[ijdgaf]

:wink:

[Zeke]

We have an original BSG fiver and both a fiver and comic fiver of the '03 miniseries. In what sense do we have no BSG fivers at all?

[Scooter]

I think e meant fivers of the new series.

[ijdgaf]

The mini series *is* the new series.

But seriously. :wink:

:wink:, damn you!

[Scooter]

The mini series *is* the new series.

But seriously. :wink:

:wink:, damn you!
I know that. But it also isn't, right? Mini-series and series are different things, right? Remember V?

And stop winking at me, I don't date people I meet online. Usually.

[e of pi]

Ummm, I can't find the BSG fivers. The TV page won't load, and they aren't on the main page.

[ijdgaf]

The Gun on Ice Planet Zero (TOS) (http://www.fiveminute.net/scifivers/thegunoniceplanetzero.html)

The Miniseries (http://www.fiveminute.net/movies/battlestargalactica.html)

The Miniseries comic (http://www.fiveminute.net/bsg/comic.php?ep=battlestargalactica&page=1)

[Opium]

And this is why I don't read any comics, with the exception of 2000AD, which, unlike most others, doesn't suck.

It's Calvin and Hobbes for me. Yah, I know. It's not really a traditional comic. Yah, I know. It's not about superpowers. Yah, I don't care. It was the best comic EVER. :D

With the kind of work I've had lately, I'm desperate."
* :P *

Hey, how about a Deperate Housewives fiver? :roll:

[e of pi]

Don't know about C&H. Far Side and Dilbert give it a run for its money.

[Anonymous]

Dilbert, for the last year or so... not so much. But talking about that sort of comic, yes, The Far Side still reigns supreme. That isn't to say that Bob the Angry Flower hasn't planted several pounds of semtex under the throne, of course...