February 18

[Zeke]

Welcome to Day 3, or the Big Three, if you will. Today we have....
<ul> Five-Minute "The Naked Time (../startrek/fiver.php?ep=thenakedtime)," by Derek;
Five-Minute "Patterns of Force (../startrek/fiver.php?ep=patternsofforce)," by Kristina;
Five-Minute "The Paradise Syndrome (../startrek/fiver.php?ep=theparadisesyndrome)," also by Kristina;
Minutemen, Part 3: "Super Minutemen Bros." (../features/minutemen3.php), by Derek;
and Scooter's first and weirdest TJI, TOS subsite holds Everything-Must-Go blowout sale (../thisjustin/48.html).[/list]

[e of pi]

Sulu: Ha ha! With my blade, I'm just like one of the three musketeers. Like Aramis, or Athos, or... or...
Crewman: Porthos?
Sulu: No thanks. I already ate.

Heh. Niiiiice.

[Derek]

Kirk finally sneaks some nudity past the censors by hiding it in the title.
Nice blurb, Zeke. So are the other two.

Kirk: Hello-o-o, token blonde. It's a pity I don't go for women in uniform.
Heh. Especially since I had a helloooo joke in my fiver too.

Spock: I know where John is -- over in Wilke's Booth, drugged.
I suspect an assassination attempt.

Nice fiver, Kristina.

First Officer's Log: We have yet to find the Captain, and my having done away with emotions makes it impossible to cry out for joy.
Curses, foiled again.

Double Duh Mass....
Nice joke, but are you calling Kirk fat?

Another nice fiver, Kristina.

And great TJI, Scooter.

[Nate the Great]

"The showgirl triplets who bought Five-Minute DS9 at auction a couple years ago are especially worried, because they've got one guy who's writing like 10 fivers a day," Sid explained. "I told them they should just rub him out, but they were kinda put off by that."

Hey, is that me? That's very cool and very nice of you if it is.

Current tally:
In progress: Three.
Awaiting review: Eight.
Awaiting publication: Seven.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Sulu: I'm taking up fencing because it goes so well with my rapier wit.
Riley: You already know I don't care about fencing. You just want me to act as a foil.
Sulu: Touché.

*twitch*

Sulu: I'm bored at work.
Riley: You could try writing a parody.
Sulu: Nah. What kind of losers would do that?

Hah!

Spock: You lost Sulu? I don't see...? You know what -- I don't care. Let's move on.
Riley: But I'm Irish!
Spock: ....Excellent point. Why don't you go to Sickbay?

Buh?

Spock: Cold start the engines.... now!
Planet: CRACK!
....dniweR :esirpretnE
Kirk: What's happening? Is it more magic?
Spock: Yes. If you knew the deeper magic, you'd know that when the planet cracked, time itself would start working backwards.

Impressive reference. Sir, I stand in awe.

Spock: We have travelled three days into the past.
Kirk: Then we'll make great time to our next destination. Set a course!
Spock: Shouldn't we maybe go back to the planet and save those scientists?
Kirk: Nahhh....

That's a good point, actually.

Ekosian: Tell me all you know and I'll report to Chairman Yrrebneddor.
Kirk: Wasn't his name Eneg? Oh, the pain!
Chairman Eneg: I detest being greeted in such a fashion. Whip him a bit more.
Kirk: As long as I can step on your corns, I'll grin and bear it.

Someone ordered a Nazi Cross?

Kirk: We need to get through to John Gill. Spock, any ideas?
Spock: Captain, remember.... Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer?
Kirk: Sure -- yes.... Ja. Beierhund das oder die Flipperwald gesprut!
Guards: HAHAHAH-- GAK!

ROFL! Well played.

McCoy: But the captain is missing! Do we consult a spirit guide or what?
Spock: I am certain Mr Scott will be happy to talk about whisky once our mission is accomplished.

*znerk*

McCoy: Scotty says repairs will take forever.
Spock: Set a course for the planet on impulse power.
McCoy: That will take months.
Spock: I have more exact calculations, but I will spare you the details.

First time I've ever heard him say that.

Good work, both of you.

[Chancellor Valium]

Given your signature, I suppose I should have expected this, huh:
Kirk: What's happening? Is it more magic?
Spock: Yes. If you knew the deeper magic, you'd know that when the planet cracked, time itself would start working backwards.


Even so, breathing is going to be painful for the next few weeks.

Thanks a bunch, Derek.

:P

Seriously, great fiver!

[evay]

Sulu: Ha ha! With my blade, I'm just like one of the three musketeers. Like Aramis, or Athos, or... or...
Crewman: Porthos?
Sulu: No thanks. I already ate.
:lol: ::happy dance:: (I suppose "Snoopy dance" would be rude)

Sulu: Hey, my head's clearing! What was in that hypo, Doc?
McCoy: A bezoar.
Sulu: Thank goodness for 23rd century medicine!
Ooh, a Harry Potter reference! Nice!

McCoy: No one has heard of him for six months. Does that make him Gill Sans?
BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA font jokes! you slay me!

Kirk: Gentlemen, don't mention the war.
Fawlty Towers?

Sa'ar: Bje bje, Bjo.
That's a handy way to remember how to say her name.

[Scooter]

Evay stole all my quotes! And the rest of you stole the rest of my quotes!

...

Well, it's all still funny, but sheesh. :)

[e of pi]

Go figure. Post sooner, or just repost them.

[Opium]

As I am in the process of moving, I haven't had time to read many fivers, but the TJI was great :)

We got a call in from some guy, said he was affiliated with something called, I dunno, Boston something. Wanted to buy all our Kirk stuff.
:lol:

[Scooter]

Shit, I just noticed the copyright notice on my TJI. Reaction: Heh. :)