You do, but it's that kind of little South American fish that burrows up your uretha and starts eating your insides. (True Story, man)

I wish I was taken away to wizard school at age 11, just like in Harry Potter.

You are taken to Wizarding School, but it's run by Kathy Lee Gifford. :twisted:


I wish that Book-canon Snape was as cool as Movie-Canon Snape.

He is, but he's played by Anthony Ainley.

I wish someone else had script edited the new series of DW to make it more dramatic.

They did, but they weren't used!


I wish I could invent the new internet.

You do, but it's just like the old internet, in that's it's nothing but porno and Star Trek sites.

I wish I had some pie right now.

It's lead pie.


I wish I had more money than is possible to spend.

Mo' money, mo' problems.

I wish 'The Man' would stop keeping me down.

He does, but then "They" start keeping you down.

You think of a wish, and that wish is that you wish you weren't depressed. You're Marvin.


I wish people would stop whinging about me bcos I'm keeping them down. I mean, I'm the man! It's my job!

They do stop whining, but it's only because you have been overhtrown as 'The Man', and now spend your days crawling around on the street, begging for bread. 'The Man' is now Corey Feldman.

I wish I didn't have that Chinese food last night.

You don't have Chinese food. Instead, you call Opium a "he" in person and face the Wrath of Opium. :twisted:

(although someone would have to be very blind and deaf to not realize I am female in person...I mean, seriously. Online it is harder, because, hey, I have an androgynous screenname and an avvy of some dude in a top hat)


I wish I hadn't painted my bathroom today. Such a headach!

Your bathroom is upset at the lack of attention and retaliates by painting YOU. :twisted:



I wish that more people were in chat right now.

They are, but you aren't!


I wish to wash wishy-washy wash while I'm washing wishes.
(Say that 5 times fast!)

You sprain your tongue sayng that, and can not talk for two weeks.


I wish I liked my birthdays.

You do, but then you never ever have any very merry UN-birthdays, and there are so very many more of them.

I wish Quentin Tarantino would be allowed to do the next Star Trek flick.

He does, but due to extremem violence, only those over 90 can watch....

Not wishing anything won't work, you are still doomed with much doomity-doom-doom.

I wish the dodo wasn't extinct.

They run over the world!


I wish for a very functional and nice spaceship.

You get it, except it's the NX-01, your the enginneer, it's 2161, and some blue guy and his kid just came on board....so you about to die, my brother.

I wish Captain Jack Sparrow would come and kidnap me away.

He does, but he then sees me, falls in love, and drops you off at the nearest pirate bar. :twisted:


I wish Orlanda Bloom would be in a play with me.