Block 30 - Now get up
 

The Agents confirm that Neo is dead. Morpheus is still too shell-shocked to fire the EMP, but Trinity is strangely calm. She talks to Neo, finally telling him what the Oracle said to her: that she would fall in love with the One. And so Neo can't be dead, she tells him, because she loves him. She proves it with a kiss --

-- and like Snow White, Neo comes back to life. Tank and Morpheus watch in amazement as Neo's monitors start humming again. "Now get up," Trinity whispers.

In the Matrix, Neo does just that. The Agents are already leaving, but Smith hears him and turns, only to stare in disbelief at the dead man walking. All three open fire, and Neo could dodge the bullets, but now he doesn't have to. He raises a hand and they freeze; he lowers it and they drop to the floor. Smith tries the direct approach next, and Neo smacks him back with one hand, sending him flying backwards. As if that weren't enough, Neo dives into Smith and explodes him from inside. (This bit should be handled by someone who's seen Reloaded, as it's ripe for foreshadowing.) He re-forms and faces Brown and Jones; they exchange a look and run for it.

Neo stands for a moment savouring his victory, but the ringing phone snaps him out of it. He picks it up and awakens on the ship. Morpheus immediately fires the EMP, and not a second too soon, because the Sentinels have just burst into the inhabited rooms. The pulse pulses and the machines drop to the floor. The crisis finally past, Neo and Trinity have their first both-alive kiss.

This block will take three scenes at least; four or even five would not be a tragedy. Final synopsis here and here.

"Final?" you ask. "Doesn't Neo have a monologue and then fly off?" Yes, he does, and I've decided I'm going to do it myself. I'll also do a scene for the Trinity/Cypher voice-only conversation at the very start to bookend the fiver. But in between, it's all you. If anyone is really bothered by this idea, I'll reconsider, but it's something I'd like to do.

Sentinels: FRAZZA FRAZZA FRAZZA
Tank: Well, that's it, we're screwed. Last words, everyone.
Morpheus: I hate the Oracle, and her cookies hurt my teeth.
Trinity: I love you, Neo.
Tank: We few, we happy few, we band of buggered.

Smith: Ha! It is I, Agent Smith, who shall reign supreme. Today, the One. Tomorrow, the entire Matrix!
Neo: No, you don't.
Smith: Quick! Shoot him with implausibly slow bullets!
Neo: No, you don't.
Smith: Woah. Wait, I'm acting like Neo. Kill me now!
Neo: Happy to oblige.
Smith: GAK!
Neo: There, better?
Smith: Meh, I'm split.

Morpheus: Real nice, loverboy. Now GET BACK HERE!
Sentinels: FRAZZA FRAZZA FRAZZA
Morpheus: Well, here goes nothing.
EMP: SMITE!
Sentinels: GAK!
Trinity: Hey, who's feeling up my...oh my God. You're alive, Neo!
Neo: Yes, and I must say that's a nice - *SLAP* - okay, I deserved that.

Gatac

Here are some ideas to get us started

Neo: Ah, lets see what is behind door number 303.
Agent Smith: Sorry, wrong door.

Agent Smith: Bang Bang
Neo: Hmmm, that didn't even hurt.
Agent Smith: Bang Bang Bang
Neo: That hurt.

Agent Smith: Check him
Agent Brown: I'm an agent, not a doctor.

*Neo dies*
Agents: Neo is dead, so lets go get a pizza.
Sentinals: Yummy Ship
Tank and Morpheus: Rats, we are screwed.
Trinity: I love you Neo.
*Neo Gets Back Up*
Agents: Huh?
Sentinals: Huh?
Tank and Morpheus: Huh?
Trinity: What? Love is the cure for the common dead.
Everyone: Oh!

Agent Smith: Dude, I feel funny.
*Agent Smith blows up, Neo appears*
Neo: Who's Next?
Agents (While wondering which way to run): Uhhh, we got to go now!
Neo: That will show you who is boss!
Trinity: NEO!
Neo: Coming dear!

Trinity kissing Neo "back to life", as it were, seems to be what I'm keying in on right now. Too late at night for me to think of anything much, but a reference to either a fairy tale or a D&Dish theme might work wonders there.


Rough sketch:

Neo: GAK!
Trinity: *kiss*
Neo: UNGAK!
Morpheus: Whoa, how'd he DO that? That proves he's gotta be the One!
Trinity: Wha...? Oh, no, he didn't just resurrect himself. It's me who has the Level 10 in Spirit Magic, you know.




Also:

Neo: Have you heard of the movie "Alien", Agent Smith? The aliens--
Agent Smith: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. They tear out from within unfortunate crewmembers who promptly go--GAK!
Agent Jones: Awww man, did you HAVE to do that? We were gonna hold a surprise retirement party for him just three days from now...

MORPHEUS: Well, looks like Neo's dead.
TRINITY: Really? That's kinda hot. *kisses Neo's corpse*
NEO: UNGAK!
MORPHEUS: Horray! Neo's alive again!
TRINITY: You mean, I just kissed an alive person? Ick! I need a toothbrush. . .

what about something tying in with a running gag about IRC? With block 28 with morpheus's and trinity's connections getting reset, and this time, it goes like this.

Neo: (Mode +oosupereme #thematrix) UNGAK! Oooh... operator power in the palm of my hand.
Smith: Crap.
Neo: boot time.
Smith: FMOOMB!
Agents: RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!

Agents: No way, Neo is alive. It's Bullet Time!
Bullets: Woo hoo, we are going to get ya!
Neo: No...I command you all to stop to think about what you are doing.
Bullets: Yes Master. Obey, we must.
Neo: Hmmm, Yoda Bullets

Operator: Collect call from Neo for Agents Inc. Would you like me to put him through?
Agent: Sure
Neo: Hey, I just want to let you know that im coming for you. *Hangs Up and flies off*
Kid: Look, it's Superman!

or

Neo (On phone): When I hang up this phone, not only will you be billed for this phone call, but I will fly over there and give you a whooping. For I am Superman!
Agent #1: I thought you were Ted?
Neo: Not anymore. *Hangs up*
Agent #1: Do we have any Kryptonite?
Agent #2: No
Agent #1: Crap

zeke's doing the end narrative, sorry.

Oops, my bad

*Neo gets up*
Agent Smith: No way! Bullet Time!
Neo: Boo!
Bullets: AHHH!
Agent Smith: That's it, let me have him.
Neo: Boo!
*Agent Smith blows up*
Neo: You are making me angry
Agents: Uh oh, he is turning green. Run!


Just for fun:
Neo: I am here to tell you that there will now be more movies, 2 more to be exact, but they will suck for you, because I will kick your butt.
Agents: Mommy!

that's actually very similar to how the original script ended. Neo flies off and some kid points into the air and says "Look mommy, a man is flying" or somethin like that.

(inspired by Neo's Yoda bit ;))


Neo: I'm not the Neo you're looking for.
Bullets: You're not the Neo we're looking for? Where did he go, then?
Neo: He left already.
Bullets: Well, phooey.

nah, I think it would be funnier to continue up on a possible IRC gag and have some kind of dialouge that says neo gets operator/channel owner powers. And demotes the agents.

[insert previous block here]


Neo: Un-GAK!
Everyone: GASP!

Neo: I understand now...
Agents: You understand what, that you're the One?
Bullets: ZIN--
Neo: No, what Morpheus meant about having the most dangerous weapons around. *holds up a copy of Speed to the bullets* Hey, wanna watch this?
Bullets: AHHH! Run away, run away!



-- or --



Sentinels: Here we come...
Morpheus: Oh no. I really hoped it wouldn't come to this, folks, but I'm going to have to--
Trinity: Nooooo! Don't turn on the EMP, Neo is alive! I just know it!
Morpheus: Who said anything about turning on the EMP? Now let me concentrate...Up, Down, Right, Right, Down, Select, aaaand...
Neo: Un-GAK!
Trinity: Morpheus, I didn't know you knew the code for a 1-Up.
Morpheus: Much good it'll do Neo if I can't enter the Invincibility code quick enough.


[edit] I just realized that "1-Up" bit is vaguely a pun :shock: :mrgreen:

The simon says thing is kinda getting cliched, but...

Bullets: Weeee
Neo: Neo says stop and fall to the ground
Bullets: Ok

Smith: Uh-oh, please don't make me explode...
Neo: You didn't say "Smith says"...
Smith: I KNEW I shoulda practiced Simon says more often... GAK!

Neo: [blah blah blah]
Agent Smith: GASP! This is too stunning for me to absorb!
Neo: Here, let me help you.
Agent Smith: GAK!
Agent Brown: I do not know about you, but I am going to scream and run.
Agent Jones: *nods*
Agents Brown and Jones: YAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Alternate line

Agent Brown: Dammit Smith! I'm an agent, not a doctor!

Agent Smith: Check Him
Agent Brown: He is so dead
*Neo gets up*
Agent Smith: No way!
Agent Brown: April Fools, I put blanks in your gun this morning
*Agent Smith clones Agent Brown into himself*
Neo: I think I will go now

hehehe

Question: Are you guys waiting for me or for each other in these threads?

Each other and ourselves, definitely. There are still lots of good jokes we haven't touched on yet, I can feel it.

(Also, I'm rather waiting for trips and semester finals to be over before I really focus on something like this. I don't know about anyone else.)

^Same here

Hey, my post count says 912, that's the date I signed up (september 12) cool!

I promise to give the last four blocks another round in the next two or three days. Really-truly. Been busybusybusybusy - first with a Gilbert&Sullivan play, then with Pesach cleaning and a roleplaying convention. G-d willing, at some point or other, I will recall the meaning of 'free time'.

Well, I know I could do more myself, but my mind keeps drawing a blank and giving me error code LI7. Argh, if I can drop robots and princesses on things, I can do this...

Drop robots and princesses on things? What game are we talking about here?

Neo: Un-GAK!
Smith: Kill him again! Kill him again!
Neo: Freeze.
Bullets: We can do tha-- HEY!


I'm ready to vote on most of the blocks... about time we wrap this fiver up, no? :) On the other hand, if NAHT and/or others will be coming back with a new wave of variations, I think we can wait a bit longer...

Neo: *GAK!*
Smith: Check him.
Jones: He's Dead, Jim.
Smith: Who's Jim? Have you been cheating on me?

or

Neo: *GAK*
Smith: Check him.
Jones: Well, he has a wallet with some money in it, and some picture of him with another guy next to a phone booth.
Smith: Let me see that. *Pause* No Way, Dude!

or

Neo: *GAK*
Smith: Check him
Jones: He's done. Let's go home.
Matrix: Neo has activated God Mode
Jones: Oops!
Smith: When I said check him, did you check for God mode?

Actually, it's not a game reference. It's just me being bitchy. I mentioned being from The Site Formerly Known As The Vault once, ya know. Anyway, fiving time.

Trinity: You can't be dead, you can't!
Tank: Uh, see that gauge on his vitals?
Trinity: Yeah...
Tank: It's been switched with some minimalist art. Here, let me put it back.

Neo: *UN-GAK*
Agents: DIE!
Neo: No. You didn't say the magic word.
Agents: Um, please?
Neo: Actually, I was looking for "abracadabra."
Smith: GAK!
Neo: Wow, it actually works.

Neo: JACK-OUT!
EMP: EXPLODE!
Trinity: SMOOCH!
Neo: Huh, that tasted like a red M&M.

Oooo... I liked the first two of those a lot, Rayinne.

All right. this is my first attempt at FBC, so please be gentle.

Tank: Neo is dead.
Trinity: Look who knows so much. well, it just do happens that our friend here is only mostly dead. that means we can bring him back.
Morpheus: But what does he got that's worth living for?
Trinity: True love.

Agent Brown: Well boys, congradulations for a job well done. let's go.
Neo: Go on now, go. walk out the door.
Agent Smith: GASP! youre alive!
Neo: Did you think i'll crumble? did you think i'd lay down and die?
bullets: Wheeeeeee!
Neo: oh no, i won't! i will survive!

Hmm, a Princess Bride ripoff and a potentially perfect tie-in with a block with "Pseudo-GAK!" in it (yes, I think Neo should apply what he learned earlier in the fiver). I like it! :) -- Pteryx

Maybe even: Dammit Jim. I was thinking of 'dammit smith' first too, but I think it's still less funny.

Vote time!

Proton's Mostly-Dead Block (slightly revisied):
NAHT's Cheat-Code Block (slightly long):
KZiti's Necrophile Block (slightly risque):
As for Neo finishing off Smith, I loved this one:

Rayinne's Magic-Word Block:

I favor the Necrophile, because I'm a huge fan of Sexy Losers.

Gatac

I say "Cheat Code" then "Magic Word" are my favorites for the blocks! :D

My vote's definitely for "Mostly Dead", preferably coupled with a "Pseudo-GAK!" in the previous block -- though it can work with other types too. -- Pteryx

That's unanimous, then!

...no, wait. No it's not.
Multanimous?
Is that even a word?

Smith Should say Sorta-GAK! Because he doesn't really die.

Oh, I vote for that one!

I think we need more "Smith dies" blocks to choose from, so let me try...

Neo: Whoa. You're all numbery!
Smith: If you're so interested in numbers, count these bullets!
Neo: OK. *freezes bullets* One, two, three, four --
Smith: OK, now you're bugging me.
Neo: How 'bout if I Neo you instead?
Smith: To be perfectly honest I'd rather die. Pseudo-GAK!

^ I feel obligated to point this out again by the combination of running gag, overkill of cliche, and sheer irony... ;)


I also like my (unfortunately long) block about Morpheus cheat-coding Neo a 1-Up, BUT: We seem to have Neo faking his "GAK!" anyway, which renders this cheat code scene contradictory, or at least confusing.


On the other hand, this pun still seems to fit:

I also liked
and Captain Proton's Princess Bride scene, because it does fit rather nicely.