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-   -   It's a textbook case (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/showthread.php?t=985)

e of pi 02-15-2006 03:32 AM

It's a textbook case
 
Got any amusing errors from class materials? Odd sentences? Whatever? Putt 'em here.

I found this sentence in the history reading for tonight and thought it was pretty funny. Enjoy.

A belief in a rational, steadily improving universe sustained Wedgewood through the childhood deaths of two of his eight offspring, the amputation (without anesthetic) of a diseased leg and his agonizing death at age 64 from a diseased jaw.

Yep, rigor mortis sure helps to keep a stiff upper lip.

Sa'ar Chasm 02-15-2006 03:35 AM

I have reams of amusing/weird/slightly dirty things my professors have said in class. I published them in the campus paper for lack of better ideas for columns.

Personal favourites:
"It's hard to get a feel for cleavage" - in reference to cleavage planes in crystals, with accompanying hand gestures.

"You can also get cleavage with alcohol" - regarding ability of alcohols to cleave carbon-carbon bonds. The prof saw me snickering from across the room.

KillerGodMan 02-15-2006 03:47 AM

Nothing too bad, but here's one I did on purpose (note: my math teacher loves J. Judy)

Angle C = fish Because Judge Judy said so!

Needless to say, I got that question wrong

Sa'ar Chasm 02-15-2006 04:01 AM

Well, Anglesey is an island, and you can go fishing from islands, so you answer isn't at complete right angles to being right.

(It's highly likely that I'm pronouncing Anglesey wrong in my head, but if necessary we'll pretend it's correct for the sake of a pun.)

e of pi 02-15-2006 04:10 AM

Back in the fifth grade, if I hadn't done the reading for lit and it said something like "name the three major plot points in last night's text...", I'd just write:

Bob, Joe, Ed.

Vedra 02-15-2006 05:38 AM

I remember I got tired of in-class essays once in English class and I wrote an essay about why essays were stupid. He actually graded it. I didn't do too badly either.

MmeBlueberry 02-15-2006 12:09 PM

I have a list of things students have said. Here's one of my favorites, from a 7th grader:

Me: Now, as I read this article aloud, I want you to jot down your thoughts on it, and then we'll discuss it.
C: Mrs. Dean, what's a thought?

e of pi 02-16-2006 12:05 AM

Heh. I've known some kids in my highschool classes like that.

MaverickZer0 02-16-2006 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e of pi
Heh. I've known some kids in my highschool classes like that.

My entire class is like that.

"Okay class, what's the world's largest WAN?" (A concept gone over two minutes earlier.)

Class: Uh...
Me: Ooh, pick me!
5 Minutes later, after the answer's been given: Oh, the Internet!
Me: *banging my head against the keyboard*

KillerGodMan 02-16-2006 03:49 AM

KillerGM's English Teacher: It's like calling sombody a Nazi because they MIGHT have been in Germany in the Nazi empire!
Student (not KillerGM, who is a history major): Mr. Ryan, what's a Nazi?

Sa'ar Chasm 02-16-2006 04:24 AM

Sa'ar's Organic Chem Prof: Is anyone except Sheila actually paying attention here?
Sa'ar: Sorry, what?

Chancellor Valium 02-16-2006 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm
Well, Anglesey is an island, and you can go fishing from islands, so you answer isn't at complete right angles to being right.

(It's highly likely that I'm pronouncing Anglesey wrong in my head, but if necessary we'll pretend it's correct for the sake of a pun.)

Ynys Mn!

How can you defile it with that...sais name... :evil:

:P

e of pi 02-16-2006 10:00 PM

Wow, less than one page and the original point is long gone.

Sa'ar Chasm 02-16-2006 10:10 PM

Quote:

How can you defile it with that...sais name...
I'm Gaelic, not Cymric. Any language that uses a w as a vowel and requires half a pint of phlegm to pronounce the placenames (thank you, Blackadder) isn't worth the trouble of learning how to spell correctly.

Gaelic's almost as bad - whoever transliterated it into the Latin alphabet must have had a few slugs of the Water Of life in him (musta been a Sassenach).

Xeroc 02-17-2006 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm
... Any language that uses a w as a vowel and requires half a pint of phlegm to pronounce the placenames (thank you, Blackadder) isn't worth the trouble of learning how to spell correctly.

Heh. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by e of pi
Wow, less than one page and the original point is long gone.

Wait... there was a point? ;) :P :D

e of pi 02-17-2006 04:44 AM

*shrug* At least a reasonable imitation of one.

Lostoyannaya 02-17-2006 12:34 PM

Myself and a friend had a theory that our English Literature teacher didn't actually read our work, as he had a knack of neglecting mistakes. For a joke, my friend handed in an essay that started like this:

"King Lear was a play what was wrote by Shakespeare. he was a really kool playwrite who write lots of plays in the middle ages."

...

And he got a B.

~~Lostoyannaya

e of pi 02-17-2006 05:23 PM

I once handed in this essay for an assignment to write about our impact on the enviroment:
Quote:

Rob Davidoff
Mr. Gillum
Period 7 Biology
10 November 2005

The Relationship between Man and Nature in the United States

It f*cking sucks. It always has. We were given a big huge continent and we blew it. We cut down all the forests and killed all the animals we could. The Native Americans had it right, but they stood in our way so we beat them down too. Nowadays, we can blow up cities in a second and are doing our best to break down the fragile relationships between animals and replace it with suburbs and SUVs. Were doing our best to destroy all that we have and not doing anything effective about fixing it. We cut through the ozone layer and.

Yeah, Im kidding. Turn the page for the real thing.
Then I had my real essay.

Lostoyannaya 02-17-2006 06:32 PM

I thought it was a wonderful essay! You should email it to the Whitehouse. Through some kind of secure server from an anti-Apache hellicopter bunker :wink:

~~Lostoyannaya

e of pi 02-17-2006 07:10 PM

I'm not that stupid. They'd send me hunting with Cheney.


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