The Five-Minute Forums - September 19

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- - September 19 (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/showthread.php?t=862)

I've taken some time to think things over after that last update. A lot has changed here in a very short time; I didn't want to risk making it worse by acting on impulse. I'm ready now to get things moving again, but first I want to give Marc a proper sendoff.

I've formatted Marc's farewell post as an article, and added some comments of my own. In that post, Marc mentioned some material he'd written that hadn't yet been published; I think the least I can do as a parting gift is to publish it. There are three items....
<ul>[*]....the first and oldest of which is ENT's "First Flight." Back in 2003, Kira suggested that I let the staff do some Season 2 ENT fivers to help me catch up; we worked out a plan for a 5ME "guest event," for which each staffer picked an episode. This was a back-burner sort of event with no deadline, just something we were going to get around to when we all had time... so naturally, Marc had his done almost immediately. It's a great fiver, making use of 5ME conventions while still being clearly Marc's. We were saving it for the event, but since that event is pretty much shot now, here it is. Enjoy.[*]The second fiver is much more recent: Five-Minute The Day the Earth Stood Still. This is a classic 1951 sci-fi movie, one that every fan of the genre should see; I was delighted to find that Marc was as fond of it as I am. It was directed by the great Robert Wise of ST:TMP fame, who recently passed away; I'm sure the fiver won't mind doing double duty as 5M.net's tribute to him.[*]Finally, here's a Top 10 list from Marc that was lost in the shuffle of a past event: The Top 10 Things Picard Would Dislike About Commanding Archer's Enterprise.[/list]What I have to say about Marc is in the article, so I'll return to the question of where we go from here. I know how this must look. We've lost two staff members in as many weeks, and I won't deny that it's a serious blow. Quite frankly, I feel like crap. But we had big plans for the coming year before all this, and we still do.

A long chapter of this site's life -- the chapter called Five-Minute Voyager -- is over. We've entered a new chapter called FiveMinute.net. Maybe it was naive of me to think we would enter it unchanged. Maybe the things that have just happened were inevitable. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm not giving up. This is something I want to do, and I would do it alone if I had to.

But I'm not alone. IJD and Derek, two very talented people who've earned their positions many times over, are still on staff. I have two eager new section heads, Scooter and Sa'ar Chasm, along with a new one to be announced at the end of the month, and others waiting in the wings. I have Nan, my friend since before there was a Five-Minute anything, who's always there to lend a hand. I have Xeroc, tireless organizer of the 5M.net community weekend chats and developer of a project called 5MX that you'll soon be hearing more about. I have too many guest writers and forum regulars to list; their contribution is enormous. These people are my support, and with that support, I'm not even tempted to give up.

This site is bloody but unbowed. It will be here tomorrow -- and I hope you will be too.

(Note: My fiveminute.net email hasn't been available to me for the last three days or so. AntonyF at Trek Nation is working on the problem; in the meantime, you can reach me at my old address, five_minute@lycos.com.)

Quote:

Archer: True, but it was a long road getting from there to here. And we'd never have made it if A. G. hadn't had....
T'Pol: Faith of the heart?
Archer: Something like that.

Heh.

Also, the postcard gag and the excitable nebula gag were really good. Marc, if you're reading this, that was hilarious.

Quote:

Klaatu: I've tried to persuade the world's leaders to meet with me but they refuse to listen. That's why I need your help.
Professor Barnhardt: We could arrange an international conference of intellectuals. I suggest that we invite the planet's finest minds in the most prestigious disciplines -- mathematicians, microbiologists, computer programmers, chemists, librarians....
Klaatu: Librarians?
Barnhardt: Preferably cataloguers.

Computer programmers? Aren't we being just a little anachronistic? :) And the rest of those jobs seem a little ... familiar.

Quote:

Having no Captain's Yacht at his disposal for recreational boating or for staging an insurrection against Starfleet Command

Those things are pretty versatile.

So long, Marc. I'm sorry to see you go.

Also, rest in peace, Robert Wise.

Quote:

Resuscitation Machine: BZZZZZ!
Klaatu: Hmm. I feel much better.
Helen: That's impossible. You're as dead as a Norwegian parrot!
Klaatu: Actually, I'm not quite dead.
Helen: Yes you are.
Klaatu: I think I'll go for a little walk.
Helen: You're not fooling anyone, you know.

Good stuff. And I really do mean good stuff - we need more classic SF fivers, dagnabit.

I really shall miss Marc's style of fivage. I'll make no secret of the fact that I deliberately try and emulate it in some of my fivers (though how sucessfully I could not say). Again, we'll miss you, man.

Yet another wonderful Top Ten List! :D

Zeke, fix or enable the HTML code in your post.

Quote:

The absence of shields leaves him without anything to raise in an emergency, other than his voice

ROFLMAO!

Quote:

A. G. Robinson and I were both NX test pilots... and now he's an ex-test pilot.

I looooooooove puns. That was brilliant!

Quote:

Tucker: Lieutenant Charles Tucker, sir, of the Engineering team. My friends call me -- (trips over a toolbox and falls down)
Archer: Let me guess.

hee hee hee

It looks fine to me, evay. I was having trouble getting the code to work at first, but I can now see it properly whether I'm logged in or not. Is the HTML in that post malfunctioning for anyone else?

It was messed up for me, too. I went to my profile and changed "Always allow HTML" from no to yes, and now it looks right.

Quote:

A. G.: You may not believe this, but being a starship helmsman isn't always as glamourous as it's cracked up to be.

*snicker*

Quote:

Archer: If he sends me a postcard, I'll kill him.

Quote:

Forrest: (over the comm) Commodore Forrest to Club 602. Are Commanders Robinson and Archer over there? I need their analysis of the cause of the accident.
Ruby: Yes, sir -- I can see them working on their report right now.

Heh heh heh.

Quote:

Mr. Barley: Well it's nonsense if you ask me! I'm sure this guy is from Venus, not Mars! Right, Mrs. Benson?
Helen Benson: I don't quite know. If he was a she, I might agree with you.

What's that, A Stranger from Venus? :mrgreen:

Quote:

Klaatu: You must... take this... message to Gort. Klaatu... barada... nikto.... GAK!
Helen: "Klaatu barada nikto gak." Got it.

Send wire, main office, tell them I said "ow." Gotcha! :wink:

Once again, good show, Marc. :D

EDIT:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeke

It looks fine to me, evay. I was having trouble getting the code to work at first, but I can now see it properly whether I'm logged in or not. Is the HTML in that post malfunctioning for anyone else?

Yeah, for me, the links don't show up in the post, but they're okay in the News column entry. If I go to post, however, the links show up just fine in the Topic Review window below the Post form. :\

Looks like the "Always allow HTML" field is the culprit, so I've taken the liberty of setting that to "Yes" for everybody. (SQL is a nice thing.) Let me know if there are any further problems.

Quote:

Archer: Score one for us -- I think we've just discovered the first dark matter nebula known to human or Vulcan science.
T'Pol: Your smugness may be premature. The nebula might be composed of an entirely different substance.
Archer: Then we'll have to find a way to confirm that it's made of the right stuff. Trip, can you load a few warheads with something that will excite the dark matter atoms?
Tucker: No problem. About thirty kilos of decon gel should do the job nicely.

Why do I get the feeling this has more scientific credibility than whatever technobabble they came up with in the episode?

Quote:

Archer: It doesn't count for anything to go second. Just look at Buzz Aldrin -- nobody remembers what he said when he stepped on the Moon.
Ruby: Buzz who?

*snicker*

Quote:

Technician: It's too late! Long-range sensors show there's nothing left of the prototype but a cloud of debris!
Vulcan: Perhaps we should call it the Robinson Nebula.
Archer: When I told you guys to get a sense of humour, I didn't mean the gallows variety!

Hah! I like that guy already.

Quote:

Archer: Pilot error!
A. G.: Engine flaw!
Archer: Pilot error!
A. G.: Engine flaw!

Duck season!

Quote:

A. G.: Remember that I lost it when the needle reached two point two!
Archer: Then it's time to try Trip's idea! (flips a switch) There -- I've disconnected the speed indicator!
A. G.: I'll be damned... it worked!

GAHAHAHAHAHA!

Quote:

Tucker: I don't see how she could have made a giant cloud of dark matter turn bright crimson.

Strontium.

Quote:

Klaatu: We come in peace!
Soldier's Handgun: (BANG!)
Klaatu: URK!
Soldier: And you can rest in the same way, you th-th-thing from another world you!

I assume the soldier was eager and young, but was he a space cadet?

Quote:

Klaatu: Don't you have a body called the "United Federation of Countries"?
Harley: It's "Nations," not "Countries," and it's not a federation.
Klaatu: What about the "United" part?
Harley: Just attend one of their meetings and you'll see.

*znerk* Delightfully cynical.

Quote:

Mr. Barley: Well it's nonsense if you ask me! I'm sure this guy is from Venus, not Mars! Right, Mrs. Benson?
Helen Benson: I don't quite know. If he was a she, I might agree with you.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, for those of you who missed that one.

Quote:

Professor Barnhardt: We could arrange an international conference of intellectuals. I suggest that we invite the planet's finest minds in the most prestigious disciplines -- mathematicians, microbiologists, computer programmers, chemists, librarians....
Klaatu: Librarians?
Barnhardt: Preferably cataloguers.

*snicker* Someone has to impose order on the chaos.

Quote:

Klaatu: The world has to realize the importance of my message. I'd like to arrange a little demonstration a day before the conference.
Barnhardt: All right... just as long as you don't destroy anything.
Klaatu: I promise. And I assure you that no intelligent life will be harmed.
Barnhardt: You mustn't take action against any politicians either.
Klaatu: Oh. Then this could be more difficult than I'd anticipated.

ROFL! Missed this the first time through. That's what I get for reading at the lab instead of working.

Quote:

Klaatu: Klaatu calling Headquarters. I request use of the Eludium Pew-36 Modulating Space Spammer tomorrow at noon.

We're obstructing his wireless signal from Venus?

Quote:

Colonel: Sir, if communications and travel are completely shut down, how do we know it's happened all over the world and not just here in Washington?
Cutler: Standard military operating procedure, Colonel. "When electronic communications are cut off, critical information shall be relayed through the use of foot messengers."

We won-GAK!

Quote:

References from that movie never get old. I approve.

Quote:

Imray tari narawak axo degus

Marc, I demand you come back and explain that to me.

Quote:

Being expected to do anything useful with four fewer warp factors and about eighty billion fewer megajoules in firepower than he's used to

Not like he used the firepower much, though.

Quote:

The embarrassment of discovering that 22nd-century transporters are less accident-prone than 24th-century ones

GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So true.

Happy trails, Marc. Y'all come back now, y'heah? Don't be a stranger (and other cliches).

Quote:

Archer: It doesn't count for anything to go second. Just look at Buzz Aldrin -- nobody remembers what he said when he stepped on the Moon.
Ruby: Buzz who?

Actually, that reminds me - as a matter of fact, everyone gets what Armstrong said wrong too.

Hilarious! :D

And again, good bye and smooth sailing, Marc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm

Quote:

Mr. Barley: Well it's nonsense if you ask me! I'm sure this guy is from Venus, not Mars! Right, Mrs. Benson?
Helen Benson: I don't quite know. If he was a she, I might agree with you.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, for those of you who missed that one.

Oh, I got it. I just thought it might be doing double duty as a reference to another 50s SF movie with Patricia Neal (Helen Benson).

Quote:

Klaatu: Klaatu calling Headquarters. I request use of the Eludium Pew-36 Modulating Space Spammer tomorrow at noon.

Gah! I meant to cite that one, too. :oops:

Quote:

Imray tari narawak axo degus

Marc, I demand you come back and explain that to me.

I'll second that demand. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeke

Looks like the "Always allow HTML" field is the culprit, so I've taken the liberty of setting that to "Yes" for everybody. (SQL is a nice thing.) Let me know if there are any further problems.

That did it; working just fine, now. :D

Re: September 19

[quote="Zeke I have too many guest writers and forum regulars to list; their contribution is enormous. These people are my support, and with that support, I'm not even tempted to give up.[/quote]

Aww... Thanks Zeke, you're not to bad yourself.