Star Trek: Voyager - Yours to own in Gibberish Today!
 

So I just recieved all seven seasons of Voyager in the mail. From China. Bought them on eBay of course.

Would you like to know what the blurb for season one says? Of course you would, because that's why I started this thread!

Ahem.

Navigator's number of warship of star headed by first woman captain precious Wei, fall into an enormous cavity , is thrown and united 70000 mere distant place from the star , for solve energy shortage problem, precious Wei captain lead team member go rascal celestial body survey energy, unexpectedly, Nilles is attacked, the lung is siphoned away fast; Find the celestial body person's corpse of grade a lot of 5 on the globular asteroid; Pursue gram com -mandant injured attack that energy flow with card tower , navigator number face uniden -tified energy shed attack, a large amount of energy run off, unidentified other star seize the opportunity , slip into airship, team member supervise unprecedented challenge...

Doesn't that sound exciting?
I'll post the rest of the seasons (they only get better) as I get a chance.

Yikes. Looks like The Gospel of Darmok is spreading faster than we thought...

Bite the wax tadpole!

Do not want.

(quote Backstroke of the West seemed appropriate)

Season Two:

Headed by the woman captain precious Wei navigator number save before the 400 year from the 20th century for the earth woman boat person and team of her that E.T. kidnap at some galaxy of celestial bodies Person,can return to earth the peoples on it sleep 400year by the earth again?
Crew that navigator have have , think feeling of house too once in a while, uninteresting space life let , feel lonely losing each person, then crew decide to breed the future generation on the ship; Crew's life and work become rich and colorful because of joining that a lot of other celestial bodies are biological, continue their immature mission in the space of the great writing brush...


Looks like it's really getting interesting now! Just wait until season seven, where apparently the crew turn into horses.

"Uninteresting space life?" Oh, I wanna buy that one! :)

"Then crew decide to breed the future generation on the ship." Shouldn't that be IN the ship?

"Continue their immature mission." Oh, so in this version Paris is in charge? ;)

Want to visit the ear tower area of Germany?

Season Three:

Precious captain Wei is leading a brave crew to come to the ear tower area of Germany from the remote outer space, when they have entered the particle district of a superlight speed, the transducer has been destroyed,suffer attack of airship morly among one space breach, force , fall in 29 century of the earths, have prevented a calamity ruin of solar system too; They go through hardships fly to , spend half Galaxy , dispel and withdraw and set up the m-
ajestic association of the army, find E.T. and fierce and more cruel enemy from famous celestial body, crew's life has recieved Venus Williams association, could they find the way to return to the earth in the 20th century...

'Ear tower area of Germany'? 'Crew's life has recieved Venus Williams association'? WHAT?????

BTW, the apparent random extra spaces and 'm-
ajestic' is exactly as it's written on there.

Actually the forum is editing out all my extra spaces.

...space,_when___they_have___entered___the___parti cle_district___of_a_superlight_speed...

They spent half the galaxy? The following jokes come to mind (there are a plethora, El Guapo):

1. Did they use Star Trek Mastercard?
2. Which half? The one filled with disparate, squabbling cultures, or the half that the Federation isn't in? :)
3. I wonder how many ningis that adds up to.
4. I'd love to see the plastic bag that the purchaser used to carry it home.

That does it. Google Translator has <i>gone too far</i>.

How they got away with mass producing this gibberish and selling to the public I'll never know. At least the episodes themselves are fine - and the menu screen is awesome!

I think I need more coffee...

I've had no time to do more than drop by the past few days, but here is *drumroll*

Season Four:

This one excellent science fiction movement serial, headed by precious captain Wei navigator number afford to make great efforts still, they shuttle back and forth in the space, go through a lot of thrill, the card tower commandant's shuttling back and forth machine is attacked and crashed in one dose of manors of cloth, pursue grams of first lieutenant deepen , look for where abouts of first lieutenant dangerous; Draw Kazakhstan add colony , cruel and ferocious card Rui guide people murder a lot of innocent citizens, send the abandoned airship found in area in A , has initiated the war beween the interplanetary alliance and blue people of nut unintentionally ; At this moment the bodies of the navigat
or's number begin to present the incompatible state too ...

First they visit Germany, and now Kazakhstan? So much for being 70000 light years from home.

Making the least sense yet, here is Season Five:

Navigator number stay in Delta already more than four years in quadrant, face the situation in a dilemma, precious captain Wei has felt guilty too, fortunately succeed in dissolving with the war between 8472 race, the person suspected of being involved in shielding , sheltering has soul reactioning of precious captain Wei, the navigator suffers alliance's naval search: Worm from hole to about 400 position of navigator , lead to the earth direct course of doorsteps, the navigator is brought into the worm hole by the person with soul reaction, but find this is a fraud, the crew faces the unprecedented life danger ...

I can't figure out what is meant by the 'person with soul reaction'.

Season Six, making even less sense than the last:

Interplanetary fleet nearer and nearer in Luis that No. come back home in navigator, crew's ind begins to fluctuate too, in destroy after Akers E.T. of celestial body attack, precious Wei captain resume card tower commandant position that relieve, navigator for escape , throw Rui attack of people , wake up , throw Rui people defeat and sleep Goethe forest people for 900 year unintentionally, in order to help the rejuvenation of a civilization , nearly make the navigator suffer the extinction ....

This season has a special Guest star profile! (Vaughn Armstrong)
A frequent quest star on Star Trek series,including Enterprise,Armstrong discusses and sing,[yes,sings!]about the many roles he's played, including a Brog,a Vidiian,and a Hirogen on Voyager.

And now, featuring the crew of horses you know and assimilated up,
Season Seven:

Navigator expeditionary team in dash for ward under Walker first lieutenant lead, destroy , unify matrix pitch, get back to the navigator and have again, the thought of dashing for ward Walker is controlled by horse's strange thought extremist then, attempt to wake sneaking memory of the strange this person's crew of horse already assimilated up ; Through the superlight speed particle electric wave, precious captain Wei got in touch with the first lieutenant of Barclay at last, the navigator reached some day 23 years later of delta walking, precious captain Wei was mysterious and missing suddenly, cause everybody ominous conjecture , dash for ward Walker can destroy queen , brother of wave , in con
-centrator space that nebula assign smoothly, go home together with the navigator's members?

Oh no! Precious captain Wei is mysterious and missing suddenly! Let's have some ominous conjecture!

I think that may be Qatai, in the episode "Bliss".

Or maybe it's Seven. Or...

Back to read more, later. These remind me of when we'd take sections of fivers and run them through five or six different language translations on GoogleTrans or BabelFish -- some of them were really quite amusing.

On the other hand, some things hold up amazingly well:

The syllable "jane" must mean precious (and about five other things) in Mandarin. Jane-Way becomes precious Wei (although why they didn't translate Wei I'm not sure).

17 explained to me how Revenge of the Sith became Backstroke of the West. Backstroke is a pseuo-archaic term for "hitting the other guy after he hits you", so I supposed that's sort of like revenge. Sith, obviously, isn't a real word, so they just tried to find a character that sounded like it. Apparently they couldn't find one with a -th on the end, so they went with Si- (Xi), which means West.

I know that, with some European languages, some names don't have an obvious translation or meaning. I'm not familiar enough with Chinese languages to tell, but perhaps Wei might be such a case.

"Excellent science fiction movement serial..."

I find myself pathetic that Bill and Ted HAD to come to mind even though I've never seen them, I only know about their cliches thirdhand, and it STILL came to mind.

Anyone else find it weird that Barclay was translated correctly, but Janeway wasn't?