Originally Posted by erobourous

Andromeda: Greetings, Andromeda fans. I'm here on behalf of the author to apologize for his outrageous delays.
Lorian: We were... too late.
Andromeda: Quiet, you. Now then... it seems that, for various reasons which are probably just excuses, the author is late with 21 of his Season 2 parodies.
Lorian: You're going to give me a hard time about this, aren't you?
Andromeda: Ahem. One moment please, readers.
Old T'Pol: No -- we're going to find Jonathan Archer. He's better at that than I am.
Andromeda: Thank you. Without further ado, here is the much-delayed "Ouroboros" parody, along with a special bonus: hidden in the fiver are the titles of five Star Trek episodes which, ahem, inspired this episode.

Tucker: I'm worried about you. You've been hard to find lately.
Rev (Recording): And so it is with the deepest lack of regret that I depart from Andromeda, but I feel I have no choice.
Tucker: Is something upsetting you?
Rev: I'm sure Trance or Harper is getting all weepy now and asking me why. It would be dramatically wrong for me to be open about my motives........so, as I bid you all adieu, I cannot tell you the real reason. I will, however, give you a hunt. Farewell.
Tucker: Very thorough.
Beka: Figures.
(All but Dylan leave.)
Dylan: What was the hint?

Harper: Stupid frickin' son of a grumble grumble grumble....
Dylan: Why so glum, chum?
T'Pol: The corridor Degra told us about contains several angry alien ships.
Dylan: Is it contagious?
Archer: I don't think we'll like them when they're angry. Mr. Reed, can we destroy them?
Harper: That does it. Come here yAAAAAGH!
Dylan: Oh no! Hunt to Trance: Harper just keeled over for some reason!

Sloth Xindi: This is insane! We're turning against our own semi-people, with no basis except evidence!
Tyr: That's what I like to hear.
Dylan: Shut up, Tyr. We need to take action. Only one race can save Harper now....
Sloth Xindi: Come on, this is Archer we're talking about. He couldn't convince a photon to have wavelike properties.
Dylan: I was alluding to the Perseids.
Degra: Stop that. I'm the physicist around here.

Originally Posted by Alexia

Fatal Error :wink:

WTF is FME? FMA? :roll:

Originally Posted by erobourous

Dylan's Log: We're at the Perseid homeworld already. We're just that cool.

Lorian: (over the comm) Captain Archer, I am Lorian.
Archer: Who are you? What do you want?
Trance: I'll miss you if you die.
Harper: Even if I rise again as a vampire?
Trance: Especially. You and I have a sort of indefinable bond....
Lorian: In case you haven't noticed, Captain, I outrank you. Now do it! ...Er, don't do it.
Archer: You don't outrank me.
Lorian: Do so. Seniority.

Archer: Welcome to our ship. Now explain yourself or I'm stapling your face to the hull.
Harper: Oh, really? What choice would you make?
Trance: Suicide.

Höhne: Welcome to the Perseid homeworld.
Dylan: Um... don't you have a name for it?
Lorian: Funny story, that....

Archer: Whew! We made it through the corridor and waaaait a sec. We're never filmed this bright.
Reed: Uh oh. This must be a flashback.
Mayweather: Sir? According to the position of the stars, we're 70 000 years from where we started.
Dylan: Eek. Time travel? Isn't that dangerous?
Harper: Dangerous of TIME, yes.

Lorian: We couldn't continue the mission or return to Earth, so we just sort of meandered for 117 years. You were captain until you died, then I took over.
Dylan: What do you think? Can he pull it off?
Andromeda: This is Harper we're talking about. He couldn't pull off a shirt.
Archer: Why didn't T'Pol?
Lorian: No one would let her near the big chair after Daniels gave us that tape of "Twilight." I've tried to be the kind of captain you'd want me to be....
Andromeda: I'll be male if that's how you want me.
Dylan: Um... no, thanks.

Phlox: Their story checks out, Captain. That Karyn Archer person has DNA from you, several of the crew, and a couple of weird alien species.
Archer: I guess I had an interesting sex life.
Phlox: I knew my coaching would get you there eventually. And get this. Lorian is the son of Vegeta and Bulma!
Dylan: Um....
Lorian: I carry this strictly for personal protection. It's my Second Amendment right.
Dylan: Oooooookay.

Originally Posted by danieldoof

FME would be five minute enterprise
FMA would be five minute andromeda

Originally Posted by erobourous

Andromeda: I just got off the phone with Dylan. Apparently he was trapped in the past.
Tucker: So, was I a good father?
Andromeda: I've got a theory: there is a demon, a dancing demon. No, something isn't right here....
Lorian: Ew. That's my wrinkly old mom you're talking about.
Dylan: Well, shut it down and we'll deal with your Magog another way. We've got a deep-fryer, right?

Höhne: Shut the device down? But it's so high-tech and sophisticated and... and shiny!
Harper: I know, but Dylan told us to and he's God.
Archer: Whoa! You're wrinkly and old!
Höhne: I set it up like one of those little dinosaur toys. You know, "leave in water and it grows all by itself"?

Tyr: What am I doing in the machine shop?
Harper: Accident. The device brought you here.
Tyr: Where's my shirt?
Old T'Pol: (sigh) I didn't care then, and I don't care now.

Mayweather: And then I end up marrying a hot MACO! It's like one of my fanfic stories and it really happened!
Höhne: What have I told you about 'shipping? Do I need to whack you again?
Rekeeb: No, sir.

Andromeda: Harper just told me the freaky time stuff is happening to him too.
Dylan: Aha! So I'm not insane.
Andromeda: Or, you're not the only one insane.
Reed: I never get married. I don't understand it.
Sato: Don't worry. That doesn't mean you didn't have any relationships with women. It just means they threw you out like a used paper towel when they were done.
Dylan: Also possible. What do you think we should do?
Andromeda: The horizontal mambo.

Trance: You saved me, Beka! My hero!
Beka: Uh, heroine.
Trance: No thanks, I've got plenty.
Lorian: Why are you holding a stapler?
Archer: No reason. Here, lean against this section of hull.

Dylan: Okay, let's get our data together. One: the ship's been temporally shattered.
Andromeda: Two: it's happening to the planet too.
Beka: (over the comm) Three: Stuff from the future keeps attacking Trance, probably for good reasons.
Tyr: (over the comm) Four: My chest is bare.
Lorian: You told him! Why are you always telling on me to my friends?
Old T'Pol: He deserved to know your plan might get him killed.
Dylan: Then it's settled. Our best strategy is to continue roaming randomly until one of us hits on a solution.
Andromeda: If I say I'm a solution, will you hit on me?
Old T'Pol: All right, I admit it. I just don't like you much. You remind me of Trip.

Lorian: Enterprise won't make it to Degra now, so we'll go instead. To do that, we'll have to attack them and steal part of their warp core.
Karyn: Wouldn't that be wrong?
Lorian: No, it's payback for the time they did it themselves.
Karyn: Oh, to those aliens from two episodes ago?
Vance: Hey, it's a Nietzschean.
Tyr: Yeah, hi... is this timeframe before my kinsmen stage a bloody revolt?
Vance: After, actually.
Tyr: I'll be fleeing in terror now.
Lorian: To us 117 years ago. I love cause and effect.

Tucker: So. You an' me.
T'Pol: All it proves is that our future selves are insane.
Beka: Well, this'll be fun....
Tucker: That's not true. I really care about you.
Beka: Yeah, whatever. Just pass me my chakram.

Tyr: They're trying to kill me, Dylan! Do something!
Dylan: No problem -- I'll distract them with my buff physique.
Vance: Nice try. It takes more than that to distract me.
Tucker: Stupid Vulcans. I... hey! Are you stealing our warp plasma injectors?
Tyr: And distracted. Well done, sir.

Originally Posted by whoiam