September 3
 

Kira here, back to deliver one update to rule them all.

I started this fiver in my head while I was seeing the movie for the first time in theatres, almost two years ago... it's come a long way since then and I'm very fond of it, so it's hard to believe I'm actually going to let everyone read it.

Yet, after all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it? Now it comes to it, I don?t feel like parting with it, its mine, I found it, it came to me! It's mine! My own... my precious....

Just kidding. Here, for your reading pleasure, Five-Minute The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.

Before I sign off, kudos to the Very Secret Diaries and The One Milk for inspiration, intentional or otherwise, and thanks to the handful of people who read the fiver and gave me constructive comments. (Any jokes Sa'ar Chasm claims he helped me come up with is a complete lie. It was me, all me.) I'll also note that if there are scenes in the fiver you're not familiar with, that's because I fived the Extended Edition. If you haven't seen it, do so now. Now!

There's more to come later in the week from Marc's corner of the site, so stay tuned.

Great job, Kira! That was just hilarious.

Re: September 3
 

Theres an extended version? *dies* Sheesh, wasnt it long enough already? :lol: :wink:

I'm not the biggest LotR fan I must admit. I havent seen the films, I havent read the books...

*goes to read fiver anyway* :mrgreen:

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :mrgreen: :mrgreen: heeheehee hoohoo giggle. Oh, my *sniffheehee* that was great, Kira. :D You are hereby excused for having been so scarce around these parts.

Waaaaayy too much good stuff to quote it all, but here's a sample:
Hee hee hee ...


Edit: typos, sic call

I'm liking these updates-before-2AM. I'm also liking the fiver - brilliance.

Yup, we all know what a complete and total liar I am. <g> In fact, this sentence is a lie. And this one. And this one. But not this one.

*znerk*

Elves...

Hah! Took me a minute.
"But Indie..." "No camels!"

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Too bloody right.

<snicker>

That was my reaction. Just ask the person who was sitting next to me.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

<znerk>

Can't believed I missed that (it's Haldir, for those keeping track at home). Guess that shows how much attention I pay to details.

*That's* why I've been double posting...I've been hitting quote instead of edit.

Can someone delete this?

Er, yes. You can cant you? Isnt there a delete button next to the quote/edit buttons?

Edit: Yes, indeed there is a delete button :wink:

:lol:

Good one, Kira!

Oh boy, it's all fantastic. :D I'd have to list most of it just to list my favorites, so I'll just list my very favorites. Or something like that.



Heehee.


:mrgreen:


Hahaha! :D


Heeheehee...


:D


Bwahahaha!


The Aragorn-Eowyn conversation is great too :D

Kira, you are my goddess from now on. One of the most consistently funny fivers I've ever read... I'd quote but I'd have to quote the whole thing.

Damn! And there goes my coveted "Sweariest Word to make it into a Fiver" award. Ah well...

Kira, it's so funny it hurts. I beg of you, no more - my lungs won't stand another fiver this funny.

Yes, but only if it is the last post in the topic, else then Zeke or another "moderator" would have to delete it.


And, the fiver is AWESOME :D ! And I'd quote, but I'd just be quoting the whole thing.

Ooooooooh so I kinda ruined his ability to delete it by posting that he could? :lol: Whoops! I knew that... :wink:

Read the fiver.

BWAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Very funny :mrgreen: Even with never seeing the movie!

Thats my favourite bit. If I had been drinking at the time, I would have spurted it all over my computer and needed to get a new one :mrgreen: I would then have sent Kira the bill :wink: :twisted:

Great fiver, Kira! It was hilarious all the way through. Its tempting to just quote the whole thing, but I think my favorite parts were:

Poor Merry and Pippen. Always getting forgotten.

There goes Legolas with the helpful comments again.

Gimli's poor reasoning skills and Pippin thinking he can interact in the middle of a flashback, all in one convenient scene. Very nice.

:lol:

So true. :)

That's Frodo for you; he just loves those Nazgûl.

Alas, Frodo is so pathetically oblivious. It's sad, really. ;)

So long, and thanks for all the references to Five Minute FOTR.

And a tip of the hat to you, my friend, for the head start I got off FotR. In fact, my inspiration for having everyone forget about Merry and Pippin was derived from this scene from FotR:
The confusion of Merry and Pippin came not only from experience (being able to distinguishing them at last only by determining that Billy Boyd, Pippin, was the cute one) but from an unauthorized FotR fiver which saved time by merging the two characters into one, called "Mippin." Hee.

On another note, thanks for the warm reception of the fiver. I'd love to get it out to a bigger LotR audience. I tried emailing theonering.net to get them to link to it, but as they haven't: if anyone is registered, or knows someone who is registered on the TORn message boards and would be willing to post a link, I would eternally grateful. Oh, and we'd probably set an all-time record for hits -- also cool.

Lord of the Rings parodys rule, this one particulary so!

Pie Points to Kira!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1.../piepoints.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1.../piepoints.jpg

Not so sure I know anyone who's registered at TOR.n, though I suspect Celeste might be. I'm fairly sure, however, that there are a few in the TBBS SF/F Forum, so I've posted a link there. Less than overwhelming response, so far, but it's Saturday night -- we'll see what happens.

This thread and Sep. 2 are now in the correct forum, News. Sorry for the inconvenience -- I was so busy packing I forgot some details like giving Kira posting power in this forum.

By the way, though she's heard it before, I hereby add my voice to the chorus in praise of 5MTTT. TORn's failure to link to it is their readers' loss.

Heheheh. I like the stuff about the entish stories......btw, Zeke, u got the email, right?