The Five-Minute Forums

The Five-Minute Forums (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/index.php)
-   Miscellaneous (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=10)
-   -   It's a textbook case (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/showthread.php?t=985)

e of pi 02-15-2006 03:32 AM

It's a textbook case
 
Got any amusing errors from class materials? Odd sentences? Whatever? Putt 'em here.

I found this sentence in the history reading for tonight and thought it was pretty funny. Enjoy.

“A belief in a rational, steadily improving universe sustained Wedgewood through the childhood deaths of two of his eight offspring, the amputation (without anesthetic) of a diseased leg and his agonizing death at age 64 from a diseased jaw.”

Yep, rigor mortis sure helps to keep a stiff upper lip.

Sa'ar Chasm 02-15-2006 03:35 AM

I have reams of amusing/weird/slightly dirty things my professors have said in class. I published them in the campus paper for lack of better ideas for columns.

Personal favourites:
"It's hard to get a feel for cleavage" - in reference to cleavage planes in crystals, with accompanying hand gestures.

"You can also get cleavage with alcohol" - regarding ability of alcohols to cleave carbon-carbon bonds. The prof saw me snickering from across the room.

KillerGodMan 02-15-2006 03:47 AM

Nothing too bad, but here's one I did on purpose (note: my math teacher loves J. Judy)

Angle C = fish Because Judge Judy said so!

Needless to say, I got that question wrong

Sa'ar Chasm 02-15-2006 04:01 AM

Well, Anglesey is an island, and you can go fishing from islands, so you answer isn't at complete right angles to being right.

(It's highly likely that I'm pronouncing Anglesey wrong in my head, but if necessary we'll pretend it's correct for the sake of a pun.)

e of pi 02-15-2006 04:10 AM

Back in the fifth grade, if I hadn't done the reading for lit and it said something like "name the three major plot points in last night's text...", I'd just write:

Bob, Joe, Ed.

Vedra 02-15-2006 05:38 AM

I remember I got tired of in-class essays once in English class and I wrote an essay about why essays were stupid. He actually graded it. I didn't do too badly either.

MmeBlueberry 02-15-2006 12:09 PM

I have a list of things students have said. Here's one of my favorites, from a 7th grader:

Me: Now, as I read this article aloud, I want you to jot down your thoughts on it, and then we'll discuss it.
C: Mrs. Dean, what's a thought?

e of pi 02-16-2006 12:05 AM

Heh. I've known some kids in my highschool classes like that.

MaverickZer0 02-16-2006 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e of pi
Heh. I've known some kids in my highschool classes like that.

My entire class is like that.

"Okay class, what's the world's largest WAN?" (A concept gone over two minutes earlier.)

Class: Uh...
Me: Ooh, pick me!
5 Minutes later, after the answer's been given: Oh, the Internet!
Me: *banging my head against the keyboard*

KillerGodMan 02-16-2006 03:49 AM

KillerGM's English Teacher: It's like calling sombody a Nazi because they MIGHT have been in Germany in the Nazi empire!
Student (not KillerGM, who is a history major): Mr. Ryan, what's a Nazi?

Sa'ar Chasm 02-16-2006 04:24 AM

Sa'ar's Organic Chem Prof: Is anyone except Sheila actually paying attention here?
Sa'ar: Sorry, what?

Chancellor Valium 02-16-2006 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm
Well, Anglesey is an island, and you can go fishing from islands, so you answer isn't at complete right angles to being right.

(It's highly likely that I'm pronouncing Anglesey wrong in my head, but if necessary we'll pretend it's correct for the sake of a pun.)

Ynys Môn!

How can you defile it with that...sais name... :evil:

:P

e of pi 02-16-2006 10:00 PM

Wow, less than one page and the original point is long gone.

Sa'ar Chasm 02-16-2006 10:10 PM

Quote:

How can you defile it with that...sais name...
I'm Gaelic, not Cymric. Any language that uses a w as a vowel and requires half a pint of phlegm to pronounce the placenames (thank you, Blackadder) isn't worth the trouble of learning how to spell correctly.

Gaelic's almost as bad - whoever transliterated it into the Latin alphabet must have had a few slugs of the Water Of life in him (musta been a Sassenach).

Xeroc 02-17-2006 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm
... Any language that uses a w as a vowel and requires half a pint of phlegm to pronounce the placenames (thank you, Blackadder) isn't worth the trouble of learning how to spell correctly.

Heh. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by e of pi
Wow, less than one page and the original point is long gone.

Wait... there was a point? ;) :P :D

e of pi 02-17-2006 04:44 AM

*shrug* At least a reasonable imitation of one.

Lostoyannaya 02-17-2006 12:34 PM

Myself and a friend had a theory that our English Literature teacher didn't actually read our work, as he had a knack of neglecting mistakes. For a joke, my friend handed in an essay that started like this:

"King Lear was a play what was wrote by Shakespeare. he was a really kool playwrite who write lots of plays in the middle ages."

...

And he got a B.

~~Lostoyannaya

e of pi 02-17-2006 05:23 PM

I once handed in this essay for an assignment to write about our impact on the enviroment:
Quote:

Rob Davidoff
Mr. Gillum
Period 7 Biology
10 November 2005

The Relationship between Man and Nature in the United States

It f*cking sucks. It always has. We were given a big huge continent and we blew it. We cut down all the forests and killed all the animals we could. The Native Americans had it right, but they stood in our way so we beat them down too. Nowadays, we can blow up cities in a second and are doing our best to break down the fragile relationships between animals and replace it with suburbs and SUVs. We’re doing our best to destroy all that we have and not doing anything effective about fixing it. We cut through the ozone layer and….

Yeah, I’m kidding. Turn the page for the real thing.
Then I had my real essay.

Lostoyannaya 02-17-2006 06:32 PM

I thought it was a wonderful essay! You should email it to the Whitehouse. Through some kind of secure server from an anti-Apache hellicopter bunker :wink:

~~Lostoyannaya

e of pi 02-17-2006 07:10 PM

I'm not that stupid. They'd send me hunting with Cheney.

Lostoyannaya 02-17-2006 07:22 PM

Laugh Out Loud and a Half! What a comeback. What a tragedy. What a vice-president. :roll:

~~Lostoyannaya

e of pi 02-17-2006 07:27 PM

Hey, at least you don't have to live with his riegn of terror. No, wait, we did that already. Hmmmm....name sugestions?

whoiam 02-17-2006 07:28 PM

It doesn't need to be named. We all know what you mean anyway.

e of pi 02-17-2006 07:34 PM

But the history students of the future won't. How about "Administration of horror"?

Lostoyannaya 02-17-2006 07:40 PM

As a student of history, I say it is totally irrelevant about names. That being said, I am merely bitter about being made to memorize various Italian names, such as...Partito Nazionale Fascista.

What about "Pointless Throning of Administrative Errors"?

~~Lostoyannaya

Chancellor Valium 02-17-2006 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm
Quote:

How can you defile it with that...sais name...
I'm Gaelic, not Cymric. Any language that uses a w as a vowel and requires half a pint of phlegm to pronounce the placenames (thank you, Blackadder) isn't worth the trouble of learning how to spell correctly.

Nonsense. For that you are to be chucked to the Swydd'far of Llainfairpwthgwyngeth :twisted:

MmeBlueberry 02-17-2006 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e of pi
I once handed in this essay for an assignment to write about our impact on the enviroment:
Quote:

Rob Davidoff
Mr. Gillum
Period 7 Biology
10 November 2005

The Relationship between Man and Nature in the United States

The first thing I noticed was that you actually seem to know how to head your paper in proper MLA format. I am such a teacher. :p

Okay, something else to add to the thread...um...another conversation with a student (same initial, but a different kid). (Sorry, most of my stuff is verbal communication rather than written.)

Students were working on skits. C came up to me and said, "Okay, this is going to be a weird question, but which way is west in this room?"

Me: (not wanting to take the time to figure out when the sun is where) "I have no idea, sorry."

C: "Oh, that's okay. Wait - do you know which way is north?"

Chancellor Valium 02-17-2006 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lostoyannaya
As a student of history, I say it is totally irrelevant about names.

McClick ;)

e of pi 02-17-2006 11:17 PM

Yes, at my school we were tought MLA and standard essay format back in fourth grade. I've been doing it since, off and on.

KillerGodMan 02-18-2006 06:59 AM

My system is similar

I'm in the Canadian Catholic School system (that does NOT mean I'm Catholic!), and it's different in some instances, but it's pretty much the same as every other North American system

example:

Quote:

Drama Assignment #3

Actor's Biography

Kyle Beckett
Mr. M Harman
ADA 3O
October ??, 2005
I could explain it better if you want, but that's the basic idea.

Chancellor Valium 02-18-2006 12:53 PM

What is MLA? I've never heard of it.

Lostoyannaya 02-18-2006 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chancellor Valium
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lostoyannaya
As a student of history, I say it is totally irrelevant about names.

McClick ;)

Well, that shut me up.

In our backward little English school, we do not use any heading. We hand in the piece of work and spend half of the next lesson helping the teacher figure out who's is who's. :D (Mine's always the one with the doodles).

But...yeah...what is MLA heading? *Is curious*

~~Lostoyannaya

MmeBlueberry 02-18-2006 02:34 PM

Modern Language Association. It's one of two organizations that has established standards for formatting written work (among other things). The other is APA, American Psychological Association, which I *think* is used mainly for graduate work and beyond - MLA is used, in the US at least, as the standard for everything up to that point. (It's possible that there are certain fields of undergraduate work that require the use of APA rather than MLA, but the division I've experienced is what I've posted. Also, it sometimes depends on one's professors as to which format is expected.)

APA includes "American" in its title, so I'm assuming its use is restricted to the US. And since those of you who aren't from the US are indicating a lack of familiarity with MLA, I'm guessing the same about it.

Sa'ar Chasm 02-18-2006 02:57 PM

In science, we tend to write research papers and not essays, and the standards we follow vary from journal to journal. The American Chemical Society has a template, the Royal Society of Chemistry has a different template, and Elsevier has a third.

Chancellor Valium 02-18-2006 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MmeBlueberry
Modern Language Association. It's one of two organizations that has established standards for formatting written work (among other things). The other is APA, American Psychological Association, which I *think* is used mainly for graduate work and beyond - MLA is used, in the US at least, as the standard for everything up to that point. (It's possible that there are certain fields of undergraduate work that require the use of APA rather than MLA, but the division I've experienced is what I've posted. Also, it sometimes depends on one's professors as to which format is expected.)

APA includes "American" in its title, so I'm assuming its use is restricted to the US. And since those of you who aren't from the US are indicating a lack of familiarity with MLA, I'm guessing the same about it.

Interesting :)

e of pi 02-18-2006 04:45 PM

The title specifically involves:

Student Name
Mr./Mrs./Ms Teacher'slastname
Class
Date of writting. (or is it due date? Don't remember.)

Chancellor Valium 02-18-2006 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e of pi
The title specifically involves:

Student Name
Mr./Mrs./Ms Teacher'slastname
Class
Date of writting. (or is it due date? Don't remember.)

That would've been a bugger for me when I was at school. I almost *never* handed things in on time...

e of pi 02-18-2006 04:59 PM

So? You could lie. I don't, but you could, scum.

Chancellor Valium 02-18-2006 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e of pi
So? You could lie. I don't, but you could, scum.

What a lovely way of appellating people. I see that Borg diplomacy is up to it's usual standard ;)

I could, but that would have required effort.

e of pi 02-18-2006 05:03 PM

Not really. Just put a different date.


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:03 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.