Trek Christmas presents
I'm feeling festive all of a sudden :D Post presents you would get for Trek characters. Or maybe presents they would buy each other.
I'd get Janeway a Starbucks card, with plenty of credit :D ;) |
I'd get Lal a copy of Fritz Lang's Metropolis...
...Oh, and since she's so fond of those stupid spotlights, how about Dead Or Alive's You Spin Me Round for the Borg Queen? |
Gag gifts for Trek characters:
Janeway: soybean coffee Troi: Mocklate Riker: waxing strips Picard: afro wig Spock: camoflage bandana Data: pet rock |
I would buy each and every one of Archer's crew baseball bats and then tell them that he's been badmouthing them all behind their backs to the Vulcans. He seems to enjoy that sort of thing, for some reason.
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Kirk: Boy Scout bandana (he's probably always wanted one :)
Scotty: Fruitcake (made with Aldebaran Whiskey) McCoy: A thesaurus (I'm a surgeon, not a..., I'm a M.D., not a...) Sulu: A Van Helsing compressed gas crossbow. |
I'd get Kirk some shirts that already had holes in them.
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Worf: A phaser with sights on it.
Riker: Saltpeter. Kira: Forehead iron. Janeway: A map. |
Janeway had a map, she just chose not to use it. She also chose "major course corrections for minor comets" every time she shouldn't've.
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Janeway's just as good as a male captain: she refused to stop and ask for directions.
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Okay, that one I'll give you. She may've had the "as the starship warps" course locked in on Day One, but she still needed to ask around about stuff like "hey, is there a region coming up where two races have been slugging it out for hundreds of years?" or "are there any psychotically isolationist species up ahead that I should stay away from?" or "is there a convenient Galactic Stuckey's next to Galactic Mister Goodwrench anywhere in that vague direction?"
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I'd get the Borg Queen a big tub of skin cream and some books by Germaine Greer. Goodness knows what that would do to the Collective, but it would be fun to find out.
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Oh, what are Stuckey's restaurants really like, anyway? There aren't any in Minnesota, nor Iowa or Wisconsin for that matter.
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