Silly Correspondence, Inc.,
 

Dear Sir:

I regret to inform you that the custard pizza you ordered has been torpedoed by the Graf Spee off Jutland in 1943. I also regret to inform you that all sales are final, so we will not be refunding you the sixty-seven-thousand pounds you paid for said pizza.

Yours Insincerely,
Mr. Gladys Smith,
Bexhill-On-Sea

Anyone read Letters From a Nut? Seems very similar.

Huh?

Google it.

no help

Hint: it's a book. And I found an excerpt:

http://webcontent.harpercollins.com/...interior01.jpg

Close, but no crown :lol:

Huh?

Think teeth.

Ohhhhhh.

Aren't you going to compose a response?

Mmmm, probably not. Maybe later.

Aw. Why not?

I hate to admit it, but I don't see the point of this thread, other than postcount. I just don't find the concept funny.

I am shocked. Truly. Don't they teach you kids Surrealism these days?

Only in Art History.

Well, no wonder.

Listen to "They're Coming To Take Me Away", "I am the Walrus", "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" (non-Shatner), "The Ying Tong Song", "Bananphone", "Mahna Mahna" and read/listen/watch Spike Milligan until the stuff's spewing out of your hair follicles in purple rain. Also, Monty Python. And then learn the secret mysteries of the Nimon. And then, my young apprentice, you, like your second pet hamster, will be MINE!

:mrgreen:

Aw heck, I'll bite...


Dear Mr. Gladys Smith,


After having received that bit of bad news, I would like to inform you that I would then like to inquire about how to purchase your time-machine that allows you to transport pizzas into 1943! Also, if this is not available for purchase at a reasonable price (how about twenty cents) then I will have to regretfully inform you that you may be receiving a package filled with poisonous snakes.


Terrible Service,
Mr. Fredrick Pearson,
Antarctica

To: Captain James "That's No Haggis!" McKinley, HMS Sans Buoyancy

Dear Sir.
I've been a passenger on this cruise ship for the past 27 years, and I still haven't figured out why we have 2 bows. I would also like to request special dispensation for my random magical flareups. Last night, in the casino, I was chatting animatedly with Lady Pilkington when I accidently fireballed her Welsh Corgi that WOULD NOT STOP YELPING ALL NIGHT LONG. Maybe an upgrade to third class would be in order.

Signed,
Wizelbend, Second Level Mage

That was me. Damn thing doesn't stay logged in long enough.