You're house implodes while you sleep.

I wish nothing bad would happen to this wish.

Nothing bad happens, but nothing good happens either, in fact everyone in the universe is frozen in time.

I wish I understood why/how the meson inversion properties of Nth metal would create an antigravity effect.

You understand why and how, but the Meson Mafia beat you up and kill you for having discovered their little secret.

I wish New York would quit annoying me.

North Korea launches a nuke and destroys New York, causing a nuclear war that destroys spacetime.

I wish I had a sonic screwdriver.

You have a Sonic Screwdriver, but it's stuck on setting 15,457: melon baller

I wish for more wishes.

You kill yourself because nothing comes true.

I wish more people would join my Jihad to put Dune above Star Wars and destroy Star Wars.

http://groups.google.com/group/dunejihad?lnk=gcimh

They do, but then they vote you out. The tribe has spoken!

I wish that there was a story where the hero isn't prompted to free the genie; he does it anyway. This act of selflessness earns him a lifetime of extra wishes because the reader knows that they'll only be used in good causes.

You're committed to an asylum for such ludicrous ideas.

I wish I wasn't so darn hungry at the moment.

You are so full that you explode.

I wish I had a working microphone for my laptop.

You do, but it works at the local McDonald's, so you are now totally microphone-less. :)

I wish that we had an ETA on the DVD-capable Revolution.

You manage to hack in and find out that information, however Nintendo notice and dispatch a crack strike team who hunt you down and then beat you to death with a red koopa shell.

I wish I had Resident Evil: Umbrella now. Not in 4 days time.

You do. It's an umbrella that belonged to a Resident Doctor, and is evil. Say goodbye to your eyes!

I wish I could remember the quote from the "Fairly Oddparents" cartoon about dead and beeping flowers. (Seriously, does anyone know it?)

You do, but it doesn't exist, so you go insane.
I wish my chinchilla didn't eat my pencil eraser.