The Monkey's Paw Game
 

Basically, this is a game where a player makes a wish and it gets ruined, like in the story about the monkey's paw. For example, the first player makes a wish that ENT would continue. Then the second player could do something like "ENT continues for several more years, but it's full of subliminal programming telling everyone to obey the new world dictator." Then the second player makes a wish of his or her own, and so it continues.

I'll start with...

I wish I could use magic.

You can use magic, but it can only do sissy things like placing random flowers on people's heads.

I wish I could go to sleep. No seriously, I'm so high on sugar from all that fondue chocolate that I'm wide awake.

You go to sleep, but wake up three-thousand years in the future. Everything you love has been outlawed.

I wish I had a bajillion Euros.

Gatac

You have a bajillion Euros....in monopoly money! Buaha!

I wish there were more Voyager fivers. Hint hint.

There will be more Voyager fivers, but it will be "Soon"

I wish I wasn't sick

You're not sick, but in order to not be sick you have to ingest cursed sodium benzoate.

I wish I could go more than five minutes without making a Simpsons reference.

It isnt possible for you to make a Simpsons reference because you live in a time before the Simpsons, therefore people think you are crazy.

I wish I could be more like Neo

You become more like Neo, but you also become more like Keanu Reeves.

Too harsh?

Anyway, I wish I could get a refund for this dead parrot.

No you may not get a refund because the parrot was dead when you bought it

I wish I could get a better job

You get a better job, but it's working for Jolene Blalock.

I wish I had a better car.

You get a better car, but someone rear-ends it as you shop for Trek DVDs. DX

I wish my research paper would just die so I wouldn't have to do it.

Your research paper dies, but takes you with it.

I wish that my hair was more blue.

Every hair on your body turns vivid electric blue, leaving you embarrased for the rest of your life.

I wish I could take over the world.

You take over the world...

Only after you've killed everyone on it, leaving you painfully alone.


I wonder what will happen if I wish for Janeway to be a real person. *is afraid*

Janeway IS a real person.

And so is Picard.

And so is Kirk.

Which last is unfortunate for you because you are in his time, not Janeway's, and you're a redshirt on his Enterprise... :twisted:




I wish I weren't sick. :(

You're not sick, you're dead.
Sucks to be you it does.


I wish I was a fox..

You are a fox, but you are now being chased by hounds

I wish I had more wishes

You get more wishes, but you die before you can use them.

I wish I had a starship.

You have a starship, but the Borg assimilate it and you.

I wish I lived in a video game.

You live in a video game, but unfortunately, it's a beta that crashes every other minute. You're fighting glitches all the time, man!

I wish I could be on IRC more.

You can be on IRC all you want, but no one else can, so there's no one to talk to!

I wish I had a really cool computer with all the best memory, CPU, disk space, operating system, and programs!

You get a computer with all the new gadgets, and a group of hackers uses it as a test subject to test there new alt.KILLCOMPUTERS.deletefiles.shift program.


I get to be in the Phantom of the Opera.

You are, but you are the disfigured, hideous phantom, and the girl dumps you.

I wish I had uber powers

You have uber powers, but the only thing you can do with them is make it rain acid and cause the total anihilation of the WORLD! oh wait, that's pretty good, actualy...

I wish I didn't have to go to work >_<

You don't have to go to work, but while at home you eat too much pie and develop a fatal allergy.

I want to be... a lumberjack!

You become a lumberjack, but you wear womens clothes and hang out in bars.

I wish I did better on my math exam.

You do better on your maths exam, but then end up wasting the rest of your life on a pathetic quest for the "Number of God".

I wish I wasn't in a cave in the land of the broken-linked flag......

You leave said cave, but your skin instantly becomes burned due to your pasty white skin.

I wish I could sing.

You become the best singer the world has ever known, but unfortunately no-one actually gets to hear it becuase it puts them instantly to sleep.

I wish I lived in a library!

I thought my wish was supposed to turn out badly?

You live in a library, but it's a big old musty one and you get allergies and end up with watery eyes so you can't read anything at all.

I wish I could knew morse code.


But...I'm an alto! I'd have to be Meg anyways!

Um...anyways...

You live in a library, but die when a bookshelf falls on you.

I wish... crap, i wish I had an idea...

You realize an idea, and then realize you double-posted.

I wish I could knew morse code.

You learn it, but suddenly can only talk in it, which gets annoying, and you die of lonelyness.

I wish I could become...
An EVIL GENIUS!

You become an evil genious, and you create the ultimate weapon that could take over the world. However, you are defeated by Dexter, well actually DeeDee wrecked your lab.

I wish TopHatMan would stop wondering malls

Anyone else feel like they just watched Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers do "Who's On First"?

Chalmers: Well, Seymour, it seems we've put together a baseball team, and I was wondering, who's on first, eh?
Skinner: Not the pronoun, but rather a player with the unlikely name of "Who" is on first.
Chalmers: Well that's just great, Seymour. We've been out here six seconds and you've already managed to blow the routine. [storms off, muttering] Sexless freak.

<snicker>

Z, my man, you should be a comedy writer.

Oh wait...

This happens, and TopHatMan starts wondering 'Sedna'.



I wish that I could get a computer to go with the copy of Sims 2 which I bought a few weeks ago.

You get given said computer, but drop it, and it blows up.

I wish my llama didn't look so green.......

It isn't green, but now you are color blind.

I wish John died more

John dies more, but you change your name to John and die too.

I wish I could utterly destroy everything!