[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Top Ten things that would happen if another Star Trek character was the captain
10. Captain Tucker: "The Pecanpie-ite Maneuver" (from "The Corbomite Maneuver", not the Picard Maneuver
)
9. Captain Troi would have figured out the motives of the noncorporeal alien in "Metamorphosis" quickly. Of course the shuttle would have crash-landed anyway, so that point is moot, but still...
8. Captain Uhura would have had the Tamarians' Darmokian language figured out in about ten minutes
7. Captain Wesley Crusher in ST:FC while the Borg are attacking the fleet: "Okay, now make the ship spin sideways at high warp. --Wheeee...!"
6. Captain Torres of the Starship [i
ost_uid0]Voyager[/i
ost_uid0]: "I have had ENOUGH of this. Destroy the Kazon fleet. Then destroy the Ocampa world. Then destroy the Array and whatever else you can think of. With nobody around to argue and nothing to argue over, maybe we can get a little peace around here." Tuvok: "Shall I also destroy Neelix, Captain?" Torres: "... Best to be on the safe side, Tuvok."
5. Pakleds: "We look for things. Things that make us go." Captain Janeway: "Ever tried coffee?"
4. Pakleds: "We look for things. Things that make us go." Captain Chekov: "Sorry, no nuclear wessels in this part of space."
3. Captain Quark: "Torres, Tuvok, I want you both to know that I'm not putting you on report because you bartered away precious technology in an attempt to get us home...I'm putting you on report because you failed. You useless excuses for acquisitors."
2. Captain Jadzia Dax in "Mirror, Mirror": *is instantly reduced to ashes by the evil Empire because she's obviously a fake. She doesn't even look like the Kirk they had beamed down to the planet!*
1. Captain Redshirt: "Captain's Log, Stardate 34283.2. Our first day out from spacedock, we have reversed course and are speeding back toward home and away from evil Klingons, nasty alien carnivores, and pretty little blossoms that detach from their stems to violently attack anything in red that moves. The senior crew is talking of mutiny, but all of Engineering and Security is on my side so nyah nyah nyaah."
Next:
Top Ten Answers of Star Trek Characters (excluding anything along the lines of "...where no chicken has gone before") to "Why did the chicken cross the road?"[/color
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